Rabbit Hole Chapter 38

Geumseo let out a gasping, breathless sound. He pulled Go San closer and splayed out his hands, which had been tangled up. His head tilted back, then dropped forward again, his eyelids twitching with residual spasms. Saliva flowed from between his lips as he let out dazed, whimpering sounds of “Ah, ah,” leaving everything wet. Because his forehead was resting on Go San’s shoulder, he could see his own saliva dripping down from his lowered head. It would have been better if that was all he could see. Under his flickering vision, Geumseo watched as something that was neither urine nor semen burst sporadically from between Go San’s hands. Seeing it, tears spilled out. He felt like he had become a beast, not a human.

However, he could not stop.

“Hu, hua… ah… Go San… San-ah. Ah, stop, please stop…. Sob, this… ah, ah.”

Geumseo’s body jerked irregularly. Go San burst into laughter at the sight of himself being drenched—his hands, his stomach, even between his legs.

“Shit, Geumseo. It’s a good thing we did this in the shower room. Why do you produce so much fluid….”

“Huuuuuu-ng.”

As if he had been encouraged by the comment that he was wet, Geumseo began to wring out tears as well.

“Hey! San-ah! We’re going to get dinner, right? Should we go together?”

Just then, the coach’s voice was heard from outside the shower room. He had said he wanted to soak in the hot tub instead of just the shower, so it seemed he had come back quickly. Go San knew that the coach had only showered so fast because he still had his habits from his days as an athlete, but he didn’t tell Geumseo. Instead, he clamped his hand over Geumseo’s mouth, his palm soaked in the fluids Geumseo had spilled. Geumseo, already wide-eyed, opened them even wider and wheezed from his chest. Go San slowly lowered Geumseo’s legs. Even so, the startled Geumseo couldn’t loosen the muscles in his hole, and Go San furrowed his brow at the tight sensation. He pressed Geumseo—whose legs were weak and trembling—further against the wall with his body, trapping him between the wall and himself.

“Let’s go together. Sure.”

Geumseo shook his head. Go San smiled sweetly. He didn’t let go of Geumseo, even though he knew Geumseo was on the verge of a breakdown, fearing the coach might walk in at any moment. In truth, it wouldn’t matter if they were caught. The coach had no human expectations of him. Only expectations of him as an athlete. So, as long as it wasn’t a crime that would jeopardize his status as an athlete, he would just pretend not to see. Poor Yang Geumseo. It was shockingly unfortunate that even around Go San, there wasn’t a single person who would be on his side.

“Mmmph, um…!”

Go San thrust his hips up with a thud. He still had Geumseo’s mouth covered. He had no intention of showing anyone else this sloppy, unkempt face of Yang Geumseo, but he figured a mishap like this was fine if it only happened once. Go San pulled Geumseo’s hand and made him grip his own member. He shook Geumseo’s hand, forcing him to masturbate him—he was already spent, but Go San was still somewhat flaccid from the surprise. Is this a handjob, or masturbation? Shit, whatever. It doesn’t matter. Go San liked everything about Yang Geumseo—his skin, his inner flesh. How can a person be so pleasing, down to their very insides? Go San laughed softly. And Geumseo genuinely thought that Go San was insane.

“San-ah, then shall we go to that place we went before? You know, the one that makes delicious pork belly.”

“Um. Ah, no.”

Geumseo’s member couldn’t get an erection at all. Given the situation, that was only natural. Even so, Geumseo felt his testicles hardening and the area below his perineum swelling. Like the precursor to an ejaculation. His inner thighs were trembling violently. Because Geumseo’s legs were pulled together, Go San was withdrawing only slightly and pushing back in, as pulling out completely would make re-insertion difficult. He was even slow about it. Every time the bumpy, vein-ridden shaft of his cock pried open the entrance, Go San’s lower abdomen scraped against his own, and every time Go San’s groin and the upper part of his testicles struck his own testicles, Geumseo felt like he wanted to scream until his throat gave out.

Go San pressed his body even closer. He tilted his head and sucked thoroughly on Geumseo’s ear. Thanks to him leaning over, their nipples rubbed against each other. Geumseo’s head snapped back, his legs losing all strength. As if he had fully expected it, Go San supported him with his own body.

“Let’s eat eel.”

Go San muttered “eel” in English. The pronunciation, sliding like the body of an eel, slithered into Geumseo’s ears.

“Eel? That sounds good. You’re paying, right?!”

The coach’s excited voice sounded far away, like an echo in a cave. Geumseo’s eyes rolled back, then dropped listlessly. Go San took his hand off Geumseo’s mouth. It was full of moist air. A long string of saliva stretched out before snapping.

“You have the talent to reach climax without even getting an erection. Our Yang Geumseo.”

That voice of Go San’s also sounded like an echo. Go San grabbed Geumseo, who had gone completely limp, under the armpits and stood him up slightly, as if adjusting a doll.

“I’ll finish washing up and head out, so wait in the lobby.”

Because he, too, had been suppressing his climax for a long time, his tone was rough. The coach hummed and walked away. Go San draped Geumseo’s arm over his shoulder and thrust in and out four times, fast, roughly, and deeply. Since it was the shower room anyway, Go San ejaculated inside Geumseo’s belly without a care. Only then did Geumseo hug Go San and sniffle.

“I hate you so much….”

“Then we’re in big trouble. Who else would you have sex with like this if not me?”

I just wouldn’t do it, Geumseo muttered to himself. Go San, still not letting Geumseo go, advised him as if humming.

“Try to like it. They say there’s nothing like physical intimacy to build a bond.”

Go San felt refreshed. He had finished his training to his satisfaction and had had some incredible sex with Yang Geumseo. He whistled lightly and turned Geumseo around. He turned on the shower, wrapped his arms around Geumseo’s limp body, and parted him to clean out the semen. Struggling was useless. The only saving grace was that since it had just been shot in, it just streamed right out.

“Anyway, even if you sleep with other bastards now, you won’t be satisfied.”

Geumseo blinked his reddened eyes. He didn’t know, since he had never slept with anyone else. Is sex usually like this? Does everyone else do it this way, too? Surely not even Unha hyung? If that were the case, he thought, then people in this world do terrifying things on a daily basis and go absolutely crazy wanting to do this exhausting, agonizing work. Thinking that, the world and people felt alien to Geumseo.

Go San, who was lathering soap on Geumseo’s body, suddenly frowned.

“That said, don’t even think about trying to sleep with any other bastard.”

“…I won’t. Because it’s exhausting.”

“You won’t because it’s exhausting to have sex with me?”

“Yes… just dealing with you is exhausting enough….”

It was a statement that left plenty of room for anger, but Go San didn’t take it that way. Go San was unexpectedly easygoing in some corners.

“I’ll have to make it even more exhausting so Yang Geumseo can’t pull any nonsense.”

“No, no! It’s enough. It’s enough, San-ah….”

Geumseo waved his hands frantically. He didn’t even wish for that kind of effort. After insisting he hated it, he watched Go San’s expression and muttered, “San-ah, San-ah.”

Strangely, while Go San would turn even rougher at words like “I hate it,” “this is strange,” or “it’s exhausting,” he softened immediately at the mere sound of “San-ah.” Geumseo was acutely aware of that change.

“You smell nice.”

“It’s the same scent as you….”

Wrapped in a bath towel, Geumseo muttered with his nose buried in his own arm. Before he knew it, Go San’s scent had permeated his body. He had gotten used to it, but Go San always pointedly said, “You smell like me.” Did things like this even matter?

“That’s why it’s good. Because I only use good things.”

Go San’s tastes were unique, one and all, and though he hated to admit it, they were good. Geumseo, never imagining he had entered the narrow, deep, and fastidious tastes of Go San, acted like a detached observer standing a step away. Geumseo believed these actions of Go San’s, and this relationship between the two, were merely temporary. He had never thought about it in earnest, but that conviction lay at the base of his heart. If he gets sick of me, if he gets annoyed with me beyond his limits, Go San will quit this game. After all, Go San’s patience was short.

Only the animal that knows it is being hunted runs away quickly. If it doesn’t know it has entered a danger zone, it doesn’t even think to run. When, exactly, would Yang Geumseo be able to realize it?

Or perhaps he knows, but is pretending not to? Since the end of the winter when he was nineteen, transitioning into his twentieth year, Geumseo’s life had been maintained by closing one eye, sealing one ear, and dreaming fast-paced dreams instead of engaging in deep thought.