Debuting by Riding the Returnee’s Bus Chapter 145

We’d shared a room for quite a while, and I’d often seen the two of them chatting, so I’d assumed they were fairly close…

 

Apparently, I was wrong.

 

‘Taehee, just stay still. I appreciate you stepping in for me, but right now you really need to stay out of this.’

 

The atmosphere had already frozen over the moment Kim Taeyeol shouted at me…, but now that Jung Taehee had fired back at him, it felt as though the situation had become impossible to salvage. The air had turned that cold.

 

Instinctively, I turned my head toward Jung Taehee; sure enough, I saw him glaring at Kim Taeyeol with eyes full of hostility. He looked like he was just a second away from transforming into his usual rabid chihuahua self. The only difference was…

 

‘…No? He’s not completely serious? He is trying to hold himself back?’

 

It seemed he was trying to hold his temper back just a little bit.

 

I wondered if he was suppressing his temper out of fear of getting scolded by me, but no—Jung Taehee wasn’t looking at me right now. Both of his eyes were fixed entirely on Kim Taeyeol.

 

Admirable as it was,

 

He seemed to be holding back the venomous remarks trying to spill from his lips out of consideration for Kim Taeyeol’s feelings.

 

‘Right. No matter what, Taehee wouldn’t only think about himself and me. He’s human too.’

 

Considering that the person who stopped Jung Taehee every time he entered his rabid dog mode was Kim Taeyeol, there was no way there was nothing between them. They had spent time together that I didn’t know about and shared conversations I hadn’t heard, so it was impossible for them not to have grown fond of each other.

 

And that was probably why….

 

Kim Taeyeol was even angrier right now. The fact that even Jung Taehee—someone he’d thought he’d become close to within the team—had turned against him made all his pent-up frustration explode at once.

 

As if to prove my thoughts right, he immediately turned around and shouted at Jung Taehee.

 

“Why? Am I not f*cking allowed to yell? Huh?”

 

“What….”

 

“I kept saying I was fine! But it’s okay when Lee Unha keeps pestering me to talk, and I’m the weird one for yelling? Huh?! If I want to be left alone, can’t you just leave me alone?!”

 

“Well… yelling is weird. Isn’t it?”

 

“What?”

 

“You don’t even realize he’s trying to look out for you… honestly, I think you have no shame. Who do you think got us where we are? Right, Suhyeon?”

 

‘No. You really shouldn’t say that, Taehee. And why are you dragging Baek Suhyeon into this when he was just standing there?’

 

“Huh? No… I… I wouldn’t go that far….”

 

“Why? Be honest, it’s true. It’s shameless.”

 

Caught in an impossible situation, Baek Suhyeon became completely speechless. Naturally, Kim Taeyeol’s face twisted even further. That one hit him squarely.

 

“What?! What the f*ck did you just say? Shameless?!”

 

‘This isn’t how this was supposed to go. How did things end up like this?’

 

“Shameless?! Huh?!”

 

‘Wait, hold on a second.’

 

“Well… it is shameless. I don’t even think this was something worth getting that angry over.”

 

I thought someone might step in to help, but unfortunately, the people who could stop this situation were limited.

 

Director Oh and the other managers were nowhere to be seen.

 

Baek Suhyeon, unaccustomed to this kind of conflict, was startled and had frozen up even more than I had, while Jegal Hwi just gave them a warning look and left it at that.

 

Even Joo Wooyoung, whom I trusted, seemed to lack the ability to resolve interpersonal conflicts among comrades, looking unsure of what to do. He just stood near them saying, ‘Don’t fight, guys’, but his words lacked persuasiveness.

 

If the argument escalated further, he might have exerted his presence, but right now, he seemed at a complete loss on how to handle a squabble between teenagers.

 

It was right then that a calm voice rang out.

 

“Both of you, stop.”

 

The owner of the voice was Kim Haejun, stepping between Kim Taeyeol and Jung Taehee.

 

“Are you two… really planning to fight right here?”

 

“…….”

 

“Taeyeol hyung. You know better than anyone that this isn’t something to get so worked up over. I think Unha was just looking out for you… Do you really think this was something worth shouting over?”

 

“…….”

 

“Taehee, same goes for you. Stop it right there. I know you like Unha and want to take his side, but I don’t think you needed to go that far. I know Unha does a lot for our group. But you can’t use that to criticize another member. Taeyeol hyung is definitely doing his part too. So are you, and so are the rest of us.”

 

“Uh… I just….”

 

“I know you didn’t mean it that way. I know you’re usually close with Taeyeol hyung too. But right now… I think the way you spoke and your tone were the real problem.”

 

“…….”

 

It seemed Jung Taehee still held some resentment toward Kim Haejun. It was a bit much to call it problematic behavior, but right now, he looked at Kim Haejun—who was making a rational judgment and calming the atmosphere—with even more distaste than Kim Taeyeol, who had caused the disturbance in the first place.

 

“And… filming starts soon. We can’t go into the shoot like this. Apologize to each other.”

 

However, in this situation, it was impossible for Jung Taehee to voice any complaints against Kim Haejun. Everything he was saying was perfectly reasonable.….

 

More than anything, Jung Taehee didn’t want to clash with Kim Taeyeol either. He had stepped in out of necessity to protect me, but now he looked like he wanted to make up as quickly as possible.

 

He even took the initiative to speak first.

 

“I’m… sorry. Tae—Taeyeol hyung….”

 

The problem was actually on Kim Taeyeol’s side. The guy, who had been staring intently at the hand Jung Taehee shyly extended, suddenly turned on his heel and walked out to somewhere else. All the members couldn’t hide their bewilderment watching him leave.

 

Even Kim Haejun, who had urged the reconciliation, seemed not to have expected this outcome, staring blankly at Kim Taeyeol’s retreating back with a dazed expression.

 

“I’ll go after him.”

 

“Huh?!”

 

“Unha?”

 

“I’ll find him and be right back. Don’t worry too much.”

 

“Wait, I’ll come too.”

 

“No, Wooyoung hyung. If we all go together, it’ll probably just burden him. It’s better if I go alone.”

 

“No, I think I should go too.”

 

“I’ll talk to him properly. Please just trust me and wait.”

 

I pre-emptively blocked Joo Wooyoung, who was subtly expressing his desire to come along.

 

I already knew how much he valued his comrades. And I could understand his desire to show that camaraderie… but….

 

Swarming him wouldn’t do any good. Kim Taeyeol was a much more delicate person than others thought.

 

‘If someone who makes everything look easy goes to him, he’ll only shrink back further. Definitely.’

 

After that brief thought, Lee Unha also moved his feet.

 

‘Where… where could he be? I don’t think he’d go somewhere crowded….’

 

Probably….

 

‘He’s likely on the complete opposite side of the set.’

 

I started to jog a little.

 

I was already short of breath, but considering how long it would take to persuade Taeyeol and patch up the damage, I had no choice but to hurry.

 

‘He definitely won’t answer his phone… Maybe he’s sitting somewhere with a nice view, wallowing in his emotions? That does seem like his style.’

 

I wondered if he could really be that simple, but….

 

‘No way. He’s actually here.’

 

Surprisingly, he was in the easiest place to find. I didn’t even have to look hard. He looked almost as if he wanted someone to come looking for him. It was a spot overlooking the entire set, halfway up a grassy hillside dotted with weeds and trees; my eyes reflected him crouched there, looking utterly pathetic.

 

‘What a sight. Seriously….’

 

And even worse….

 

He was sniffling, shedding tears.

 

‘Seriously… this guy is just….’

 

“Sniff….”

 

‘Well, he’s only nineteen now. What more could I expect from him?’

 

“Sob… hic….”

 

‘He just couldn’t handle his own temper. His pride is high, but he doesn’t know how to bend… aren’t all kids this age like that….’

 

He was radiating an aura that screamed leave me alone, but having come all the way here, I couldn’t just leave him by himself.

 

First, approaching cautiously was the key point.

 

Then, I took the seat next to him without a word. My bottom got damp from the early morning dew, but there was no need to let that unpleasant sensation take over. Right now, matching Kim Taeyeol’s emotional frequency was what mattered. As expected, even though he sensed my presence, he didn’t even look my way. I thought about speaking first, but after checking that there was still plenty of time before filming, I chose to just sit quietly.

 

For now, just being with him came first. If he felt a conversation was necessary, Kim Taeyeol himself would open his mouth first.

 

Of course, whether he would reveal his true feelings was a completely different matter, but the atmosphere was perfect. The scent of grass lingering at the tip of my nose and the cool breeze both seemed to be shouting that this was the perfect atmosphere to drag out whatever was inside.

 

And….

 

Not long afterward…

 

The guy, who had been hanging his head low and trembling his shoulders, quietly began to speak.

 

It was a critical juncture.

 

“I’m… pathetic, aren’t I?”

 

“Huh? No… Not at all. Absolutely not.”

 

His words came between uneven sniffles.

 

“I look like such an idiot, right?”

 

“No one thinks that….”

 

He was so choked up he couldn’t even speak properly.

 

“At first, I thought just debuting would be enough… But now it probably looks like I’ve gotten greedy, doesn’t it?”

 

“No. No way.”

 

“But I’m really not being greedy… I don’t know what you think of me. But I don’t have any greed like that.”

 

“…….”

 

“I know I’m the least popular in our group. But… but… I don’t care about that at all. Popular member, unpopular member, none of that matters….”

 

“…….”

 

“It’s just… it’s just… I feel guilty.”

 

“Huh… what?”

 

“I feel guilty… Like I’m only dragging the team down… Like I’m the only one standing still… Even when you covered for me with the doubling… I know I should’ve just been grateful… but I only ended up making everyone worry… That’s why I’ve been so depressed.”

 

“Ah….”

 

“I feel like the group gets criticized because of me… Like I’m the one ruining all our performances… That’s it… I keep trying to get better, but I just can’t improve… I can’t catch up to you guys… No matter how desperately I push myself, nothing changes… And then I even messed up the variety show the company had such high hopes for… Got nothing but criticism from people… Everyone else is moving forward, doing their part, fulfilling their role and I’m the only one who can’t do anything…”

 

“…….”

 

“I felt guilty… that’s why I acted like that.”

 

“…….”

 

“I’m sorry….”

 

He wasn’t making loud sobbing noises, but he was practically crying his eyes out. He showed no signs of calming down anytime soon.

 

“I’m sorry… I just felt so guilty… So guilty toward all of you… I’m sorry… Hic…”

 

“No… ah, no.”

 

“I’m sorry… I’m really sorry….”

 

He looked so incredibly small that I couldn’t help but feel flustered.

 

“I’m sorry someone like me ended up becoming a member… Hic… I’m really sorry…”

 

I should have brought Joo Wooyoung with me after all.

 

I couldn’t even begin to grasp where or how to start comforting him.