Debuting by Riding the Returnee’s Bus Chapter 146

“I’m sorry, Unha… hic… I’m so sorry….”

 

“Ah….”

 

“Sob… uugh… I… am….”

 

My mind went blank. I knew this was the moment I should offer a word of comfort, but the words wouldn’t come out properly.

 

I had never taken those trendy MBTI tests, but for someone like Lee Unha, whose T trait was estimated to be around 99%, this moment was incredibly bewildering.

 

In my head, I knew I should comfort him, but looking at Kim Taeyeol sobbing uncontrollably, I couldn’t figure out what I was supposed to say. Instead, an entirely different kind of speech started circling in my mind.

 

Just stop thinking like that and focus on what you have to do. Just because you’re a little lacking doesn’t mean the group will fail or succeed because of you. As long as you don’t cause trouble and just keep up with everyone, that’ll probably help the group the most. Stop being depressed, pull yourself together, and let’s keep moving forward while looking at our bank accounts.

 

But this wasn’t the kind of atmosphere where I could say something like that.

 

His confidence and self-esteem looked like they had been dragged to the very bottom. He already seemed convinced that he was a useless person.

 

By now, I was sick of projecting events from the other world onto things happening here, but… naturally, I had seen guys like this in the other world too.

 

Usually….

 

They were the type to die early.

 

Those with excessive confidence died early too, but honestly, I considered this type to be more dangerous. Even if they were lucky enough to survive various extreme events, they often ended up taking their own lives.

 

And since slaves weren’t even allowed the option of suicide, there were plenty who instead sabotaged dangerous experiments in an attempt to get themselves killed, dragging everyone else down with them.

 

Realizing that the situation was perhaps more serious than it appeared on the surface, I decided to steer toward providing comfort.

 

‘I have to comfort him somehow.’

 

“…….”

 

‘Whether I’m good at this or not, the right answer is to force his confidence and self-esteem back up, isn’t it? That’s what I should do.’

 

“…….”

 

Realizing I’d been thinking for too long, I hurriedly opened my mouth. I hadn’t organized exactly what to say yet, but I had to spit something out.

 

“N-No, that’s not true~ What are you saying, hyung?”

 

“…….”

 

“Do you know how reassuring it is to have you as a member? And what do you mean you’re not helping? Do you know how much of a presence you have in this group?”

 

In truth, that was a lie. And Kim Taeyeol knew perfectly well I was feeding him empty flattery.

 

‘It’s not that you have no presence. You’re great, but… the problem is our team has too many people with massive presences.’

 

Sure enough.

 

“You don’t have to comfort me with useless lies… I… I know my problems better than anyone.”

 

Kim Taeyeol shut down my attempt at comforting him immediately. Naturally, I realized this approach wasn’t going to get him back on his feet.

 

‘I need to try a different approach. Mixing in some reality, making it more realistic… No, maybe I should just tell him what I honestly think.’

 

I’d already shown Kim Taeyeol a bit of the real Lee Unha. Maybe I should appeal to him through that. Deciding it was better to just go for it whether it worked or not, I hardened my expression and looked at him again.

 

“Look at me, hyung.”

 

“Uh….”

 

“Lift your head and look me straight in the eye.”

 

“…….”

 

“Do I look like I’m lying?”

 

When I showcased the gaze of the revolutionary Graham, I saw Kim Taeyeol respond reluctantly.

 

“N-no.”

 

“I’m serious. I’m not lying when I say you have a huge presence in this group. Of course, I know. You find it hard to believe. Honestly, it’s a bit awkward for me to say this, but… our other members are just too talented. Look at Taehee. He’s such a great singer. Honestly, Jegal hyung or Wooyoung hyung aren’t bad singers either, but they pale in comparison to Taehee. It’s not like Jegal hyung or Wooyoung hyung are ordinary, either. Don’t you think that when you see them dance and sing?”

 

“…….”

 

“You think, ‘Are these guys even the same species as me?’ Right? And don’t even get me started on their looks. Look at Wooyoung hyung’s face. How can that be a human with the same genes as me? Honestly, when I first saw him, I seriously wondered if we were even the same race. Even now, I’m scared to stand too close to him because I might get compared…”

 

“…….”

 

“Suhyeon is the same. Where else are you going to find someone who’s talented in practically every field, with no real weaknesses and nothing but strengths?”

 

“I guess… so….”

 

“And don’t even get me started on Haejoon hyung. He’s a genuine genius. Lyrics, composing… rap. Since you handle the rap parts too, you probably know better than anyone. Haejoon hyung is on a completely different level from the rest of us.”

 

“I know. That’s why… I….”

 

“Even so, your presence in the team is by no means small. Everyone knows.”

 

“Knows what?”

 

“They know how hard you work, how tenaciously you push yourself. Everyone sees how much you focus during practice and how much heart you put into every single repetitive routine. I’m not the only one watching. Wooyoung hyung, Jegal hyung, Suhyeon, Haejun hyung, and Taehee are all mindful of you. They see the way you practice, and it pushes them to work even harder.”

 

This was half-lie, half-truth. There really were members who were motivated by Kim Taeyeol.

 

“You are a catalyst for everyone in our team, hyung. I believe your image is the engine that keeps our team from stagnating and allows us to move forward. No, I’m certain of it.”

 

But this part wasn’t a lie.

 

“But I….”

 

‘No. Don’t speak. I’m the one who’s talking.’

 

“Of course, right now you might feel lacking. That’s only natural. I’m not an idiot either. Do you think I have no idea what people are saying about you in the comments? What was it… I saw people saying you weren’t needed… I saw comments saying you feel out of place… I know more than one or two people are trashing you. You probably know too, right? You’re reading all of them, aren’t you?”

 

Kim Taeyeol nodded, and I spoke again with firm emphasis.

 

“Tell them all to f*ck off.”

 

“What?”

 

“I said, tell them all to f*ck off. Those aren’t our fans. They’re just people trying to drive a wedge between us somehow. Aside from the members, the <Aether> knows how hard you work. Anyone who watched Idol Classism from start to finish knows how hard you try.”

 

Maybe I was imagining it, but he looked like he was starting to feel a little better.

 

“You’ve been like this since Idol Classism, hyung. You got trashed back then too, but in the end, you grit your teeth and proved yourself. You’re in <Fantasia> because you earned it, so what’s the problem?”

 

“But I just feel like… everyone else is growing, and I’m just… I start to doubt if I’m really necessary for <Fantasia>….”

 

“You are.”

 

“…….”

 

“I need you.”

 

I equipped a serious gaze once more.

 

“If—and I mean really if—the members thought you weren’t needed, even if our Aether said you weren’t needed, even if our agency said you were useless, I would still need you.”

 

“…….”

 

“I’m saying I need you, hyung.”

 

I looked him straight in the eye. His eyes were filled with doubt, but after seeing the sincerity in mine, he couldn’t keep himself composed anymore. I couldn’t be certain, but it looked like he was on the verge of tears.

 

“What… is there that’s even good about me…?”

 

That was his way of asking me to keep going. No matter how much Lee Unha lacked empathy, I could at least understand this much.

 

“You want to hear it?”

 

“Uh… no. You don’t have to….”

 

“Do I have to explain, one by one, why I need you?”

 

“No… I don’t want that, I just have these doubts….”

 

“Why do you think? It’s because you’re the only one who knows my true self.”

 

“…….”

 

“You know it, hyung. How I usually walk around wearing a mask. Remember that time we both shouted at Yohan hyung because we were angry?”

 

“…….”

 

“I haven’t done that to other people, to other members yet.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes. I’ve never been hysterical with them. Of course, as a leader, I say what needs to be said, but I’ve never exploded like that. I don’t know what you think of me, hyung, but it’s not like I’m always confident and good at everything. I have low self-esteem too; I worry every day, I get angry, I lose my temper, and sometimes I even curse. I’m just someone who’s constantly forcing myself to keep it together.”

 

“…….”

 

“You know best, don’t you?”

 

“Yeah… I can’t forget how you looked back then. I was so shocked at the time, seriously.”

 

“Anyway, that’s how it is. You feel like the most comfortable person among the members, someone I can feel a bit safe around. So!!”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“So when you sit here like this, I start getting anxious.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“It stresses me out.”

 

“Yeah… mhm….”

 

“Get up. Get up, and let’s go tear up the set together like we always do.”

 

I forced Kim Taeyeol to stand up. The atmosphere was undeniably good. He moved a little sluggishly, probably embarrassed that I’d actually managed to convince him, but it seemed he was finally ready to head back to the filming set.

 

I wondered if that was enough to persuade him, but seeing his expression had changed….

 

To some extent….

 

It seemed he had pulled himself together.

 

“Thanks, Unha.”

 

“Huh? For what?”

 

“Just for everything. I’ll… I’ll work really hard.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“I’ll try to tear up this shoot, too.”

 

I didn’t know what on earth he could do among those top-tier entertainers, but…. But somehow, he reminded me of the Kim Taeyeol I’d seen back during Idol Classism.

 

***  

 

A short while later.

 

‘Wait. He actually crushed it?’

 

Kim Taeyeol’s energetic performance filled my vision.

 

“HEEEYAAAAAAAHHHH!”

 

“Wait, Taeyeol! Look at our Taeyeol!”

 

“HEEEYAAAAAAAHHHH!!”

 

It looked as if the god of variety shows had descended upon him.