Debuting by Riding the Returnee’s Bus Chapter 95

‘No, no. Am I doing something useless again?’

 

I had only spoken to Jegal Hwi twice before, and both times had ended poorly… making me hesitate to approach him out of the blue. 

 

However….

 

‘I can’t keep living like this.’

 

As of now, he was one of the trainees most likely to become my future groupmate. Since I had to break through that thick wall somehow, I judged that it was right to keep hammering away at it.

 

The timing was actually perfect. It was just a personal observation, but… Jegal Hwi also….

 

His expression didn’t look very good. 

 

Of course, he was a guy who always kept a stiff face unless he was performing, but this time, he looked particularly disgruntled. Was it for the same reason as me? Perhaps. I hadn’t grasped everything about the man known as Jegal Hwi yet, but it was obvious he had some sort of obsessive-compulsive tendency.

 

Usually, those with OCD were control freaks, so I deduced that he would be dissatisfied with the current situation where he was being helplessly led around. Looking at how he maintained the exact same routine every time practice started and ended, it was easy to notice. 

 

The way he wiped off his sweat was the same. From the neck, then the right forehead, then the left, and after folding the sweat towel….

 

‘It’s time to drink water, right?’

 

Capturing the timing, I handed him a water bottle.

 

“Have some water, hyung.”

 

‘Good timing.’

 

 I hadn’t interrupted his flow; Instead, I’d slipped into it as though I were part of his routine.

 

‘That was flawless, wasn’t it?’

 

His own water bottle was already nearly empty. Refusing my offer and going to get new water would be an act of breaking his own routine, so I figured he would accept the bottle I offered.

 

Sure enough, I saw Jegal Hwi take the water bottle from my hand. Then, without any preamble, he spoke.

 

“What is it you want to talk about?”

 

He looked at me with an attitude that said he knew I came for a reason and was willing to listen.

 

‘He’s quick on the uptake.’

 

Maybe he was bored, or maybe he just wanted to vent his own frustrations. Whatever it was, there was no reason to refuse. The ice had been broken.

 

“Just. I wanted to know what you think.”

 

“About what, specifically….”

 

“Everything. You can think of it as an extension of our conversation earlier. Like our double title tracks we heard today….”

 

“…….”

 

“And the current working method. When I asked you before practice started, you definitely said the production company would handle part distribution for these two songs… and that they’d handle the interpretation and concept too.”

 

“…….”

 

“And that does seem to be what’s happening, but I wanted to know how you feel now that we’re actually moving like this. I mean, it’s a bit different from how Idol Classism has been run so far, isn’t it?”

 

“…….”

 

“Do you think it’s okay to go on like this?”

 

Apparently, the topic I’d brought up had caught Jegal Hwi’s interest. After staring at me for a moment, he finally opened his mouth.

 

“Is there a problem?”

 

“No. Not exactly a problem.”

 

“Then, are you saying you want to produce the tracks yourself?”

 

“No. It’s not that either.”

 

“I, for one, don’t see what the problem is… I don’t know what you were hoping for by coming here… but isn’t this exactly the idol industry that we all understand and know?”

 

“Of course I know. I have a rough idea of how this business works overall. I was a trainee too….”

 

“Then you should know even better. How successful the other idols who debuted from Crown are—the ones who went through this exact process.”

 

“So your stance is that it doesn’t really matter?”

 

“I’d rather ask if there’s even a need to care. I don’t like overestimating myself. Some groups produce their own music, sure, but those are made under the full support of an agency too… So I think they’re still just becoming another part of the machine…. If anything, if you want to make the music you want to do, wouldn’t it be better to do something other than being an idol?”

 

“No. It’s not that I want to make my music. That’s not why I’m saying this to you. It’s a bit funny to say this before we’ve even debuted, but… just….”

 

‘I just don’t like it.’

 

I’d spent the last seven years living as nothing more than a cog in the machine, and now I had to live as one again.

 

‘Maybe that’s what I don’t like.’

 

It felt less like going on an adventure with Joo Wooyoung  and more like entering a suffocating, sightless laboratory with him. No, maybe I simply didn’t like Kang Hyuk. Or maybe I didn’t like the songs and I was just self-hypnotizing.

 

“No, actually, these are all thoughts anyone could have. Am I strange for thinking this way?”

 

“It’s not particularly strange. Other idol seniors must have gone through similar processes. In fact, it’s not unusual for experienced idols to gradually be given a little authority, and supporting their individual activities or the music they want to do is one of the things an agency does.”

 

“Isn’t that a story only for the successful seniors?”

 

“And you don’t think we have the best conditions to succeed? The buzz of Idol Classism, the fact that Crown seems to have a stake in this group, and a star composer bringing songs to produce us personally—these are unexpected circumstances….”

 

“So, hyung, do you believe this group will be successful?”

 

“Statistically, the probability of success is higher.”

 

“Then why do you look so displeased?”

 

“…….”

 

“You’ve been scowling since earlier as if you don’t like something.”

 

“…….”

 

“Is it the parts? Or….”

 

“…….”

 

“Do you think the songs are bad?”

 

“…….”

 

His expression didn’t change, but it looked as though I’d hit the nail on the head.

 

Just knowing that I wasn’t the only one doubting the massive capital made me feel a bit relieved. I wasn’t the only one who felt that these double titles were being over-packaged by a miraculous process and the star composer label.

 

In fact, it felt like I’d finally come to my senses after being dazzled by the flashy packaging. Of course, Jegal Hwi was just an ordinary trainee like me, but….

 

But the look on his face gave weight to my suspicions.

 

‘Our double title tracks… really are bad, aren’t they?’

 

You think so too, don’t you?

 

“You don’t have a good feeling about it either, do you, hyung?”

 

“What does my ‘feeling’ even matter?”

 

“I just want to hear your honest opinion.”

 

“As I said before, I’m not someone with an inflated ego. I don’t overestimate my own abilities, nor do I think my individual thoughts or judgments are better than the results put out by Crown.”

 

“Who says this is something Crown as a whole produced?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Exactly what I said. Who knows if that’s the company’s will or just Kang Hyuk’s will? Didn’t you see?”

 

“…….”

 

“Didn’t you see that man come in here and sweep through the place earlier? Those people who looked like his aides seemed busy just catering to his whims. He also seemed incredibly full of himself…. If someone who’s a famous producer, a star composer, and the company’s CEO says, ‘We’re going with this,’ how many people do you think are actually capable of saying no?”

 

“Even if that were true, the answer doesn’t change. Do you think you can guarantee your judgment is better than that of a producer, star composer, and the CEO of Crown?”

 

“No. I can’t guarantee it. Still… it’s not hard to judge if something is good or not. So, are Candy Star and Hey HEY Hey bad? Or good?”

 

“I don’t want to evaluate these things before we’ve even shown a proper performance….”

 

“That’s true, but….”

 

“…….”

 

“…….”

 

“If you really want to improve our chances of succeeding, we’d probably be better off spending this time practicing instead.”

 

“…….”

 

“…….”

 

He was right. 

 

Judging whether the songs were good or bad based solely on guide versions was ridiculous. A guide was just a guide. I could guarantee that once official recording and processing began, the songs would likely become completely different.

 

The choreography was the same. Considering the current choreography was trimmed down for a short preparation period….

 

‘There’s definitely still room for it to improve.’

 

It was obvious the final quality would be on an entirely different level from what we had now.

 

I turned my head again and felt Han Yohan and Kim Taeyeol staring at us. I’d been so absorbed in thinking about these double title tracks that I’d overlooked how strange it must have looked for Jegal Hwi and me to be talking for so long.

 

However….

 

‘Actually, it’s a good thing.’

 

In the eyes looking at me and Jegal Hwi with odd expressions, there was definitely a mix of jealousy or envy. It seemed they were also envious of the conversation taking place between trainees who were currently in the debut zone. After all, we’d just received what was essentially preferential treatment from Kang Hyuk, it would be strange if they weren’t fuming.

 

In fact, once practice resumed, everyone seemed even more fired up than before. Even No. 106, who had personal feelings against Jegal Hwi, was showing a good performance, and the other two members were more passionate than usual, seemingly thinking this was a chance to show a good image to a major agency like Crown.

 

Perhaps….

 

‘Even though we don’t have much time, I think this performance might actually turn out okay.’

 

Even if it wasn’t the best stage, we might be able to show a performance close to it.

 

“…….”

“…….”

“…….”

 

And so, a week passed.

 

Kang Hyuk’s Candy Star….

 

Had made its appearance in the world, and the trainees of Idol Classism had done their best to digest the songs graciously bestowed upon them by the Genius Composer.

 

Since we, the ones who performed them, couldn’t predict how it would look on broadcast, monitoring was an absolute necessity.

 

“It’s starting….”

 

Even Jegal Hwi, whose expressions rarely changed, was watching the small screen with a slightly anxious face.