Struggle Chapter 109

Taerok took off his own rain hat and placed it on Nanyoung, then headed toward the inner hall without a care for being rained on. On the way, seeing Sim Eung pacing and stamping his feet, he instructed him to bring warm water.

The moment they entered the inner hall, Taerok threw his rain gear outside and began by stripping off Nanyoung’s wet clothes and socks. Naturally, Taerok, who had ridden for several double-hours, must have been far more soaked, but he gave it not the slightest heed.

“You must wash….”

“Let us wash together.”

“There are watching eyes….”

“Do you still mind watching eyes? Having come all this way?”

Above all, in that short time, Nanyoung’s lips had turned bluish and were trembling.

In this place, winter came earlier and lingered longer to depart than where they were born. What would be an autumn rain in the lower regions was no different from a winter rain here.

The two, thoroughly drenched, stared at each other. Even in such cold, sparks seemed to crackle and fly from their gazes as if from a furnace. Taerok began to seriously ponder whether casting aside all shame and tumbling about with Nanyoung right here might be more helpful for warming their bodies.

Fortunately, as if cutting off that deliberation, Sim Eung’s voice was heard from outside.

“I will bring the water in.”

“Very well. Thank you. Draw the bath as well.”

Still not taking his eyes off Nanyoung, Taerok replied.

Only then could Nanyoung finally manage to turn his head away from that sticky, heated gaze.

Taerok, who had brought a brass basin from beyond the door, began by washing Nanyoung’s feet, soiled with muddy water. Watching Taerok kneel before him without any self-consciousness, Nanyoung loosened Taerok’s hair for him. Through the wet strands of hair that cascaded down, Taerok lifted his head, and Nanyoung saw his gaze fixed upon him.

“The falcons… did you catch them well?”

Here, twice a year, falcons were caught, raised, and then sent to the central falconry. This was in lieu of the lesser grain harvested due to the barren land. Taerok was an excellent falcon master and falconer.

“I brought three female falcons with the most resounding cries. Now we must raise them, and once their first hunt succeeds, send them off again.”

And sending them off, too, Taerok did personally.

Nanyoung felt a heaviness in his heart, as if it were because of him that Taerok was doing such work. There was no need for Taerok to do these things….

But if they had not come here, Nanyoung might have lost his brother, and Taerok, no matter how virtuous his governance, would have remained a sinner who could not wash away his disgrace.

One cannot have everything. One must be grateful not to have lost everything. Instead of saying he was sorry, Nanyoung cupped Taerok’s cheek and whispered.

“You have worked hard.”

With a soft laugh, Taerok meticulously washed Nanyoung’s other foot as well, then had him stand on a cotton cloth.

“It is far more enjoyable than being shut up in the palace, merely counting the empty days. And I am good at it.”

It was a comfort, as if he had read Nanyoung’s innermost thoughts.

Sincere or not, a warmth seemed to spread from the pit of his stomach.

“Now, let us go wash.”

Taerok took Nanyoung’s hand and drew him along.

This place had originally been the house of Seo Pilhak, who had several times declined the king’s summons under the pretext of ill health. It was Taerok who had moved Seo Pilhak’s heart. Saying that he, too, was leaving, so the king would be very lonely, and that the king needed someone to guide him as a wise ruler. At the words asking him to take that role, Seo Pilhak ultimately moved his residence to the capital, and the remaining house, after repairs, became the home of the two when Nanyoung entered in the dead of night after Taerok arrived.

Taerok had put great effort into renovating the house. Without waste, yet secretly, so that secrets could not carelessly leak out, he cultivated it. The bathhouse where the two often washed together was especially so.

The house, where cold winds blew for half the year and harsh northern gales with blizzards raged in winter, was sealed on all sides to be kept as warm as possible. The bathhouse was newly built in the innermost part, behind layer upon layer of walls, so that one could come and go directly from the inner hall, and the steps were made difficult to see. Thus, Nanyoung could accompany Taerok to the bathhouse without concern for others’ eyes.

“The thing Sim Eung does best—do you know what it is?”

As soon as they entered the bathhouse, Taerok asked while removing his wet outer robe.

“Sim Eung is good at everything, though?”

“That is because you, Nanyoung, have never met Yu Bongsu. Yu Bongsu was truly good at everything.”

Taerok and Nanyoung subtly compared their people.

“But there was one thing Yu Bongsu could not do: he always made the water a little too hot. However, Sim Eung, like this….”

Taerok lifted Nanyoung up and immersed him in the bath. The wet fabric slapped and clung to Nanyoung’s body, still wearing his under-trousers and under-jacket. Though gaunt from his innate constitution, he was not unsightly; the lines of his body, long and slender like an orchid, were revealed fully. Narrowing his eyes, Taerok murmured.

“He prepares the water just right for getting straight in like this.”

Nanyoung shivered at the warmth that gently relaxed his entire body.

Unlike Nanyoung, Taerok, having chuckled softly, entered the bath fully bare.

What troubled Nanyoung most was undoubtedly catching colds, so Taerok would only let him remove his underclothes once they were in the bath and his body had warmed. Taerok approached and unfastened Nanyoung’s jacket. Over Taerok’s firm flesh, steam rose thickly. Nanyoung unknowingly gulped down his saliva. Whether he noticed or not, Taerok was simply focused entirely on untying the coat strings.

“My nephew, when you are left clothed, you appear all the more provocative, so I deeply ponder whether I should have you undressed and left that way.”

“…I am not a beast; how could I go about undressed.”

“Having wrecked duty, common sense, and heaven’s law all together with me, do you still concern yourself with such things? Having come all this way?”

The sound of the wind moaning beyond the layered lattice doors repeated, rising and falling. The Frost Descent, when hoarfrost would at last form, was just around the corner. While others would see frost, here they would see snow; and with no one to go outside, spending the long winter on the ondol-heated floor, what harm would it be to go about a little undressed?

“Even so… I do not wish to cast that aside as well.”

Stubborn and upright nephew.

Taerok swallowed a sigh at the hand that wrapped around his own. Not out of frustration or pity, but because, apologetically toward his upright nephew, it aroused him.

“Let me see how much you suffered outdoors for three days. Your hands are very chapped. Keep them submerged in the water.”

Peeling that hand away, Taerok suppressed his lust and finished undressing him.

By now they must have seen each other’s naked bodies a hundred times. Especially last winter, after reuniting, for days on end, the moment they opened their eyes, they coupled like beasts without going outside. When Nanyoung, weak of body, fell asleep saying he could do no more, Taerok would tell him to rest, that he would manage himself, and continued the carnal acts. Yet even so, Nanyoung was still shy.

But what was different now was that, instead of covering his body with his arms, he promptly turned around and sat between Taerok’s legs, pressing his back against Taerok’s chest.

Then, though he could not be seen, Taerok’s torment deepened. Resting his arm on the edge of the bath and propping his head, Taerok closed his eyes and shamelessly recited a sutra. It was something he had unknowingly memorized because there were still many temples remaining here and many Buddhists.

“Next time, I want to go with you to catch the falcons.”

“Did I not tell you how falcons are caught? You must descend to a nest at the edge of a cliff and bring them back. How could my nephew possibly do such a thing.”

Taerok was a man very soft toward Nanyoung, yet when it came to what was not allowed, he drew a clear line. Even if it hurt Nanyoung in doing so, he did not hesitate. By nature, children must get a little hurt to learn caution and know fear.

“Still, you know well that I feed the young falcons well and form a close bond with them.”

“Falcons have no need for bonds. They are ones to be sent off once they reach maturity, so if you grow attached for nothing and cannot send them away, that indeed would be a wrongdoing.”

“…”

“And do not even think of naming them.”

This past spring, eight falcons were sent to the capital falconry. Nanyoung was particularly fond of one among them, and had even secretly named it, only to be deeply upset on the day of its departure, and was caught by Taerok. He had surely been sternly admonished by Taerok then, too.