Struggle Chapter 108

Sim Eung was waving a letter in his hand. Thanks to having told people that a noble young master had come for a recuperative stay, the local magistrate and others were accommodating Nanyoung’s comfort. Receiving letters at the licensed falconry, permitted because this was the northern region, was one of those accommodations.

Nanyoung, who had been crouching and gazing at the chrysanthemums in their last full bloom before winter set in, lifted his head. Rising slowly, he watched Sim Eung’s dash with concern, noting the slight limp he had developed since the ship accident. Yet Sim Eung’s expression was so flushed that even that discomfort could not stop him.

“You—ung—mas—ter!”

Sim Eung, who had quickly adapted from calling him “Your Highness” to “Young master,” ran to Nanyoung bearing the news he had waited and waited for. He ran to his still-dear Grand Prince Jaga, to the sinner whose filthiest, most hideous, most depraved sight in the world had become a form more beautiful than paradise.

As Nanyoung unfolded the letter, his calm and considerably more mature expression gradually brightened. A light like warm, gentle spring sunshine emanated from his face.

A harsh winter was coming, but Nanyoung was warm. For his spring was coming. Even when winter arrived, flowers would bloom for him, and even if it were hell, he would not be lonely.

As if grasping someone’s thumb, Nanyoung’s hand holding the letter trembled faintly.

∞ ∞ ∞

Grand Prince Heonui passed away at the youthful age of twenty from complications following a ship accident. The princely household he had used was turned into a place to care for the sick commonfolk and to house poor scholars. It was said to have been at the petition of Grand Prince Baegan, the uncle of Grand Prince Heonui.

After three marriage negotiations ended in failure, Grand Prince Baegan did not remarry and lived alone. It is said that he, who had cherished Grand Prince Heonui deeply, was greatly grief-stricken after Grand Prince Heonui’s death. After Gwonjong—who would later be invested as Crown Prince—was born to his nephew Mukjong, he departed for the northern frontier with the king’s permission and devoted himself to stabilizing the northern regions.

It is recorded that he lived alone for the rest of his life, but there is also a theory that, in the northern princely household where Grand Prince Baegan Lee Taerok resided, he taught and raised someone who resembled Grand Prince Heonui until his death, like a child, like a disciple.

However, this is merely an oral rumor, unrecorded even in unofficial histories.

∞ ∞ ∞

The weather is exceedingly cold. The wind is unusual. Having come up north, the temperature of daily life has changed. Listening to the sound of the wind blowing with a low moan between the fiercely rising mountain ridges, Taerok picked up a hand warmer filled with heated water and went inside.

The princely household newly rebuilt in the north was different from the place he had resided in the capital. It was built enclosed in a square to prevent the wind from entering, blocking winter from reaching the interior. As if that were not enough, Taerok had chosen the inner building to be further inside, and the inner room to be a deeply recessed private chamber. One had to go inside the walls, as if into a secret. Taerok, holding the warm hand warmer, headed for the inner room.

With far fewer people kept and most of the retainers reassigned to frontier defense, the house was quiet. Though not entirely devoid of people, an atmosphere like a tranquil water’s surface flowed. The inner room was the same. Even with someone there, that place was silent.

Even as he entered, Taerok held the hand warmer in his arms lest it cool. When he quietly slid open the door and entered, he saw a back, peacefully breathing in sleep. He gazed at it tenderly, then firmly shut the door and approached quietly.

“Are you asleep.”

He asked, but with no intent to wake him, so he whispered. The other did not wake. He was not normally a heavy sleeper, but since coming here and reuniting, Nanyoung always slept deeply and woke naturally when the sun rose. It was the same for Taerok.

“Are you cold anywhere, or uncomfortable?”

Instead of an answer, Nanyoung turned over. The faint smile that flickered across his face was childlike. Taerok smiled quietly and pushed the hand warmer under the covers. As if layering the window paper in multiple sheets to block the cold were still not enough.

Following the warm water, Nanyoung, even in his sleep, held tightly to the object now also imbued with Taerok’s warmth. He let out a low sigh, as if satisfied. At that sound, Taerok felt as if he, too, would melt.

He lifted the covers and went inside. With the hand warmer between them, he abruptly pulled Nanyoung into his arms. Then that child, too, embraced Taerok in return.

Outside, the north wind moaned low, but that sound could not reach this far. No sound would be able to cross the walls and pierce through the window paper. If this place were hell, then to Taerok, hell would be another word meaning peace and warmth.

He, too, closed his eyes and slept. There was not even a need to dream. For everything was already complete.

∞ ∞ ∞

Three days had passed since Taerok left to capture a falcon. Under normal circumstances, three days having passed, he ought to have returned today, but it seemed a sudden heavy rain had detained him. On such days, it was not easy to send a falcon or dispatch a person to relay the situation, so there was no choice but to wait endlessly.

Nanyoung sat on the narrow wooden veranda, killing time by counting the drops of water falling into the puddles. In truth, he was killing his anxiety. Unaware of the heart burning with impatience inside him, the rain fell heartlessly. Before he could even count one raindrop, another fell, making even the counting overwhelming.

“Young master, why not come inside and wait.”

The voice of Sim Eung—who had grown markedly weaker after the accident, then, after coming here, had returned to the Sim Eung Nanyoung had known—was heard urging from inside.

“Good news will be heard soon. If you stay out there, you will catch a cold.”

It was the voice of one worried for Nanyoung, who fell ill as if by promise every time the seasons changed.

At those words, Nanyoung, too, reluctantly rose in the end. Yes, Uncle would surely return; he could not very well greet him lying ill in bed. As Nanyoung trudged in listlessly, his ears suddenly perked up.

“Young master?”

When the footsteps stopped and he looked back, Sim Eung saw Nanyoung, his head turned, staring fixedly somewhere.

Soon, Nanyoung ran with pattering steps, his shoes on the wrong feet, and dashed out into the courtyard.

“Oh dear, Young master!”

Before Nanyoung could even reach the tall main gate, a voice shouting “Open up!” was heard from outside. Before the servant could come, Nanyoung flung open the gate, and a horse was seen rearing its hooves with a whinny.

“Lee Nanyoung!”

Taerok, equipped with a rain hat and full rain gear, saw Nanyoung standing precariously and sparks flew from his eyes.

“Dangerous!”

As if utterly unafraid of the horse that had just bolted upright, Taerok leaped down in one motion and pulled Nanyoung into his arms.

The captain of the retainers, who had given up worldly advancement and come all this way with solely a heart of respect, hurriedly snatched the reins and turned the horse’s head.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Startled, Nanyoung apologized with wide, round eyes.

Taerok’s rain hat covered Nanyoung’s head and shoulders as well. If he had been wearing that heavy thing, Nanyoung would have collapsed from the weight, not the rain. But because Taerok was blocking both the weight and the rain, Nanyoung had all the strength he needed to embrace Taerok.

“Send all the horses to the stable, and the rest of you, rest now.”

“Yes, Jaga.”

The retainers, pretending not to see Nanyoung, moved through the drizzling rain.

Grand Prince Heonui Lee Nanyoung was a dead being. Therefore, the Nanyoung here had to be someone to whom they need not offer formal courtesies. The tight-lipped retainers, who shared in the capital offense of their master, were living by their wits. Amidst that, Nanyoung, too, was living together with Taerok, as a young nobleman of weak constitution who had evacuated here to recuperate.

It had already been a year.

One year. It was still an awkward time to be held in his uncle’s arms in front of others. Though he had impulsively embraced him out of joy, Nanyoung, quickly coming to his senses, tried to shyly loosen his wrapped arms. But Taerok firmly held those arms, preventing him from escaping.

“Your socks are soiled, your hair is soaked through, what a state this is.”

“I heard the sound of you coming, Uncle….”

“You should have trusted that I would come in due course and waited.”

“But it was the third day…. Usually, you return after two days and a night… I was worried.”

“You must trust that whatever happens, I will come to my nephew’s side. Surely you did not think I would depart alone.”

Both Taerok and Nanyoung had forsaken great masses of things for each other. But Taerok knew that Nanyoung, who had thrown away even his birth and family, had to abandon far more than the mass that Taerok had brought about purely through his own greed. Both were sinners, but compared solely as lovers, Taerok bore the greater debt.