Struggle Chapter 14

Truly, it was fine. Seeing Nanyoung already fluttering with excitement, his cheeks flushing, whatever he brought would surely be something like seasonal tribute ingredients or fruit. The things Nanyoung—who, despite being a Grand Prince, favored items so plain they bordered on shabby—would carefully set aside and hand over were always, to Taerok, unfathomably puzzling and ambiguous.

“…It’ll be heavy, so just come empty-handed.”

“…”

Seeing no reply, it seemed he was going to be stubborn again.

Before he knew it, Taerok had come to know Nanyoung quite well. Taerok turned his body with an attitude of suit yourself. Then he personally hoisted the organized quiver onto his shoulder.

“Practice every day. I don’t know about the sword, but with the bow, you must at least shoot passably well as a Grand Prince.”

“Yes!”

“…What on earth have I done.”

“Yet His Young Highness the Grand Prince seems overjoyed, as if he could fly. You are a good uncle, after all.”

“You, really shut that mouth. Your own tongue might just strangle the life out of you.”

“Why do you so harshly disparage my loyalty? Still, the Young Grand Prince is truly endearing, so I understand him.”

“You ramble on tediously. There are two Grand Princes, so I can’t tell who you’re referring to.”

Playing innocent, are we. Saon let out a sly grin.

“And watch your tongue. Even if he’s young, he is His Majesty’s legitimate son and a Grand Prince. He’s not someone to be babbled about carelessly, calling him cute or whatnot.”

Once invested as a prince, one receives the proper treatment of a royal relative. From an early age, one is separated from one’s parents and resides in a dwelling that takes a long while to reach even at a run. Whether a Grand Prince or a prince, one is from birth a singular, complete being, and at the same time, an eternally inseparable, subordinated link.

“To be too endearing, too deeply cherished, or too outstanding—none of that is permitted for a Grand Prince.”

Even if one were to stand tall on one’s own, those around would not leave one be.

“What do they say about the Crown Prince?”

“They say he closely resembles His Majesty and is virtuous. However…”

“However, what.”

Saon leaned in and whispered.

“He is on good terms with the princess, but it seems he is somewhat awkward with Young Lord Heonui.”

“…”

Taerok abruptly raised his head. The raised dragon heads at the ends of the high palace eaves gaped their jaws as if to devour the fading sunset. The hip rafters, sitting plumply along the ridges above them, seemed to stare on—whether intent on driving out malevolent things or observing the foolish ways of the people on the ground, one could not tell.

“The Crown Prince and a Grand Prince are originally that kind of relationship.”

A relationship where one side inevitably becomes uncomfortable. Isn’t that the way of it? Between the king and himself, he was probably the uncomfortable one.

Taerok attached no personal opinion and changed the subject.

“It’s raining.”

“Oh dear. So it is. Let us return quickly, sir.”

He did not hasten his steps. An umbrella made of sedge and tough, oiled paper was an extremely precious thing. Taerok snapped at Saon, asking what did it matter if he got a bit wet.

But there would be those for whom getting even a bit of rain was a grave matter. As Taerok helplessly became soaked by the summer shower rapidly gaining weight and pouring down fiercely, at the end of his inadvertently turned gaze, he saw Nanyoung quietly watching the droplets falling from the eaves. Nanyoung, hiding his body—which would undoubtedly fall ill if even slightly drenched—under the palace eaves, waiting, having failed to fetch an umbrella or oilcloth in time.

“…”

The gazes of Taerok, who was frowning and merely holding his hand over his official hat to keep his vision clear, and Nanyoung, who was barely wet, intertwined.

“Uncle.”

Nanyoung quietly called, cupping his hands beside his lips.

“It is raining heavily. Please wait for it to stop before you go.”

Even hearing this, Taerok did not reply. Fearing his uncle might not have heard his voice, Nanyoung took a deep breath. Afraid Nanyoung would call out to him even louder, Taerok coldly turned his head and, with his wide stride, quickly grew distant.

“It seems fine to wait for the rain to stop, so why do you hurry so impatiently?”

“I dislike the palace.”

“Someone born and raised here saying such a…”

…ridiculous thing.

But Saon’s voice was buried. A clap of thunder, Urrr-rrrumble BOOM, resounded, shaking heaven and earth. It was so loud the very ground seemed to tremble.

“A dragon ascends to heaven…”

“Do not utter such words privately.”

Taerok snapped. The thunder was great enough to make one wonder if a dragon was ascending to heaven. But a dragon dwells within this palace. Within the palace grounds, there must only be one dragon. So do not speak of dragons within these walls.

Even as he said this, he was looking back.

Nanyoung, who could never become either the Crown Prince with three claws or, even more so, the King with four claws, was huddled. A eunuch was embracing and soothing him. Though Taerok knew Nanyoung would soon shake it off and stand up with composure, he found himself moving his feet before he knew it.

“What use is it to be so frightened of mere thunder, not even a monster?”

Nanyoung had not even heard him coming; moreover, Taerok had been far away, so when he appeared before him, Nanyoung at first thought he was a specter. At the distant stare, Taerok clicked his tongue, Tsk, and took hold of Nanyoung’s shoulders to make him stand upright.

“It seems the rain shower is about to grow severe. At this rate, even my horse might be startled and throw me, so may I stay briefly at your residence, nephew, before leaving?”

“…Of, of course. Uncle, certainly. Falling from a horse would be terrible…”

Coincidentally, had Taerok’s first betrothed not passed away from a fall from a horse? Taerok had not spoken with that in mind, but Nanyoung, who had only recently learned the reason why his uncle was still alone after persistent questioning, felt his heart grow desolate.

Soon, a young eunuch who had borrowed an umbrella came running. Taerok took the hand that was tottering unsteadily and held it himself. It was not made of oiled paper but of oiled cloth, and so it was exceedingly heavy.

As Taerok moved his feet, Nanyoung finally moved his as well. Taerok lacked the delicacy to match a child’s stride, so no matter how Nanyoung chased after him, he ended up walking somewhat behind. The hem of his uncle’s clothes, seen from a little behind, was already deeply soaked, and his shoes left footprints on every stone of the path. Nanyoung cautiously walked beside those wet footprints, gauging the size of the feet.

Everyone said it would be difficult to become like uncle. Then whom should I follow? Which man should I take as my ideal? Nanyoung found it hard to give up. Because no matter how he looked, no matter how thoroughly he searched within this palace, within Nanyoung’s world, the only man who seemed the ideal, the most likely to be resembled, was his uncle, Lee Taerok.

He even envied the size of his feet…

“Nephew.”

At a distance of a stride and a half that had opened up before he knew it, Taerok turned back and was calling him. Having sensed the emptiness beside him, he had discovered that Nanyoung had fallen behind. His shoulder was wet, rendering useless the shelter more luxurious than the umbrella the young eunuch had painstakingly borrowed.

Taerok clicked his tongue, Tsk, and came back. Then he took Nanyoung’s hand and pulled him tightly to his side. It was a hand that neither his mother nor his father had held since his investiture. Since being told, Now you must become a proper Grand Prince, Nanyoung had been forced to become a royal relative without any preparation.

The hand someone held for him after so long was very large and firm. It did not resemble any hand that had held his until now.

As soon as Nanyoung matched his stride, Taerok released his hand.

“If it’s difficult, tell me. Or else, use that discontented habit of yours and tug at my hem, as you always do.”

Nanyoung answered, Yes.

His uncle’s pace, which just moments ago had been hard to follow even when panting, was now quite manageable. Taerok had slowed his steps for him. Taerok considered it a truly bothersome and annoying task. Weren’t all the underlings following behind getting completely drenched in the rain? If he matched the child’s pace, it would be the end of the day before they reached the residence. In the end, Taerok chose what he thought was the most efficient method. He picked Nanyoung up in his arms. It was the first time since the summer when Nanyoung was six. It had been exactly two years.

“How inconvenient it is to be a Grand Prince. At times like this, one cannot even run.”

“…The scholar-gentry say that one must not be impatient and should not run, acting rashly and frivolously.”

“But even those haughty scholar-gentry would run when they urgently need the privy, or when the rain falls like this.”

“Surely not… I have never once seen my maternal grandfather run.”