Struggle Chapter 20

Ashamed of the emotion he was feeling, Nanyoung could not bring himself to lift his head. Taerok called Nanyoung once more.

“Nanyoung.”

Taerok thought this situation was a little amusing. Was it not? If the relationship, age, and gender of the two were quite different, wouldn’t he look like a man leaving his lover behind to pledge eternity with his betrothed? It was a foolish thought. Taerok admitted that, when it came to Nanyoung, he often became unlike himself.

“Lee Nanyoung.”

“Ye-es…”

Nanyoung answered in a voice that was trailing away. Taerok propped his elbow on Nanyoung’s tea table and leaned his body forward.

“How could a bond of nature, a blood tie, ever be severed by something like a marriage? I’m a little disappointed that you thought I would never see you, nephew, again because of such a thing.”

Only then did Nanyoung raise his head. Sadness was brimming in his large eyes. Taerok realized that Nanyoung’s pupils, which he had thought were only big because he was young, were still large. In those eyes, just as once before, his own figure was wholly reflected.

“Do you really think I wouldn’t come to see you?”

It was something said to tease and comfort Nanyoung. Yet even so, Taerok was inwardly scoffing as well. He too had never even considered not seeing Nanyoung.

“…No, sir. But still, I don’t want to become a burden to you, uncle.”

“I don’t consider you a burden. Is it that you, nephew, will come to see me as a burden once I’m married?”

Nanyoung shook his head urgently. The smile Taerok showed him was so gentle that it made one unable to recall the time when the two had first met.

“Then shall we make a promise?”

“A promise?”

“Yes. We’ll make a promise. No matter how bothersome it becomes.”

At this, Nanyoung furrowed his brow as if to say such a thing would never happen. Taerok laughed quietly in his throat.

“Even if we quarrel or grow to dislike each other, we will never say that we should never see each other again, nor will we disappear.”

What kind of childish talk is this? Taerok mocked himself even as he murmured. Somehow it felt like coaxing an innocent child. Even though he wasn’t saying anything harmful.

“Because you never know what may happen in the affairs of the world.”

Nanyoung looked into the ink-black pupils staring intently at him and nodded.

The answer was already decided. From the moment Taerok asked, Nanyoung’s answer had long been inclined, with no room to waver.

To the nodding Nanyoung, Taerok held out his little finger.

“It’s a pinky swear. I’ve seen common folk make promises in this manner.”

This, too, was something Taerok taught him for the first time. If not for Taerok, he would have neither known of such a thing nor been able to do it. Nanyoung smiled quietly and held out his little finger, which was far smaller and slender than Taerok’s. The two fingers intertwined.

Before the betrothal box containing the red thread and blue thread that would intertwine as firmly as those linked fingers, Taerok bowed. Soon the betrothal box was transferred to Taerok. Holding the box, Taerok came to Nanyoung. It was the step where Nanyoung was to receive it.

“…”

Towering far above him, Taerok looked down silently at Nanyoung for a moment, then held out the box.

Inside the box was not only the red and blue thread but also the marriage paper. It was the paper on which the horoscopes of the two people soon to become husband and wife were written. Just as Nanyoung could not see beyond the lid decorated with mandarin duck carvings, he did not know what was inside the box. He simply shivered faintly when Taerok’s fingers slid out from his palm as he received it. For Taerok’s hand was far rougher compared to his own.

The betrothal box passed from Nanyoung’s hands to the steward who managed the residence where Taerok stayed. The steward placed the betrothal box on a high-legged table.

This was the end. This was all. Now Taerok had to go to the house of the one who would become his wife. Taerok mounted his horse first, and Nanyoung mounted his horse behind him. Taerok’s seated back was hard and cold. Without seeing his eyes, one could never know what on earth Taerok was thinking at this moment.

Staring blankly at that back, Nanyoung suddenly thought:

‘He seems like a stranger, someone far away.’

Had he been secretly elated, thinking he was the person closest to uncle in the palace? Was the bitterness he felt as great as his pride had been? Repeating to himself that this was all his own fault, a lesson for not being humble enough in daily life, Nanyoung gripped the reins tightly.

They arrived at Min Nanok’s house. The procedures of the napchae ceremony proceeded. Nanyoung had to observe the entire napchae process and report the results. In a trembling voice, Nanyoung recited the role he had to perform in this wedding ceremony and the results accordingly.

If only this were everything, but it was just the beginning. The gifts sent by the royal family had to be delivered, and after going back and forth between each other’s houses several times, Taerok had to present a wild goose and seek conjugal harmony.

It was dauntingly endless. Nanyoung felt faint. It was too long a journey for Nanyoung to endure. Only then did Nanyoung feel he understood, just a little, why Taerok had said he was still young.

Of course, it wasn’t merely because of these cumbersome procedures that Taerok had called him young.

Perhaps the reason Taerok said You are too young was because of the dongroe ceremony.

Dark night fell. Ten torchbearers holding torches lit the streets. Two escort commanders wearing black ceremonial robes and swords guarded the way along with ten lead guards. Besides them, many other people escorted this path. It was the road returning from the bride’s family home to Inheon Palace, where Taerok lived.

Taerok wore a bokdu official hat and official attire. His expression as he rode his horse was so cold it was hard to see him as a newlywed groom.

The procession of the bride following behind was double in number. Taerok slowly shifted his gaze sideways and downwards to look at his young nephew, who accompanied him in the role of officiant and who had acted as envoy throughout the day.

‘He’s going to collapse sick.’

It had been a long journey. Even Taerok was somewhat tired. The reason Taerok was tired was likely more mental fatigue than physical, but Nanyoung’s body would surely be worn out.

Taerok rubbed his chin. He could not imagine Nanyoung managing this process at all. He could easily picture Nanyoung nodding off on horseback. At that, a wry, scoffing laugh emerged. It suddenly occurred to him that this was the first laughter he had let out today.

At last arriving at Inheon Palace, Taerok dismounted. Because of the proceedings ahead, the procession grew busier even though the night was late. Amidst the bustle and hurry, the night deepened. Trying to be diligent in his own way, but moving noticeably sluggishly in the eyes of others, Nanyoung was dismounting from his horse.

“Nephew.”

Taerok caught him and lifted him right down. Nanyoung’s startled eyes widened.

“You have worked hard.”

“Ah… uncle. Congratulations on your marriage.”

“Return home now.”

Taerok spoke in a rather stern voice. The congratulatory words were cut short.

“Return home. From now on, there is nothing for you, nephew, to do.”

Somehow it felt as if Taerok was driving him away… Flustered, Nanyoung ended up hiccuping. Fatigue and the cold were also to blame.

“Let us meet tomorrow.”

Taerok pushed Nanyoung away. Nanyoung was pushed back before he knew it. At a single glance from Taerok, one of the accompanying senior officials took Nanyoung away. Not even knowing who was taking him, Nanyoung kept looking back over his shoulder, but amidst the flickering torches and darkness, he could not even properly see Taerok’s shadow.

The sensation of growing distant… was vivid. Nanyoung somehow wanted to cry. The very young and simple heart that did not want to lose what it liked was, at times, honest to a degree that surprised even oneself.

∞ ∞ ∞

Taerok entered the inner chamber. Inside, Nanok was already there. Taerok went to his place. Nanok first bowed twice, and Taerok returned the bow.

“Bring it in.”

At Taerok’s voice, a servant entered and set up the drinking place. The unity wine was poured, rippling, into jade cups.

They were to drink three times in this manner, and the servant was to remain in attendance the entire time. But the servant, flustered by the sight of the couple who did not stir in the slightest, could not even lift his head.

“You may leave.”

“Sir.”

“I will handle it myself, so either hide somewhere and pass the time, or leave, I said.”

At the voice, frozen blue, the servant fled in terror.

The moment he stood with his back against the sliding paper door, the thought that rushed into the servant’s head was the sudden surge of fear: Is this marriage truly alright?

But beyond the sliding paper door, inside the inner chamber, the couple was utterly unperturbed. The two, who resembled each other inwardly rather than outwardly, sat wordlessly, each with their cup before them.

A long while later, Taerok began to speak.

“I heard that it was you, madam, who spoke of collecting horoscopes for the wife of Grand Prince Heonui.”

“…”

“Because of that, I ended up hastening the marriage I had been postponing. What a predicament.”