Struggle Chapter 85

“There could be someone else. How many people are there in this vast world…!”

Yu Bongsu smiled bitterly. Then he shook his head.

“No. It is only him.”

“Then you would offer up my master? How can you say such a thing to me! Sir, I will pretend I did not hear this.”

“Did I tell you to offer him up?”

“How is it any different from that?”

Sim Eung ground his teeth, thinking of Nanyoung.

He had watched him since he was little. The young Nanyoung who would not take his hands off Sim Eung’s clothes, who would first hide behind him whenever he saw a stranger. He had thought that people inevitably changed as they grew, but through Nanyoung, he learned that some corners of a person never changed. His smiling face was the same, the way he was often ill and one couldn’t take one’s eyes off him was the same, even his tenderhearted nature and the way he kept everything bottled up inside—all of it was the same.

How could he offer him up to that cold-blooded man, one who, had he not been a Grand Prince, could have become a villain of the age commanding the world itself?

“Who said anything about offering him up outright?”

Yu Bongsu clicked his tongue.

“I am merely saying, just as you did this time, secretly take out the bedding, and if ever a door is left open, shut it fast and keep people from wandering near, and close your eyes, shut your ears, and seal your lips.”

“…”

“How is that any different from what you have done until now? That is what a eunuch does by his very nature; how is it any different?”

“…If it is something our young master does not wish.”

“Sim Eung, I told you, did I not.”

Yu Bongsu gripped Sim Eung’s neck firmly and pulled him close, speaking sternly.

“Serving the master you attend is a matter of course, and holding loyalty toward His Majesty the King is a matter of duty.”

It was nothing but wordplay. Yet Sim Eung knew all too well how different the weight of those two things was. To him, his eyes shut tight, Yu Bongsu pleaded. It was a plea. The sincerity he had not recognized when looking at him face-to-face was now conveyed in its entirety, heard only through his voice.

“I will bear this punishment as well. I will not let you shoulder alone the penalty that must someday be faced. So, Sim Eung….”

In any case… in any case, Sim Eung had been of the same mind. It was not only Lee Taerok who would be soiled. Nanyoung, too, would be soiled; it was a scandal that would cast him down to the very bottom. The kind that he dared not even imagine, too terrified to entertain in his mind….

“…I shall do only what is for the sake of my Grand Prince, young master.”

That answer was enough for Yu Bongsu, and he released Sim Eung’s nape.

“So shall I.”

He, too, replied in a voice empty and bitter.

∞ ∞ ∞

Having returned, Taerok washed his body with cold water that had not even been heated and came back to his room. Saon, who had been pacing outside the small private quarters waiting for Taerok, promptly followed him in.

“Where have you been? No—the private quarters are on fire and its master suddenly vanishes, I mean really….”

Even at Saon’s scolding, Taerok merely lifted his eyes languidly before closing them again, that serving as his answer. He fastened his coat strings and headed toward the armrest, collapsing heavily onto it.

On Taerok’s chest, inside his still unfastened jacket, Saon discovered the nail marks Nanyoung had left behind.

“…You said you went out in a hurry—did you go to see a hidden concubine? When exactly do you plan to tell me who it is? This is the first time you’ve kept someone so tightly hidden and gone to see her all alone.”

“…”

“Yes, I have been aware. I know you’ve been directing your heart elsewhere, and I know that elsewhere is a person. It’s both fascinating that you, who never gave anyone so much as a glance, are behaving this way, and as your friend I’m glad, but now I’d like to hear it. Who in the world is it, that on the eve of a great undertaking—and even leaving a burning house behind—you go to see her?”

Taerok tightened his coat strings and closed his jacket. Yet if one looked closely, one could see nail marks left with exquisite precision just where the collar of the nape would cover them.

Did she know the collar would touch there and so left marks only that far? Saon was dying of curiosity whether Taerok’s secret lover was clever, or whether she instinctively guarded herself, or if it was merely coincidence. He needed to know, in any case, so that should that lover become a variable, he could deal with it.

Seeing no sign that Taerok would answer, Saon changed his plan, deciding to circle around and gently tease the answer out of him.

“I know that once you begin, you don’t easily finish—surely you didn’t leave your beloved bedridden?”

Saon asked, half to probe, half out of genuine concern.

“She’s the one who collapses before I finish, so there’s no need for that either.”

At last, he speaks.

Taerok had answered with such sincerity to what Saon had merely tossed out as bait that Saon was a little taken aback. It was because Taerok’s tone genuinely carried dissatisfaction and regret. Didn’t it sound as if he were grumbling that his lover wouldn’t spare him a glance?

Had he truly formed a deep attachment…? He had never done so before.

As Saon recalled, contrary to his innate virility, his carnal desires themselves were not strong, so he had always gone about it as if handling a necessary task. Yet the air about him, the lewd scent that lingered even after washing—they were distinctly different from usual.

“Her body must be frail.”

Saon quietly took a seat, drew his knees closer, and asked.

“It is not a woman.”

At Saon’s question, Taerok answered calmly. At this wholly unexpected reply, Saon’s eyes went round.

“Though they seem weaker than a woman.”

In any case, they were certainly weaker than Min Nanok. Though she had played the part of a Grand Prince consort bedridden with illness, in truth she had been a person who never so much as caught a cold.

“Who is it? The one who made you, who wouldn’t even glance at a man, fall for them.”

“Why. Are you curious?”

“Frankly, I’m immensely curious.”

“In that case, as a friend, let me advise you: set aside your curiosity. If you value your life.”

“I do value my life, but what am I to do about my nature, which is every bit as intensely curious?”

It was precisely this shameless attitude that had kept Saon by Taerok’s side all this time.

Yet even for a close confidant, Taerok had no intention of chattering about his relationship with Nanyoung. It was a relationship that could not be carelessly spoken of, no matter how thoroughly one prepared. He had told Nanyoung he could tell the world, but Taerok knew all too well that the moment it was revealed, Lee Nanyoung could be taken from him. Especially after dreaming of his brother the late king, that had become even clearer.

Saon, realizing that Taerok had absolutely no intention of telling him, clicked his tongue awkwardly.

“Still, I am relieved you’ve returned, at least.”

Saon grinned with his usual affable cheer. Instead of answering, Taerok merely tapped idly at a nearby orchid leaf.

“I examined the ondol in the meantime. It shouldn’t have collapsed all of a sudden. This is a palace built with extraordinary care, from the foundation up to the roof tiles, the eaves, and the decorative figurines, by master builders and numerous craftsmen.”

“So. Do you think someone knocked a stone loose on purpose?”

“There’s no rule saying it couldn’t be so, is there?”

It would have to be someone who had earned a great deal of resentment from the Grand Prince, of course…. Saon muttered.

Even if Saon’s guess was correct or plausible—meaning someone had targeted his life—Taerok was unruffled. Perhaps it was because his heart had been steeled over the course of that stormy night. Even if someone had aimed for his life, Taerok was confident he would not be devoured but would swallow them instead. And to do that….

Taerok languidly opened his eyes and called to Saon.

“Saon.”

“Yes, my lord.”

Rubbing the orchid leaf, Taerok paused briefly.

“Is it that you wish to see me become king, or do you wish to see the meritorious houses crushed?”

“Pardon…?”

“If you mean to achieve what you desire through me, you must know clearly what it is you desire, don’t you think?”

Taerok’s fingertips were growing paler. Strength was entering them. The precious orchid—one that had bloomed for the first time this year, no less—had its leaf bending. Saon looked back and forth between it and Taerok. Was he in a good mood or a bad one? It was wholly impossible to tell. Only one thing was clear: through the open window, he was staring steadily at the grand private quarters he had come from.

“I….”

Saon hesitated, then clenched his fist and asked in return.

“Then what is it that you desire, my lord, that you keep those with dark intentions, myself included, around you?”

“…”

“When you keep those who seek to achieve something through you, does that not mean you, too, desire something from them? I had thought you intended to expel the meritorious houses and set the feeble royal authority aright….”

“That is so.”

Taerok murmured.