Charles and Richard Chapter 10

Richard’s father said nothing. Richard’s mother had said she would think about it, but she never brought the subject up again. Richard couldn’t say anything either. That was because after that day, he wasn’t able to see his parents until the vacation ended.

Richard grew despondent and went to school with a beanie pulled over his head. (At school, the teacher pointed out that he should take his hat off, so he had to remove it right away.) After French class that day, Richard stopped by the repair shop. He sat down next to the twenty-one-year-old mechanic who fixed the cars and grumbled. The mechanic looked at Richard as he took off his grease-stained gloves.

Mechanic: Why do you want to dye it?

R: I told you, just because.

Mechanic: That hair suits you well.

R: Brown hair could suit me even better.

Mechanic: I doubt it.

R: ….

Mechanic: Why are you trying so hard to change it? You trying to copy some celebrity? Or is there someone you want to look good for?

Richard lifted his head slightly and looked at the mechanic. The mechanic grinned.

Mechanic: The person you like said they like brown hair?

R: I don’t know.

Mechanic: Richard. Let me tell you from my experience, you don’t win over the person you like with things like dyeing your hair.

R: Well, you don’t know that….

Mechanic: Think about it. You think if you dye your hair brown, that person will like you? There are so many people with brown hair in the world. There’s no way they’d like someone just because they have brown hair.

R: …Then what should I do?

Mechanic: Try acting like a man. Really manly and cool, you know? Huh?

The mechanic ruffled Richard’s hair wildly as he spoke. Richard pouted his lips and grumbled, “I don’t believe you,” but he was already halfway swayed by the mechanic’s words. But, act like a man? Manly and cool? How exactly do you do that? It sounded cool, but he had no idea what it meant.

After carefully pondering the mechanic’s advice, Richard came up with his own definition of manliness. Putting aside the matter of dyeing his hair, he couldn’t produce the kind of chest Charles seemed to like. In some ways, the mechanic’s words that “the world is overflowing with brown hair” were right. So Richard resolved to make Charles like him without changing a single thing about himself. That seemed, in Richard’s own way, like a manly thing to do.

Coolly, just as I am! Brimming with enthusiasm, Richard no longer wore the beanie. The distance he had been maintaining to some degree with Charles since the pool incident also narrowed in an instant. Richard acted the same way he did when he first resolved to win Charles’s love. He stuck himself right back to Charles’s side again. The only difference from back then was that he himself was so shy that he couldn’t talk or run around with Charles normally. So Richard always mixed in with Charles’s friends. Whatever Charles did, he did it with him, and wherever they went to hang out, he went along.

Charles seemed none too pleased with Richard’s abruptly changed attitude, but he didn’t make any particular fuss about it. Richard took it as a sign of permission and happily blended into Charles’s group. He still couldn’t meet Charles’s eyes, so he would look at his lips or over his shoulder instead, and if Charles even briefly spoke to him or looked at him, the corners of his lips would loosen and he’d break into a huge grin without realizing it, but daily life flowed more smoothly than ever.

The transformation of a boy in love was dramatic. Richard smiled far more often at school than before. Sometimes he would rowdily hang out with Charles’s friends. Just as he did with Charles’s family, he became a little more easygoing with his school friends, and in every way, he became more active and lively. It changed Richard’s very atmosphere. His neatly combed blond hair would become disheveled like a mischievous boy’s a few hours after coming to school. His sapphire blue eyes, like the clear winter sky, grew much gentler than before.

Richard was able to spend about two weeks happily like that. But his brief happiness quickly faded due to one incident brought about by that very transformation.

Just as he had realized the existence of love and erections later than his peers, Richard had a somewhat obtuse side. He was quick to accept the changes happening to himself, but often slow to notice what was happening around him. The prime example of that was the first button he had buttoned up wrong with Charles. The incident this time was likely not unrelated to Richard’s dull nature either.

So absorbed was he in his own feelings that even while seeing Charles every day, he didn’t notice the changes happening to him. Richard found out long after the fact, as usual. Charles had a girl he liked. Richard heard the story from Charles’s friend. After spending the whole day blankly pondering what that meant, Richard went to Charles’s house in the evening.

The parents had not yet come home. Charles had just been about to give Cherry a bath. He seemed glad that Richard happened to show up. Cherry was big, so it was hard to bathe him alone. Richard obediently rolled up his shirt sleeves to his elbows, folded up the cuffs of his pants a few times, and stepped barefoot into the bathroom. Charles had Cherry seated in a large plastic tub and was filling it with warm water.

C: Richard. Hand me the shampoo over there.

R: This?

C: Yeah.

Cherry was rather long-haired, and bathing him was akin to washing a massive lump of fur, so for a while, the two boys diligently soaped him up in silence. As they soaped him, Richard and Charles’s hands occasionally brushed against each other. Richard’s heart would flutter, then suddenly it felt as if his heart plummeted. As he kneaded and washed Cherry’s paws, Richard avoided Charles’s eyes. Then his mind grew a little calmer, and only then was he able to ask.

R: Hey, Charlie.

C: What.

R: Well, it’s….

C: What?

R: ….

C: What is it?

R: No, I mean… Jonathan said, uh… you’ve got someone you like?

C: Yeah.

R: …Who, who is it?

Unexpectedly, Charles answered readily.

C: Jennifer.

R: Jennifer Schultz?

C: Yeah.

R: But she’s blond.

Richard said, lifting his head without realizing it. Charles, who had been vigorously scrubbing Cherry’s body, looked across at Richard. Richard saw the faint freckles scattered across Charles’s cheekbones. They were lovely. Charles stared straight at Richard and asked back.

C: So what?

In that moment, Richard felt like he had been smacked in the back of the head. But it wasn’t something he could say anything to Charles about either. No, I just… Richard trailed off and decided to close his mouth.

Jennifer Schultz was a girl who shared English Literature and Math classes with Richard. She had a head of bright blond hair, just like Richard. Richard couldn’t understand at all why Charles had come to like her. It was because Charles wasn’t even close with Jennifer, and in truth, they’d barely exchanged a few words. Jennifer was pretty, but if you thought about it, there were plenty of girls just as pretty. Just as there were plenty of people with brown hair in the world. What was it about Jennifer that Charles liked? It couldn’t simply be because she was pretty. There had to be something about her that made Charles think he liked her.