I Slept with the Villain Holding My Hand Chapter 138

“But why are you telling me this?”

Merria, who had just learned a truth far too profound, suddenly felt afraid.
What if they erased her very existence, saying she knew too much?

She couldn’t die. Her family, her friends—and him.

Reukis must be waiting for her. She had told him she’d be fine, that he should trust her.

 

Merria desperately grabbed Emily’s hand and asked in a pleading voice,

“Did you come to take me away? No. Please wake me up quickly.”

 

Emily patted Merria’s hand and smiled.

“I just came to give you a gift. This was the only way to talk to you—thanks to you collapsing, it worked out.”

 

“It’s not like I collapsed on purpose!”

Emily shrugged.

 

“A… gift?”

Merria murmured softly. Emily tucked a strand of Merria’s hair behind her ear and nodded.

“Yes. Actually, I’ve given it to you before. Something like this.”

 

In Emily’s hand was a plain-looking notebook.

Merria’s eyes widened—she had seen an identical notebook just days ago.

“That…! Wasn’t that the one Arienne dropped?”

 

“This was the one I gave you.”

She had clearly dropped the notebook over Merria while she was unconscious.

Without a physical form, Emily had no other way to deliver something directly, so she had to use the notebook.

 

“But it said inside that it was left behind by Arienne…”

However, while Merria was bedridden with fever, Gaisia had searched the sanctuary and misunderstood.

Assuming the suspicious notebook must have belonged to Arienne.

 

By the time Emily returned and realized what had happened, it was frustrating beyond words.

Once the world began flowing with its own consciousness, her ability to intervene became limited.

Still, since she had finally managed to speak with Merria like this, she decided not to explain further.

 

“Did you read it?”

“Yes—ah, no.”

 

I had seen it, but since I didn’t understand the content, it was too much to say I had read it.

 

Merria’s answer changed in an instant, and Emily let out a soft chuckle.

 

“That book contains the spells I frequently use, and among them is a way to completely erase memories. The only problem is… I was in such a hurry while writing that I didn’t consider the altered Imperial language.”

 

Emily gave a slightly awkward smile.

 

“Even now, I can erase everything as you wished and let you live as a new Merria.”

 

“…Then, I won’t remember anything?”

 

“That’s right.”

 

“I don’t want that.”

 

Merria answered with a firm expression.

 

At her words, Emily tilted her head slightly.

 

“You don’t?”

 

“No. I don’t want my memories erased anymore.”

 

Merria smiled faintly, a hint of sorrow in her expression.

 

Then, with resolute eyes, she continued, “I’ll remember everything. My mistakes, the forgiveness, and the precious people.”

 

Even though they were just characters in a novel—Why had she been so afraid of Merria’s death that she couldn’t sleep?

 

Why had facing Shannon been so awkward? Why had she felt pity for Reukis’s fate?

 

Now she knew.

 

And so, she decided not to erase anything. Because now, there were more things she wanted to remember than to forget.

 

Lost in thought, Merria asked Emily another question.

 

“Instead, could you grant me a different wish?”

 

“What is it?”

 

Merria lowered her eyelids slightly and smiled.

 

If she had one wish now, it would only be this—To erase Reukis’s pain without a trace.

 

There was only one way.

 

“Can’t we turn back time?”

 

Emily raised an eyebrow at the unexpected answer.

 

“To when?”

 

“Before the Grand Duke and his wife died.”

 

“Hah. You really… know how to make me feel guilty, don’t you?”

 

Emily shook her head with a sigh.

 

“That’s impossible. As I said before, this world is already beyond my control.”

 

“…I see.”

 

“And besides, Reukis wouldn’t want that either.”

 

Merria’s eyes widened as she heard those words.

In her past life, Reukis had been unable to move past the death of his parents until the very end.

That was why Merria doubted whether Emily’s words were true.

Emily closed her eyes softly and continued, “What he wants now is for you to open your eyes.”

“Reukis…”

So he’s waiting for me. Merria murmured quietly.

“Any other requests?”

“Then I… want to do it.”

Merria muttered to herself before breaking into a faint smile. Though her voice was small, Emily heard it clearly.

With a satisfied curl of her lips, Emily spoke, “It’s time to go now.”

“Yes. It was nice meeting you.”

“Let’s not meet again.”

Her vision gradually blurred.

 

💫

 

Merria’s eyes snapped open. She slowly moved her eyelids, which felt heavy and stiff.

The first thing that came into focus was a familiar ceiling.

Merria had awakened in her bed at the ducal mansion. She flexed her stiff limbs and gradually sat up.

After a few movements, getting up was easy.

Did I wake up right away?

The place where she had spoken to that woman with Emily’s face had no sense of time passing.

Because of that, Merria had no idea how long she had been unconscious. She stepped out of bed and walked toward the window.

It seemed to be around sunset.

 

Clang—

Just then, the sound of shattering glass came from nearby.

When she turned her head, she saw Lexie standing there, her face pale as if she’d seen a ghost.

“Ah…”

“Ah?”

“My lady—!”

Lexie called out to her in a voice that was almost a scream.

Merria stared blankly as Lexie rushed into her arms.

“My lady, ugh… I really…”

Lexie burst into tears as if Merria had returned from the dead.

 

While they were comforting Lexie, the commotion drew the rest of the family rushing into her room.

Thud!

“Merria!”

“May!”

“Oh my goodness… You have no idea how worried we were.”

Raven, who had noticeably lost weight in what felt like no time at all, even ended up shedding tears.

Though she didn’t cry as hard as Lexie, Serinia and Themis also had reddened eyes.

As time passed, Merria grew increasingly awkward, unsure of how to react.

‘Just how long was I asleep?’

She was aware she had lost consciousness, but judging by her family’s and Lexie’s reactions, she instinctively knew it couldn’t have been just a day or two.

 

Lexie sniffled as she handed Merria a glass of lukewarm water.

“My lady, I’m so relieved you’re awake. Truly, I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

Though she didn’t feel like a patient at all, Merria was forced to sit on the bed due to everyone’s fussing. She took the cup and sipped lightly.

After wetting her throat just enough, she cautiously asked, “How long was I unconscious?”

“You were lying there for a whole week!”

“What?”

Cough. Cough.

She choked on her own breath in her haste to respond.

Every time Merria coughed, her family and Lexie stared at her with mixed expressions of joy and worry.

“Ugh…”

Once the coughing finally subsided, Merria wiped away the tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

She had assumed she’d only been bedridden for a couple of days at most, given how perfectly fine her body felt.

 

Yet, her doubts were quickly—and almost absurdly—answered with the truth.

The reason her condition was so good despite lying still for a week was clear.

The High Priestess Nethesia herself had come to see her.

When she heard that, she nearly fainted all over again.

Since when does the High Priestess personally visit a fallen duke’s daughter?

Especially when she should be incredibly busy with pilgrimage duties around this time.

“It was by His Highness the Crown Prince’s permission.”

 

It was the Crown Prince’s consideration for the Grand Duke and Duke, who never left the sides of their lovers and daughters.

Nethesia purified the dark magic that Merria had failed to evade in time.

Merria, who had been breathing so faintly it seemed her life might slip away, was thus able to fully recover.

 

As she listened silently to the story, Merria suddenly lifted her head.

“What about Reukis?”

 

The moment the name ‘Reukis’ left her lips, the room was engulfed in silence. The emptiness only fueled Merria’s unease.

 

“…You should rest first.”

“That’s right. You’ve just woken up—how about we meet again after you’ve rested properly for a few days?”

 

Her parents stepped in to dissuade her.

 

This is strange. Why does this feel so off?

 

Merria frowned slightly at her family’s unnatural reaction.

Seeing this, Lexie spoke up in a trembling voice.

 

“His Grace, the Grand Duke, has been forbidden from entering the ducal residence.”

“What?”

 

Merria’s gaze turned to Themis, who was avoiding her eyes.

Themis let out a sigh and ran a hand down his face.

 

“The Grand Duke said it himself—that it was all his fault you collapsed.”

“Father.”

 

Merria drew out the word as she called to him.

Of course, Themis wouldn’t know that she had thrown herself into danger willingly. He should have known well that Reukis would never do such a thing intentionally.

 

Yet, to forbid him from entering the ducal residence…

Did that mean Reukis hadn’t even been allowed to visit while she was unconscious?

 

“He didn’t mean to hurt me. I was the one who rushed in. If Reukis hadn’t protected me, I could have died. Thanks to him, I only lost consciousness—that’s all. You know he would never harm me, Father.”

 

“The outcome doesn’t change.”

 

Themis shook his head with a hardened expression.

 

Themis’s anger and resentment turned entirely toward Reukis.

Pale-faced, Reukis left the ducal residence without offering a single word of excuse.

Merria lay on the bed and swallowed a sigh. Her family was overprotective, and Lexie would raise a fuss even if she so much as twitched a finger.

In such a situation, sneaking out of the mansion was out of the question—she couldn’t even send him a letter asking him to meet her.

Merria used a headache as an excuse to send everyone away.

 

“What should I do…?”

She let out a deep sigh, and as she habitually touched her left hand, something hard brushed against her fingers.

No way.

“The… ring!”

Hup— Merria clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle any sound.

A ring. There was a ring.

She closed her eyes and clenched the ring tightly.

 

Just then, Lexie returned from the bathroom with a fresh bucket of water after going to fetch a wet towel.

“Lexie.”

Merria called her name in a small voice.

If she considered her worried family and Lexie, the right thing would be to tell them her destination.

If she didn’t want to worry them, the proper choice would be not to go at all.

But she wanted to see Reukis that badly. She wanted to face him directly and speak to him.

To tell him not to superimpose the boy from her childhood onto this situation. To tell him she was fine, so he shouldn’t worry or suffer.

 

“I’m going to see Reukis.”

Lexie bit her lip and didn’t respond.

Right now, Lexie was deeply conflicted. Half of her wanted to stop Merria, thinking of the duke’s orders, while the other half wanted to pretend she hadn’t heard, seeing the desperation on her lady’s face.

But Merria had already made up her mind.

While Lexie hesitated, the magic stone activated the teleportation spell with astonishing precision.

 

“I’m sorry. I’ll be back.”

Merria gave a faint smile.