Keep Going Crazy Chapter 22

“Superstition?”

Aiden’s expression twisted slightly. It was a look that said, “What kind of bullshit is this?”

‘Yeah, yeah…’

Ryeoun silently agreed with the guy’s expression. It must sound like bullshit… He himself had thought it was an absurd superstition at first. If someone else had told him they had such a superstition, he would have laughed his ass off at them.

‘It’s because it’s my own…’

When such an absurd superstition becomes your own reality, it’s not funny at all. The person who least wanted to believe it was himself.

Ryeoun nodded with a sigh.

“Yeah, a superstition.”

“You’re saying you have a superstition that requires you to… sleep with men?”

“I know it sounds unbelievable. And to be precise, it’s not a superstition about sleeping with men, it’s a superstition about having sex.”

“….”

It might seem like the same thing, but it was still something he wanted to correct. Saying it was a superstition about sleeping with men… didn’t it sound rather promiscuous?

Either way, Aiden kept his mouth tightly shut and said nothing.

Are you really not believing it because it’s unbelievable?! His frustration was making him feel like he’d burst. But Ryeoun patiently tried to make the world champion with the screwed-up personality in front of him understand.

“The first time the superstition started was two years ago during the Monaco Grand Prix.”

“….”

“I was just having a hard time then…. You know how it is. So exhausted, tired, wanting to run away. Everything was going wrong. I wanted some kind of deviation. So I drank until I couldn’t tell if I was the alcohol or the alcohol was me… and I ended up having a one-night stand on a complete impulse.”

Aiden’s eyes narrowed. Seeing that expression, Ryeoun frowned. It was the face of someone who didn’t understand a single thing.

“Didn’t I tell you to stop looking at me like that?”

“…I did.”

But even as he said that, Aiden couldn’t easily change his expression. Ryeoun narrowed his eyes in return and glared at Aiden.

“You don’t understand a word I’m saying right now, do you?”

“Do you want me to be honest?”

“…Go ahead.”

“Acting out like that just because things aren’t going well and you’re having a hard time isn’t good.”

What was this, some kind of teacher lecture? Then what are you supposed to do when stress builds up to the top of your head? Genuinely curious, Ryeoun asked.

“Don’t you drink? Don’t you have sex? How do you relieve stress?”

“I usually exercise.”

‘Crazy bastard.’

The word “crazy bastard” naturally came to mind. So there was a living Buddha in Shanghai. Isn’t exercise something you do to the point of being sick of it even on normal days? And yet he says he exercises?

Of course, getting drunk, smoking, or having sex aren’t healthy ways to relieve stress at all, but this was the first time he’d seen an athlete who relieved stress through exercise. At least none of the guys around Ryeoun did that. At least play some games or something….

Ryeoun waved his hand. It seemed like there was nothing to gain from talking about this topic.

“Anyway, from that day on…”

Ryeoun chose his words carefully for a moment. He wasn’t sure how much of the bottom of this crazy private life he should reveal. In the end, Ryeoun squeezed his eyes shut and yelled out.

“I started getting good results when I had sex the day before qualifying!”

“….”

“…Yeah, you can’t believe it, right? I couldn’t believe it at first either. That I’d have this kind of… shitty superstition. How could I just accept it casually? I’m human too. I don’t always want to do that kind of thing.”

Aiden said nothing. The silence was suffocating. Ryeoun glanced at Aiden’s expression. And added as if making an excuse.

“You know, right? That I made it into the points for the first time at the Monaco Grand Prix two years ago.”

“…Yeah.”

“At first, I thought there was no way. It must have been a coincidence. Having sex makes you perform well? What kind of ridiculous superstition is that? So I gritted my teeth and tried to break free of it. I didn’t drink, and instead of having sex, I took cold showers and lived almost like a monk, you know?”

“….”

Aiden looked like he didn’t really believe it, but Ryeoun steadfastly continued what he had to say.

“But it didn’t work. The more I tried to break free from the superstition, the more my results crashed to the bottom. Even though I trained and worked harder than usual, my luck was just terrible. Some other guy would crash into my car, or I’d catch the flu, or pit stops would take eight seconds, or the front wing would suddenly fall off while I was driving?!”

The more he thought about it, the more absurd it was. Ryeoun had really experienced all of it. Every time it happened, he was so dumbfounded he couldn’t even cry. In the end, all those “terrible luck” situations were resolved by him seeking out men during Race Week. Amazingly, it actually worked….

“…Anyway, I tried everything during the Grands Prix, but in the end, I had no choice but to accept it. That this is my superstition.”

“Then why was it like that in Melbourne?”

“What?”

“You were with that man that day, but you still retired in Melbourne.”

Ryeoun’s mouth fell open. He didn’t know what to say. Because of you? Because you made my mood turn to shit so I couldn’t have sex? Because that kind Noah just took my irritation and left?

In the end, it was all Ryeoun’s choice. To be honest, it wasn’t Aiden’s fault. He had definitely dragged his mood through the mud, but… it was his own decision to send the sweet and gentle Noah away.

With a sigh, Ryeoun replied casually.

“I didn’t do it.”

“What?”

“I didn’t have sex that day.”

“…Why not? You said you had a superstition.”

“Hey! You…!”

Ryeoun, about to snap at Aiden, barely managed to shut his mouth. And instead of getting irrationally angry, he tried to rationally explain the situation to the guy.

‘God the Father, please give me patience.’

He wasn’t particularly Christian, but Ryeoun called out to God in his mind. Fortunately, it seemed to have a very… very small effect.

“We ran into each other in front of the elevator that day, remember?”

“So?”

“After we argued like that and I went back, do you think I felt like having sex? Would you? Your face kept flashing before my eyes and my irritation went through the roof. You have to be in the mood for that kind of thing too…”

“Are you saying it was because of me?”

“…Honestly, that’s not entirely it.”

Since he couldn’t say it was 100% Aiden’s fault, Ryeoun let out a deep sigh. And continued.

“I’m saying you were part of the cause.”

“I see.”

Honestly, every time Aiden said “I see” with that expressionless face, Ryeoun wanted to punch him. But if he punched him every time, that handsome face of his would be reduced to a pulp….

“So what I’m saying is, if you’re genuinely worried about the Constructors’ Championship, I’d like you to just leave me alone. Surprising as it may be, I care about my performance too. Do you think sponsors just fall from the sky while I stare at the clouds? I feel the pressure to perform well too. No one in this world wants my record as desperately as I do. You know how hard it is to keep an F1 seat. At the very least, I think I need to perform well enough to get the next contract with Helix.”

“….”

“I’m the most desperate. More than you.”

Aiden let out a deep sigh. Deep enough to put out the entire W Hotel. Ryeoun downed the remaining cocktail like water. The burning sensation in his throat seemed to burn away some of his frustration.

After tapping his thigh for a moment, Aiden looked at Ryeoun and spoke.

“Understood.”

“…Good.”

Fortunately, it seemed like this insanely embarrassing conversation could finally come to an end.

“So you won’t mention my private life anymore, right? That’s what we’ve agreed on now, correct?”

Ryeoun asked again to get a firm confirmation from Aiden. He didn’t want to hear that “promiscuous” nonsense ever again, nor did he want to get any more worked up over this issue with the guy.

Aiden had a rather complicated expression. But in the end, what came out of Aiden’s mouth was an answer close to affirmation.

“Let’s do that.”

He hadn’t known that “let’s do that” could sound so welcome. Honestly, Aiden still seemed not to understand at all, and he was looking at Ryeoun with that suspicious squint that Ryeoun hated, but… he didn’t need to consider that far.

Ryeoun neatly rose from his seat. After saying he’d go ahead, he left the bar.

It felt like Aiden’s gaze followed him all the way until he took the elevator down, but Ryeoun didn’t look back.

This confession was more than enough.