Keep Going Crazy Chapter 21

“What in the world did I just hear?”

Ryeoun seriously doubted his own ears. He even dug at his ear to check if he had misheard, but the words already spoken couldn’t just disappear.

His head felt somehow dazed. Feeling a dizzying vertigo, Ryeoun squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them again.

“Hold on.”

At Ryeoun’s words, Aiden silently took a sip of whiskey.

His head genuinely hurt. Pressing hard on his temples, Ryeoun asked Aiden.

“Are you drunk by any chance?”

“Are you asking me that right now?”

“Who else is here besides you?”

“Not at all.”

“You’re not drunk, and yet you’re suddenly asking me something like this out of the blue?”

“….”

“Aiden, think carefully. How many glasses of whiskey have you had now? You’re drunk, right? Huh?”

“….”

He deliberately asked back in a playful tone, but no answer came back. In the end, Ryeoun clamped his mouth shut.

He was so dumbfounded he didn’t know what to say. After putting off his reply for a moment, Ryeoun carefully mulled over Aiden’s question. And then he spotted a very uncomfortable point in that question.

“Hey, Aiden Carter.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you my stalker by any chance?”

Aiden lifted his head and looked at Ryeoun. Ryeoun’s jet-black pupils, catching the bar’s lighting, sparkled like the cosmos. After quietly gazing into those eyes, Aiden shook his head.

“What a peculiar imagination you have.”

“…If you’re not that either, then how do you know that during Race Week I sleep with ‘different’ ‘men’ ‘every time’?”

“….”

Silence again. Ryeoun was so frustrated he felt like jumping out of his skin.

‘This insane lunatic world champion—what the hell is his deal?!’

Among F1 fans, there’s a phrase tossed around as a joke: “world champion personality.” It’s an unfunny meme that says you have to have a nasty personality to become world champion, and for the first time, Ryeoun was feeling the truth of that meme in his bones.

Because the world champion right in front of him was personally adding credibility to it!

Not communicating is the baseline, and on top of that, he interferes with his own teammate’s private life while worrying about his own performance, doesn’t answer promptly when asked anything, and leaves texts on read all the time. There’s not a single redeeming quality to cut him some slack.

If he’s not a stalker, there’s no explanation. Thinking that, Ryeoun added.

“No, you knew I met Li Hao yesterday too, right? How is that possible? How can you know a personal schedule that even my manager doesn’t know?”

“….”

“So far, we’ve just exchanged a few greetings and passed each other by—that’s all our relationship has been, hasn’t it? To borrow your words, I was just Horizon’s second driver crawling around at the bottom. I shouldn’t have even existed within your scope of interest to begin with, right?”

“….”

Staring at the silent Aiden, Ryeoun tore at his hair.

“A world champion turns out to be a rookie’s stalker? That kind of title is seriously creepy, you know? What? Huh?”

In the end, Aiden let out a sigh.

“I don’t know what kind of delusion you’re having, but that’s not it at all.”

After sweeping back the hair he’d been tearing at, Ryeoun crossed his legs and leaned back in his chair. Hoping the plush seat would support his reeling mentality.

“Then how did you know…”

“Know what?”

“That I sleep with different men every Race Week! You said it with your own mouth!”

Fortunately, the private bar was empty. Even the bartender had left with a word to ring the bell if needed. For the first time, Ryeoun felt grateful to Aiden. If the guy hadn’t called him up to the 38th floor of the W Hotel, the whole world would have found out that he was gay and enjoyed one-night stands.

“…Before.”

“What?”

“I saw it twice before.”

“…Saw what?”

“You entering a hotel with another man.”

“Wow…”

That was truly all he could say. He thought he’d been fairly careful, but how Aiden Carter had managed to witness that sight twice was beyond him.

“You were quite drunk, and you were practically clinging to those men. There was no way I wouldn’t notice.”

“Ha…”

Now his head was hurting for a different reason. Not Alex, not Jamie, not even his manager Younghoo… The fact that the person who saw that was Aiden Carter was just absurd.

“But you don’t have an officially announced partner.”

“….”

“The man you came up with last time in Melbourne was a different man too. I just guessed at that point. That maybe you sleep with a different man every Race Week.”

In the end, the guy’s words were half a trap. And he had been the one to dive headfirst into that trap.

“How did you know about yesterday?”

Instead of answering, the guy tilted his chin toward the window. Only then did Ryeoun realize that the bar where he’d met Li Hao yesterday was right next to this building.

“I was at the cafe on the first floor of this hotel yesterday. I was going to stay on the first floor and come up at 9 o’clock. I checked your text a little late, and before I left my seat, you passed by outside the window first. I wasn’t particularly curious, but I ended up finding out what your appointment was.”

“What a hell of a coincidence.”

“It wasn’t that great. My mood was ruined.”

“….”

When he put it that way, there was nothing to say. Ryeoun took a sip of his cocktail. He nearly spat out all the liquor in his mouth at Aiden’s next words, though.

“Honestly, yes. As you said, you’re an adult, so you might find my meddling in your promiscuous private life unpleasant.”

“Pro—what? Promiscuous? Hey, I’m not even that promiscuous, okay?! Are you crazy?”

“….”

“….”

A terrible silence flowed between them. Ryeoun wanted to run out right then and never see Aiden’s face again….

“…Let’s go with that.”

“Hah.”

“Anyway, I admit that you might find it unpleasant.”

“It’s fucking unpleasant.”

“But I think I have at least the right to bring this up with you.”

“…?”

Right? What right? Ryeoun blinked blankly. What right could you possibly have…?

Every time Aiden Carter opened his mouth, it felt like the bullshit meter kept climbing. Ryeoun waved his hand. A gesture meaning “keep that bullshit coming.”

“As I said last time, I’m your teammate, and our performance will decide the Constructors’ Championship. Even if I score points alone, I can’t win the championship fight.”

“I know that much. And it seems like you’re mistaken, but I’ve never once taken the constructors’ competition lightly, you know? I’m serious about that competition too.”

“Then why are you wasting your energy on pointless things while claiming to be serious? If I were Han Ryeoun, I would never do that. I simply cannot understand why you’d willingly do something that could affect your condition the next day. You said it doesn’t bother you, but well.”

Aiden laughed lightly. And in one stroke, he drove a very large nail straight into Ryeoun’s chest.

“If that were true, you wouldn’t have retired in Melbourne.”

Ryeoun’s mouth fell open. The guy was a master at needling people with a smiling face.

[…I thought he was a decent guy, but turns out he’s just a son of a bitch.]

Utterly astounded and speechless, Korean naturally slipped out. Aiden casually replied in Korean.

[Son of a bitch? Does that mean cute?]

[Are you crazy? Fuck, you’re mean!]

Ryeoun ended up shouting out loud. He didn’t know who had taught Aiden Carter Korean, but he could tell the guy had only learned it superficially. Thumping his chest in frustration, Ryeoun kindly re-explained in English.

“You act all nice in front of the media. So I really thought you were a good guy. But you’re not at all! You say such mean things. You’re a real bastard.”

“Oh.”

Aiden seemed to finally understand the meaning of “bastard” clearly.

“I see.”

Even after being cursed at, the way he nodded with an “I see” was even more infuriating. Ryeoun blew a breath upward, flicking his bangs. His normally neat bangs rose in the air and then settled back down.

Staring at Aiden Carter, who looked like he wouldn’t change his expression even if pricked with a needle, Ryeoun realized.

The moment had come to bring out his personal superstition that he’d never wanted to tell anyone.

If he didn’t tell that story, it seemed like the conversation with Aiden would just circle the same spot forever. He didn’t expect the guy to understand him 100%, of course, but at least he wanted him to know the reason.

Because he didn’t want to just leave the guy misunderstanding him as some promiscuous gay man….

Taking a deep breath, Ryeoun spoke to Aiden, enunciating clearly and firmly.

“Listen carefully, Aiden Carter.”

“Yeah.”

“I am absolutely not some promiscuous or whatever kind of person.”

“….”

“The reason I… ha, I mean, the reason I sleep with men during Race Week is.”

“Is?”

“…Because of a goddamn superstition.”