I’m Not Doing This With A Friend – Chapter 120

Author: Nikss

It was a piece of advice I’d never heard before. I gritted my teeth. How much thought I’d put into staying here.

“No. I’m not running away.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you knew how crazy my brother is about Miss Leen.”

The corners of my mouth twisted up. This was ludicrous.

“You think I, the person involved, don’t know that?”

“Miss Leen doesn’t know. Brother Rex’s patience is at its limit, and sooner or later, he’s going to find you, no matter what it takes.”

The limit…

How I wished he’d given up while he was at it.

“During Miss Leen’s four years at the academy, his obsession with you has grown to new heights. Do you have any idea what those heights are?”

“Enough to kill your parents for opposing the idea of making me a duchess.”

His eyes flickered as if he didn’t think I knew that.

“And I also know that he’s mad enough to be convinced that having one of your legs like that is nothing special to Rex Begonia.”

He stared at me wordlessly for a moment, then shook his head slowly.

“…My leg has nothing to do with Miss Leen, it is merely a disability I acquired as a warning, long ago, when I was distinguishing myself in swordsmanship.”

My gaze fell on Roel’s ornately decorated staff.

He, too, was a victim of Rex Begonia. Like me. I don’t know what to say about this.

I knew that hasty words of comfort and sympathy would hurt.

“If I hadn’t given up on learning swordsmanship as a profession, both my hands would have been crippled.”

Rex Begonia always controlled his strength when he raised his hand to me.

He never touched me where skin was exposed above my clothes, and he rarely caused more than a bruise.

On the days when he did accidentally cut or wound me, he felt terrible about it and wouldn’t raise his hand for weeks.

I was disgusted because it was like he was looking at something that had lost its value.

It proved that he did care about me, after all. But he didn’t seem to draw the line at anyone else but me.

‘I mean, he wouldn’t hesitate to get rid of his parents, so why not his brother?’

Slightly letting my guard down, I stared into Roel’s eyes. I thought they were the same ashen color as Rex Begonia’s.

Upon closer inspection, Roel’s eyes were a little clearer.

“I appreciate the advice you’ve given me, Roel, but…”

I tossed the poisoned dagger I was carrying off the terrace with a flick of my hand.

“Why are you apologizing to me? Don’t stoop to my level. You’re not the one who needs to apologize.”

“…In a way, I’m a bystander, too.”

He took my hand and stood up, supporting himself with his cane.

I waited until he had his balance before asking, “Was it out of guilt that you warned me to run away?”

“…Actually, what I said to Miss Leen was what I wanted to say to myself.”

“Then why didn’t Lord Roel run away?”

“Then why didn’t Miss Leen run away after graduating from the Academy, even though you know my brother would find you?”

It was an easy question to answer.

“Because I still have people I care about here.”

Roel smiled bitterly and answered, “So do I.”

So he’s as caring as I am. My heart felt a tightness in my chest. It felt like he was looking at me, and it made me feel bad.

“May I ask why Rex Begonia couldn’t come here?”

“That’s….”

He hesitated, his mouth twitching, then finally spoke, “He was attacked last night and knocked out, his injuries are not life-threatening, but bad enough that he won’t be able to move around for a while.”

So it’s Carson, I felt no sympathy for him.

“…Too bad, I wish he’d stayed dead.”

The comment that I wished for him to die was casual.

“I clearly warned you to run away. Again, my brother, he’s reached his limit. If you don’t run, you will meet him in some form or another.”

“I’m not alone.”

“Miss Leen. I know from your behavior that the Duke of Lysianthus is protecting you.”

…Actions? Lysianthus has done something about it.

What, has he already been doing something behind my back?

Just as I was beginning to question his words, he spoke in a serious tone, as if to remind me.

“But it won’t be an easy fight. My brother won’t give up on Miss Leen, even if it means risking all Begonia.”

A fight with everything on the line…

“Alas. There was a time when I worried about that too.”

I smirked at him and said, “That’s because I’m well-loved by the Duke of Lysianthus, too, my dear.”

🍃

Stepping out onto the terrace, Leen sighed deeply.

“My life without wind.”

Having shaken off her complicated thoughts, she didn’t expect to come out of the terrace with one more problem on her mind.

‘I’ve reached my limit…’

It had been a long time since the former Duchess of Begonia had instructed that he and I not see each other.

“More than four years.”

That was the last time I saw his face.

Carson had gotten me through today, but Roel was right, it would only be a matter of time before I faced him.

A chill ran down his spine.

“…I think we should head back in early today, as Lou said.”

I felt bad for Carson, who had fainted.

Just as she was wondering if it would be rude to leave the banquet at this time. Someone stood in front of Leen.

“Why are you making such an ugly face?”

It was Fjord. I patted his head, the corners of my mouth twitching upward.

“You talk so pretty. Look at me, where’s the ugliness in my face?”

“What, what?!”

I shoved my face in front of him, and he jerked back uncharacteristically.

“How shy.”

“Your pores just make me claustrophobic.”

“Haha, is that why you’re wearing those greasy pads?”

I wondered why he was being so mean today.

Perhaps I was too late for the banquet for his brother’s succession. What the heck, I was about to leave.

“Fjord. I’ll leave early today.”

Fjord grumbled back, “You’re already late, and you said you had something to think about, and then you shooed everyone out onto the terrace.”

“Sorry. I’m not feeling well.”

Fjord’s brow creased at the mention of not feeling well.

“What? You should have told me if you were sick. You should have stayed in bed, you look like a dead fish!”

Irritating, he’s whining so much and worrying so much about being sick.

Leen smiled wryly and opened her mouth to speak, “Ugh, you’re deaf. Don’t worry, I’m not sick enough to be treated like a patient.”

He chewed his lip nervously and asked, “What exactly is wrong with you? I’ll get a doctor, just give me a minute.”

“Never mind. It’s not that bad.”

“Whatever. Don’t argue, just wait in the lounge.”

Leen raised an eyebrow at Fjord, who grabbed her wrist and wouldn’t let go.

“I said I’m fine, what’s wrong?”

“We’ll know if you’re okay or not when we get you checked out.”

At first, Leen was touched by Fjord’s concern for her, but then he became a little annoying.

“I’m fine.”

“What’s the big deal?”

“Oh, it’s just the call of Mother Nature that comes once a month, so mind your own business, you moron!”

“What, what?”

Fjord’s face flushed bright red. How he wished he’d let go sooner.

Leen clicked her tongue briefly and twisted away from his grip. Then she turned to Fjord and held out one hand.

“Then I assume you understand, and I’ll take my leave. Tell Lord Lou that I congratulate him again.”

Fjord remained frozen in place until Leen bowed to Hans and Jane and strode out of the banquet hall.

It was Lou who roused him from his reverie. He put his hand on Fjord’s shoulder.

“It’s about time you woke up, my dear brother.”

Fjord swatted his hand away with a reddened face.

“I’ve never been asleep.”

“No, you haven’t.”

Lou, who had been meekly accepting, blurted out in disbelief.

“Well, for a flirt, you’re even embarrassed in front of a girl.”

“…Did you hear the conversation?”

“Sadly.”

“From where to what?”

“From beginning to end?”

“I’m just saying I heard the whole thing.”

Fjord blew a rough, dry breath and said, “Crap, how was I supposed to know that was the reason she wasn’t feeling well?”

Lou shrugged his shoulders and said casually, “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Menstruation is natural.”

“Who doesn’t know that?”

Lou finally asked after watching Fjord grunt for a long moment.

“Do you like her as well?”

“…Who.”

“Miss Leen.”

Fjord gritted his teeth as if he didn’t know what he was talking about.

“She’s Carson’s crush.”

“I asked about your feelings, not Carson’s.”

“It doesn’t matter what my feelings are.”

He repeated the phrase over again, as if hypnotized, that his feelings were irrelevant.

“That’s a shame because I thought Miss Leen was a great match for you.”

“Where did you see that?”

“I saw you earlier, and you two were hitting it off.”

“Of course, we’re close friends.”

Lou stared at Fjord. He looked like he had a lot to say. But all that came out of his mouth was a short answer.

“…Do you want me to introduce you to a girl?”

“Get lost.”

🍃

Recently, I have been practicing increasing our daily intimacy with Carson.

It seemed to be paying off, and we were getting used to holding hands.

But it wasn’t enough.

“I can’t wait to try this and that.”

When I was at the academy, I learned a lot from Fjord’s Red Book.

‘What’s the point of learning from print?’

All those all-nighters aren’t worth it until you put it into practice.

Oh, and for the record, Fjord never shared the book with me. I snatched it from him when he was throwing out his collection because he reeked of a widow.

…Wait, now that you mention it, what the hell am I doing with Carson?

I gazed down at the ring with the House Lysianthus seal on my thumb. I’d been proposed to by my father-in-law, the Duke, but I’d never had a confession like this with Carson.

‘How could I have been so sly…?’

And I wanted to nail him down as mine in the name of my lover.

‘I wanted to say out loud, this is my lover!’

But no way.

“This is the last time I’m going to beat him with a confession.”

With a nice ring. I started thinking about the design of the ring, assuming that, of course, he would accept it.

How could he say no? It had been so long.

My mouth dropped open as I suddenly realized something.

‘This is crazy.’

“Come to think of it, Carson has never told me he loves me.”

Not once. It was a shocking realization. I’d told him I loved him outright the first night we’d been together.

Sure, he’d told me he liked me many times.