I’m Not Doing This With A Friend Chapter 132

 

When Caris finished reminiscing, he lifted his heavy eyelids.

 

His eyes held a deep regret.

 

“I was stubborn to the end, and I ignored her words.”

 

“Godfather…”

 

“I’m afraid I’ll regret not listening to her this time, too.”

 

He brought the goblet to his mouth with a trembling hand.

 

Kun stared at Caris with a complicated expression.

 

The words that came out of his throat after so long were unexpected.

 

“Who does my godfather love more, Leen or me?”

 

Poof—

 

Caris’s hand, which had been lifting the goblet, fell limply. His eyes flickered as he turned to face Kun.

 

If Leen was his biological granddaughter by blood, Kun was the child he raised like a grandson.

 

In the past, Caris was forced to admit, years after her son’s departure.

 

He turned his back on everything.

 

Then the wandering began. There were only a few days of the year when he drank alcohol like water to stay sane.

 

But then came Kun.

 

Since his elven mother had returned to her forest home, Kun had been spending more and more time alone.

 

She would periodically visit the palace to spend time with him, but only briefly.

 

Caris realized that Kun, who was born into nothing more than a southern noble, seemed lonely and forlorn.

 

It was as if he had all the power to impose, but had lost everything else to war.

 

Growing close to Kun was not difficult. The lonely child quickly embraced Caris, and the two soon became inseparable.

 

“Lord Kun… That question is too harsh for me.”

 

“I loved Leen more than my godfather.”

 

Caris stares at Kun blankly. As if he expected it, Kun continued, “So I rationalized that I could have told Leen, but my mother was against it, and I was being selfish.”

 

“…Lord Kun, I’m not sure whether I understand what that means.”

 

Kun shrugged his shoulders and gave a sheepish look.

 

“Leen said that if she were a noble, she would have had no problem marrying the Duke Carson.”

 

“Marriage…”

 

Ever since learning that Leen was his biological granddaughter, Caris had been listening to all the news from the Arena Academy.

 

There was no way he hadn’t heard the rumors that Carson was in love with Leen.

 

“Leen has a crush on Duke Carson.”

 

“Yes, she does.”

 

Caris’s expression darkened. This was not something he would have heard through rumor alone.

 

“But he’s a high noble, and Leen, who believes herself to be a commoner, knew it wouldn’t be a smooth road.”

 

Kun paused for a moment, chewing slightly on his lower lip as if to control his emotions, before continuing.

 

“Because of that, Leen was always trying to draw the line with him.”

 

Caris’s eyes widened.

 

Both of her parents were nobles, and she couldn’t imagine why things were so twisted.

 

…This must have been caused by his rejection of Rud’s woman.

 

‘Should I reveal that she is my granddaughter now?’

 

But the words of the past choked him, too, to brazenly reveal the truth now.

 

He’d said he’d kill her. That Lagrasians couldn’t be his family.

 

‘I was afraid Leen would push me away.’

 

I’m nothing but a warmonger and a murderous bastard in the Lagras Empire.

 

I wondered if my presence would be a stain on the child, if she would be judged by Lagras for what I had done.

 

Caris wiped his face dry with self-pity.

 

Kun grabbed Caris by the shoulders. His gaze shifted to Kun.

 

“So you failed to tell Leen that she was not a commoner. Or rather, you didn’t.”

 

Kun laughed, almost crying.

 

“Godfather, I didn’t want to see Leen end up with the Duke Carson.”

 

“…Lord Kun.”

 

“Do you blame me for this?”

 

Kun looked like he was about to burst into tears at any moment. He looked disgusted with himself.

 

Caris silently covered Kun’s calloused hand with his own.

 

It was a rough, crude hand, full of calluses from a lifetime of holding a sword.

 

“I don’t blame you.”

 

Caris’s sincere words pierced Kun’s ears.

 

“You asked me who I love more, and the truth is, I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it, and I don’t think I should.”

 

His voice grew stronger.

 

“But I can tell you this much. I love you, Lord Kun.”

 

Caris smiled, his eyes crinkling. They were affectionate and loving.

 

“You’re both my grandchildren, and that’s a fact that wouldn’t change for the world.”

 

At that, the tears that had been pulling in the corners of Kun’s eyes slid down his cheeks.

 

It was an unexpected answer. He had expected him to care more for Leen because she was his biological granddaughter.

 

Even if that was true, I didn’t think I deserved to be jealous.

 

I would have chosen the latter between Caris and Leen.

 

Caris chuckled at the sight of Kun.

 

“Oh, I see, you’re upset that I’ve been neglecting you lately, Lord Kun.”

 

“…It’s not like that.”

 

“Let’s see, tomorrow, would you like to go horseback riding with me for the first time in a long time?”

 

Instead of answering Caris’s suggestion, Kun called him.

 

“Godfather.”

 

“Speak.”

 

“I love you too, Godfather.”

 

At his grandson’s sudden confession of love, the corners of Caris’s mouth gently smirked.

 

“Hehe…. It’s so refreshing to hear my grown grandson tell me he loves me. I hope you’ll tell me often.”

 

“I’ll tell you every day if you want me to.”

 

Kun smiled weakly at Caris, his face somewhat brighter.

 

“I think we can give up on Leen now.”

 

At the mention of giving up Leen, Caris’s relaxed smile slowly hardened.

 

“That means…”

 

“Don’t be afraid to meet her. Leen is not the kind of person who would ostracize her family because of what happened in the past.”

 

“Lord Kun, I’m not…”

 

Kun stood up from his seat without finishing Caris’s sentence.

 

“I won’t force you, just tell me when you’re ready. I’ll send a letter to Leen, inviting her to visit Abascanthus.”

 

🍃

 

“It’s been a hectic day…”

 

I let out a deep sigh and recalled the events of the day.

 

Once I realized that the Duke’s people had a ridiculous pregnancy and miscarriage misconception, I set out to clear it up.

 

I grabbed Carson’s hand and magically transported to the capital’s Duke House.

 

And then we cleared up the misunderstanding…

 

“What, you’re not having a miscarriage?”

 

“You were never pregnant in the first place?”

 

The Duchess and Duke exchange glances with their mouths open. There was something unsettling about that exchange of glances.

 

Those sad eyes that I’ve seen so many times before…

 

The Duchess gripped the hem of the Duke’s shirt with a faltering gaze.

 

Then the Duke nodded slightly and looked at me expectantly.

 

“Leen, don’t be shocked, listen.”

 

…No?

 

“I think you’ve lost your memory.”

 

I slapped my forehead. It’s the same as if anyone were to misunderstand and think they were Carson’s parents.

 

“Caon already made that assumption, and it’s not like I lost my memory from shock.”

 

“…I see.”

 

He doesn’t look like he believes me at all. This was going to be a long conversation.

 

After a period of explanation similar to the one I had with Carson,

 

“So you’re sure…”

 

“So nothing ever happened?”

 

“Yes. I’ve never had a miscarriage, never been pregnant.”

 

For a moment, the Duchess showed tears in her eyes and hugged me tightly.

 

“I’m so glad to hear that…”

 

“I’m sorry to have worried you.”

 

As I gently patted the Duchess’s back, I noticed the Duke’s eerie expression.

 

The Duke was grinding his teeth.

 

“The maid who started this whole misunderstanding…”

 

It was then. Hearing the muttering, the Duchess pulled her face away from mine and snapped.

 

“Is that important to you now?! Shouldn’t you be thankful that it wasn’t a big deal first!”

 

“Well, not that, Sylvia, I’m just as thankful that nothing happened to Leen…”

 

“Then shut up and come over here and give us a hug!”

 

And so I was embraced by the Duchess, and then doubly embraced by the Duke.

 

And that Carson was jealous and got between us, a fact I’m too ashamed to tell anyone.

 

Anyway, now that all misunderstandings had been cleared up, I was back in the Duchy of Lysianthus.

 

I washed up quickly and flopped down on my bed.

 

“…What.”

 

I felt very empty for some reason. The bed seemed bigger today.

 

Was it because it was a different bed?

 

It didn’t take me long to realize why.

 

After sleeping with Carson for over a week, it’s only natural that I’d feel empty trying to sleep alone.

 

I immediately sat up and headed for the full-length mirror. I was wearing a one-piece négligée with a slight ruffle and plenty of room in the arms.

 

“Hmm…”

 

I smiled mischievously and began to change.

 

The négligée looked plain, with no embellishments or frills. But the real beauty of this outfit was that the material was thin.

 

‘Very thin.’

 

Once I was ready, I grabbed a pillow and put on an innocent expression.

 

Then I headed straight to Carson’s room without a second thought.

 

His room was directly across the hall, so after a quick scan to make sure no one was in the hallway, I knocked on the door.

 

Knock, knock—

 

“Caon, it’s me.”

 

There was a bustle from inside, and a moment later, Carson opened the door and stepped out.

 

“Leen, what’s wrong…”

 

Carson’s eyes widened to the size of lanterns when he spotted me. He quickly pulled me into the room and slammed the door behind him.

 

“Leen!”

 

His face was turning red from the blush. I tilted my head, blinking in confusion.

 

“Caon, what’s wrong?”

 

I asked, and he couldn’t answer easily.

 

“Well, it’s just that.”

 

Unsure of how to handle the gaze, he finally averted his gaze from me.

 

The funny thing was, he couldn’t hide his instincts, and his eyes slowly drifted toward me.

 

Then he made direct eye contact with mine and looked away again in anger. I barely held back the laughter that threatened to burst out.

 

At that rate, I might as well just look him in the eye.

 

Carson’s throat cleared. It was only a swallow, but it had never sounded so loud today.

 

He gulped for a long moment before he finally decided to speak, squeezing his eyes shut tightly.

 

“Leen, you, what if someone else sees you…!”

 

“You’re not someone else, aren’t you, my lover?”

 

“That’s true, but ahhhh…!”

 

Carson let out a pained groan and covered his face with both hands. His small voice leaked through the cracks of his covered hands.

 

“So, what brings you to my room…?”

 

I smirked and said something that would prove to be either a blessing or a disaster for Carson.

 

“Nothing much, I just came to sleep with you like yesterday.”