I’m Not Doing This With A Friend Chapter 65

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Rex Begonia has visited me several times since then.

 

Other than that, he sends me lavender perfumed letters, and gifts me dresses and jewelry that I won’t wear.

 

‘I wish it had ended there.’

 

He never took my schedule into account, visiting the Count only when it suited him.

 

My aunt always gave him a strange smile when he came, and was always busy getting out of his way.

 

She seemed to misunderstand something when she saw that Rex Begonia came to see me unannounced.

 

Today, I had to endure his burdensome glare in the room when we were alone.

 

“How long do you think I’m going to cater to your every whim?”

 

“…What?” (Leen)

 

When had he ever catered to my mood? I wondered if perhaps I had missed it.

 

But it didn’t exist in my memory.

 

“I can give you everything. A room that doesn’t compare to your little lab. Luxurious furnishings. A maid who’s at your beck and call. Dresses? Jewelry? You name it.”

 

“And the Duchess’s seat?” (Leen)

 

Truth be told, the Duchess’s seat didn’t even remotely interest me.

 

But I knew it was something Rex Begonia could not give me.

 

“Other than that.”

 

I snorted, “You’re so quick to say you can give me everything.”

 

He had many half-siblings. He was the only male child born to a duchess, but the duke did not favor him.

 

To the Duke of Begonia, he was just one of his many children.

 

Even though he was now the heir apparent, he had not yet taken the title of Duke.

 

The current Duke of Begonia was too healthy to pass on the title. He didn’t know how the game would change as his siblings grew older.

 

Therefore, he needed to marry a young lady with a powerful background and gain the support of his family.

 

There was no way he could take me as a duchess.

 

“If you’ve had enough of my face, I’d like you to leave now. I have my own business to attend to.” (Leen)

 

“…”

 

I stared at him as he stared at me wordlessly, then rose to my feet.

 

Rex Begonia grabbed me by the arm. He learned how to use the sword.

 

He was three years older than me, and his grip was so forceful I couldn’t move.

 

“I’m getting a little annoyed.”

 

“You’ll pay for it.”

 

I think I’m already doing that. I smacked him rather roughly with the other hand that wasn’t caught.

 

“…Did you just hit me?”

 

For a moment, the expression vanished from Rex Begonia’s face, and his gaze flipped.

 

Oh…?

 

I couldn’t figure out what had just happened to me.

 

When I came to, I had fallen to the ground with my hands on my hips, and through my dazed mind, I could barely feel his shadow as he crept closer.

 

The sight of him standing in front of me now struck me with great terror.

 

I had always been raised in an atmosphere of boundless love, but I had never known malice this deep.

 

“Leen.”

 

I was afraid to see his face.

 

No, before that, I didn’t even have the strength to lift my head.

 

Instead, I wanted to run, and scream for help.

 

But fear had paralyzed everything.

 

“Leen. Can’t you hear me? I just called for you.”

 

When I didn’t respond, I heard the sound of something breaking and crashing around me.

 

All I could do was curl up in a ball and shiver.

 

After his anger subsided, he apologized to me belatedly.

 

“I’m sorry, I startled you, I guess I was too carried away.”

 

He laughed, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

 

“Sometimes my anger gets out of control. We’ve all been there, you understand that, right?”

 

I didn’t say anything in response. I just stared aimlessly ahead, tears streaming down my face.

He gently stroked my hair as it fell to the floor.

 

“I don’t think you’re in the mood to talk right now, so I’m going to leave. Don’t worry, I’ll make up for anything I broke today.”

 

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From that day on, the way Rex Begonia treated me completely changed.

 

He openly threatened me.

 

The connections between the current Duke of Begonia and the Count of Almeria were far more varied than I had realized.

 

The Count’s people were all I had left of my parents. There was no way I could have defied him.

 

Therefore, I decided to bury this matter forever.

 

Unfortunately though, or not, Rex Begonia has never done anything to make me see blood.

 

This means it shouldn’t be hard to hide this from the Count’s people, as long as I keep my mouth shut.

 

I marveled at such control, even when my eyes were red with rage.

 

Rex Begonia visited me often after that.

 

It was hard the first time he showed me his true colors, but the second time was easy.

 

He transformed into a demon whenever I did something he didn’t like.

 

I don’t know how much time passed like that.

 

I was alone with my misery, so I went to Erhan, partly on impulse.

 

But it was the wrong choice.

 

Erhan’s face was as cold as a midwinter frost when he heard my confession.

 

“And what is it about me that makes you say that? You want revenge?”

 

I stared at Erhan, stunned.

 

I didn’t want revenge. Furthermore, I just wanted him to listen to me and comfort me.

 

Erhan shoved my head with his index finger, sharply and unpleasantly.

 

“Listen. Rex is the heir to the Duchy of Begonia, and he’s going to be a future Duke. He’s not worthy of you.”

 

Do we have different worth…?

 

Who? Me, the family, or Rex Begonia, the other?

 

“Do you realize how much trouble I went through to build my relationship with Rex and his family, feeding and clothing and sheltering you, and now I want you to think about returning the favor.”

 

He continued, as if it was a relief to get the words out, “You think because my parents are so kind to you, you’re really their daughter. You’re a commoner with no parents. How dare you.”

 

Shock and betrayal stained my mind.

 

I never dreamed Erhan would think of me that way.

 

“Come to think of it, you’re a lot like your father, a natural orphan, and you’re equally parentless, aren’t you?”

 

The mention of my late father from Erhan’s lips sobered me up.

 

My heart, which had been pounding like crazy, went cold.

 

“Get out, and don’t ever come to me about this again.”

 

It was the moment the knot that bound them together as a family unraveled.

 

Something broken that could never be repaired.

 

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Erhan began to torment me subtly after I revealed the truth.

 

As if it was a good thing. Breaking my prized vials was a daily occurrence.

 

He repeated the childish act of stealing my homework, which I had done the day before class, every day.

 

He even took advantage of the fact that some of the herbs I was studying were poisonous and pretended to be poisoned.

 

Of course, the Count, and my aunt, believed me until the end.

 

The only thing that suffered was my reputation among the townspeople.

 

Such petty bullying paled in comparison to Rex Begonia. He didn’t have the brains to organize a ruse to harass me.

 

“It’s a good thing he’s only a single-minded bully.” 

 

It suddenly occurred to me. I wondered if his dislike for me began when I leaned on the Count, or even before.

 

A weak laugh escaped me.

 

“Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter.”

 

It wouldn’t change the fact that Erhan didn’t consider me family anyway.

 

As I found out later, he knew everything that had happened between me and Rex Begonia.

 

Was that all?

 

He hung around with Rex Begonia and chattered about me.

 

I was playing into Erhan’s hands, the man I considered family. My life was like a caged bird.

 

I paid a trusted acquaintance for a recording pen.

 

As if reacting to the conditions, I broke out in a cold sweat and shivered as I held the recording pen.

 

There was always Rex Begonia in front of me when I started recording.

 

In fact, even if I recorded something, there was no way I would ever play it to the Count and my aunt.

But I recorded it anyway, mostly for the future. And partly because I wanted to be comforted.

 

Someday.

 

I hoped that one day I would have someone I could tell everything to.

 

Someone I could cry and tell about my pain, my struggles, everything.

 

I wanted to find someone who could cover up the horrible memories.

 

I didn’t want to burden my brother, Luca. 

 

My aunt was fragile. She would collapse from shock if she knew what had happened to me.

 

The Count loved his family more than anyone.

 

If he heard the recording, he would take this matter formally to the Duke of Begonia.

 

That’s not what I would wish.

 

There was nothing the Count could gain from a conflict with the Duke of Begonia.

 

“I am enough of a troublemaker.” 

 

If I keep my mouth shut. If I were the only one to sacrifice myself, the Count could have the peace he’d been seeking.

 

In truth, killing Rex Begonia would be far too easy.

 

I had dozens of poisons at my disposal. What kept me from doing so was protecting what I had left.

 

The only people I have left. My aunt, the Count, Luca.

 

And my family.

 

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“I’ve changed my mind.”

 

I stared at Rex Begonia, still. He seemed in a rare good mood.

 

“Good. You win. You’re so stubborn, Leen.”

 

He stroked my cheek gently. I shivered, feeling a snake crawl up my body.

 

“You’re rejecting me like this because I offered you a position as a concubine instead of my true wife, right?”

 

Rex Begonia’s eyes twisted savagely. His low voice pierced her eardrums.

 

“I will make you a Duchess. I’m not lying, I’ll get you a seat at my side somehow. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

 

I never wanted the duchess’s seat. I was desperate for him to stay out of my life.

 

His words sent chills down my spine.

 

It meant he wanted me enough to take the risk of putting me in the seat next to him.