I’m Not Doing This With A Friend Chapter 80

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“When should I confess?”

 

Sitting at my desk in my dorm, I pondered.

 

The semester must be over, and I wondered if my recent flirtation with Carson was the reason.

 

He seemed to have noticed if only a little. Before I’m completely convinced that I like him, I want to confess.

 

Now that I think about it, the money I got from Hans was a lot more than I expected.

 

‘Maybe I’ll buy a ring and tell him.’

 

“…I’m just asking him to be my date, but it seems like such a big deal.”

 

Suddenly, I remembered a note taped to the inside of my cabinet.

 

<Don’t you wonder where Jane worked when she was off school?>

 

I don’t know who wrote it or what it was about.

 

Instead, I pretended I hadn’t seen anything.

 

It was a guess, but I thought it might have something to do with Jane saying she had something to tell me.

 

“When is she going to tell me?”

 

Thinking about this, I was trying to organize my cluttered desk.

 

I picked up a marble that was rolling around randomly on my desk. It was a disposable recording bead that was used in a recording pen.

 

I realized that it hadn’t served its purpose.

 

“What a waste.”

 

I accidentally pressed the button on my recording pen and the beads were full even though I hadn’t recorded anything.

 

So I replaced the beads in the pen with new ones and put it back on my desk.

 

“I’m bored, let’s see what it recorded…”

 

After taking a deep breath, I carefully infused the bead with mana.

 

Playing the recording was always a nerve-wracking experience.

 

Soon enough, the voice stored in the orb began to play.

 

🍃

 

 

It was a day before the start of the new semester at Arena Academy.

 

The next day was the first day of school, and Jane, as well as Leen, had moved into the dormitory.

 

Jane was lying on her bed, reading the gossip paper, when she put her hand in her pocket out of habit.

 

She felt a strange object. Something felt familiar in her hand. It was a small note.

 

Glancing back at Leen, who was concentrating on her herbs, she surreptitiously opened the note.

 

<Roof of Building D. Two o’clock.>

 

She casually slipped the note back into her pocket, checked her watch, and stood up.

“Leen, I’m going to the market.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“I’ll be back soon, so don’t worry.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Oh, by the way, since I couldn’t be bothered to take it out of my bag, do you mind if I borrow a pen?”

 

“Sure.”

 

It’s a seemingly dismissive answer, but Jane’s lips curl into a smile.

 

When Leen starts to look at the herbs, she falls into a trance and doesn’t see much else. It’s a good thing she answered after all she’s been through.

 

And cute, too.

 

Jane looked at Leen with a loving gaze, then grabbed a pen from her desk.

 

Then she pulled on her coat and headed out the door.

 

She paused for a moment, using the pen she had borrowed from Leen to reply to the note.

 

<I’m on my way.> 

 

The note disappeared as if by magic.

 

After giving it a casual glance, Jane slipped the pen into her pocket.

 

Click—

 

Not realizing that she’d pressed something when she put the pen away, she turned on her heel and headed for the roof of Building D.

 

She pushed open the door to the roof and was greeted by a familiar face.

 

“Master Carson.”

 

Carson leaned lazily against the railing and shook his head at Jane. In return, Jane bowed her head in apology.

 

“I apologize, please. I’ve only been in the dormitory a short time, so I don’t have anything else to report.”

 

“You don’t need to, I was with her every day over vacation.”

 

Every day?

 

Leen hadn’t pushed him away? She’d tried so hard to walk a fine line in front of Carson.

 

Now pushing the boundaries of being friends?

 

Before he had a chance to answer the question, Carson spoke.

 

“And…today is the last time you will have to report to me about Leen.”

 

Jane’s eyes widened at the words.

 

Her eyes light up with amusement, but then darken as if she’s realized something, and all her muscles tense.

 

“That, means I owe you a debt that was paid before…”

 

Am I supposed to leave the Academy to earn money like before?

 

All of a sudden, without even saying goodbye? What about Leen? What about the others?

 

My dream of opening a boutique after graduating from the academy?

 

As he watched her panic, Carson spoke softly.

 

“Forget the money.”

 

Jane felt her body tighten and relax.

 

“Ha— haha.”

 

Jane couldn’t help but laugh at her contempt. She was disgusted with herself for worrying more about the money than the fact that she no longer had to sell Leen’s information.

 

Carson looked at her impassively.

 

As if whatever she was feeling was irrelevant to him.

 

Jane buried her face in her hands and asked, “May I ask why you quit so suddenly?”

 

“Leen doesn’t like it.”

 

“What…?”

 

Surprised, she lowered her hand and looked at Carson, his face still blank.

 

“She hates the idea of someone watching her every move.”

 

“Did Leen tell you about this?”

 

“No. It just came up in conversation.”

 

Carson squinted down one eye. There was a faint hint of regret in his eyes.

 

“I knew she wouldn’t like me prying for information. I just did it because I liked it.”

 

‘Because I wanted to know more about her, if only a little.’

 

Carson muttered bitterly as he added the small addition.

 

“I thought I could get away with it as long as I didn’t get caught… but the moment I heard that, I knew I couldn’t keep working with you anymore.”

 

For the first time, Jane was shocked to see his human side.

 

She couldn’t believe he was telling her so much about himself.

 

Normally, he wouldn’t have even allowed Jane to ask questions.

 

Perhaps it was because he was such a stranger, but she couldn’t help herself.

 

“Do you love Leen?”

 

Carson tilted his head leisurely at her.

 

“How does she look in your eyes?”

 

“Ah…”

 

It wasn’t even worth the question. His eyes belonged to someone who was already firmly in love.

 

If not that, then who could change him like that?

 

🍃

 

Jane was a maid in the service of the Duke of Lisianthus.

 

A position that required her to serve at the Duchess’s side and often be her riding companion.

 

She attended Arena Academy as a junior, but her studies were interrupted by her father’s business failures.

 

She was forced to help pay off the family’s debts.

 

Fortunately, the Duchess was not demanding and knew how to take care of her own.

 

The Duke of Lisianthus worried her, but he wasn’t as scary as rumored when the Duchess was around.

 

Jane had a pretty good time working for the Duke.

 

The thought of not graduating from the academy still made her bitter, but she was beginning to think she could work here for the rest of her life.

 

It wasn’t long after Arena Academy opened that an unexpected offer came her way.

 

“Did you say you went to the academy and then took a leave of absence?”

 

When Carson, the family’s top scoundrel, spoke, Jane felt nervous, perhaps slightly uncharacteristically.

 

He should be in the middle of a semester right now, so how could he be in the mansion?

 

“Uh, yeah. First semester of my senior year.”

 

“That’s good. You should go back to school.”

 

“What?”

 

It was the kind of blunt order that only a person of character could give. Jane bowed her head and answered as politely as she could.

 

“I’m sorry, sir, but I have a family debt to pay, so I can’t return to school.”

 

Jane chewed her lip as she finished speaking. She suddenly felt sorry for herself.

 

“I’ll pay off your debt.”

 

He spat out the words, casually offering to pay back the large sum of money.

 

The money she was making now was barely enough to pay a month’s interest.

 

She raised her lowered head to look at Carson.

 

“Instead, I need you to go to the Academy and do something for me.”

 

Jane’s eyes flickered.

 

‘I could go to the Academy and pay off the debt.’

 

The idea was so tempting that I swallowed hard. But I had to hear more.

 

If it was beyond my capabilities, it would be like eating a bad persimmon.

 

“There’s not much I can do for you, other than be a bit quick on my feet and a gossip.”

 

The corners of Carson’s mouth twist upward.

 

“That’s good enough.”

 

What she was ordered to do by Carson was not difficult.

 

It was not dangerous, nor was it anything that would undermine her dignity as a human being.

 

All I needed to do was get to know Leen and send him her information periodically.

 

“Why do you need Leen’s information?”

 

After much deliberation, I finally asked the question.

 

I didn’t think I’d get an answer, but to my surprise, he told me.

 

His cheeks flushed a little, unnaturally.

 

“I like her.”

 

He’s crazy, I thought. But I was lucky he was crazy. It made it easier to pay off my debt.

 

As luck would have it, he’d gotten her into the same dorm as she did.

 

At first, she didn’t feel guilty about it.

 

I felt pity for her, wondering how she could have fallen for a madman like Carson.

 

“But it’s not like I’m doing her any actual harm.”

 

If I sold my conscience, I could save both the Academy and my family’s debts at the same time.

 

No one but a fool would turn down this offer.

 

Or so I thought…

 

Leen was more charming than anyone could have imagined.

 

I found myself mesmerized by her charms. The next thing I knew, I was best friends with her.

 

As I got to know Leen, I felt guilty like never before.

 

It was…

 

This was not the kind of thing a friend would do.

 

A vague sense of dread washed over me. I didn’t want to be estranged from Leen.

 

‘I don’t want to be hated by Leen.’

 

‘But if I tell her, what will happen to the debt I owe Carson?’

 

‘Even if I tell Leen, will she forgive me?’

 

And so forth.

 

Amid these precarious feelings, I made my way to the appointed place at Carson’s call.

 

I don’t have to report about Leen anymore. No more debts to pay.

 

At first, I was thrilled that I no longer had to deceive her.

 

But every time I saw the look of trust in Leen’s eyes afterward, I found it hard to breathe.

 

I’ve been deceiving her for a year, even though I know it’s over.

 

‘I didn’t deserve that trust.’

 

And so it was.

 

It was only then that I realized I had to admit that I had been deceiving her.

 

Jane waited for the right moment to speak up.

 

One day, Leen seemed in a good mood and I didn’t want to ruin it.

 

Some days she looked depressed and didn’t want to add to her worries.

 

Tomorrow there’s a note test.

 

There’s a conference coming up soon. 

 

Day after day, I made excuses to delay it.

 

After learning the truth, I was afraid that Leen would stop seeing me forever. And so it came to this.

 

Jane stared at Leen’s stern face.

 

The recording in Leen’s hand played the voice of Carson and herself talking.

 

“Please explain, Jane.”