Chapter 13
The second fainting spell was brief.
“……!”
I abruptly opened my eyes. Then I hurriedly looked around, trying to figure out what was going on.
‘Where am I? An apothecary? My room? Or, this time… the afterlife?’
Then the last scene came rushing back to me.
The teacup that had come flying at me with all its might, as though she were determined to settle this once and for all.
Did it hit me or not? I couldn’t say for certain. The only thing I knew for sure was that I had passed out before I could find out. I had been startled into unconsciousness by the sound of the teacup breaking, after all…
…The teacup broke?
I hurriedly felt around my head.
But surprisingly, my head was perfectly fine. And not just my head. I checked my arms, legs, and various other parts of my body, but there wasn’t a single broken bone.
What the hell? At that force, surely at least one of my bones should’ve been broken, so how was I completely fine?
“Are you awake?”
“Gasp…!”
Suddenly, a face popped into view, and I shot my upper body upright in surprise.
The face directly in front of me came into view.
“…Brother Im?”
Brother Im, the gatekeeper of Sonangwon, was there. More precisely, he was looking down at me, who was sprawled out in front of the gate. When I spoke, Brother Im answered with an even brighter expression.
“Yeah, you okay? Good thing you came to so quickly. I was wondering whether I should call the Head Steward, but since you woke up on your own, you’ve saved me the trouble.”
“Huh?”
“Tsk, tsk. What did you do this time to pass out and come stumbling out again? I was so surprised when I saw you sprawled out in the courtyard. Still, thank goodness the Young Lady sent you out peacefully.”
“Huh?”
W-What? Was I sprawled out in the courtyard? I was definitely inside the Young Lady’s room when I passed out.
…Did the Young Lady throw me out into the courtyard?
While I was still bewildered, Brother Im looked me up and down. Then, looking somewhat exasperated, he lowered his voice.
“You really are something. I don’t know whether to call you impressive or reckless. The thing is…”
“……”
“…I didn’t hear anything, okay?”
What didn’t you hear?
Then a certain memory flashed through my mind.
A loud voice that even Brother Im outside could hear.
That was mine. Right before the Young Lady threw the teacup.
‘I love you, Young Lady!’
“Gasp…!”
A chill instantly ran through my entire body.
Come to think of it, that’s right.
I confessed to the Young Lady!
‘Oh, shit!’
Why the hell did I do that…?!
If I had to make one excuse, it wasn’t sincere. I mean, the Young Lady kept demanding that I tell her what I wanted, so while trying to somehow come up with a reason to stay by her side, it had just slipped out before I knew it…
‘I’m screwed.’
How the hell was I supposed to fix this?!
As I groaned and tugged at my hair, Brother Im seemed to misunderstand my actions and gave a sly grin.
“…You’re quite something, kid. To be harboring those kinds of feelings at your age. You’re quite the little rascal, aren’t you? No wonder you kept clinging to her like that.”
“Ueh…?”
“Normally, if someone gets beaten that badly, they’d give up and leave. But you didn’t. Of course, it’s not as though there haven’t been people like you before. But there’s something a little different about you.”
“Different?”
Brother Im nodded and muttered.
“Yeah, your eyes are different. Most people who harbor ulterior feelings toward the Young Lady have murky eyes. It’s as though they’ve been possessed by a ghost, with no focus in them…”
‘No focus?’
When I tilted my head in confusion, Brother Im lowered his voice even further.
“In that sense, the Young Lady has a part where she’s been wronged, too. She wasn’t deliberately acting vicious. Most of those people lost their wits and tried to approach the Young Lady, and that’s what caused all those incidents.”
“Things like that happened…?”
“But the Head Steward absolutely forbids anyone from letting this get out, so he just keeps sweeping it under the rug… Ahem, anyway, you need to keep your mouth shut too. Got it?”
“Yes, yes.”
Is it really okay to tell me something like this?
I couldn’t help feeling uneasy about what exactly Brother Im trusted me so much with, but he continued speaking as casually as ever.
“Yeah, anyway, at first I thought you were the same as them. Seeing you charging at her like a colt with its reins cut, I thought you’d been completely bewitched. But your eyes are completely different, aren’t they?”
“Haha…”
“So I wondered what could possibly make you go that far, and you had those kinds of feelings? Heh heh, kid, you’ve become a real man. A real man.”
I’m a woman, though.
But I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. Brother Im had already completely misunderstood me. He even went on to say this:
“Have some confidence, kid. From what I can tell, I don’t think the Young Lady actually dislikes you that much. Just look at how much she’s let you off until now. Your big brother is rooting for you, okay?”
‘Rooting for what?’
The confession itself was a lie!
And the part about the Young Lady not disliking me was wrong too. Who the hell throws teacups at someone like they’re trying to kill them if they don’t dislike them?
‘Although I am unharmed…’
…Could it actually be true? That the Young Lady didn’t dislike me? Was that why she let me off this time too?
‘I don’t know.’
Only the Young Lady knew the truth. And if I wanted to find out the truth, I’d have to go back to Sonangwon.
I looked at the gate of Sonangwon with trembling eyes. Honestly, after making such a bombshell declaration, I didn’t want to go back, but I couldn’t give up now either.
‘So much is riding on this.’
In other words, if I wanted to stay here, I had to clean up the mess I’d made.
“Brother Im, thank you!”
I confidently jumped to my feet.
Then I started walking toward Sonangwon…
…No, I went in the opposite direction.
‘Tomorrow.’
For now, it was a strategic retreat.
***
The next day.
I stood in front of Sonangwon once again, holding a bowl of medicinal decoction.
That night, after going home and calmly sorting through my thoughts, I had reached the following conclusion.
‘Apologize.’
I should sincerely apologize for the nonsense I’d spouted.
No matter how much I thought about it, that was the only way.
I had no confidence that I could keep pretending to like the Young Lady after carrying a lie like that any further, and now that I thought about it, she must have been incredibly uncomfortable.
Wouldn’t she have been? Some ugly bastard who kept pestering her despite having no interest in him had now gone so far as to confess that he liked her…
‘I’d hate it too.’
As a woman, I could fully understand the Young Lady’s feelings, so I resolved to sincerely apologize.
Thus, I mustered up every last bit of courage I had and walked into Sonangwon. When I reached the Young Lady’s room, I took a moment to catch my breath.
When I finally managed to open my mouth…
“Young Lady, I’ve brought your medi–”
Crash!
‘W-What?’
I widened my eyes in surprise. Then I heard someone approaching the door, followed by a flustered voice from inside.
“You… you… Why are you here?”
“Huh?”
Am I not supposed to come here?
Bewildered, I answered anyway.
“It’s my job to tend to the Young Lady’s medicine, isn’t it? I came to work today too…”
“That’s not what I mean…!”
The Young Lady’s voice suddenly dropped.
“You… Don’t you remember what I said yesterday?”
“Huh?”
“I told you clearly, didn’t I? That I didn’t even want to look at a lowly wretch like you. That just seeing an ignorant fool like you who can’t even understand his place makes me sick, and that you should get out of here immediately!”
“Oh, right. You did. You did.”
I hurriedly nodded, timing my response.
Now. I had to apologize.
I had to tell her that what I said yesterday had been a slip of the tongue. That I was sorry for putting her in such an awkward position!
“Young Lady, about what I said yesterday…”
“You’re playing games with me?”
“Huh?”
I blinked blankly.
“A person can be oblivious, but there are limits. Why the hell did you come here again? Did you really come here because you don’t know, or did you pretend not to know and come anyway?”
No, I came to apologize…
“Looking at you yesterday, there’s something sly about you. You knew exactly what you were doing when you came here, didn’t you? You know how angry I’d get if you came here. What, did you come here again to slowly get on my nerves and extort more money from me?”
I need to apologize…
“What on earth do you think you have to be so arrogant? Is there something you’re relying on? What, do you have some secret about your birth? If not, what gives you the nerve to crawl up here and court death like this?”
I need to apologize…
“Do you want to die like last time? Or perhaps… you think I can’t touch you anymore? Don’t make me laugh! I felt a little sorry for you, so I let you off, and now you’re treating me like a pushover? Do you want me to crack your head open again?!”
I can’t apologize, can I?
I stared blankly at the Young Lady… or rather, the door, as she started rapping once again, and thought.
‘This isn’t something an apology can fix.’
Brother Im’s claim that the Young Lady didn’t dislike me that much had been complete bullshit. Even from her voice alone, it was painfully obvious that right now, she couldn’t stand the sight of me.
If I apologized in a situation like this? Knowing the Young Lady, she’d probably dismiss me with, ‘Sorry? Then go die somewhere.’
…No, she’d definitely say that. The Young Lady absolutely would.
‘Damn it, what do I do?’
My legs trembled.
I couldn’t apologize. But I couldn’t obediently leave either.
Then what I had to choose was…
“Why aren’t you saying anything? Where did that mouth that blabbered on so shamelessly yesterday go? Or don’t tell me… you’re going to say something like that again? Ha, as if. How could anyone with a brain say something like that? Unless you’re completely insane…!”
“Yes, I’m insane.”
This was the only option.
“Insane about you, Young Lady♥”
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