Chapter 5
After that, Mother tried to treat me even better.
As if she had taken on an obligation to do so, as if she couldn’t bear it otherwise, she went out of her way to pretend everything was fine while desperately trying to do even more for me.
“Danna, you’re back? How are you feeling? You’re still not completely recovered, so I’m worried.”
“Mrs. Pyo said they slaughtered a chicken today and gave us some of it. I’ve been waiting so we could eat it together, Danna. Come, sit down.”
“Do you remember these marks? I used to mark them every time you grew taller, remember? You used to keep saying you wanted to grow taller than your mother… Shall we mark you again while we’re at it?”
Being showered with Mother’s endless affection made me feel embarrassed and burdened at the same time. It was even more so because I knew that I wasn’t actually the person that affection was meant for. But I knew Mother would be hurt if I showed it, so I did my best to hide my feelings.
And sometimes, I found myself wondering.
‘Where did the real Seo Dan go?’
It wasn’t as though I could feel another soul inside me like in some novel, nor had I experienced any sensation of my body being switched.
It was simply that, while this body moved as naturally as if it were my own, thoughts like that occasionally crossed my mind.
‘Perhaps the real Seo Dan is already…’
“Danna? Was it really hard today? Your complexion doesn’t look good… Are you feeling unwell anywhere? Your head doesn’t hurt again, does it?”
I quickly came to my senses and smiled.
“No. I guess it was just because work was a little tiring. I had to be busy from the morning today.”
“I see. If you’re tired, do you want to lie down for a while?”
“I’m fine! More importantly, Mother, do you know what I bought today? Ta-da! Meat! Uncle Hwang gave me some extra money today. He told me to use it to buy something delicious and eat it with you…”
That night, Mother and I had meat together for the first time in a while and spent a pleasant evening.
And the next day.
“Mother, then I’ll be off–.”
“Danna, wait a moment.”
I stopped just as I was about to head outside. Unlike usual, Mother was approaching me carrying something.
“Try this on.”
I looked at what Mother was holding out to me. It was a neatly folded set of clothes.
“Your clothes are so worn out now. I’ve been making these whenever I had a little spare time, and I only managed to finish them last night…”
“Ah…”
So that’s why she’d been going to bed late lately.
I awkwardly scratched my head.
“Aw, I’ll just get them dirty while cleaning the latrines anyway. There’s no need to wear new clothes…”
“You silly child. Whatever kind of work you do, you have to dress neatly if you don’t want people to dislike you. Is there some rule saying that a person who cleans latrines isn’t allowed to dress cleanly?”
“Well…”
“Go on, put them on and come show me.”
Unable to resist Mother’s insistence, I returned to my room.
It wasn’t until I had quickly changed and stood before her that Mother smiled softly with satisfaction.
“They suit you so well. Why didn’t you want to wear them? Do they fit properly? I made them a little loose, thinking about how much Danna would grow, but I wasn’t sure if they’d be all right.”
“They’re fine. They’re comfortable!”
“Really? That’s a relief. Then…”
Mother took a step toward me. Then she pulled me tightly into her arms and said,
“Come home safely today too, my baby.”
I held my breath in Mother’s warm embrace. I squeezed my eyes shut as I heard the sound of her heart beating rapidly beside my ear. For some reason, my heart ached a little.
Now that I think about it, let me tell you a little about my life in my previous life…
I had no family.
To be precise, I had one, and then they disappeared.
My parents divorced when I was very young. In the end, my father obtained custody of me, but it wasn’t because he wanted me either. My mother, who had cheated on him, had already started another family and declared that she absolutely couldn’t take me with her.
So my father eventually left me with my paternal grandmother. For a while at first, my father came to see me.
When I was young, I was happy even with my father’s rare visits. I would pester my grandmother every day, asking, ‘When is Dad coming again?’ But one day, my father stopped coming. The next time I finally saw him was after my grandmother died.
“Dad’s getting remarried.”
My father hadn’t even shown up at the funeral. He only appeared when it was time to sort out my grandmother’s estate. After taking the title to the modest house, my father suddenly announced this to me.
“You can take care of yourself, right? I’m going to rent this place out, so I’d like you to leave as soon as possible.”
“….”
“I hope we don’t have any reason to see each other anymore.”
For some reason, I felt something rising up in my throat. But I didn’t understand why I felt that way, nor what this emotion was. So I suppressed my feelings and merely gave him a faint smile.
“Yes.”
I never saw my family again after that.
I’d once considered going to look for my mother, but I gave up after that day. Somehow, I had a feeling that even if I went to find her, the same thing would happen all over again.
Only then did I realize what the emotion I’d felt was. It wasn’t anger, disappointment, sadness, or resignation.
Perhaps it was loneliness…
“Danna?”
But all of that was in the past now.
I had a family of my own now too.
Even if it was someone else’s family.
That was why I wanted to treat her even better.
I wanted to become someone precious to her, even if it meant filling the place of the daughter she had loved.
I wanted to become a real member of her family, even though I wasn’t her real daughter…
“Mm-hm, it’s nothing.”
I smiled brightly.
“I just like wearing my new clothes. I’ll take good care of them.”
“You don’t have to be so careful with them. If they wear out, your mother can just make you another set. Actually, I wanted to make you a skirt, but I couldn’t…”
“Aw, I’m happy with these. You can make me a skirt when I’ve grown bigger. Right?”
“Yes, let’s do that.”
Mother and I smiled at each other.
Then we noticed that the sky was gradually brightening, so I got ready to leave again.
“I’ll be going now. Mother, don’t overdo things either, and make sure you take care of yourself, okay?”
“Oh, you. How long are you going to worry about me?”
“Just in case. Then I’m really going now.”
Only then did I step outside. Then I suddenly turned back toward Mother and called out loudly.
“Mother, thank you for the clothes!”
I could see Mother smiling from a distance.
That sight remained in my memory for quite some time.
***
As soon as I arrived at the Xiao Family Manor, the first thing I did was look for somewhere to change my clothes.
Mother had told me to keep myself clean wherever I went, but that was impossible. Given the nature of my work, I couldn’t avoid getting my clothes dirty.
‘I have to take good care of these.’
Mother had gone to all the trouble of making them for me, so it would be such a waste to dirty them immediately. So, as I looked around for a suitable place and surveyed my surroundings–
“Waaah…!”
At the sudden sound of crying, I turned my head.
Looking carefully, I saw a small figure in the distance. More precisely, it was a young girl crouched behind the corner of a building.
‘What is this?’
The girl looked very young at a glance and was wearing the clothes worn by the Xiao Family Manor’s female servants. With her chubby cheeks that still hadn’t lost their baby fat and her hair tied up in twin buns, she looked rather cute.
But perhaps because she’d been crying so hard, her eyes were swollen and red, which naturally made me feel sorry for her.
Before I knew it, I opened my mouth.
“Is something wrong?”
At my call, the maid lifted her head. Then, upon spotting me, her rabbit-like eyes went round.
“Dungdong?”
Dungdong… A ‘shit child.’
That was the term used here to refer to me, the child who cleaned up shit.
“That’s right. Why are you crying so much?”
I nodded and put on a friendly smile. But at my smile, the girl’s expression soured even further.
“What does it have to do with you? You stink, so don’t talk to me!”
What the hell was wrong with this rude little brat?
But actually, that sort of reaction was fairly normal.
To be precise, it wasn’t because of me, but because of my occupation as a ‘shit carrier.’ Because the nature of the job meant I carried an extraordinary stench, most people were reluctant to come anywhere near me.
‘Still, being ignored feels pretty bad.’
I smacked my lips and said,
“Ah, okay… Then keep crying over there. I have to go to work, so you can stay there or not, whatever…”
“Wait!”
When I turned around without hesitation, the girl hurriedly called me back. I glanced over my shoulder, and the girl hesitated before speaking quietly.
“…I-it’s okay if you sit farther away.”
“Huh? I can’t hear you very well.”
“I said it’s… okay…”
“Ah, geez. I can’t even come closer because I’m afraid I’ll smell like shit. What am I supposed to do… How about you say it a little louder?”
“Just go away!”
And so I ended up hearing her story.
The girl’s name was Aso. She was a maid who did miscellaneous chores such as laundry and cleaning.
Aso had been returning after doing the laundry as usual when a group of female servants suddenly called out to her. Then they told Aso to take this medicine and go somewhere immediately.
“Where?”
“Xiao Lady’s Residence.”
“Gasp.”
I instinctively covered my mouth.
Where was the Xiao Lady’s Residence?
It was the place where the Xiao Family Manor’s precious jewel and <The Lord of Heavenly Pillars>’s only villainess, Xiao Yanli, lived.
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