***
After that, I died nine more times.
Each time, I met my inevitable end.
But my tenth life was different.
At last, I discovered a way to formulate a medicine that could temporarily alleviate the symptoms of my illness.
Thanks to that, as soon as I opened my eyes this time, I prepared the medicine according to the combination I had memorized and used acupuncture to unblock my clogged meridians.
But this is only a temporary solution.
The medicinal herbs I had now wouldn’t allow me to hold out for long.
I needed to obtain better-quality herbs before my body developed a resistance to them.
The problem was that all of the precious medicinal herbs belonging to the Yakryeong Family were stored in the central medicinal storehouse.
Only those who had passed the official examination and been appointed as medical disciples were permitted to enter.
Since the herbs were directly related to life and death, no exceptions were allowed.
As I had not yet become a medical disciple, I had no right to enter.
I need to find another way.
Bang—!
Just as I was lost in thought, the door was roughly thrown open.
“Young Lady!”
Hongdan entered once again, carrying a bowl of cold herbal medicine.
“Huh? What is this? You still haven’t finished everything?”
I had already picked out only the herbs I needed to make my medicine and left the rest untouched.
Apparently mistaking it for work that I was still sorting through, Hongdan slammed the bowl down and crossed her arms.
“I knew you were a dying girl, but you’re so slow.”
She shook her head as if I were pathetic.
She was always like this.
After my grandfather and father left the family, even the servants looked down on me.
They knew that, crushed beneath an unbearable sense of guilt, I wouldn’t dare say anything.
Hongdan was particularly vicious.
“I’m going to get some sleep, so wake me up when you’re done. If you haven’t finished by then, Young Master will come, so keep that in mind.”
As if it were her own room, Hongdan climbed onto my bed and pulled the silk blanket over herself.
“Yaaawn…”
After stretching and wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes, she lazily waved a hand at me.
“Young Lady.”
I didn’t answer.
But Hongdan continued as though she naturally expected me to obey.
“Go close the window. The wind is coming in.”
I slowly walked toward Hongdan.
Apparently hearing me approach, she added with her eyes tightly shut,
“Oh, and bring me some water over there, too. I’m thirsty—ahh!”
Splash—!
The lukewarm herbal medicine was poured directly over Hongdan’s head.
“Pfft! Ptooey! Ah!”
Hongdan spat out the medicine that had gotten into her mouth and shot upright with a scream.
Her hair was soaked with the dark, murky liquid, and black stains spread across her clothes.
“W-What are you…!”
I stood beside the bed and looked down at her with an expressionless face.
Hongdan stared at me with wide, disbelieving eyes.
Of course she couldn’t believe it.
The me from before would never have dared to do something like this.
I dropped the bowl I had been holding.
Crash—!
“Ah!”
The empty bowl shattered noisily against the floor.
Sharp fragments scattered everywhere, and the bed was soaked with herbal medicine.
But I’m different now.
When I took a step closer, Hongdan instinctively backed away.
But she soon hit the wall and had nowhere else to go.
“Y-Young Lady! Why are you doing this?!”
I met her eyes and spoke quietly.
“What are you doing? Aren’t you going to get up?”
“W-What…?”
Hongdan’s lips trembled.
“You need to clean this up.”
I looked down at the soaked bed.
“It’s dirty. My bed is dirty.”
Hongdan stared at me with bewilderment in her eyes.
I slightly furrowed my brows and looked around.
As I searched for something else to throw, my eyes landed on a large porcelain vase placed there as decoration.
The moment I put my hand on the vase—
“You’re really—!”
Only then did Hongdan reveal her true colors.
She hurriedly got up and shoved me hard.
Thud—!
Even though I had taken medicine, my body was still as frail and thin as a sheet of paper.
One push was enough to send me tumbling backward.
Unfortunately, I fell onto the floor littered with ceramic fragments.
The sharp pieces scraped across my palm and various parts of my body.
And then—
The door suddenly burst open, and a familiar voice rang out.
“What is all this commotion?”
Hongdan’s face instantly brightened.
“Young Master!”
She looked delighted, as though a lifeline had descended from heaven.
I looked down at my bleeding palm, pierced by the ceramic shards, before turning my head.
Light brown hair with a slight curl.
Sharp eyes and the green eyes characteristic of the Yakryeong Family.
The person who had entered through the door was Yeon Dopyeong, my uncle’s son.
“Hey, dying girl!”
Yeon Dopyeong frowned as he looked at the medicine spilled across the floor.
“Did you do this?”
Hongdan hurriedly interrupted with tears welling in her eyes.
“Yes, that’s right! Young Lady did this to me—!”
“It’s a good thing you came, Older Brother.”
I endured the pain and stood up, cutting Hongdan off.
“What?”
Whenever he came to check on my work because I was late, I used to lower my head and apologize.
But this time was different.
When I met Yeon Dopyeong’s eyes with a gaze completely unlike before, a flicker of confusion crossed his face.
“I actually had something to say to you.”
I pointed at the messy pile of medicinal herbs with my index finger.
“From now on, you should do your own work.”
“Hey, what the hell are you talking about…?”
Yeon Dopyeong asked with a blank expression.
“The herb sorting you dumped on me, and your exam preparations. From now on, do all of them yourself.”
I made it perfectly clear to him.
“They were all things you were supposed to do yourself in the first place.”
In the past, when my self-esteem was at its lowest, I was afraid of Yeon Dopyeong.
If I fell out of his favor and he caused trouble for me, word would reach my father, who was already suffering because of me.
Then I felt as though I would only become an even greater burden to him.
I hated that so much that I tried to do their work for them every day.
Even with a body that was barely functioning.
But now I know.
I knew how foolish I had been.
After experiencing countless regressions, I had lived far longer than the Yeon Dopyeong standing before me.
And I had learned that, if I wanted to protect myself, I couldn’t keep watching other people’s eyes and bending myself to their wishes.
I had to stand firmly on my own.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
Of course, Yeon Dopyeong wasn’t going to meekly accept my words.
“You seem to be feeling pretty good today.”
He soon shrugged as though it were nothing important.
“Even if you act like this, you’re still going to get kicked out of the family if you—huh?”
Slowly.
Without saying a word, I opened my palm.
Blood was seeping from the cuts left by the ceramic fragments.
Yeon Dopyeong’s gaze wavered ever so slightly when he saw it.
“Are you hurt?”
“Yes. I’m bleeding, so I need first aid.”
I stared directly at Yeon Dopyeong.
“You do it for me.”
I held out my injured hand, and Yeon Dopyeong opened his mouth before closing it again.
I slowly stepped closer.
Close enough that the blood dripping from my fingertips stained the sleeve of his martial robe.
“Are you crazy? Why would I?! There are other physicians who can—”
“If you’re a member of the Yakryeong Family, you should at least be capable of treating an injury like this.”
I quietly added,
“If you have any talent.”
“……!”
Yeon Dopyeong’s pupils shook violently.
That reaction alone was enough.
My guess had been correct.
“Well, if you really don’t want to, then I can’t force you.”
I withdrew my injured hand.
“Older Brother, surely you know the absolute rule of the Yakryeong Family.”
Yeon Dopyeong flinched.
Of course. He had nothing to say.
In the medical family known as the Yakryeong Family, there was only one absolute rule.
“The patient comes first.”
Just by looking at my current situation, anyone could tell how thoroughly that rule had been abandoned.
But things would be different in front of the family head.
Having pointed out the facts without the slightest hesitation, I watched as Yeon Dopyeong’s eyes visibly darkened.
“You only come into my room because Uncle ordered you to check on me, a patient, don’t you?”
Most people who inherited the bloodline of Yakryeong were naturally gifted in medicine.
But my uncle, who was currently acting as the head of the family, had little time to spare because he was busy managing the family.
My father’s older sister’s son, another strong candidate for the next family head, was also busy with lessons and training.
That was why Yeon Dopyeong, who was known to possess exceptional medical talent, had been assigned the task of looking after my health.
“But you’ve never once examined me. Instead, you’ve dumped your herb-sorting work on me. And that’s because—”
Step.
I took another step toward Yeon Dopyeong.
“You don’t have any talent for medicine.”
The greatest weakness in the medical family, the Yakryeong Family.
It was the extremely rare possibility of being born without the talent for medicine.
Perhaps it was an even more cruel disgrace than being destined to die young.
Until now, Yeon Dopyeong had managed to hide that fact because he had been dumping his responsibilities onto me.
But things are different now.
“W-What…!”
Whoosh—!
Yeon Dopyeong’s face instantly turned bright red.
His ears became so flushed that they almost looked dark.
He had never once imagined it.
He had never thought that I, who had always quietly obeyed him, would openly talk back like this.
Then—
Knock, knock.
A cautious sound came from outside the door.
“Young Master, the family head is asking for you.”
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