Author: nicotine

Midterms were over.

Gawon busily moved his hands to grade his papers. His movements turning the pages were crisp and refreshing. His efforts had paid off. It wasn’t perfect enough to call a flawless score, but it was satisfactory enough.

As the class president’s voice calling out the answers ceased, a cacophony of groans burst out all at once. Voices chattering about who did well and who didn’t swarmed together, loud enough to make his ears ring. Regardless, Gawon calmly folded his exam paper and put it in his bag.

He glanced over at Ki Joon. The guy, who had already packed his bag completely, was surrounded by the other kids, laughing and chatting. Watching him, a smile naturally crept onto Gawon’s face.

Just as he was about to look away, Ki Joon suddenly whipped his head around and looked his way. The moment their eyes met, Gawon quickly turned his head away. The tingling sensation that sparked in that brief locked gaze was vivid.

“Alright, alright. Just because midterms are over, don’t go acting like the world’s ended. Even if senior year seems far off, it’ll come before you know it. Just play around today, and from tomorrow, get your heads straight…”

Woo-woo-woo— Boos rained down. Even the homeroom teacher, who had been trying to continue his lecture with a stern expression, cracked a smile just for today. After a final nagging about playing games in moderation and going home, dismissal was over. Gawon rose from his seat with a flutter in his heart.

Finishing exams had never particularly made him happy before. It was always just a purely results-oriented reflection—’I got through this time too,’ or ‘I need to work harder next time.’ That was only natural, because Gawon had never once relieved exam stress by enjoying himself with someone else.

But this time was different.

‘Let’s go on a date when exams are over.’

He swore he wasn’t getting excited over that embarrassing thing Ki Joon had said. It was just, simply, that it was new to have someone to do trivial things with—eating together, watching a movie… drinking coffee, going to a PC bang—like any other kids their age.

Or maybe not. To be a little more honest… he was glad that someone was Ki Joon. He couldn’t deny that fact. He’d scolded him, asking what date, telling him not to say things like that, but he couldn’t help the buoyant feeling rising in his heart.

The time given to him and Ki Joon was just one day. From tomorrow, Ki Joon would enter a training camp for three days to prepare for his competition. He’d even gotten permission from the homeroom teacher to be absent from school.

‘What do you do at training camp?’

‘Just. Exactly what it sounds like—training.’

Ki Joon had said casually, sucking on a chocolate-flavored candy.

‘Run until you puke, do strength training until you drop, spar until your nose bleeds, and after eating, start over from the beginning on infinite repeat. From the moment you open your eyes at dawn until nightfall, you just do that over and over.’

‘How… how do you endure that?’

A voice full of wonder came out naturally. Ki Joon had smiled casually at the dumbfounded Gawon.

‘Just. I love working out that much. So training is bearable too.’

What did loving something mean to this kid? Even running until he pukes, even sparring until he bleeds, still being able to charge toward what he loves without tiring—what kind of person was this?

That one thing you casually added back then.

‘But this time, I kind of… don’t want to train.’

‘…Why?’

‘Because I won’t be able to see you.’

Do you know that it was enough to shake my heart violently?

‘…You can see me after you come back.’

‘Still. I won’t even be able to use my phone properly for three days…’

Ki Joon, who had been speaking with a sulky voice, suddenly brightened.

‘Ah, training ends at midnight. Can I hear your voice for just about 10 minutes then? If you’re awake.’

Gawon slowly nodded. There was no reason to say no. If he was going to be away for three days, he wasn’t the only one who would feel disappointed and empty.

‘Really? Yes!’

‘What’s got you so happy.’

‘Of course I’m happy. I think I can run until I puke with a cheerful heart now.’

‘…Don’t overdo it.’

Watching Ki Joon bounce around like a dog playing fetch, a smile naturally escaped him. After training that hard, he’d probably be so exhausted he’d just collapse. What was his voice anyway, that he’d jump around like that just for a 10-minute phone call?

“Let’s go.”

Ki Joon approached, bag slung over his shoulder, and smiled brightly.

The arm that naturally came around his shoulder wasn’t unwelcome. At first, he’d been tense, worried about what the other kids might think, but now he’d grown somewhat numb to it. After all, no matter how much he pushed him away with complaints, Ki Joon would just cling back persistently. Along with a careless remark about not caring about others’ gazes.

“Ki Joon, see you.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Hey, we’re doing a team match and we’re short one person. You really won’t come, Joon-ah? Huh? My treat!”

“Sorry. I have prior plans.”

As they walked out the back door of the classroom shoulder to shoulder, noisy goodbyes poured out. Hands grabbing at him to hang out also came several times.

Despite the commotion last time, the kids had restored their fondness for Ki Joon far too easily. Even Gawon knew that the downfall of the idol they’d erected on their own had brought them disappointment. But Ki Joon’s charm easily turned their hearts back.

He saw Heo Yeonggyu’s group stationed at the back. Just as Gawon, who had briefly glanced that way, was about to turn his head, Heo Yeonggyu, with his phone to his ear, spat out gruffly.

“Yes, hyung. …Soon, that bastard…, …going to.”

The classroom was so noisy that only a few fragmented words were audible. And an unpleasant gaze scanning over him. The moment their eyes met.

“You fucking nobody.”

The words that suddenly flew from Heo Yeonggyu’s mouth this time lodged precisely in his ear. Gawon’s face hardened instantly.

Gawon unconsciously glanced at Ki Joon. But he, having just received a sudden phone call, seemed not to have heard Heo Yeonggyu’s words.

“…”

Those words were clearly directed at Ki Joon. It was the same term Heo Yeonggyu’s group had whispered among themselves several times since Ki Joon had gotten beaten up by the seniors a few days ago.

He was so used to being insulted himself that it barely fazed him, but hearing Ki Joon being insulted made fire rise within him. Gawon glared at Heo Yeonggyu for a moment, then immediately whipped his head away.

Anyway, that guy is the kind of trash who can’t live without badmouthing others. As long as Ki Joon didn’t hear it, it didn’t matter.

“Sorry, the master suddenly called. Let’s go, Gawon-ah.”

“Huh? …Yeah.”

Same thing. I’m avoiding him because he’s dirty, not because I’m scared. Gawon muttered to himself. He obediently followed Ki Joon out of school.

Once they passed the school gate, his mood brightened as if it had never been low. The unfamiliar flutter after exams, something he’d never experienced before, bloomed in Gawon too. The corners of his mouth kept rising like an idiot, so Gawon awkwardly covered his face with the back of his clenched fist.

“Gawon-ah. Look, look. I planned out our date course yesterday.”

“Date, what… stop saying such embarrassing things.”

At Ki Joon’s confident declaration, Gawon made a disgusted face and looked around. Fortunately, the surrounding area was so noisy that no one seemed to have heard him. Even with the open scolding, Ki Joon just smiled casually.

“Why. Do you hate the word ‘date’ that much?”

“…I don’t know.”

To be completely honest… he didn’t hate it. He didn’t know why himself. It just made his body twist and his chest tickle without his realizing it.

Ki Joon was handsome, tall, and kind, so he must have dated a lot of girlfriends. Girls who were incredibly pretty, cute, and nice, fitting his caliber… That was the imagination Gawon had held ever since he first met Ki Joon. The word ‘date’ that Ki Joon used naturally went with girls like that.

But Ki Joon used that word so freely with him. Not with pretty girls, but with him—insignificant and male to boot. He absolutely couldn’t understand why.

And last time… of course it was in a joking tone, but he’d even said things like kiss… Just thinking about it still made his face burn hot and left him at a loss.

Why was that.

Why.

Could it be that Ki Joon saw me as…

“Just trust hyung and follow me. I combined everything you said you wanted to do yesterday and mapped out the route.”

Ki Joon tapped his own chest proudly. Watching him act so smug like a little kid, a laugh naturally escaped. Gawon obediently nodded.

“Okay. Thanks.”

“Yes! I get to hang out with Yoon Gawon!”

What was he so happy about, Ki Joon ran ahead and jumped up comically. He jumps really high… he’s not a frog. I should take a picture of him later. Gawon, who had been admiring his jumping ability, ended up laughing out loud too.

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nicotine

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