The Hunter’s Gonna Lay Low – Chapter 28

Author: nicotine

‘Recyclables sorting—just remember this!’

Wheee. The faded laminated paper, held on with clear tape, rattled and swayed in the cold wind. A thick, pill-bug-like figure crouched in the alley, busily moving about.

Thick padded jacket, thick toad-like apron, rubber gloves, training pants, and three-stripe slippers. Wijae was peacefully sorting recyclables in his winter front-yard lounging look. Peeling the labels off PET bottles, he grumbled.

“Why is there so much trash no matter how much I throw it away….”

He gathered the labels together to put them out in a plastic bag, stomped on the PET bottles to let the air out, and then picked up the sack of soju bottles.

Bang!

At that moment, a sudden popping sound burst from the air. Startled by the bolt from the blue, Cha Wijae jerked his head up and was met with a familiar white window.

[Congratulations, J!]

[You have become the new number 1 in ‘Region: Republic of Korea.’]

“…What?”

Thud. The heavy sack fell to the ground. An empty soju bottle that rolled out of the bag tumbled across the asphalt.

‘This bastard, why does it have to tell me I became number one while I’m sorting recyclables?’

Wijae was so incensed by the system’s nonsense that he couldn’t even bring himself to properly point out the content.

Number one? Me? If there had been someone to answer, Wijae would have grabbed them by the collar and demanded to know. He had no idea why such news had to intrude on what could have been a perfectly ordinary day.

Instead of asking the system for information, Wijae hastily opened an internet app on his phone. Fortunately or unfortunately, the top of the portal site’s main page was flooded with breaking news about the hunter rankings.

—[Breaking] Republic of Korea ranking number 1, J

—[Breaking] Lee Sayoung, the unshakable number 1, drops to 2nd, pushed by J.

—[Breaking] Awakened Management Agency: “Same hunter names cannot exist—this is not a namesake.”

—[Breaking] Awakened Management Agency: “Possibility of system error exists; fact-checking in progress.”

—[Breaking] Jeongbin spotted boarding a helicopter… heading to Incheon

With every refresh, more articles appeared. The system even helpfully displayed the new ranking window for reference.

[1. J

Lee Sayoung ▼1
Matthew—Mok Taeo ▼1
Jeongbin ▼1
Gyugyu ▼1
Honeybee ▼1
Doctor ▼1
IAmACraftsman ▼1
Ham Seokjeong ▼1
Song Joheon ▼1
Shield Guy ▼1]

Every name except J had a blue downward arrow next to it. The visual was devastating just to look at.

“Fuck.”

Wijae involuntarily recalled a photo he had once seen in an internet post.

Let’s learn about things you shouldn’t do at a funeral home

That is

(hand-raising emoji)

Resurrection

It would be awkward for everyone if you suddenly came back to life, right?

See you next time

That’s right. Cha Wijae had unintentionally… committed an act that should absolutely never be done.

It’s a bit embarrassing to say with his own mouth, but during his time as a hunter, he had saved countless people and was famous enough to appear even in educational comics for children as a hero who perished alongside the Rift.

And that person has been resurrected after 8 years? Even retaking the number one spot the moment he reappears?

‘Of course they’ll be desperate to find him, turning the whole country upside down.’

Wijae could hear his quiet life slowly slipping away. It was then he realized. Ah, yes. That popping sound he heard earlier was nothing else.

The sound of his small, precious, quiet daily life bursting apart….

While denying reality, he mechanically refreshed the screen, and with each increase in the refresh count in the corner, rage welled up in his chest. Gritting his teeth, he pulled an empty soju bottle from the sack, gripped its neck, and began pointing it at the status window.

“Hey, what the hell did I do to be number one?”

Him being number one in the past—that made sense. J was strong and had constantly been slashing through all kinds of monsters. He could confidently say he didn’t fall short anywhere, whether in ability or achievements.

But Cha Wijae? Since escaping from the Rift, the things Cha Wijae had done were: cleaning, sorting recyclables, washing dishes, boiling hangover soup, clipping discount coupons, grocery shopping, taking care of Haeun, donating to the Incheon Rift Foundation, and occasionally catching monsters that popped up on the street and reporting them to the Crack Management Agency while pretending to be a civilian. That was about it.

If that was enough to become number one, then any dog or cow could be number one.

[Number 1 privilege reward is given.]

[▶ Claim]

‘Give me a decline button.’

Wijae looked for a decline button somewhere. But there was no decline button, nor even a tiny X mark. Instead, the system began emphasizing the word ‘Claim’ in red.

Do you think I’ll press it just because you do that? I’m never pressing it. Wijae deliberately averted his gaze from the system. His plan was to keep ignoring it until it gave up and collapsed on its own.

But the system popped up new windows wherever he looked, and this time it displayed another option instead of ‘Claim.’

[Some revoked privileges are being partially restored.]

[Restoring privileges…]

[Re-creation of access to Republic of Korea Channel 1 complete.]

[Would you like to access Republic of Korea Channel 1?]

[▶ Yes]

[▷ Yes]

The options had increased as if reflecting his input. The problem was that nothing had actually changed.

Hunter channels were group messengers created by the system. A group messenger where they could share information, have conversations, and post announcements. Of course, Wijae had thought it was definitely something forced on hunters because they were too fond of playing solo.

In any case, the channels had access requirements, presumably to match the users’ level, and Channel 1 was a place where access privileges were granted only to ranks 1 through 50.

In other words, that meant Jeongbin, Honeybee, and Bae Wonwoo were firmly planted in Channel 1.

And of course, Lee Sayoung too.

‘As if I’d go in there like a madman.’

He had tried so hard to live quietly, but the world wouldn’t leave him alone. Wijae picked up the soju bottle that had rolled far away and separated the cap from the glass bottle.

“I’m never going in, so get rid of the window.”

[…]

The system didn’t answer.

‘Finally quiet.’

Just as Wijae sighed in relief and began to tidy up the scattered sack and empty bottles—

[!!Error!!]

[Selection time has ended.]

[Automatically connecting to Channel 1.]

“What?”

Wijae was horrified. What was this ill-mannered system saying now?

+82 [CH.1] 《J has entered the channel.》

‘I’m screwed.’

This damned system was so outdated it didn’t even have a nickname change function! Cha Wijae, who had been suddenly resurrected under his old name J and even forced into Channel 1, lost all will to fight in an instant.

It was so absurd that all he could do was let out a weak, hollow laugh.

“Ha, haha.”

Whether it knew his feelings or not, the momentarily frozen chat began to rocket upward at a crazy speed, flooded with messages.

:
:
[50] RomanticOpener: WTF

[50] RomanticOpener: Wow

[11] Shield Guy: Holy

[6] Honeybee: ?

[6] Honeybee: For real?

[34] A Tiny Little Miracle Mingi: Isn’t it a system error?

[50] RomanticOpener: No, wow

[50] RomanticOpener: This is literally legendary consecutive updates lolololol

[8] IAmACraftsman: Pfft lol

[8] IAmACraftsman: It’s a prank lol

[8] IAmACraftsman: To see our reactions lol

[8] IAmACraftsman: They’re colluding with the system lol

[8] IAmACraftsman: It’s being broadcast on TV lol

[8] IAmACraftsman: Like a reality observation show, okay okay got it

[6] Honeybee: Your escapism is insane

[4] Jeongbin: Mr. Hong Yeseong^^

[4] Jeongbin: I’ll cut the Wi-Fi at Craftsman Village for a moment.

[4] Jeongbin: Everyone else, please be careful not to let anything leak.

[8] IAmACraftsman: (crying emoji)

[29] MagicStoneSellerBoy: Couldn’t someone else have taken the name?

[43] Ddeun: It’s not really J-nim, is it? ;;

[4] Jeongbin: As you all know ^^; duplicate hunter names are impossible.

[4] Jeongbin: I imagine you’re all very confused.

[4] Jeongbin: We’re confirming, so please wait a moment. ^^

[29] MagicStoneSellerBoy: In online games, long-inactive player nicknames

[29] MagicStoneSellerBoy: get released periodically though…

[15] NoNicknameToChoose: This isn’t a game, is it.

[3] Matthew—Mok Taeo: Mr. Jeongbin.

[3] Matthew—Mok Taeo: The possibility that the Rift has reopened…

With Mok Taeo’s cautious question, the chaotic chat window froze to an unreadable standstill. Wijae also held his breath for a moment. If the Incheon Rift had reopened, Wijae had to go there.

Ihavetogobacktothathellgoandretrievewhatheleftbehindhehassinnedsomustatonethatdebtthatisthepriceasurvivormustpay—

Crash!

Wijae blinked. The soju bottle in his hand had shattered into pieces. His nape went cold in an instant. He must have broken out in a cold sweat without realizing it. Phew, Wijae let out a long breath and lifted his head to dismiss the detestable system window, when—

[2] Lee Sayoung: X

Lee Sayoung’s message was visible. Wijae blinked slowly.

[11] Shield Guy: Um, Mr. J?

[11] Shield Guy: Hoxy… could you please type just one message in the chat?

And even in this situation, Bae Wonwoo remained persistently oblivious.

‘Would you type if you were me?’

Somehow, the tension eased. His chaotic mind seemed to be settling down a little. Crouching on the ground, Wijae decided to try one last resort—the power of artificial intelligence.

“Hey Nexbi, find a way to leave the hunter channel.”

—Searching for ways to leave the hunter channel.

—No search results found.

Damn it.

∞ ∞ ∞

“Huh? This TV is broken.”

At the hangover soup restaurant, still crowded with hunters, one hunter was lingering around the TV and mashing the remote buttons. But no matter how many times he pressed, the TV showed no sign of turning on. He scratched his head and called out to Wijae.

“This TV is messed up, isn’t it? Is it broken?”

Wijae, carrying a tray full of empty bowls, replied.

“Yes. I saw it was broken this morning. I’m calling a repairman tomorrow.”

It was, of course, a blatant lie. The TV was perfectly fine. It just happened to have its power cord unplugged.

“Tch, I was going to watch the 110-Minute Debate while eating.”

As the man muttered with disappointment, the other hunters nearby began to chime in one by one.

“Is that airing today? About whether to send a rescue team or not.”

“Ah, I want to watch that too.”

“We’ll have to watch on our phones.”

“Can’t we call a repairman now?”

“He probably won’t come since it’s evening.”

Disappointed voices erupted here and there. But Wijae pretended not to hear any of it. Everything was to prevent the catastrophe of them all watching this week’s 「110-Minute Debate」, which they desperately wanted to see, together.

Today, a week after J’s name appeared in the hunter rankings, the subtitle of the special live broadcast 「110-Minute Debate」 was as follows:

‘The Return of J—Should a Rescue Team Be Dispatched to the Incheon Rift?’

Since the resurrected party’s opinion wasn’t included even a single eyelash’s worth in this entire flow, Wijae had unplugged the TV as soon as he woke up. Wijae clenched his fist tightly.

‘I will never let them watch it.’