Author: Niks

 

 

In my previous life, it was part of my daily life to hang out with my friends from daycare center when I was young, but in this world there were only people around me who were busy supporting me, not somebody I could call as friends.

 

I thought it would be a little different if I were in the same position, but Rudrick appeared like a miracle.

 

In fact, when I found out that Rudrick was the male lead from the original, I thought about avoiding him rather than becoming his friend.

 

However, after seeing him for the first time and talking to him a few times, I thought, ‘Maybe I was too tied to the original.’

 

Most of all, hanging out with Rudrick made me feel happy after a long time. Rather, I became the one who would be sorry if I was separated from Rudrick.

 

“That’s why I approached you. I deliberately acted nice on purpose, and you also became nice to me.”

 

“…”

 

I’m not really nice like what you think of me. I’m so embarrassed that you keep supporting me. When you find out about my personality I thought, you’ll freak out and leave me’.”

 

“…No”

 

“What, are you confident? Aren’t you going to change and regret your words later?”

 

Rudrick laughed when I spoke in a playful way.

 

Rudrick, who was depressed earlier, was now smiling like this in front of me, and I laughed out loud, and Rudrick smiled lightly after me.

 

The atmosphere was much softer now.

 

I stared at Rudrick and continued the rest of what I intended to say.

 

“I want to be friends with Rudrick”

 

“…”

 

“So I want to make good memories by having fun, laughing, and quarreling together.”

 

I asked with a smile.

 

“How was it? would you listen to it?”

 

Rudrick didn’t say anything.

 

I waited quietly without rushing. The atmosphere was pretty good, and now Rudrick just needs to reluctantly allow it.

 

Then we would formally become friends, and now I could let go of what I’ve been hoping for.

 

The scenario was perfectly organized. If Rudrick hadn’t cried.

 

“Ru, Rudrick?”

 

Surely Rudrick was smiling. But at the same time, he was also crying.

 

“It’s too much.”

 

“What…?”

 

“It’s nothing like that.”

 

Rudrick’s face gradually distorted.

 

Soon afterward, Rudrick began to shed tears like a man with a broken tear glands.

 

He wasn’t just biting his lips and sobbed to hold back his tears, but rather it’s a weeping sound as if he was about to burst out things that had piled up.

 

When I saw that, I was relieved, and burst into a little laugh.

 

“Really, it’s really nothing but… “

 

“…Ha.”

 

“It’s only because of that…’’

 

“Pfft, Ahaha…”

 

It was a sight that would look very strange to anyone if they saw it.

 

One was crying sadly, and the other was laughing happily at the crying person.

 

Maybe I look like a crazy person, but I couldn’t stop laughing. It was because Rudrick, who cried as if he was really sad, but he looked so cute.

 

Eventually, I couldn’t stand it and hugged Rudrick.

 

Rudrick, much smaller than me, fell into my arms. Rudrick, who seemed startled, finally buried his face in my arms.

 

I smiled and patted Rudrick’s back.

 

As time passed and the tears and laughter that had burst once calmed down, I raised my chin on the top of Rudrick’s head and asked him softly.

 

“So would you be my friend or not?”

 

“…”

 

“You said you would do anything. Was that a lie?”

 

“… Dahlia also lied.”

 

“Don’t you know? ‘When I do it, it’s romance; when others do it, it’s an affair’.”

(N: The word used here was 내로남불, which was a korean slang and considered a rude word.)

 

“You know everything…”

 

You mean it’s more comfortable now, right?

 

Unlike what I’ve been through, maybe Rudrick’s personality was like this, and I’m happy again because I thought I wouldn’t be the only one who’s been snobbish so far.

 

But, I don’t have any intention of getting hurt either. I grinned and grabbed Rudrick by the shoulder and pulled him out of my arms.

 

“Oh, I didn’t see it that way, are you talking about this? You don’t want to be friends with me?”

 

“Yes, what?”

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t notice.”

 

“No!”

 

I laughed satisfactorily at Rudrick’s embarrassment. Yes, this fresh reaction. It’s Rudrick.

 

But I was so excited too, did I make it obvious? Rudrick’s eyes, looking at my smiling face, turned dark for a moment, and I looked elsewhere pretending that I didn’t know anything.

 

Rudrick eventually burst into laughter. I also laughed out loud.

 

We laughed at once and looked at each other.

 

Now with the same look, we seemed to be on an equal footing with each other in our eyes.

 

It’s just the beginning. We’ll continue to fight, laugh, argue, make up, but that’s a long way off, and now…

 

“I want to be close to you.”

 

I asked back with a big smile.

 

“What about you?”

 

Rudrick replied happily.

 

“Me too.”

 

* * *

 

That night, Rudrick and I talked about many things.

 

We talked about each other over the past week and talked about how we’ve been, as well as the fact that I was burned, the argument at the dessert shop, and what’s more, how we’ve felt about lying.

 

The casual conversation became more and more sincere, and before we knew it, we were being honest about our feelings that we couldn’t tell each other before.

 

“So I…ah, no, I…”

 

Although we became friends, Rudrick, who still had honorifics when he spoke, managed to let go whenever I noticed him.

 

Rudrick’s story was something I knew well.

 

It’s something Rudrick had told me a while ago when he was crying.

 

However, if he talked sparsely at that time, this time he shared his feelings with a detailed explanation of the situation up to that point.

 

I listened carefully to Rudrick, and only then did I begin to bring up my story.

 

“I…”

 

As always, it’s not easy to say the first words. I opened my dry lips and talked slowly.

 

“At first, I thought you were making fun of me.”

 

Such words were both grumbling and grievous.

 

I just wanted to have fun with you, but I got nervous when you left all the choices to me.

 

I thought it would be okay, but when I saw him not expressing even what he hated, I thought this was not right.

 

In response, Rudrick refuted, saying, ‘When did I do that?’ But when I said ‘dessert’, he quietly avoided my gaze.

 

“Just as you don’t like to see me hurt, I also don’t want you to get hurt, It’s good if you enjoy playing together.”

 

“…”

 

“But you never tell me what you liked…”

 

In fact, as I knew his situation, I couldn’t understand Rudrick.

 

However, understanding it with my head and feeling it directly were different. No matter how good he was, I felt a bit disappointed when I saw Rudrick hiding his feelings.

 

And as expected, Rudrick shut his mouth thinking if he had anything to say about it. Rudrick, who was poking his lips as if he was hesitating, opened his mouth carefully.

 

“…I don’t know.”

 

“What?”

 

“There was…uh, no one asked me like Dahlia. What’s better and… “

 

Rudrick hesitated and continued.

 

“Well, I didn’t leave it all up to Dahlia… No, I have nothing left to say. I really don’t know what’s good, so I don’t know if I could choose, and I’m nervous if Dahlia would like it.”

 

It was obvious that the contents of his words were gibberish, and it seemed to be brought up recklessly without thinking about it.

 

Still, Rudrick didn’t stop talking.

 

He didn’t know where to start and where to say it, but he still wanted to convey his true feelings, so he continued speaking awkwardly.

 

And sometimes I’m not as good at organizing things. There were times when words were delivered better.

And sometimes it’s more clumsy than well-organized words. There were times when horses were communicated better.

 

As I listened to him quietly, I could see Rudrick finishing his words, saying, 

 

I’m sorry…” 

 

I smiled at Rudrick, who carefully stared at me, and only then did I open my mouth.

 

“Well, you know what.”

 

“What?”

 

“Wouldn’t you just need to find that out with me?”

 

After hearing what I said, Rudrick came up.

 

“Together?”

 

“Yes.”

 

I nodded simply and clearly. 

 

However, Rudrick’s face became more blurred.

 

Judging from the fact that there were no more questions from him, I definitely thought he understood what I meant. 

 

However, his expression was still dark, and it seemed that he still had worries and concerns about many things.

 

And I seemed to know what the trouble was.

 

The worries about why I suddenly make such a suggestion, how and what we do together, and above all, whether I am taking the trouble for myself over nothing.

 

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