I Married Because I Wanted To Live A Normal Life Chapter 68

Chapter 68

In a daze, I entered the annex. I waved away the maid who tried to take my coat and paused to catch my breath.

Soon, as always, a cool voice filled with scorn made a cold judgment of my situation.

You’re acting like the tragic heroine of some drama you were never meant to star in.

“…..”

It was right. Actions have consequences. Once you’ve made a choice, you must bear the results entirely on your own.

When I first came here—that is, when I “ transmigrated”—I had viewed the situation quite realistically.

Even while I was out of my mind, busy just adapting to this world, I was cool-headed enough to weigh the repercussions of confessing, “I am not your daughter or your sister, but a stranger from an entirely different world.”

And that was an action born from my shallow miscalculation, my underestimation of Liddell’s family and, furthermore, this world.

But was it because I had learned that this place was not, in fact, a fabricated world?

Or was it because I couldn’t help but grow fond of them as they poured out a love I had never felt in my entire life?

To think that I was only now looking back on that choice.

But what was that, if not another deception?

I stood absently in the middle of the spacious lobby, the entrance to the annex, and listened only to the sound of my own breathing.

A sound heard in complete solitude.

As it always had been…

“…..”

I took a deep breath and lifted my head.

What I had always told myself throughout my life was not to dwell too much on things that were beyond my control.

Don’t fret about not having a happy family like others. Don’t be jealous that I’m not as capable as others.

Distinguish between what you can and cannot do, and if you’ve made a choice, take responsibility for the outcome.

At least, ‘I’ had lived that way until now.

So even this act of self-deprecation felt ridiculous.

Reflect and regret, but let’s not be so despicable as to seek comfort from others to obtain absolution.

Steeling my resolve, I smiled and spoke to the maid who had been hesitating nearby, watching my expression.

“Where is Hisch?”

“Ah… M-Mr. Hisch is in the large study.”

At her words, I gave a simple nod and started walking. By then, the surroundings had grown dim, and the corridor’s magic lamps were faintly dispelling the darkness.

I knocked on the door of the study where Hisch was, and a simple reply came back.

When I opened the door, I saw a man sitting at a desk in a room brighter than the corridor, writing something. Sensing my presence, he lifted his head and looked directly at me.

“Liddell.”

Hisch rose to his feet, came over to me, and kissed my forehead.

“Did you get back safely?”

Only then did I feel my tension release, and I leaned quietly against him. Perhaps because of that, I was able to speak in a slightly more relaxed voice.

“Well, what’s there to be careful about when you’re going to the most heavily guarded place in the capital?”

Listening to me, Hisch moved the hand that was caressing my cheek to tuck my hair behind my ear.

Hisch had been noticeably treating me like a child lately. What I mean is, he acted as if his entire attention was focused on my every move.

When I stood before him, I felt like I had returned to being a child who received nothing but love. Though I’d practically never had such a time in my life, well, it wasn’t a bad feeling.

To be honest, I was a little happy because I could feel that the distance between us had truly narrowed.

“What about you? What did you do today? …What’s that in your hand?”

Curious as to why he was in the study for a change, I asked, and Hisch lifted the paper he had just been writing on and smiled a little.

“It’s a letter to Sein.”

“To him…? Do you have something to say to him?”

“Mm… I remembered some unfinished business.”

Of course, I too had been in periodic contact with Sein.

He seemed to be excellently fulfilling his role as the acting lord of the territory. This included the matter with Baron Peloche we discussed before I left, as well as the restoration of the castle walls that were destroyed in the last attack.

He was also skillfully looking into the construction of a new outer wall and the creation of an underground shelter that could be self-sufficient in energy.

But since the work Hisch and I used to share was now added to his own duties, no matter how much the man in the video sphere made it look like it was no trouble, it was bound to be overwhelming.

“So, Liddell. I… I’d like to return to Ensis for a while.”

My eyes widened at his words.

It’s a bit strange to say this, but it was quite unexpected for Hisch to bring up such a thing. At my reaction, Hisch continued his explanation.

“I think Sein must be having a hard time, and I also keep thinking about the work I left unfinished. Of course, it would be wonderful if I could return with you, but the atmosphere lately seems somehow unusual…”

Well, of course the atmosphere would be unusual, since the leader of a country has died.

In any case, just as Hisch said, I was in a situation where I couldn’t leave the capital with him right away.

On top of that, if I accepted Callen’s offer, I would have to stay in the capital even longer. So, while my head knew it was logical to send Hisch ahead…

This is strangely… I felt a bit disappointed.

“…My husband works a little too hard, don’t you think?”

I know it’s a selfish thought. After all, I often left Hisch behind in Ensis and went off on my own.

But for Hisch, who always stuck to me like glue, to suddenly bring up something like this… what should I even say?

In any case, I felt strangely hurt.

Hisch gave an awkward smile at my words, but he didn’t seem to have any intention of withdrawing his request.

What more could I say to that?

“Well… alright. You can go back first and get some proper rest. And if you feel up to it, help Sein out a bit, too.”

Trusting that Hisch would surely handle things well on his own, I continued.

Yes, in a way, this might be for the best.

“And actually, it seems I’ll have to stay in the capital longer than I expected.”

I briefly explained the matter Callen had offered me. I told him I couldn’t accept right away and that I’d think about it, but in truth, my heart was already leaning in that direction.

To put it simply, it was a story about helping out at my former workplace because they were short-staffed, yet after hearing me out, Hisch’s expression darkened a little.

“Marquis Ophius…?”

The look on his face as he mumbled that was just like someone watching his wife openly declare she was going to have an affair, so my mouth opened in what sounded like an excuse without me even realizing it.

“It’s just… the situation is so unusual these days, I thought it would be best to get a general grasp of what’s going on… That’s all. You know, Hisch. I don’t have any grand political ambitions.”

“…I know. What can I do when you’re so capable that many people want you.”

It’s not to that extent…

In any case, even though Hisch nodded as he replied, I snuck a glance at him to gauge his mood. As if sensing it, he bent down to meet my eyes.

“It’s just because I’m narrow-minded. …Because I wish you would only like me.”

“What are you talking about? Of course, you’re the only one I see.”

I leaned against him and spoke lightly as I usually would, but the man merely gave a slight smile.

That smile didn’t seem to be one of agreement or relief. Hisch embraced me and said, “It’s okay.”

He pulled back slightly, and the eyes that met mine were serenely sunken. As I gazed silently at that blackness where no light seemed to dwell, he gave my hair a soft peck.

“It’s enough that I love you… and that I’ll be the one to return to you.”

“…..”

In truth, there was something that had been bothering me deep down.

Why did it sound as if the love Hisch spoke of didn’t include the premise that I loved him back?

Have I still not given him enough assurance?

Or maybe I’m just being overly sensitive.

Because I, too, had started to feel at some point that I just wanted to love him unconditionally.

It was fine even if it wasn’t reciprocated. It was simply that I wanted to do things for him helplessly, unable to overcome that feeling in my heart.

So, maybe Hisch felt the same way I did. Even while thinking that, I placed a hand on his cheek and gave him a light kiss.

As if to return the sentiment, imbuing it with the feeling of, I love you, too.

 

***

 

Winter in the north had always been harsh, but Miller thought that it had never been as harsh as this time.

The blond man looked down at the gruesome scene unfolding at his feet. Soldiers, in a state like that of a defeated army, were scattered about, moaning in pain.

Even if they were still breathing, he could occasionally see some who had sustained injuries that might make death a better alternative.

Local physicians and medics moved busily among them, but a despair and lamentation that seemed impossible to dispel with human strength alone hung in the air.

Was it because the battle had just ended? The ground still seemed to retain some heat. Despite the acrid stench of monster blood assailing his nose, Miller Firenze’s impassive expression did not falter.

“Damn it, just look at this mess, Young Marquis!”

Viscount Dimitri, who had guarded the northern border of the Kingdom of Kleinin for many long years, erupted in fury beside Miller.

“We cannot hold on like this any longer. We’ve already shed too much blood! For heaven’s sake, does the royal family even know how serious this is, or not…?!”