How the Prince Makes Friends Chapter 31

Evan was speechless for a moment.

The canopy was already drawn around the prince’s bed, so he doubted that a mere candle would disturb His Highness’s sleep. Still, he decided not to nag Nihil about it. The prince always came first, after all.

Without making a single sound, Evan quietly approached Nihil and glanced down at the paper he was writing on.

Nihil’s handwriting was almost cursive, yet the letters were uniform in size, and every line and column was neatly aligned. It certainly wasn’t the work of a wandering orphan. Moreover, even children from well-educated families tended to write carefully in print at this age, putting considerable pressure on their pens. It was rare for someone so young to use cursive.

Curious, Evan asked him, “Who taught you to write?”

“If you see enough writing, you naturally learn how to do it.”

“Don’t talk nonsense.”

“Didn’t I tell you before? I couldn’t read books about medicinal herbs, so I taught myself.”

“……”

Silence settled over the bedroom for a while. The only sounds were the crackling of the firewood and the scratching of the pen.

Evan had always found the unusual Nihil suspicious, but he felt bad for bringing up what might have been a painful past, so he kept his mouth shut.

The candle flame flickered, and the shadows cast across Nihil’s face wavered along with it.

Eventually, Nihil stopped writing and carefully set down his pen. Then he spoke in a low voice.

“The first thing I ever copied was a scripture engraved on a huge stone tablet standing in front of a temple. I had no idea what it meant. I simply copied it. No, rather than writing it, I just drew the characters exactly as they appeared. I kept drawing the same passage on the ground over and over, day after day, until I gradually learned the letters. The temple priests recited the scripture at the same time every day, which helped me learn, too. Since I could already speak, once I learned to read, I picked it up quickly.”

“…Were you alone for a long time before you met that child?”

“Yes. I was alone for a very, very long time. I ate when I was hungry and slept when I was tired. I didn’t need anyone else’s help. I had no particular trouble simply surviving. That’s why that child is so special to me.”

“You……”

Evan started to ask something, then closed his mouth.

Those beautiful yet utterly indifferent eyes gazed steadily up at him. Nihil showed no emotion whatsoever, even while speaking about something that hardly sounded pleasant. Looking at him, Evan almost wondered whether the boy was actually an exquisitely crafted doll.

Evan’s lips moved several times as he debated whether to ask the question lingering in his mind. There was something he had wanted to ask ever since he first met the boy.

“You… You’re… No, would it be all right if I asked you something…?”

“Even if you get an answer, it won’t do you any good.”

“……”

Nihil answered indifferently, as though he already knew what Evan wanted to ask. As he spoke, he pressed one finger against one of the three candles in the holder, extinguishing it.

A thin trail of smoke curled upward before gradually dispersing into the air.

“You can ask if you want to, but you’ll end up forgetting.”

The warmth of the candlelight glowed against Nihil’s snowy-white eyelashes, and they slowly fluttered several times.

Swept up in the solemn atmosphere, Evan stared at him blankly for a moment before turning over the meaning of Nihil’s words in his mind.

Forget?

Nihil wasn’t mocking him for having a poor memory. Did he mean he could tamper with Evan’s memories?

“I’m not the one erasing your memories.”

Before Evan could voice his suspicions, Nihil answered him first. After a brief silence, he continued.

“I don’t do anything. You’re the one who forgets on your own.”

“You’re saying I erase my own memories?”

“Yes.”

“…I don’t have any ability like that.”

If Evan had possessed the ability to erase whichever memories he wanted, he would have done so countless times already.

Nihil continued explaining.

“I’m not certain, but… I suspect it’s because my very existence poses a threat. Perhaps you erase me as though I never existed in the first place to protect yourself. Yes, a sort of survival instinct.”

Nihil reached toward the candleholder again. Another flame went out beneath his fingers.

Evan watched the smoke disperse, then once more fixed his gaze on those black eyes that shimmered with an uncanny light.

He couldn’t make heads or tails of what Nihil was saying, yet he felt a strange sense of déjà vu.

Nihil didn’t avoid his gaze. He simply returned Evan’s stare with the same indifferent expression before slowly speaking again.

“You must have a lot of questions. I don’t exactly seem ordinary, after all.”

“At least you’re aware of that.”

“Well, I’m rather exceptional in appearance, too, aren’t I?”

As he spoke, Nihil smiled faintly, as though inviting Evan to admire his looks for a moment.

It was an incredibly arrogant thing to say, but it was also true, so Evan couldn’t argue.

“So I erase my own memories?”

“That’s what I suspect. It’s what’s happened so far.”

“If it’s only a guess, then you can’t be sure. And if I’m going to forget anyway, why bother explaining everything to me in such detail?”

There was absolutely no evidence to support Nihil’s claims.

And the notion that his very existence could threaten other people was unbelievably arrogant.

Even so, Evan couldn’t bring himself to believe that the boy was lying outright.

A faint sense of dread crept over him, but he snorted and folded his arms, pretending not to care. He wanted to lighten the increasingly heavy atmosphere, even if only a little.

Perhaps Nihil noticed what he was trying to do, because he chuckled and rested his chin in his hand, lightly tapping the tabletop twice with his fingertips.

“Well, sometimes I feel like talking about myself, too.”

“……”

“And… you never know.”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe this time, you won’t forget…”

At those words, Evan’s body gave a slight start.

For some reason, he felt guilty.

The last remaining candle flame flickered wildly, and Evan’s eyes wavered with it.

Still resting his chin in his hand, Nihil gazed up at him from a slight angle.

At that moment, Evan became certain.

What he said about being forgotten wasn’t a lie.

And if he heard the truth, he would undoubtedly forget it, too. He would fail to fulfill even the tiniest, tiniest hope Nihil had placed in him.

Evan knew his own limitations better than anyone. He understood that he was no special exception who could escape having his memories erased.

An indescribable emotion rose relentlessly from deep inside him.

Those eyes he had thought were merely indifferent…

Those eyes he had believed held nothing he could read…

Perhaps they had actually been holding far too much.

He had no desire to experience the unpleasant sensation of having his memories erased.

And yet, in the end, he had to ask. Because Nihil wanted him to ask… wanted him to speak.

“Who are you…?”

As Evan asked, a thought crossed his mind.

Perhaps this wasn’t even the first time he had asked that question.

 

***

 

“…I am a being who can exist anywhere, yet must exist nowhere. A being who can become anything, yet is nothing at all.”

“……?”

Evan furrowed his brows. After being warned that he might lose his memories, all he had received in return was an incomprehensible riddle.

“…If you’re going to explain it anyway, then explain it properly.”

Nihil chuckled, ran a hand through his hair, and slumped back into his chair. His movement stirred a small breeze, causing the candle flame to flicker once more. The oppressive atmosphere seemed to lighten a little.

“Usually, if I tell someone only that much, they don’t lose their memories.”

“Then I won’t forget?”

“No. You will, unless you’re Rian. You’re annoyingly perceptive and persistent for someone who doesn’t look the part.”

“……”

Was that a compliment or an insult?

When Evan made a complicated face, Nihil burst into a small laugh and asked, “Do you remember my name?”

“…Ni-hil?”

“Oh, you’re not completely stupid, after all, puppy.”

“Don’t call me that.”

At the word puppy, Evan felt an inexplicable surge of indignation and nearly raised his voice.

He would have preferred being called a son of a bitch or a bastard. At least those were insults that sounded vaguely human. When Nihil called him puppy, he genuinely felt like a dog.

“Emptiness.”

“……?”

“Nothingness, void, something worthless.”

At this sudden string of words, confusion spread across Evan’s face.

“What are you talking about all of a sudden?”

“That’s what my name means.”

“Who names someone something like that…?”

“I named myself.”

“Who names themselves?!”

“…Well, I had no choice. No one else gave me a name.”

“……”

Evan was speechless once again.

Nihil continued, his voice tinged with bitterness.

“It’s the name that defines me best.”

“……”

The crackling of the firewood in the fireplace suddenly sounded unusually loud.

Evan wanted to ask why Nihil had looked so miserable when the prince told him his name suited him, considering that he had chosen such a name for himself.

“You have an impudent look in your eyes.”

“Don’t talk nonsense. You’re hardly in a position to lecture anyone about manners.”

“Don’t raise your voice. You’ll wake the child.”

“…Damn it.”

The heavy atmosphere shattered at Nihil’s incessant references to the child.

Evan furrowed his brows, then, just in case, poked his head out of the study door and peeked toward the bed. Fortunately, there was no sign that the prince had woken up.

He had brought this brat over to be friends with their little kitten, but ever since arriving, the boy had been nursing him when he was sick, eating those awful cookies—or rather, pieces of coal pretending to be cookies—on his behalf, and reading fairy tales to help him fall asleep.

Then there was the way Nihil had turned off all the lights, insisting that the prince needed proper sleep to grow well, only to study herbal medicine and medical texts by the faint glow of a candle, all for the prince’s sake.

And now he was even scolding Evan because the child might wake up…

Was this… a nanny?

Evan’s pupils wavered slightly as confusion filled his mind.

Come to think of it, why was Nihil going to such lengths?

“Why are you being so kind to His Highness?”

“I wouldn’t say I’m being particularly kind…”

“No, you’re clearly taking good care of him. Even just looking through books on medicinal herbs proves that.”

“Well, I’ve lost a child, lost my powers, and been feeling lonely. And he’s rather cute, too.”

“……Don’t treat His Highness as a replacement for that child.”

Evan’s expression hardened.

If Nihil was projecting that other child onto the prince, it would be a serious problem. If that child ever appeared and Nihil abandoned the prince to go with them, His Highness would be the only one left to suffer.

“A replacement? The prince and that child aren’t alike at all. That child was a little more… cunning.”

“……”

“Isn’t the prince far too innocent? It’s quite adorable how easily he gets swayed.”

You little…!

Their prince was adorable, yes, but how dare he say the boy was so easily swayed!

“Ah, though there is one thing they have in common.”

“What?”

“They both want something desperately.”

The two stared at each other, and silence fell once more.

The lone candle flickered faintly. Evan’s eyes wavered with the flame before he pressed his lips together and changed the subject.

“Give yourself a new name. Don’t make His Highness worry over something like that. And that’s no way to name someone. A name isn’t meant to define who a person is. It’s meant to express a wish for the life they’ll lead.”

“I see.”

At those words, Nihil paused for a moment. He lowered his gaze, took hold of his fountain pen, and carefully ran his thumb along it.

After hesitating for a long while, he finally spoke in a voice barely loud enough to hear.

“…Requies.”