Reunion Chapter 73

I felt like I had fallen asleep in the bathtub, but when I woke up, I was on the bed. With my top and underwear on. Considering that I couldn’t wake up while he was dressing him like this, I might not have fallen asleep but rather passed out. Looking at the dark window, I thought it was still early, so I lazily snuggled into Jang Yoonsung’s arms. Jang Yoonsung seemed to be sleeping deeply, perhaps because he had been suffering from insomnia.

I settled down and was about to close my eyes, but the sudden hunger made me open them again. When I think about it, I emptied a bag of snacks for a late lunch yesterday and wasn’t able to eat anything.

Once I became aware of my empty stomach, I felt like I would never be able to sleep like this. In the end, I stood up carefully, not to wake Jang Yoonsung up.

“Ah…”

The way I left the bed was awkward as if I was stepping on the ground after a long time. Every time I put force on his legs, a groaning sound would come out of my mouth, and I ended up leaving the room in an awkward position, neither walking nor crawling. I wanted to go back to bed before Jang Yoonsung woke up, but the road to the kitchen was too far.

As I walked slowly, I belatedly began to see the new house. The house was too big for two people to stay in. If I went out to the living room, there was a large terrace where I could enjoy my time with Poongjak and play catch with him. As I looked at the dim light coming through the living room window, it seemed like the sun was slowly rising.

I sat on the new sofa and watched the sky getting brighter little by little, and then I suddenly came to my senses. If Jang Yoonsung woke up like this, it would be difficult. He was probably sleeping soundly for a long time, so I didn’t want to disturb him, and if I was discovered to be awake by myself, he might try to throw away the new sofa he bought before we could even use it properly.

When I went shopping, I thought I bought a huge amount of dishes and kitchenware, and the kitchen was also neatly organized. I opened the cupboard, looked around, and finally opened the refrigerator.

It seemed like he didn’t plan on starving so he went grocery shopping. There were fruits and vegetables, meat in packs, and a few boxes and containers of side dishes that I couldn’t tell what was in them. Among them, it was time to worry about choosing something that I could eat without going through a hassle.

“I stopped myself because you said you were dying, and you seem to have some energy left, Lee Hakyung?”

I heard a disgruntled voice from behind, and an arm came out from my side and hugged my waist.

“If you are only stopping yourself because I said that, don’t you feel sorry for your conscience? The fact that I don’t have energy, no thanks to you, is the reason I came here to eat?”

“… Can I make you a sandwich?”

Jang Yoonsung kept his mouth shut for a moment, perhaps thinking it was a bit excessive, and then finally asked that question.

“No, it’s a hassle. Just something I can eat right away.”

“Do you want to eat cake?”

“Cake? Now, in the morning?”

It was an unfamiliar menu to eat on an empty stomach, so I thought about it again and thought it might be okay. After enjoying the cake I received as a gift one day, Jang Yoonsung often bought cakes and desserts that I would only see at a cafe. Seeing that the boxes changed every time, it didn’t seem like they were purchased from the same place, but surprisingly, most of them were delicious.

“Hmm…Want some.”

Thinking back on what he had bought, I felt like I had an appetite. Jang Yoonsung smiled as if he knew that would happen, stretched out his arm, and took out a black cardboard box.

“When you’re feeling low on energy, you crave sweets.”

I thought that would be the case for everyone, but Jang Yoonsung was the type that would not be included in that category. Inside the box were two pieces of cake of different colors. They put it in front of me as if asking me to choose, so I chose the one that seemed to taste like chocolate. The rest went back to the refrigerator as if Jang Yoonsung had no intention of eating it.

He put the cake on a plate, grabbed a fork, and sat down on the single sofa in the living room. He tapped my thigh as if telling me to sit here.

“I once heard that a wide sofa was good.”

I grumbled but ended up sitting on his legs with my back toward where he put my arms. Only then did the cake plate come into my hands.

“I think you heard wrong. I wish the bed was a little narrower.”

“No, I like it right now.”

“Do you like it?”

“Yeah.”

I answered briefly, cut the cake to size, and put it in my mouth. Jang Yoonsung leaned his head on my shoulder with a sleepy face. He rubbed his cheek a few times and his eyes soon became blurry.

“Let’s eat that and sleep in until late.”

“Until when?”

“Hm…Until lunch?”

His voice was already half-sleepy.

“And then… ?”

“And then…”

He mumbled incoherently and eventually stopped speaking. As I moved his arm while cutting the cake with a fork, Jang Yoonsung opened his eyes again. I pretended not to notice put the cake in my mouth and asked again.

“What are you going to do next?”

I felt a stinging gaze. Jang Yoonsung let out a long breath, raised his head, and opened his mouth like a baby bird. It seemed like he wanted to quickly finish the cake and go back to his room.

As he wished, I cut a large piece of cake and put it in his mouth. He savored the cake in his mouth for a very long time without even chewing it.

He swallowed the cake with a dissatisfied face and looked intently at my face. He had a cold face as if he was irritated because I kept waking him up when he was sleepy. I rolled my eyes, thinking it was a bit harsh, but when I glanced again, I saw Jang Yoonsung smiling as if he couldn’t help it.

“Lee Hakyung, are you being mean to me now?”

“No, I’m really curious…”

Even though he knew I was just making excuses, Jang Yoonsung answered with serious deliberation.

“Hmm…First, after a good night’s sleep, we have a quick lunch…Let’s sit like this and watch a movie.”

He hugged me even closer.

“Movie? What movie?”

“I have to see the ending of what I watched with you 7 years ago. I haven’t seen that yet. I don’t remember seeing the prequel.”

It wasn’t something to laugh about, but I burst out laughing. I never thought about that movie being included in his lost memories. He even rented a movie theater to see it, but it almost seemed like a waste.

“Surely you didn’t see it first?”

When I laughed, Jang Yoonsung asked with an anxious face. I quickly shook my head and responded.

“No, I didn’t see it. But let’s see from the beginning. From the prequel.”

“Okay. After watching both movies, we will have dinner.”

Jang Yoonsung smiled and continued speaking as if he liked my suggestion.

“Let’s finish watching the movie and go outside. I am thinking of taking a walk together and seeing what’s around.”

Thanks to the sudden chuckle, it seemed like the lie went undetected. If I had known it would be like this, I wouldn’t have watched it then.

When I heard that a sequel to the movie I saw with Jang Yoonsung was released, I had no intention of seeing it.

But one day, after finishing work late at night, I was passing by an unlit downtown area and saw it as if I was possessed. I made an excuse that no one asked, saying that I would feel relieved after seeing the ending.

Perhaps because it was a very late-night movie, I remember there were no people like when Jang Yoonsung rented the movie theater. There was no one to put the popcorn in my mouth, I threw the entire unshredded popcorn into the trash can and came out, shouting in my heart, ‘Okay, this is the end.’

Even so, I watched it one more time on the Internet under the pretext that I hadn’t decided what the ending was. I’m only going to see it once, so I’m renting it.

In the end, after renting the movie about 15 more times, I succeeded in deceiving myself that the movie didn’t do anything wrong.

“If there’s a good place to eat, let’s have dinner there.”

“Sure.”

When I answered that the plan was plausible until the end, Jang Yoonsung smiled proudly and buried his head on my shoulder again. He had a very sleepy face so I eventually put down the plate with the remaining cake on the table.

“It’s okay, finish eating. You said you were hungry.”

He pretended that it was okay to just be like this, he put his arm around my body pulled me closer, and said it was okay. He was so sleepy that he couldn’t even open his eyes.

“Hey, you know.”

“Hm…”

At this point, he must have felt annoyed speaking to me while he was sleepy, but Jang Yoonsung still answered sweetly with his eyes closed, slightly raising the corners of his lips.

“I forgot to ask you yesterday…”

“huh… .”

He didn’t open his eyes, but he nodded, rubbing his cheek against my shoulder as if he wanted to tell me he was listening properly.

“If I confess, will you cry too?”

Jang Yoonsung’s eyes widened as if it were a difficult question. But he blinked dazedly, as if he had not yet come to his senses, and then raised his head. It was a rare expression of embarrassment. It was strange, but I was also genuinely curious.

But I felt like crying was my responsibility. I didn’t want to hear him cry even when he confessed, so I changed my position and hugged him tightly.

“Hakyung…”

“I love you.”

He said I wouldn’t be able to love him because he was a man. How could a man who had never imagined unrequited love admit that he loved me? Now I feel like I have to admit it too.

“I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time, my name…”

Maybe it was from that day when we watched a movie together and walked along the beach. So, I used to think that way every time I watched that movie again. What would have happened to us if I had told everything to Jang Yoonsung that day, who would be going to America, and asked him to help us?

“I was so scared that I couldn’t say anything.”

I thought about many situations, but it never ended well. Jang Yoonsung either rejected me as a man or accepted me.

In my imagination, the more terrible ending was always the conclusion.

“I’m afraid that if I say I love you, you’ll suffer the same misfortune as me.”

The great misfortunes of my life were the loss of loved ones and poverty. I was afraid that Jang Yoonsung would turn his back on someone precious and lose everything he could enjoy because he loved me.

Jang Yoonsung, who had been listening to me with a stiff expression, finally wrapped his arms around my back. I thought I might have resented him for pushing me away because of such unnecessary worries, but he just patted me on the back as if it was okay.

“But before I could let you know, you were already calling my name.”

Just as I cried when Jang Yoonsung confessed, I wondered whether Jang Yoonsung, who didn’t know how to cry, would cry if I confessed.

But I felt like crying was my responsibility. I didn’t know why my eyes grew hot at the gentle touch.

“As if I was loving you.”

So even though I thought it was right to run away, I had no choice but to hesitate. Every time Jang Yoonsung called my name, it felt like he was telling me I could stay there a little longer. Even though I know it was cruel to give each other such space.

“I’m sorry for making you suffer for so long.”

I thought there was no way we could protect what we had other than not being in love.

“I thought if I was hurting, you wouldn’t get hurt.”

Unlike me, you had a lot. It seemed like you could be happy even without me among the countless things. So I thought that I, who didn’t have much, could live my life regretting you. I didn’t even know why your empty spot, which was never mine from the beginning, hurt so much.

Foolishly.

Jang Yoonsung removed his arms from around my body and tilted his body as if to face me. I think he noticed that I was crying again. In the end, he looked at my face, wiped away my tears with his hand, and smiled with a strange look on his face.

“Do you feel happy because I was hurting?”

“No….”

I tried to confess my love but ended up confessing at my poor speed, so I was embarrassed and grumbled for no reason, but I knew well that Jang Yoonsung was not the type of person to do that. Rather, he was someone to be pitied about.

“Why are you smiling, then?”

But he didn’t even say that. The reason why I confessed that I was hurting…

“You told me you’ve always loved me.”

I thought you would know that.

Even though my face was still wet, I burst out laughing. Do you know that every moment like this, I like you even more?

The light slowly appeared on Jang Yoonsung’s face as he leaned to kiss me. It seemed like the sun had fully risen before I knew it. The light falling on my long eyelashes was like the light I finally encountered one day in a long tunnel.