At the End of That Memory Chapter 17

For several days, I spent my mornings reading a book called <The Origin of Perfume>. Lee Taeseong also read the book, and when he turned to the last page, he looked at me with resentful eyes. The point was why I recommended such a sad book, and when I asked him if he enjoyed it, they said no.

If there was one thing I learned in the meantime, it was that Kwon Yido had read all the books in the library. As he was passing by, I asked him if he had read all of it, and he acknowledged by saying, ‘Why would I keep books on the shelves if I won’t read them?’ Like a monster. It was clear that he had 72 hours per day, unlike the rest of us.

According to Lee Taeseong, Kwon Yido seemed to work without a day off. It was said that during the time Lee Taeseong was the team leader, he was never seen making jokes. Although I lived a pretty busy life, I was shocked to hear that weekends didn’t exist for him.

Of course, the most embarrassing thing was the moment when there was no answer to the question, ‘ Lee Taesung, don’t you need a breather too?’

“You are sitting more comfortably now.”

Today too, Lee Taeseong, who was in charge of security, sat across from me at the table even though I didn’t say anything. He might have been surprised by that action himself, and he looked very embarrassed. I smiled and gave a rough gesture towards him.

“It’s just a joke, so take it easy.”

The flower tea prepared by the employee today was plum blossom tea with a sweet scent. Clusters of dried plum blossoms were floating in a glass teacup. As I was staring at it, I heard an awkward question from the other side.

“…Do you eat flowers too?”

Wow, I chuckled. I didn’t mean to laugh, but he was too cautious with my words. I covered my mouth and swallowed the laughter that was about to burst out.

“Ah…I’m sorry. It’s a cute question.”

Lee Taeseong’s expression suddenly hardened. It was a pretty harsh expression, but it didn’t do much damage to me.

“It’s okay to have it, but it won’t be delicious, so if possible, I won’t eat it. It’s similar to tea leaves floating around so it’s best not to get carried away.”

The white petals were very pretty to look at. It looked good, so it did its job well. No matter how much I think about it, it would be a waste to have it.

Lee Taeseong did as I said and drank his tea carefully. He still looked like he didn’t like it, but after drinking it for a few days, he seemed to have gotten used to it to some extent. Come to think of it, he said he never drank anything other than water without reason.

“You seemed to like the book I read last time, so I brought another book by the same author.”

When I handed him one of the books I had brought, he gave me a look of disbelief. It was as if he was asking me if it was a sad book again this time. Instead of telling him the correct answer, I just laughed incredulously.

“It’s not fun if I give you the spoiler.”

“…Just tell me this. Is the main character dying?”

“Well, I don’t remember.”

The main character probably wouldn’t die. Instead, his lover died.

“You’ll know it when you read it.”

“…”

The pitch-black eyes shook uneasily. I guess he was curious, but he didn’t have the confidence to ask. I was planning on spoiling him if he asked me one more time but I kept my lips zipped up.

I opened the book I brought and looked through the table of contents. What I wanted to read this time was a small poetry collection in French. It looked brand new, but as soon as I turned the first page, I saw letters written with a ballpoint pen.

「To the one I love」

It was nothing very special. The first words, ‘Mon Cher Amour’, were scribbled in Korean. It was just that I was somehow familiar with the handwriting.

Without thinking for long, I realized that the owner of this handwriting was Kwon Yido. It was just a simple reason because it reminded me of the card that was placed with the flower bouquet on the engagement day. The same handwriting remained on the card where the information about the flowers and lily of the valley was written.

Flapping, I turned one more page. There was nothing in the first poem, and only partial annotations remained in the second poem. At first, I thought the pronunciation of the words was written down, but that wasn’t the case; it was just an interpretation of some words.

“…”

There were both correct and incorrect interpretations of the sentences written in random directions. There were times when parts that needed to be paraphrased were translated without any preparation, and expressions that were probably idioms were written down realistically.

In the fifth poem, I found this phrase:

“I was on the moon.”

“…”

It was a poem, describing the feelings of falling in love in many ways. The part that Kwon Yido interpreted was probably not what he understood. Wouldn’t it have a similar meaning to the idiom which says it feels like walking on clouds?

I absentmindedly traced Kwon Yido’s handwriting with my fingertips. The sensation of touching the paper was strangely foreign. Why is my vision so blurry? The moment I blinked with that thought in mind, something fell onto the paper.

“Um…”

Is it raining?

“… Director?”

In my deaf ears, I heard Lee Taeseong calling out in surprise. If that wasn’t enough, he even jumped out of his seat. The chair helplessly rolled around wildly.

“Why, why are you…”

A single raindrop fell and spread, leaving a dark trace on the paper. As I slowly raised my head, something I thought was rain flowed down my cheek. Only then did I realize that these were not rain, but my tears.

“Why are you…? Where does it hurt?”

“Ah…”

I raised one hand and rubbed my eyes carelessly. I wanted to say that something came into my eyes but I couldn’t because I was sobbing. All I could do was cover my eyes with my palms and lower my head.

“It’s no big deal. Something got into my eye…”

It was nothing. I just read a poetry collection and found Kwon Yido’s handwriting there. There weren’t any passages that were touching enough to make me cry, and even if they were, I wasn’t emotional enough to cry easily.

“You got something in your eye?”

“…It’s okay, so you don’t have to worry about it.”

“How can I…”

Taeseong Lee was very flustered and came around the table towards me. It seemed like he was looking for tissue paper, but there was no way there was such a thing in the greenhouse. I was thinking of telling him that it was okay and to just read the book, but he cried out first.

“I’ll bring the tissues.”

“No, really…”

You don’t have to. That was when I was about to say that.

“Jung Sejin.”

A familiar voice pierced my deaf ears. As far as I know, there was only one person who had such a soft voice. The scent of trees mixed with the flowers, and the sight of someone who had been around for some time was getting closer.

“…Director?”

“Sejin.”

The pheromones that had been spreading quietly were suddenly close enough to burrow themselves in one’s arms. A cool body temperature wrapped around my wrist, and I pulled away the hand that was tightly covering my face. When I blinked slowly, what he saw was Kwon Yido’s unique dark eyes.

“Why are you crying?”

“…”

Funny enough, the moment I heard those words, the tears stopped flowing. It wasn’t like I burst out in sadness, but I couldn’t control it, as if my tear ducts were broken. Seeing me shedding tears, Kwon Yido cupped both my cheeks with his large hands.

Without hesitation, he got down on one knee on the greenhouse floor. He lowered his posture and looked closely at my face. Lee Taeseong, who was standing next to him, opened his mouth, but he didn’t even seem to care.

“Jung Sejin, look at me.”

Unfortunately, looking at his face didn’t help stop the tears. Rather, I wondered if even my voice was stopped by this unknown feeling. As I took a deep breath to stop crying, he wrapped his arms around the back of my head and pulled me into his arms.

“…”

A pat, an awkward hand gently comforted my back. It was a clumsy action, like someone who had never comforted another person. The funny thing was that even with that gesture, the sadness subsided.

“Hey, Managing Director, how did you get here…”

“You can leave.”

“…Yes?”

“I said you’re off and can leave.”

Lee Taeseong answered that he understood, a beat late, in a sharp voice. I couldn’t see him since I was trapped in Kwon Yido’s arms, but he probably bowed deeply to his waist. His heavy steps slowly walked away, and I spoke while holding onto his collar.

“…I’m fine.”

My voice was cracked, but the crying had subsided. Only then did Kwon Yido’s pheromones begin to gradually subside. He let out a soft sigh and slowly rubbed my back.

“You’re not in pain, right?”

A friendly voice seemed to circle me. Not only his hands but also his pheromones and voice. Everything was circling to comfort me.

“…No, I’m okay.”

“There’s nothing wrong…?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Why did you cry, then…?”

“…”

What should I do? I was making a fool of myself. The kind person consoled me as if I were a child. I kept wanting to stretch my legs to release from his hold.

“… I’m really fine.”

I lifted my head slightly to get out of his embrace. I was worried about my posture, and later I felt embarrassed. However, instead of letting me go, Kwon Yido pinned the back of my head a little more tightly to my arms.

“Let’s stay like this for a moment.”

“….”

“I know you’ve stopped crying…Just, give me a minute.”

His long fingers ran through my hair. The gentle caressing hand had a strange feeling that made my shoulders flinch. He hugged me tightly with both arms and gently rubbed his cheek against my hair.

It was after a while that Kwon Yido finally let me go. It was also enough time for me to relieve all the sadness that remained even after I stopped crying. He stroked my head several times, and in the end, I felt my ears turn red and I blinked my eyes.

“Are you really not going to tell me why you cried?”

He sat down on the chair where Lee Taeseong had been sitting a moment ago and calmly interrogated me. So the question was why I cried, but the problem was that I didn’t know why either.

“I was reading the book and…”

“Are you sad that the main character’s lover died?”

His eyes turned to the book I brought to Lee Taeseong. It was surprising that he actually knew the content, but I wasn’t crying because of that book.

“No, this is what I read.”

I neatly handed the palm-sized poetry book to Kwon Yido. The book was a crumpled mess because I was crying while holding it. If he looked at the inside, the letters would probably be a little blurred because of the tears.

“I think it’s a book you cherish. I’m sorry.”

“…”

I felt embarrassed and offered an apology, but Kwon Yido didn’t say anything. There wasn’t even a response, such as telling me not to apologize like usual. He just stared blankly at the poetry book with startled eyes.

After a while, he asked with a stiff expression on his face.

“…You read that?”

It was as if someone had discovered his diary. Well, strictly speaking, I didn’t think it was any different. I mentally prepared myself for the thought that he might get angry this time, but instead of raising his voice, Kwon Yido raised his voice cautiously.

“Jung Sejin, are you…”

What?

“… No, never mind.”

“…”

There was a reason why people often were angry if one stopped talking in the middle of the sentence. Even though I knew I shouldn’t do this, I felt like I was asking him to talk about it.

When I looked at him blankly, he frowned with an apologetic look on his face.

“It’s no big deal. I just had this crazy thought for a moment.”

Afterward, when I saw him sighing, the desire to ask him disappeared. I felt it before, but when he made a sad face like that, it was harder to resist than when he smiled.

“But Jung Sejin…”

Kwon Yido picked up the book Lee Taeseong was reading and flipped through the pages. After flicking through the pages to the end, he put the book down on the table and looked at me. The gently curled mouth looked somehow gloomy.

“Why two teacups?”

“…”

Foreboding predictions were always accurate. In general, instinct was faster than anything else when detecting bad vibes.

“The book…Yes, let’s say Jung Sejin read two books…”

His eyes alternated between novels and poetry collections. He tapped the glass teacup with his fingertips and tilted his head. Soon, he snorted lightly and muttered as if he was talking to himself.

“I didn’t say doing errands for you included teatime and gossip.”

“…That…”

Even though I blurted out the words, I couldn’t think of anything to say. But it was even weirder when I was embarrassed, so he couldn’t help but shake his head somehow. In the end, I decided to just say it out loud.

“I feel burdened having to leave Lee Taeseong standing for hours.”

The refreshingly open eyes became narrower and longer. His eyes were sharp as if he was looking into my heart. But what came out next was different from what I expected.

“Is his name Lee Taeseong?”

“…”

I blinked blankly. ‘Kwon Yido gave him to me, right?’ When I said that, he answered without changing his expression.

“Ah, I’m not even interested in the name.”

It was indeed Kwon Yido’s reason. He must have sensed my confusion, so he lightly shrugged his shoulders.

“It’s a joke, I knew it. You’re drinking tea with his bodyguard.”

“… Was it a joke that you didn’t even know his name?”

“Do I need to know?”

That was what I meant…No, now that I think about it, I guess Minjae also couldn’t memorize all the bodyguards’ names.

“For not informing you in advance, I’m sor-”

Instead of trying to apologize, I reflexively looked at Kwon Yido’s behavior. He bobbed his head as if praising me for stopping myself from apologizing. He asked me to continue talking.

“…It wasn’t like he was slacking off, but I told him to sit down and read a book. Like I said before, it’s too burdensome to keep him standing.”

I thought there was no way Kwon Yido wouldn’t know that we were drinking tea together. The person who prepared the flower tea for me in the first place was Kwon Yido’s employee. They had to prepare two cups every day, and only reporting was left for them to do.

“The book… I’m sorry for borrowing it freely. It was just as uncomfortable to sit back and watch me.”

So, I was asking him not to blame Lee Taeseong. It was unlikely that he would engage in a so-called ‘power trip’, but in human affairs, I had to be prepared for an emergency. If things got ugly because of me, the result wouldn’t be very good.

“Well, actually…”

Kwon Yido leisurely crossed his legs and tapped the table. The sight of his long index finger moving caught my gaze without me realizing it.

“It doesn’t really matter where the bodyguard sits. From the moment I appointed him to you, he wasn’t mine. You said from the beginning that it was uncomfortable, so I thought you would find a way that was as comfortable as possible.”

Kwon Yido, who had said that, raised his eyes and looked at me. The slowly blinking eyes were unrealistically beautiful. Was it because of the mood? I feel like crying again.

“Besides, Jung Sejin must have needed someone to talk to during the day.”

He said in a generous tone that he fully understood my situation. It was about twice as gentle as I expected, and it didn’t look angry at all.

However, what he said next was something I had not thought about at all.

“The thing that bothers me is that you shared a place with someone that you haven’t shared with me yet.”

“… … .”

In an instant, the atmosphere cooled down. Kwon Yido picked up the glass that Lee Taeseong had been drinking from and poured it on the floor without any sincerity. Tea water and flower petals were scattered in a mess on the stone floor.

“It feels worse than I thought.”