At the End of That Memory Chapter 22

I had no intention of being romantic. I wanted it to be as memorable as Kwon Yido had been for me. I would wait for Kwon Yido in this enormous house, hoping he would remember me.

“…”

Kwon Yido, on the other hand, suddenly grew blank and blinked his eyes slowly. He pursed his lips and quietly lowered his eyes, staring at the scent that had been brushed on his hand.

“That’s…troubling.”

Troubling? I couldn’t ask him what he meant. The words that came out like breath got directly into my ears.

“I won’t be able to work now.”

“…”

I thought of him as an unduly shy person at times. How could he say anything like that with a serious expression on his face? He may or may not have realized what I was thinking, but he spoke with slightly raised corners of his mouth.

“I’ll be back soon.”

Kwon Yido’s residence was nearly three times more empty than usual. The entire area was excessively large, and the early hours were slow enough to be deemed uninteresting. I went to the greenhouse as usual, with a book in hand, and even my companion Lee Taeseong was thoroughly absorbed.

“…My salary has increased.”

Lee Taeseong spoke only one syllable as if possessed by a ghost. I was ready to ask him more questions, but then I realized why his income had increased and chose to remain silent. It didn’t seem necessary for me to mention that it was compensation for taking care of me.

Cold-cooked sea urchin roe and squid were served for brunch. It was a tad sour, but it did the job of whetting the appetite. The flat-grilled plump prawns, jeon, and delectably seasoned Yukhoe were all menu items that took my preferences into account.

I went back to my room as soon as I finished eating and vaguely spent the time. Looking at the car keys on the table, I decided to return them to Kwon Yido when he arrived. He would never bring up the subject of car keys unless I initially brought it up.

“It’s been a week…”

I sat calmly on the couch, staring into nothing. A whole week without him. It was lengthy if it was long. If it was brief, it was brief. A period of independence during which my employer, who remained as a shadow, did not interfere with me.

‘Please bring just one document.’

Work needed to be done. I had no choice but to comply with the order. This meant that it was not a matter of whether to do something like that or not, but only ‘how to do it’.

It wasn’t that I felt bad. I felt deeply sorry, but my feelings for Kwon Yido had not yet matured. Even if it was only a sincere kiss and a flirtatious exchange of words. I could reassure myself that Kwon Yido didn’t feel the same way about me.

“… Why did you have to leave the house at a time like this?”

If there was a God of timing, he would undoubtedly be a very playful being. That, or teasing me was a pastime.

I slowly rose from the sofa and tiptoed to the door, making no sound. Even though I was the only one in the room, I felt compelled to exercise caution from now on. I was leaving the room and heading to the study on the second floor, which he had warned me not to enter.

If you were to ask me why, I’d say it was just an intuition. He worked there, and he paid special attention to it. Typically, essential information was kept in such a location. Of course, I hoped that Kwon Yido, a meticulous individual, would not keep anything in a house with a stranger who was engaged to him.

“…”

I walked through an unseen corridor till I arrived at the study at the end. My heart was racing quicker than I had anticipated. Because of the carpet on the floor, I couldn’t even hear the footfall, but I imagined that if I did well, I’d be able to hear my pulse racing.

When I arrived at the front of the study in this manner. I pressed my frigid hands to the familiar wooden door. I wasn’t sure if I was feeling apprehensive because of what I was going to do or because of anything else.

I cautiously turned the handle on the study door. Because my hands were cold from the tension, even the ordinarily frigid metal seemed lukewarm. My palms were sweaty and I was afraid I’d miss the handle since I was so frightened.

I swallowed dry saliva and tightened my grip on the doorknob. Slowly, extremely slowly. The long door doorknob was yanked. Soon after, just as I was preparing to take an active step with a minor resolution,

“…”

Clack. The doorknob, which was sliding down smoothly, came to a halt in the middle. It appeared to be caught on something, and the door would not even turn correctly, let alone open. As I let go of the breath I had been holding, I let out a helpless laugh.

The study had already been locked.

* * *

Some things in the world couldn’t be done via hard work. No matter how much I wanted it, it was frequently ineffective if the conditions did not support it. I didn’t think it was necessary to add a word or two because there were so many examples.

So when I checked the locked study, the first thing that came to mind was relief. It was nothingness, and it was ultimately disappointing. I wasn’t sure what had disappointed me, but it wasn’t regret for not being able to recover the information.

I tried my best but couldn’t find it.

I didn’t know where the information was.

It was a good justification, even if it meant being a stupid and inept son. My father most likely understood there was nothing I could do about it. Kwon Yido had declared he didn’t trust me, so what could I do?

– Were you sleeping?

Kwon Yido called me the next day. It was still early in the evening in the United States, possibly about 6 p.m. I couldn’t sleep after taking two sleeping tablets, so I tossed and turned in bed all night.

“No…I was up.”

Oh, I should have cleared my throat and accepted the call. I never imagined my awkward cracking voice would be so humiliating.

“Did you arrive safely?”

– I arrived safely… I didn’t know if you were awake or asleep.

“…”

I halted for a moment as I was about to get out of bed. He might detect information he didn’t need to know if he was overly quick-witted. I heard a pleasant voice on the other end of the phone while rubbing my painful temples.

– Do you still have severe insomnia?

“No, yesterday…”

It was just different from the norm. I was about to respond that I was sleeping well these days when I became aware of something unusual and abruptly stopped speaking. I slept well in this place and never used sleeping drugs, so how did Kwon Yido know I was suffering from insomnia?

“…I couldn’t sleep well because Kwon Yido wasn’t here.”

Instead of asking probing questions, I chose to gently redirect the topic. It was because the moment was too hazy to ask questions. He spoke softly as if the words and lip service weren’t awful enough.

– You can sleep in my room, so do whatever is comfortable.

“Yes, well…”

I couldn’t refuse with empty words. The moment I heard his words, I was truly captivated.

“What did you call about instead?”

I rose from my seat and drew back the curtain that covered the window. In the early morning light, the green garden appeared wonderfully enigmatic. A pleasant air blew in as I sat on the window ledge and opened the window.

– It is nothing else, but there’s some material I left behind, so my secretary will stop by in the afternoon. If it’s okay if you could give it to him…

“If it’s materials…”

A guilty conscience needs no accuser, does it? As soon as I heard those words, I straightened my posture. Kwon Yido just spoke as usual with his unique, clear pronunciation.

– There will be a laptop on the table in my room. Just unplug the USB plugged in and give it to the secretary.

“You mean USB?”

Why did Kwon Yido, who was so meticulous, leave something behind? While traveling 10 hours to another country? Considering that he sent a secretary, did he leave the country alone without a secretary?

– Yes, USB. If it’s okay, you can go and take a look now.

I closed the window again. I felt nauseous and my heart seemed to be beating irregularly. When I didn’t answer anything, Kwon Yido added his words in a calm tone.

– Don’t hang up.

“…I didn’t hang up.”

I tried to keep my voice quiet and pretended there was nothing wrong. There was no reason to be anxious because he didn’t know anything and didn’t ask me to explain myself. Of course, the data Kwon Yido was referring to was not the same as the information I was looking for.

I walked across the corridor, my phone clamped to my ear, towards Kwon Yido’s room. The other end of the phone was silent, and I had to be quite scared for him to hear my breathing. I tried to knock on the door out of habit, but I stopped and put my hand down.

– Have you had breakfast?

As soon as the door opened, Kwon Yido asked vaguely. I slowly pursed my lips, enjoying the rush of pheromones. “Not yet. What about you?” When I asked that question, a soft voice answered softly.

– I have to go eat soon.

“Please don’t skip your meals.”

What did Kwon Yido say earlier? He told me to do whatever was comfortable and I could sleep in his room. It might be better for me to be shameless and be indebted to someone rather than take a sleeping pill that didn’t work. Just smelling his pheromones for a moment caused my eyes to close.

– Are you there?

“Yes, it’s a black USB, right?”

On the table was a laptop with the Seonho logo on it. Perhaps the stuff he was referring to was the USB plugged in next to it. I took out the USB and mistakenly focused on the pile of paper next to it.

“Later, to the secretary…”

The lips closed in an instant. I was going to say that I would hand it to my secretary when it happened. My throat clenched and my breathing became constricted as I struggled to get my words out, as if a stone had descended on my chest.

– I’ve been giving you trouble since the morning…

I couldn’t understand a word Kwon Yido said. My ears went deaf, and I believed I heard a beeping noise. I took a big breath as he hung up the phone, saying goodbye, and held the disconnected cell phone in my hand.

* * *

I had no idea how time had passed. I dashed out of Kwon Yido’s room and locked myself back in. I would have been in a stupor till lunch if the staff hadn’t summoned me for breakfast.

I felt quite uneasy after eating breakfast like that. I didn’t even want to go to the greenhouse where I usually visited.

My favorite books didn’t even attract my attention. I sat silently in the room, lazily passing the time.

After I finished eating, Kwon Yido’s secretary came to see me. My stomach felt stuffy as if I’d gotten sick from eating too much food. I was afraid that if I showed that I was sick, Kwon Yido would call me, so I was suffering alone in my room.

“I’m here on an errand for the managing director.”

The secretary appeared to be a young man in his 30s. He wore narrow glasses and resembled Chief Kim in certain ways. He received the USB I handed him and inquired, slightly shocked.

“…Are you uncomfortable?”

I forced a smile because I was afraid I was about to make a mistake. I pretended nothing was wrong, but at first glance, I questioned if my appearance was really that awful.

“No, I had trouble sleeping. it’s okay.”

The secretary instantly nodded when I opened his eyes. He left the house immediately after nodding—it was only a short visit. Anyone who saw him would think of him as someone who put his words into action.

“…Ha.”

I walked to the second floor, pressing the area around my stomach. I still didn’t want to leave the house, and my heavy tummy was making me uncomfortable. It would be preferable if I could at least get some sleep. I had been plagued with insomnia until this happened.

The last room was located on the second floor. Although coming and going was inconvenient, it was an ideal location for a private room.

The door was closed with a click. I hadn’t remained here in a long time, and I assumed it was just my place. I’ve never felt this at home or in the office where I’ve been working since I was 20.

Nonetheless, I kept feeling queasy because Kwon Yido’s comments kept popping into my thoughts.

‘I’ll bring a gift when I come back.’

I strolled into the area where the table was set up, dazed. A soft white sofa separated the living area from the bedroom on the right side. It resembled Kwon Yido’s room but had a slightly different layout. I sat on the single sofa instead of the large sofa and quietly glanced at the table.

‘What do you want?’

“…”

If I told him what I wanted, how would he react? How much could he give to someone whom he helped with their heat cycle and kissed them?

‘I am a person who can give you more than you think.’

I carefully retrieved the papers from the table. The text, which was in English, was full of programming terminology that I didn’t understand. Even without the new terminology, it was evident what the numerous diagrams and explanations represented.

“… At least he can’t give me this.”

It was the substance that my father desired. It was a story about a newly announced mobile phone from Seonho Electronics. Kwon Yido had agreed to provide my father with information about the security system.

I had no notion how much information was contained in this stack of paper because I was not an expert. I understood that at the very least, accepting this would demonstrate my seriousness. I imagined what expression my father, who had always disapproved of me for my flaws, would make.

‘As expected of my son.’

“…”

What was I thinking when I took this out of Kwon Yido’s room? My body moved ahead of my mind, and I tried to justify the fact that he wouldn’t be returning for a few days. My chest was hammering and hurting, but I tried not to notice and closed my eyes.

It was a robbery. If Kwon Yido found out, I might be evicted from the house straight away. He would not only break off our engagement but also sue me for theft. When he would return, I would be caught stealing.

‘I have to make up for it, so wouldn’t it be better to say anything?’

My hand trembled slightly as I held the document. I was afraid the paper would crumple, so I carefully placed what I was holding on the table. In the corner, the Seoho group mark seemed somewhat wrinkled.

It was, as expected, preferable to return the document before it was too late. Perhaps this document would be of no value to my father. Going home empty-handed would be better for my health than scraping and making a mess.

‘Useless bastard…’

My gut twisted until it hurt. The unchanging gaze was engraved onto my flesh like a scar after countless years. The rippling, undulating floor felt like it was swallowing me up to my head and pinching the back of my neck.

‘No, he will abandon you.’

I didn’t want to be left behind, whether it was by my father or Kwon Yido. I didn’t want to feel pushed to the brink of insanity again, like when I was barefoot in the snow.

‘The only ones you can trust is your family.’

The family I knew wasn’t like this. The fence I’d been hoping for and wanting so far must have been the kind that was hard to have.

“…”

I felt like I was about to puke at any moment. Could it be that the meal I was made to eat was the source of the problem? I continued getting nauseated whenever I relaxed even a little. I’d feel better if I puked once. Even as I was thinking this, my body did not move smoothly.

‘Jung Sejin.’

It would have been preferable if he hadn’t forgotten anything. He could have buried it somewhere I couldn’t find it, such as in his study.

I had the impression that the source of my rage was wrong, but I couldn’t think sensibly. The thoughts that came after each other were too intense for me to contemplate.

I believed it was best not to eat dinner. If I ate anything else in this state, my stomach would be destroyed. If Kwon Yido called, I was going to tell him that I had gone to bed early.

I sat down on the table with the documents I had discreetly stolen, chewed and consumed a few sleeping pills, and went to bed. I curled up like I did when I was a child after covering my head with the blanket. Fortunately, sleep came earlier than normal for me as a result of keeping up all night.

For the first time in a long time, I experienced the most terrifying nightmare that day. It was a dream in which Kwon Yido struck me across the face with the same steely eyes as my father.