At the End of That Memory Chapter 23

It had been three days. The absence of Kwon Yido was not as lonely as the first day. The following day, I returned to the greenhouse and casually read books.

Kwon Yido had someone do the arduous labor of installing lights in the greenhouse while I was at home, as promised. They ran a line from the ceiling to the light, which turned on automatically late at night. I didn’t arrive while it was dark, but even without seeing it, I thought it was lovely.

“What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?”

As usual, I was drinking tea. Lee Taeseong abruptly inquired. I was enjoying the beautiful lavender perfume and admiring the flower petals floating in the teacup. It couldn’t be flowering season yet. When I thought about it and asked him why, Lee Taeseong looked even more perplexed.

“The managing director said there was no need to come to work tomorrow.”

“…Hm.”

What is going to happen tomorrow? I considered it, but nothing occurred to my mind. It wasn’t the day Kwon Yido had returned, nor was it the day I was meant to go out. The only thing I could surmise was that they were, at best, allowing him some leeway.

“Well…It’s maybe you could rest.”

Kwon Yido must have a thought. Lee Taeseong’s countenance changed as I talked with that concept in mind. He followed me, sipped his lavender tea, grimaced, and quietly opened his mouth.

“Can I ask you one thing?”

“Please do.”

I put down the book I was reading and looked Lee Taesung in the eyes. He was still frowning, his enormous hands gripping the teacup.

“I’ve been wondering for a while. Is there any point in me protecting you?”

“…Hm.”

This piqued my interest as well. What did Kwon Yido mean when he appointed Lee Taeseong as my bodyguard? There would be no reason for someone to be this close to me if monitoring wasn’t the goal.

“Well, you should ask your boss about that.”

But there was nothing I could say in response. I wasn’t the one who recruited him, so how could I possibly know what Kwon Yido was thinking? Lee Taesung claimed to be a bodyguard as well as an errand boy, and if he said it was pointless to be a security guard, he would have him run errands for me.

“I don’t know much.”

Lee Taeseong kept his mouth shut when I answered gently. I pulled out my phone, looked at the time, and stood up. It was nearly time for lunch, Lee Taeseong put down the book he was reading and joined me.

Before the main course, Tarak porridge with thinly sliced chestnuts was served for lunch. It was crimson and sticky, but it had a savory finish, so it wasn’t too unpleasant to eat. Originally, aperitif dishes were always served, but a few days ago, it appeared that only items that were easier to digest were being served. As if he was already aware of how I had behaved that day.

It was three days ago. Documents were stolen from Kwon Yido’s room that day. I threw up everything I had eaten the day before as soon as I woke up. The chilly perspiration I had drenched all night had made the bed shambles, and my complexion was pallid and unattractive. If my father had seen me, he would have thrown me out, saying I was useless.

What was the source of my nausea? The true picture remained somewhat hazy. I obviously couldn’t digest my food, but I was sick because of the nightmare I experienced that night.

‘You should have got the gist already.’

Kwon Yido, whom I encountered in my dream, had on his face a chilly expression that he had never shown me before. He narrowed his eyes and gazed down at me as if I were an insignificant insect. The pheromone rush was probably more painful than the numb, swelling left cheek.

My insides felt like they were being cut open with a knife. Kwon Yido was the only dominant Alpha I’d ever encountered. He’d never sprayed such ferocious pheromones before.

Even if it was simply a dream, I decided it was preferable to die. The sensation of being sprayed with pheromones on my naked body was more terrible than being sick with the flu as a child. It was excruciatingly painful and heartbreaking, so much so that when I opened my eyes, my entire face was filled with tears.

Is it true that nightmares change on a daily basis? No, I think the dream of being treated coldly by Kwon Yido was preferable to the dream of being raped by an unknown man.

 

 

Anyway, after emptying my stomach, I pretended nothing had happened and went downstairs to eat. It was merely instinctual stubbornness because there was nothing to be gained by displaying my anguish. It could have been a coincidence, but all of the meals provided that day were porridge.

“He said he’d be back the day after tomorrow…”

I went back to my room, sat on the couch, and calculated the date. I thought a week was a long time, but after experiencing it, I realized it was terribly short. My thinking was so intricate that organizing my ideas felt like it took all day.

“…”

The materials I stole from Kwon Yido were still on my room’s table. I couldn’t force myself to walk back into his room, even though I knew I had to. Despite the fact that I kept it hidden in my bookcase in case a staff member found it, I developed the habit of taking it out and checking it with my own hands in the afternoon.

‘Jung Sejin.’

Kwon Yido contacted me. His remarks were not as pleasant as usual. The same may be said about the frigid words that followed.

‘You will regret this for a long time.’

“…”

There comes a time once or twice in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. This had happened many times in my case, and I felt like this was another one of them. Should I betray Kwon Yido, or should I betray my father?

“… Betrayal.”

I laughed out loud. How dare I use the word betrayal when he had no faith in me to betray? Even if he was too confident in himself, wasn’t his ego too puffed up?

I had to make a decision before Kwon Yido arrived…

With that in mind, I closed and opened my rigid eyelids. I hadn’t slept adequately for more than three hours in three days. I couldn’t sleep even if I took sleeping pills, and once asleep, I was afraid I’d have a nightmare, so I couldn’t sleep.

 

 

When I turned my head subconsciously, I noticed a glass dome on the nightstand next to the bed. Kwon Yido presented a beautifully designed bouquet on the day of the engagement ceremony. I noticed perfume in a glass bottle next to it.

…Of course, it would be better to return it.

I fiddled with the band on his left ring finger, as was my habit. It was something I unwittingly done the past few days while I was lost in thinking. Kwon Yido gave me this house, this room, and even the car keys I had laid aside.

No matter how fundamentally I was born and raised, I was conscious of how unknowingly I was about to do what I was about to do. The very act of contemplating this was a dreadful thing to do. I would have put the documents back in their proper position a long time ago if it hadn’t been for the incessant buzzing of voices.

‘I know the grace of raising even animals…’

“…”

The goal of this marriage was for Haeshin to return, but wasn’t it necessary for me to exist in this way to prove my worth? The reason for my existence was to carry out my father’s orders, shouldn’t I do everything in my power to safeguard the family to whom I would return someday?

Despite my best efforts to make a sensible conclusion, the worry I had been avoiding at the end came up with me. Whatever happened the next day, I had to put an end to it. Three days have already gone by with that concept in mind. Even though I knew it was important to move quickly, I couldn’t bring myself to make a decision.

“…”

Finally, I got up with the stack of paperwork and carefully concealed them in a corner of the bookshelf. It would be two days before Kwon Yido returned. Whatever happened, a decision would have to be taken the next day. Nothing would be resolved if I left it like way and fretted about it.

I had ignored the fact that he had told Lee Taeseong not to come to work till that point.

 

 

* * *

I soaked in the bath water offered by my staff after dinner. The bubble bath had a lavender smell, comparable to the tea I drank during the day. Is it true that lavender has a relaxing effect? It seemed like the stiffness in the back of my skull was easing.

I jumped onto the bed in my robe after taking a shower. My hair was still damp because I had only lightly wiped away the wetness. I couldn’t raise a finger, even though I knew I needed to change my clothing and lie down.

It was a good thing I had taken the medication beforehand. I was feeling drowsy at the perfect time. All types of jumbled thoughts were scattered one by one in my remote brain. The terror of an unknown nightmare faded away without me noticing.

I kept thinking that it was extremely hot after falling asleep like way. Every time I drew a breath, scorching heat emanated from my neck, making it feel as if I had swallowed a fireball. The temperature was unusually rising despite the fact that it was not meant to be this hot.

Am I dreaming?

That was what I thought at first. I wasn’t sure whether this feeling could come from a dream because I had such vivid nightmares. I would wake up feeling rejuvenated as if nothing had happened.

‘Sejin.’

After all, it was a dream. A familiar voice addressed me as Sejin and murmured tenderly to me. When I didn’t respond, a sweet voice reached out to me.

‘Jung Sejin.’

The man grasped both of my wrists and forcibly pinned them to his bedside table. I had no intention of resisting, but it seemed as if he wouldn’t give me the tiniest chance. He snickered as he grasped my thigh with his other hand and forced my legs wider.

‘If you wanted to fuck that much, you should have said it in words.’

It was clearly sarcastic, yet instead of feeling awful, my heart wrenched. I couldn’t think of an excuse, but I also couldn’t get away from him. I inhaled deeply and blinked my eyes open.

‘Spread your legs properly.’

His face was obscured. I had no idea who the other person was because my vision was blurry. It was a familiar voice, but I’d never heard it in such a frigid tone before.

‘…Ugh.’

He placed his hand between my legs without saying anything. His fingers touched my intimate area and delved beneath me without hesitation. He stopped and muttered in mumbles after checking my already moist hole.

‘Being treated like this…’

He exhaled a deep breath. The man instantly retracted his fingers and tightened his grip on my thighs. He relaxed his grip on his hand. My arms, though, remained spread across the bedside. Something huge pierced me roughly downward as I was gasping for air.

‘…!’

My insides felt like they were being squashed flat. The pillar that had driven open my tiny inner wall gradually retreated without giving it time to react. It was pushed all the way to the roots without any acknowledgment.

‘Oh, it hurts…’

‘…It hurts?’

The man reflexively stopped his movements and asked back at the words that were moaned. Then, he carded his hair with one hand and let out a laugh.

‘If I press like this…It hurts?’

My completely erect penis was seized by a huge hand. I was not sure when it started, but a thin liquid was already dripping from the tip. The man stroked my tip with his thumb and pressed his penis, which was deeply implanted.

‘Ugh…!’

My lower abdomen was tense. My legs screamed as they were stretched to their breaking point, and the inner walls that had been wrenched open ached like they were torn. The previously heightened sexual feeling, on the other hand, showed no indications of abating.

‘If you don’t want to be an asshole…’

‘Ah, hmm…!’

‘It would be better to relax.’

The insides of my thighs shook. He grasped my pelvis as if to stop me from rushing away when I twisted my body as if I had cramps. The penis that came out scratched the inner wall for a long time and pushed in with a squeal.

When the man penetrated me a few more times, I ejaculated. I remember him yelling something insulting when he saw the bursting sperm. He flipped me over half-heartedly, as if he were manipulating an object, and spoke in my ear while placing his fingers between my wing bones.

‘I told you you would regret it.’

“Ugh!”

The previously blocked air was let out loudly. At the same time, I opened my eyes wide as if experiencing a seizure. The anguish that felt like my body was being ripped apart vanished, and my entire body stung as if boiling water had been thrown on it.

“Huff…Huff…”

I curled up in a circle, but the heat that had already begun to spread couldn’t be stopped. With my molars clenched, I dragged the blanket away with my fingertips and gulped dry saliva. The pheromones that sprang out like I was suffocating and the longing that filled my stomach.

It was a heat cycle.

* * *

Professor Shim predicted that the cycle would advance by nearly a half year. There was no way to prepare, so I’d just have to keep alert for a week or so. I didn’t dismiss what he said, but it was true that I was more relaxed than usual because I was at home.

“Mmh…”

But I never expected it to happen so quickly. My cycle was still more than a week away. Of all, even with advance notice, it wouldn’t have been any different than it is now.

“Ah…Ugh…”

In agony, I writhed and groaned. I couldn’t tell if it was perspiration or tears flowing down my temples as the heat surged through me. My erect penis was pressing against the fabric of my gown as I turned over and buried my face in the bed sheets.

“Ugh…Hng…”

I reflexively caressed my bottom, but it still didn’t feel like enough. I was sick of masturbating since my hands were weakening. After touching it a few times in vain, I forced myself to ejaculate in order to avoid feeling irritated.

“…Ha.”

I couldn’t tell you what time it was. The fact that it wasn’t completely dark suggested that the sun was at least high enough to rise. It wouldn’t be long before the staff arrived to pick me up. Will he come inside the room if I don’t react, or will he give up and leave?

In any case, it wasn’t a really appealing alternative for me. I didn’t want to be seen this way, and I didn’t want to be alone in the room. Through confused vision, I saw the door solidly closed amid sentiments that even I believed were contradictory.

‘I picked up a defective product…’

“…”

I forced a moan down my throat. I drew the blanket over me and wrapped myself up to my head to keep any noise from escaping. I felt as if I couldn’t breathe, but I desperately wanted to hide somewhere out of sight.

Why was I hiding like a criminal when I hadn’t done anything wrong? While I felt a feeling of injustice, I was also resigned to the fact that there was nothing I could do. It’s always been like way, so why should I blame myself now?

“…Ugh.”

Through the gap between my lips, a moan mixed with tears escaped. As usual, the door visible through the gap in the blanket was snugly shut. Until next time. That door would not open until the heat cycle was completed.

‘I’ll be back.’

I burst out laughing. It wasn’t because I had an unintentional thought of the person in question, but because the sensation I had when I thought of him was longing. He only came to see me in the greenhouse once, but I had no expectations this time.

I blinked slowly and swallowed my sorrow. My intense desire plagued me and became a misery worse than pain. Two days…No, perhaps three days? At the very least, Kwon Yido would come home.

I was about to bury my face in the blanket with that thought in mind.

A loud knock was heard. It wasn’t anything remarkable, but I couldn’t figure out why my heart was pounding so hard. I could barely lift my eyelids when I noticed the door was still snugly locked.

“…”

I believe I hoped for it. I hoped that a previously closed door would open this time. I thought someone would come to me and soothe my distress. I hoped that the other person was the person I was thinking of if I could hope any more.

I blinked, then closed and opened my eyes. A minor modification happened in the scenery, which remained static. The doorknob was gradually lowered, and the securely shut door clicked open.

My eyelashes fluttered as I felt disoriented as if I were dreaming. Someone who entered the room slowly turned to face me. A well-dressed suit and a strong wood odor.

“…Kwon Yido.”

It was Kwon Yido.