At the End of That Memory Chapter 3

Warning: The following chapter contains strong use of vulgar language and implications of non-consensual sex and sexual assault.

 

‘Sejin-ah.’

The escape was non-existent. Someone caressed my ear and rubbed the edge of my cheek with a thumb. The hand that went down to my neck gently pressed down on the hollowed collarbones and then slowly moved away.

‘Sejin-ah.’

Again.

It was that man again.

‘Jung Sejin.’

‘…’

I wanted to answer, but my voice wouldn’t come out. A subtle pressure weighed down on me as if someone was choking me. Beyond the hazy vision, I saw a man’s figure, appearing like a fog.

‘If you want to save your company…’

The man slowly reached out and patted the back of my hand. His large hands wrap around the back of my head and grab my hair roughly. My lips parted slightly as my head was lowered in vain.

‘You have to act like a prostitute.’

I couldn’t even understand what he was saying. In the blink of an eye, his approaching mass of flesh squeezed through my narrow gap. Ttak, the corners of my mouth wide opened limitedly, and screamed as if they were torn apart.

‘Ugh…’

I felt like I was out of breath, choking. The nausea that had risen to my throat was blocked by the feeling of pressure on the root of his tongue. The genitals pushed in slowly, scraping the roof of my mouth, and advanced inward.

‘Open your mouth properly’

Can a dry voice feel so cold? Tears welled up in my eyes unconsciously, running down my cheeks before I could hold them. It would have been nice if it was just physiological tears. Unfortunately, some emotions were attached to those tears.

‘Jung Sejin.’

The man’s call was urgent. The urge to hurry up and do it properly and quickly, and not show an inkling of sincerity even when I was crying. What did I do wrong, why are you doing this to me? There was no time to ask questions like that.

‘Mmh…’

The sensation of my neck being forced open was always so unfamiliar that it sent chills down my spine. I wanted to pull my head back, but the hand holding my hair completely blocked even the slightest retreat. The glans that had been pushed in, expanded its territory deeper inside.

‘Haa…’

The man stopped inserting it only after he had pushed it all the way to the hilt. With a low groaning sound, he slowly leaned back. The half-extended genital pierced my throat a little more mercilessly.

‘Hmf..!’

Pubic hair crossed the tip of my nose. I unknowingly pursed my lips at the sudden feeling of nausea. My front teeth touched my genitals, and the man stopped moving and yanked my hair.

‘…!’

Blink, the scene changed. This time I was lying on the hard floor with my legs apart. I was taken aback by the sudden change of circumstances. A raised voice came from somewhere.

‘Well, this is a first…’

An unfamiliar hand groped her thigh. It was a creepy sensation like an insect crawling. The man spread my legs left and right and pressed his lower body, giggling creepily. It was at this moment I felt something touch my bottom,

‘Ah…!’

Terrible pain flooded me like a wave. The penis that dug into the narrow entrance touched the inner wall as hotly as a ball of fire. Every time the blunt tip struck my inside, it seemed that my intestines were twisting wildly.

‘Ah…Ugh…’

I instinctively tried to get away from him. I jerked their upper bodies, screamed, or twisted my legs when I was caught. However, things did not go the way I wanted.

‘Fuck, stay still’’

The scenes that followed intermittently were mostly dotted with shame that made me want to die. The feeling of a large hand grabbing my neck, the sensation of savagely slapping my cheek, even the feeling of turning over and laying down like a dog.

‘Hah, Ugh…’

I was unable to swallow the saliva flowing from my gaping mouth. I must have bitten my tongue wrong, so there was also a slight taste of blood. The person who slammed my head on the floor let out a disgusting breath with his penis inserted all the way to the root.

‘…Fuck, did you even with anyone? Fuck your hole is tight like a virgin.’’

‘Ah, mmh…’

‘It makes me want to loosen you up…’

The sensation of my body splitting in half was too distinct. I tried to crawl forward, but he pressed me down with merciless gestures. My breath filled up to the tip of my chin, and drops of blood formed on my fingertips as I scratched the floor.

‘You fucking slut…Look, how you are tightening up because you like it too.’

‘Hgh, no…!’

‘Your pheromones…it’s amazing too.’’

I felt like my stomach was turned upside down. Nausea welled up from the inside of the pit of my stomach every time my body was shaken. In the end, I wanted to vomit and the man muttered in a breathy voice.

‘Honestly, I didn’t even expect…’

I didn’t know what that word meant. But what was certain was that the words that followed took away all will to resist.

‘…that…you would be here…’

‘…’

The voice that pierced my deafened ears was cruel, like a death sentence. When I involuntarily stopped moving, I heard a laugh of satisfaction.

‘It should have been like this before.’

After that, the same material was repeated. Only after tearing my bottom did the man ejaculate, and crimson semen poured from my entry where his penis emerged. Gradually, the resentment that had taken root as well as the sense of contempt that had grown vanished.

‘Let’s eat together sometime. Okay?’

‘…Haa.’

It felt like everything was over. The feeling of having my heart lifted was more painful than the pain I felt from below. Tears flowed incessantly, and breathing quickened as if something was broken in me.

All in all, the nightmare ended there.

“…!”

My eyelids blinked open. A familiar ceiling came into view beyond the changed landscape. I blinked my eyes a couple of times and twitched my cold fingertips. As I let out a deep breath, I felt the fresh air around me.

Oh, it was just a nightmare.

As soon as I realized that fact, all the strength in my body was drained. As if my blood started circulating, my stiff muscles were relaxed. When I slowly turned my head, I saw a medicine bottle with “1 tablet per serving” written on it.

“…When did I fall asleep?”

Yesterday, when I got home, I went straight to bed after taking a shower. Half the thought of not wanting to sleep, half the obsession to sleep. After long consideration, the latter won, and I swallowed the sleeping pills without water while holding the medicine bottle in my hand.

The result was this. It was a new nightmare that I had never seen before. Unlike the past, which was scary at best, this nightmare was unpleasant as if it were covered with filth. No matter how many sleeping pills I took, this was a bit too much.

“…Well, now…”

Without sincerity, I pushed the medicine bottle away and slowly raised my upper body. The bottle helplessly fell. I had eaten all the remaining pills, so I heard a hollow sound every time it hit the floor.

The clock on the bedside table indicated that the time was 7:00 a.m. I woke up later than usual, but about an hour earlier than planned. Even if I prepared leisurely, it would probably be a long time before the driver arrived.

“I need to take a shower first.”

I groaned softly and ran my hands through my sweat-soaked hair. I must have struggled all night, and my clothes and blankets were also a mess. The fortunate thing is that I had time to wake myself up and wash up before it was too late.

I staggered down from the bed and walked to the ensuite bathroom at the back of my room. With each step I took, the clothes I had taken off yesterday caught at my feet. Those were clothes I wouldn’t wear if they got wrinkled, so I didn’t think it was a waste.

‘Sejin-ah.’

“…Haa.”

The nightmare that started at some point became clearer as the day of the engagement got closer. At first, I only vaguely remembered the dream, but now I vividly recall the emotions, moods, and feelings. The man I met in his dream grabbed my hair with his strong hands and whispered as I had my head tilted back.

‘You have to act like a prostitute.’

There was no knowing as to who he was and why he was making such demands, or why I was in this situation. I just vividly recall the sensation of my body being forced open and the sadness I felt at the time.

‘Let’s eat together sometime. Okay?’

No, today was a little different.

‘…that…you would be here…’

What did I hear in my dream that made me give up resisting? Why did the lower part of my chest hurt more than the lower part, which was torn to the point of bleeding?

I had countless nightmares, but it was the first time I felt like this. I never had sex with someone else, let alone have some kind of trauma. The helplessness that flooded in was too vivid to be dismissed as simply a dream.

“I don’t know if I should break the marriage…”

A marriage partner who dreamt of being raped every day. It was clear that Seonho would be asking where did he bring such a psychopath. If that happened, my father would kick me out of the house without hesitation.

I chuckled and took off my clothes one by one. It would be nice to have a deep soak, but I didn’t intend to go that extravagant. After somehow getting some sleep, all that was left was to safely prepare for today’s engagement ceremony.

Today was the last chance for the Haeshin Group for which my father had been waiting for so long.

* * *

The engagement ceremony with the Seonho group was supposed to be held quietly in the dark. Rumors and gossip spread, but the official announcement came much later. I heard that the wedding was also undecided, but in the end, it was just a cover-up.

Anyway, early in the morning, I went to the shop that Chief Kim reserved to set up my clothes and hair. When I put on my formal dress, there were only three staff members who clung to help me with the dress. One handed me a tie, another prepared a jacket, another knelt to put on my shoes, and so on.

After that, there was a small quarrel among the staff. Was it better to slick my hair or to leave it as it is? After discussing for a long time, they concluded an amicable agreement among themselves, saying that it would be better to part it half and half since my exposed forehead looked pretty. It was a conclusion without my opinion and the person in charge, even Chief Kim nodded his head, so I decided to just do it.

“Looking at it now, there will be five of us at the wedding.”

In the car heading to the dining room. To the half-joking, half-serious comment, Chief Kim replied with an expression devoid of even a hint of laughter. If I had to do well, then I might have had to prepare in advance from the night before.

“Aren’t you nervous?”

I casually looked out the window. The scenery passing by quickly was peaceful as usual. On the other hand, I felt…a bit ambiguous.

“Well.”

The perfectly equipped outfit felt very awkward today, but the inside was comfortable rather than wrinkled. Even the ivory-colored robe, which Minjae described as ‘fucking copper,’ did not suit the soft texture.

“It’s not that I have seen them yet…”

“So I do not know.”

Chief Kim shut his mouth with a complicated face. The naked gaze felt stinging through his glasses. Are you going to be nervous at the ceremony, but he gave up trying to ask that question.

“We have arrived, Director.”

The car, which had been moving for a while, stopped in front of the guesthouse of the Myungsung Hotel. The driver got out of the driver’s seat and turned around the car to open the back door. As I was about to get out of the car with a thank you, I smiled slightly at the driver’s outstretched hand.

“I will ask for you to escort me when I’m in my wedding dress.”

Sometimes there were people like that. Speaking of Omegas, the Betas habitually try to escort them. I wasn’t wearing a long skirt, and I wasn’t wearing high-heeled shoes. There were a lot of women among the Omegas, and it seemed like it was because there were so few unique traits.

“Ah…Sorry.”

The driver shyly retreated his outstretched hand. When we made eye contact to signify that it was okay, the tips of his ears turned reddish. Chief Kim, who got out of the car belatedly, saw the scene and coughed.

“Jung Sejin-nim, I will take you inside.”

Security officers were posted at regular intervals on the route to the annex after the hotel staff. It didn’t appear like my father had ordered it, and I assume it was because Seonho had trained the workers. I believe it was more obvious this way, however, it might be to deter reporters.

“You can wait here.”

The clerk stood in front of the waiting room and opened the door. Slowly, through the crack in the open door, I could see the doorway on the other side. I should probably go out through that door, but that wasn’t the point.

“The smell of flowers…”

It smelled like flowers. Not just one or two flowers, but a gorgeous scent as if I was in a flower garden. The inside was decorated with colorful flowers. From white, yellow, pink to purple. All of them were fresh, without exception.

“…Did the hotel prepare it?”

I know that flowers couldn’t be missing at an event like this. But, it was the first time I had seen a room decorated with so many. How did they know that? They were all my favorite flowers.

“It was prepared by the Seonho Group.”

The staff told me in a calm voice that my guess was wrong. He didn’t stop there and pointed to the table inside.

“They told me to prepare everything with fresh flowers.”

A bouquet was neatly placed next to the card with “Jung Sejin” written on it. Not at a wedding, but at an engagement ceremony, and to an arranged marriage partner. With lilies that were especially hard to find.

“If you need anything…”

Was it a coincidence or a trick of fate?

As if possessed, I approached the table in the center. I couldn’t hear what the staff said. When I opened the card folded in half, something was written on it…

“…Did you like flowers?”

Chief Kim immediately asked me a question as soon as the door was closed. It was a very surprising tone, but it wasn’t that I couldn’t understand that feeling. I put down the card and held the swaying bouquet in one hand.

“Yeah, well…”

If it was a flower, I liked it. Not exactly flowers, but the cozy scent they contained.

“I like it.”

When I was very young, I wanted to be a perfumer. Trees, flowers, grass, dirt, or sand. Each different element was used to give a different feeling depending on the season and the weather. Having been intoxicated with its subtle charm from a long time ago, I seem to have thought that one day I would be able to own this fragrance.

“I especially like lilies of the valley…”

The person who once heard about my ambitions (I didn’t remember whether it was my father or mother) replied with a puzzled look on his face. The fact that an Omega did not have the smell of pheromones, how absurd was that?

“This is a flower that is often used as a perfume because it smells good.”

There are only two errors in this story. First, it was not the smell of pheromones, and secondly, my pheromones were not odorless. Regardless of all this, my sense of smell was far better than the average person’s.

“…I didn’t expect you to like things like flowers.”

“Because I didn’t tell you.”

Anyway, something similar happened several times, and I stopped telling anyone about my dream of becoming a perfumer. It was only right that he wasn’t even given a chance to speak. My future was only running on the solid road that my father created.

“If I had known in advance, I would have bought it more often.”

“Haha…Chief Kim to me?”

The taut shoulders loosened. As soon as I smelled the fragrant flower scent, the unknown anxiety disappeared like melted snow. Instead, what came to mind was a pleasant smile that came from the heart.

“You should do that for your wife.”

Actually, it seems that I was unconsciously nervous. Seeing how I felt so emotional with just one flower bouquet. When I noticed that the other person was a good person even in this kind of business.

“Also…Fresh flowers are better than perfume.”

I slowly rolled my eyes. Seeing me like that, Chief Kim blinked his eyes blankly. He stayed still for a while, then lowered his gaze a beat later.

“There will be many fresh flowers in the garden.”

The words that followed were somehow tinged with bitterness. I didn’t answer, I just put down the bouquet I was holding. The scent of lilies of the valley that remained on my fingertips made me feel comforted for the first time.