The Night Of The Untraced Chapter 3

Well, to be honest, he could say that much. It’s just that after that, when Jinwoo asked how it was between two guys, Seungjoo had no words to respond. The fact that he had harbored a crush on that guy for over ten years, and to hear words like “You cried a lot yesterday” coming from that guy’s mouth, was something he could never utter while sober.

“…I got drunk yesterday and blacked out.”

So Seungjoo came up with a reason based on the truth. He didn’t want Jinwoo to feel really frustrated just sighing all the time. Knowing enough, Jinwoo responded as if he understood, “Ah,” and then opened his eyes wide after a pause.

“Wow… you were perfectly fine though?”

“That’s what I’m saying.”

That was another unfair part for Seungjoo. He was clearly, definitely, undoubtedly in a perfectly fine state when he left for the bar yesterday. He must have been so fine that there were messages in the group chat among colleagues like “Seo Seungjoo can really hold his liquor.”

“Wow, can drinking habits be that docile? I puked on the street on my way home yesterday.”

“Damn, mind your drinking.”

“Sorry.”

But why couldn’t he remember anything except what happened with Muheun? If he couldn’t remember, he could just ignore it. It hadn’t been even 30 minutes since he resolved to forget, but he still wanted to know the identity of the hole in his memory. Why did he happen to meet Muheun yesterday, why did they head to the apartment, and what was the reason he cried so much?

In a wild stretch, Seungjoo looked at Jinwoo’s ear piercing and was reminded of Kim Muheun. Jinwoo got his ear pierced, huh. Kim Muheun had three more below. Five in total including the earlobe… With such thoughts in mind, he shook his head abruptly.

“Hey, don’t worry. You didn’t make any mistakes at all. Did you worry because of that? Don’t worry. You made it home on both feet.”

Jinwoo laughed refreshingly and poured more alcohol into Seungjoo’s glass. So after drinking so much yesterday, he was planning to drink heavily again today. Seungjoo frowned deeply and pushed his soju glass away.

“I’m not drinking today. And I know I didn’t mess up at the bar, but I messed up on the way home.”

“Why, did you also puke on the street?”

“Hey, I told you not to say that while we’re drinking.”

“What else could it be? Public urination?”

“…It’s not like that.”

How much should he reveal? Seungjoo pondered seriously. If he answered vaguely, Jinwoo might even think he had indeed resorted to public urination.

“I just… did something wrong to a guy I know…” He managed to utter these words, but couldn’t continue. It was because of the unfair feeling that arose within him, wondering, ‘Am I really the one who did something wrong?’ Eventually, after concluding that it was a mutual fault, Seungjoo subtly furrowed his brow.

“I can’t remember. At all.”

“Oh, that’s… unfortunate…” With a deeply sympathetic expression, Jinwoo placed some meat on Seungjoo’s plate. It was nicely grilled while Seungjoo sighed. Accepting the suggestion to eat first and think later, Seungjoo nodded in thanks and took a bite of the deliciously cooked meat.

Of course, after chewing and swallowing the meat, he sighed deeply once again.

“Sigh…”

“Why is he like this?” Suddenly, a voice interjected. Seungjoo looked up with a puzzled expression to see Seohyun, who had arrived late. Jinwoo greeted her warmly as she put her bag into a chair shaped like a drum. Meanwhile, Seungjoo filled the empty paper cup with water for her to sit down. Jinwoo had already filled her shot glass even before she sat down.

“Seungjoo got drunk yesterday and blacked out.”

“Yesterday?” Seohyun, who also grabbed a shot glass, frowned in confusion. However, guilt passed over her wrinkled face soon after.

“Hey, sorry. It’s because of me…”

“…”

Seungjoo’s cheeks twitched as he straightened his expression. He had spoken comfortably because only Choi Jinwoo was there, completely unaware that Seohyun would overhear.

“It’s not because of you… I couldn’t control myself.”

He responded in a sullen tone, but Seohyun’s expression didn’t soften. Curious, Jinwoo couldn’t resist interrupting.

“Why? How is it your fault if he got drunk?”

“No, it’s because of a crazy guy yesterday who kept pushing alcohol on us, so Seo Seungjoo ended up drinking it all.”

That was the reason why Seungjoo got unexpectedly drunk yesterday. It was because a senior male student from the same department kept trying to feed Seohyun alcohol, so Seungjoo intervened, fearing something bad might happen. Fortunately, other seniors quickly took the senior away, but Seungjoo had already drunk enough to be heavily intoxicated.

“Wow… trying to act cool alone!”

“It’s not like that.”

Seungjoo took the tongs from Jinwoo’s hand, warning him not to say unnecessary things. Seohyun looked uncomfortable, but ultimately, it was her who couldn’t control herself and drank too much. It was too embarrassing a situation to boast about how cool it was.

“So, that’s why you passed out and couldn’t make it home properly yesterday?”

“Not exactly…”

“You made a mistake with a guy you know on the way home?”

“That’s unfortunate.”

Two sympathetic gazes fell upon him, along with cautious questions.

“Did that guy get really mad…?”

“No, he’s not the type to get angry about that.”

Kim Muheun getting angry? That was unheard of. Maybe even if Seungjoo had hit him while drunk, he wouldn’t have been upset. Wasn’t it a characteristic of the neighbors to just let things slide no matter what happened?

“Hey, if you don’t make mistakes at twenty, when will you? It’s okay, it’s okay. Eat and forget about it.”

Although Jinwoo said so, the consolation of a twenty-year-old wasn’t particularly helpful. Seungjoo swallowed a sigh as he placed the meat on the now clean plate. Inside, he harbored a phrase he couldn’t say to Jinwoo or Seohyun.

‘It’s not the first time, so it’s not a big deal…’

On January 1st, when he turned twenty, he drank champagne brought by Muheun from the neighboring house to commemorate becoming an adult. On that day, Seungjoo had made a similar mistake as yesterday, standing in front of two identical doors, slightly intoxicated.

“Seungjoo should stop drinking.”

It started like that, nothing special. He had just slightly exceeded his drinking limit because the champagne tasted good for the first time in his life. And just when he thought he should stop drinking, he felt a little unfair when Muheun snatched his glass away and drank it himself.

“Seungjoo’s weak with alcohol.”

“You guys are strong.”

Unfortunately, Seungjoo was the only one who got drunk at that gathering. Muheun hardly drank at all, and Kim Muryeong and another guy had the kind of constitution that never got them drunk. In the village of the blind, the one-eyed man was abnormal, and as an ordinary person, Seungjoo couldn’t help it.

“Just go to sleep. It’s way past your bedtime.”

Normally, it was time for him to have already fallen asleep, and Seungjoo blinked his sleepy eyes, forcing himself to dispel drowsiness. While ignoring Muryeong’s advice to go to bed, Muheun started to tidy up, saying he would wait a little while to take him home. There was no need for him to take him since they lived next door, but as always, that damn overprotectiveness was the problem.

“Seungjoo, let’s go home.”

Of course, Seungjoo quietly waited for Muheun to say so. There was no other reason, and even if he said he would go alone, he wouldn’t be heard. It was better to silently endure a little nagging than to listen to a long lecture and end up with bruises.

“Let’s go, Sulgi.”

That’s where the second problem arose. Because Muheun knelt down and kissed Seolgi on the cheek, who was whimpering not to go. Due to that affectionate and gentle gesture, he suddenly felt emotions he had never felt before.

“Baek Sulgi, don’t you see me?”

He realized for the first time how terrifying being drunk was. Should he call it envy? Or should he call it resentment? Feeling jealousy towards such a small (not really small) and clever creature, he couldn’t trust the flood of emotions that rushed over him. Seolgi soon laid her chin on Seungjoo’s lap, but even as he stroked her trembling fur, the shock didn’t subside.

“Happy New Year to both of you.”

“…You too.”

So he buttoned up his coat all the way to his neck and tried to hide his face. He didn’t want Kim Muryeong, who was quick-witted, to figure something out. That’s why he barely managed to answer Muryeong’s greeting and hurriedly left the entrance hall before Muheun.

“I’ll go with Hyung.”

However, the tall Muheun happened to walk faster. Before crossing the yard halfway, Seungjoo ended up walking side by side with Muheun. As they walked across the yard paved with cobblestones, Muheun let out a thin smile.

“Our Seungjoo is quiet with alcohol… I won’t worry even if he gets drunk outside.”

“…You’re not our parents.”

“Well, you’re not entirely wrong.”

If only it was a feeling directed towards Seolgi, whom only Muheun cared for, it would have been better. But the emotions that arose with intoxication were more complicated than that. So he walked all the way to the front of the house with a stubborn face, but when he saw Muheun greeting him, he couldn’t help but feel strange.

“I’ll go, Hyung.”

“…”

Should he just leave like this? As he had done so far, he would just leave after dropping him off at the front of the house, without any lingering feelings. After leaving like this, he would have to anticipate another uncertain meeting.

So finally, tired of waiting, he was annoyed by the subject that even made him dislike his own feelings.

“Hyung.”

It was impulsive. Yes, it was simply an impulse, neither more nor less. So annoyed by the subject who was being overprotective, yet didn’t regret parting ways, and after chatting with Seolgi for a while, he turned his back on him with just a word, feeling annoyed.

“Why…”

I remember the moment when Muheun made a puzzled expression. From approaching him to forcibly pulling him down by grabbing his collar, even lifting his heels instinctively while looking at him with wide eyes.

“…”

“… .”

What did I feel at the moment our lips touched? I worried for a moment if there would be a smell of alcohol. After the cold winter air blew him away, the touching lips felt truly fleeting. We used to kiss like this often ten years ago. Over time, different emotions got mixed in.

While the contact was momentary, the distance felt like an eternity when it moved away. I don’t know how long it lasted, but it certainly wasn’t a brief moment. The subject was so nervous that his breath trembled, and he exerted a tremendous effort to pretend not to care.

“Happy New Year.”