Sunshine Shower Chapter 100

Despite the sluggishness typical around this time of year, Moon Seoyoon was managing to get through each day relatively well.

His relationship with Woo Yeonjae was the same. It was almost embarrassing how anxious he had been, worrying that his feelings might have been discovered, because Woo Yeonjae acted just as he always did. Given the timing, there were moments when Seoyoon even felt like Woo Yeonjae was playing the role of his caretaker.

He would drag Seoyoon to the table at set times, and on weekends, he’d make sure Seoyoon got some sunlight. So, it wasn’t entirely wrong to say that. In truth, it was more like being swept up in everything, but without Woo Yeonjae, Seoyoon would have probably spent all his time, except for work, lying in bed doing nothing.

He was grateful, but at the same time, worried that he might be relying too much on him. It was a concern for the inevitable future, a fear of what would happen when Woo Yeonjae was no longer by his side.

‘Is this what they call seasonal depression?’

The thought of summer depression, which tends to come with anxiety rather than lethargy, would sometimes invade his mind. There were cases where it could even lead to self-harm or suicide attempts, but Seoyoon was fortunate in that he had never experienced those feelings.

“Well, I haven’t exactly had the time for that.”

Seoyoon muttered to himself as he changed into his outdoor clothes.

Even though he had experienced mild depression since he was sixteen, he had never felt the urge to be overly self-destructive. As a student, he still went to school during vacations, and Woo Yeonjae and his other friends were always by his side. Due to the nature of preparing for college entrance exams, he spent almost all his time with them, leaving little room for idle thoughts.

Even in the summer of his 20th year, Woo Yeonjae had been there. Although the two years after that were a bit of a void, by the time he was twenty-one, he was busy with military service, and at twenty-two, he had just started a part-time job at a café, meaning he had no time to sink deeply into depression.

‘Once this period passes, things will slowly get better since the anniversary is coming soon.’

Once it was over, the inexplicable anxiety would likely fade as well.

Seoyoon tried to calm the uneasy feeling in his chest as he left his room. As soon as he stepped into the living room, Woo Yeonjae came into view, his eyes already lazily fixed in his direction as if he had been waiting for him to come out.

“I told you to just take my car.”

“I’m stopping by home anyway, and I have things to pick up, so I’ll grab my car while I’m at it.”

The cemetery where his mother was interred was quite a distance away. It was more convenient to drive than take a taxi, so he planned to stop by home to get the car.

“Oh. Is there no parking at your place?”

“That’s not a problem.”

“Good. Then I’ll just bring my car.”

“Are you leaving now?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll give you a ride.”

“I can take a taxi. No need to trouble yourself.”

Woo Yeonjae subtly furrowed his brows. His straight eyebrows briefly twisted in frustration.

“Oh, so Moon Seoyoon thinks it’s a hassle if I offer to give him a ride during times like these? No heart, huh?”

“What are you talking about? That’s not what I think.”

It wasn’t as if he had anything urgent to do, and giving his friend a ride home wasn’t a difficult task. But accepting Woo Yeonjae’s offer so easily wasn’t something Seoyoon could do, probably because of the feelings he was trying to hide.

“I don’t think that either.”

Woo Yeonjae motioned toward the door with a tilt of his head.

“So let’s go together.”

Moon Seoyoon bit his lip before finally nodding.

“When will you be back?”

As soon as the car came to a stop, Woo Yeonjae’s voice came from the driver’s seat. Seoyoon, who had been staring blankly at the house surrounded by tall walls, slowly turned his head. Though it wasn’t an unfamiliar place—his family home—he still felt uneasy instead of at ease.

“I don’t think it’ll take long… I’m not sure who’s home right now.”

He had come without any prior notice, worrying that it might cause some awkwardness if he had. Yet, no matter how he thought about it, it felt strange to ask for permission to visit his own home, even if it was just to avoid discomfort.

“Alright.”

“Why?”

“It’s easier to coordinate the time if I know.”

Since they often had dinner together on days when Seoyoon didn’t have work, it made sense to plan ahead. Seoyoon nodded agreeably and reached for the door.

“Thanks for the ride. You’ll be at the apartment, right?”

“Probably.”

“What do you mean ‘probably’? Anyway, I’m going. See you later.”

As soon as Seoyoon stepped out of the car, the humid air hit him. The sun was glaringly hot, and he figured it would be quite warm once he reached the cemetery.

Seoyoon only went inside the house after Woo Yeonjae’s car had disappeared from sight. The sunlight reflecting off the grass stung his skin, making him realize how cool it had been in the car.

“Seoyoon.”

An older woman greeted him warmly as he entered. She had worked for the family even when his mother was alive. Seoyoon smiled lightly and bowed his head.

“It’s been a while. How have you been?”

“You should visit more often. You even live away during vacations. I feel a little lonely.”

She chuckled warmly and patted his back.

“By the way, did you come to see your father? He’s not home. I think he’s busy with a conference even over the weekend.”

“Oh…”

So he’s busy. Seoyoon suddenly wondered how his father was going to observe his mother’s death anniversary. He forced himself to push aside the negative thoughts creeping into his mind and responded to the woman’s words.

“It’s okay. I just stopped by to grab something. Oh, and I’ll be taking the car when I leave. Could you let my father know if he asks?”

“Got it. Are you heading upstairs? I’ll bring you a glass of juice.”

It had been a while since they last saw each other, and it felt awkward to refuse, so Moon Seoyoon simply thanked her.

He headed towards the study. When he opened the door, the familiar scene unfolded, unchanged from his memories.

Rather than slowly taking in the surroundings, Seoyoon walked straight to his destination. Since he was picking up the car, he thought he’d also grab a few photos from the album. Ever since seeing photos of Woo Yeonjae’s mother at his house, it had bothered him that he didn’t have a single photo of his own mother.

“Why isn’t it here?”

The album wasn’t in its usual place. Seoyoon carefully scanned the bookshelf, running his hand along the spines. Since the album had a different texture from the books, it should have been easy to spot, but strangely, it wasn’t visible.

Thinking it would be quicker to ask the housekeeper, Seoyoon stepped out of the study, only to run into her as she was bringing the drink.

“So, the study is where you needed to go?”

“Yes. Have you seen the album by any chance? The one my mother made when she was alive.”

“Oh…”

The housekeeper’s expression turned troubled as she gave him a hesitant smile.

“It was moved to the piano room. When I was cleaning the study the other day, your father asked me to move it.”

Taking the drink from her, Seoyoon nodded calmly. He wasn’t surprised by his father’s decision, given that someone new had moved into the house, but it still stung inside.

“Thank you for the juice. I’ll return the glass later. I appreciate it.”

“Alright.”

As he started toward the piano room, the housekeeper gently touched his arm.

“Seoyoon…”

“Yes?”

“The professor mentioned that he’s thinking about getting rid of the piano. Have you heard?”

“…What?”

Hearing this for the first time, Seoyoon blinked in surprise. Seeing his expression, the woman hesitated, letting out a deep sigh.

“Oh no, I shouldn’t have said anything. It seems you didn’t know yet. I just asked, just in case. After all, both you and your mother used to play it.”

“This is the first time I’m hearing about it. When did he say that?”

“About a month ago, I think…”

A month ago wasn’t recent, and there had been more than enough time for his father to mention it to him. Was this the reason for the unease in his stomach? Feeling like he was going to be sick, Seoyoon bit the inside of his cheek reflexively.

“…I guess he was planning to talk about it after my mother’s death anniversary.”

Even as he spoke, his voice felt like it was catching in his throat.

“He said that since you don’t play much anymore and that you’re planning to go to the U.S. after graduation, it might be better to get rid of it.”

“The U.S.?”

“Aren’t you going to study abroad? That’s what he told me.”

It seemed his father had made a decision based on something Woo Yeonjae had casually mentioned in passing.

Seoyoon barely held back a sigh. He didn’t want to show any emotional turmoil in front of the housekeeper and make her feel uncomfortable.

“It’s not set in stone yet, but… I haven’t been playing much lately.”

“You don’t look well. Should I get you some water? Oh dear, I must’ve upset you by bringing it up.”

Seoyoon hurriedly waved his hand.

“No, it’s okay. I was just a bit surprised since it’s the first time I’m hearing about it. I’m fine now. I’ll go look for the album in the piano room.”

“Alright, alright. If you need anything, just call me. Okay?”

“Yes.”

He had to try hard not to let his hand tremble while holding the glass.

As he stepped into the room where the piano stood alone, Seoyoon immediately closed the door behind him and slid down onto the floor.

He pushed the glass, now covered with tiny beads of condensation, aside. He was scared that he might accidentally break it.

“…Hah.”

Only then did a long sigh escape his lips.