Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols Chapter 443 - Reappearance (3)

≫ Something big is coming on Unmanned Rest Area

Naturalist man againㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

└ Is that title for real? T_T

└ Already hyped

 

Everyone had been eagerly waiting for the broadcast, but I couldn’t sleep properly at all until the day it aired. For a while, if someone had asked me what I was most afraid of in the world, I would have answered, ‘Seeing wild introverts on TV’.

 

“It’s over. Spark’s image is finished. Next time, it’ll be four members, then five… one by one, we’ll all be dragged away until the final group photo is just all of us roasting marshmallows together.”

 

“Marshmallows sound pretty modern.”

 

“…Damn it.”

 

Even Lee Cheonghyeon’s remark made too much sense, which only made it worse. Seriously, what marshmallows? More like we’d be lucky if they weren’t roasting bananas on sticks. While everyone else enjoyed torch-grilled bananas on French toast, I could already picture us surviving on nothing but campfire-roasted bananas like some kind of one-food diet.

 

“Shall we turn the camera on? The broadcast starts in ten minutes!”

 

Jeong Seongbin said. We had set up a cam in the dorm to record our live stream reaction as a self-produced content piece.

 

My memories of the last time we watched were filled with nothing but anger. I wondered if filming this would even be fun, but…

 

‘Hyung’s reaction is funny, so it’ll be fine!’

 

…Because Lee Cheonghyeon had put it that way, the content happened. If it could provide entertainment for the fans, I didn’t mind showing my rage as many times as needed. I also reminded myself to smile occasionally so the atmosphere wouldn’t get too heated.

 

“It’s starting!”

 

As the members huddled in front of the screen, the commercials ended with perfect timing. Soon, the screen was filled with warm sunlight and lush green trees with new buds—a scene as beautiful as a painting.

 

『A Warm Spring Morning』

 

The pink subtitles were even adorned with a sparkling effect.

 

『???: The weather is nice.』

『???: It really is…!』

 

In sync with the friendly voices, the camera panned down from the vast sky. Choi Jeho, Park Joowoo, and Kang Kiyeon appeared, standing side-by-side.

 

『Hello, we are Spark!』

 

Immediately following the short and bold greeting, a VCR introducing the cast followed. Grandiose titles like ‘Blue Chip of the Advertising World’, ‘Center of the Buzz’, and ‘Pro Idols’ decorated scenes from the Bright music video, the Nydas photoshoot, and music show fancams.

 

『And…』

 

Along with an ominous ellipsis, a close-up of the tattered Choi Jeho, who looked nothing like his previous polished self, filled the monitor with a disinterested face.

 

『Jeho: Do we even need a house?』

『Kiyeon: Huh?』

 

Besides this, a deluge of legendary scenes followed. A highlight reel—popular enough that Lee Cheonghyeon could recite the lines without breathing—emphasized their previous antics with dramatic effects.

 

『Unmanned Rest Area History’s First ‘Visitors Who Lived Without a House’』

 

The captions went even further. I wanted to say our boys weren’t that much of stars, but the ‘n-million views’ tags on every MeTube thumbnail shown as evidence made my defense futile.

 

『A New Colleague Joins the History-Makers!』

 

My worries eased slightly when the gentle and harmless-looking Park Joowoo appeared. They even added a cherry blossom effect for the spring season, making Park Joowoo look like a single flower a sparrow had plucked.

 

But the relief didn’t last long.

 

『Kiyeon: Hyung, don’t you smell something burning?』

『Joowoo: Ah, my clothes got singed a bit earlier…』

『The New Member Possessing a Personality That Won’t Be Outdone!』

 

“……”

 

“Hyung, are you okay?”

 

Jeong Seongbin placed a hand on my shoulder and asked.

 

“No, I’m not. My heart has died.”

 

“You can’t die already, hyung.”

 

“What on earth did you guys do over there?”

 

Kang Kiyeon didn’t answer. For some reason, only Choi Jeho spoke up nonchalantly.

 

“Still, we lived better than last time.”

 

“Can I trust that?”

 

“Hyung, you trust Jeho hyung? They say in bungee jumping, the rebound after the first drop is scarier than the fall itself.”

 

Lee Cheonghyeon’s words made my world collapse again.

 

『Start of the unpredictable trio’s island survival story!』

 

“It says ‘unpredictable’! It says ‘survival story’!”

 

“Hyung, calm down!”

 

“It’s over. Even calling him ‘Zestralo-Erectus’ was too generous. My newly opened Spark jewelry shop…”

 

Regardless of my wailings, the boat set sail. Choi Jeho and Kang Kiyeon sat on the deck as if they were used to it and pulled out sunscreen. Park Joowoo hesitated for a moment, then sat down on his bag and started applying sunscreen.

 

“Joowoo.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Why are you sitting on your bag?”

 

The once bright white bag, shining under the sun, was now crumpled beneath him, completely overshadowed.

 

“I had to wear these clothes for a few days, so I couldn’t let them get dirty.”

 

“And it’s okay for the bag to get dirty?”

 

At my question, Park Joowoo replied plainly.

 

“I’m on a deserted island, I have to give up on some things…”

 

It was a remark so easy-going it was hard to believe it came from Park Joowoo.

 

The poor bag was then shaken vigorously by Park Joowoo’s rough hands. A small speech bubble next to the bag read, ‘I’m in pain…’

 

『PD: Today, we’re going to give you a special guide for survival.』

『Kiyeon: Really?』

『PD: We heard there are many poisonous plants on this island. So, for your safety.』

 

A handmade guidebook appeared, looking like it had been printed and stapled together at the station.

 

If they were going to make something like that, couldn’t they have at least included the location of nearby caves? At the very least, if they’d called me, I could’ve made them a full-color, ultra-high-definition, 100-page guidebook.

 

“PD-nim, if you ever see this video… I’m really good at making things like that. Please, just trust me once and leave it to me. I’ll make everything from A to Z. I’m begging you.”

 

“Does that mean you’re going to send us to a deserted island again?”

 

“Sorry, I take it back.”

 

Fearing Kang Kiyeon’s words might become reality, I quickly swallowed my words. On screen, Park Joowoo was carefully placing the guidebook in his bag.

 

Whether it was thanks to the sunscreen or the guidebook, the members arrived at a desolate beach looking a bit brighter (according to the subtitles, they had traveled for 17 hours).

 

Choi Jeho, carrying a suspiciously thin bag that made you wonder if it even had a toothbrush; Park Joowoo, with a bag flattened like a sheet of dried fish; and Kang Kiyeon, the only one with a bag in its original shape, stepped off the boat with solemn faces.

 

『Jeho: Shall we find a place to build a house first?』

 

Surprisingly, Choi Jeho relieved my deepening worries. I was almost moved to tears.

 

『PD: You’re building a house this time?』

 

Wait, PD-nim, did you want them to sleep outdoors again? Surely, they should show some growth, shouldn’t they?

 

『Kiyeon: The hyungs kept telling us to please build a house this time. We want to show a changed side of ourselves.』

 

≫ Building a house?

Don’t lie, since when did you guys live that luxuriously?

 

≫ Choi Jeho lost his roots.

He’s getting greedy for real estate.

 

“Everyone seems disappointed that they’re building a house?”

 

As Lee Cheonghyeon noted while looking at the real-time comments, viewers were expressing disappointment at the sad news (?).

 

I knew the staff called them back because they wanted to film the same raw image as before. But they could show that rawness in other ways, not just by sleeping without a roof. Choi Jeho and Kang Kiyeon had more than enough potential for that. That was why I had begged them to at least sleep in a proper place. Thankfully, the clever Kang Kiyeon hadn’t forgotten my request.

 

Choi Jeho stopped at a spot on the beach where the ocean stretched out in front, and a forest stood behind. The younger two came up and stood on either side of him.

 

『Joowoo: What are you thinking about…?』

『Jeho: I’m thinking of a way to build a house efficiently.』

 

I had a bad feeling. Choi Jeho and… efficiency?

 

The Choi Jeho on the screen scanned the beach with a serious face. My anxiety spiked.

 

『Jeho: Joowoo hates bugs.』

『Joowoo: Yeah…』

『Jeho: Shall we… elevate the sleeping area?』

『Kiyeon: Like a hammock?』

 

Choi Jeho drew a picture in the sand. His plan was to weave a grid-like floor between trees spaced at regular intervals and sleep on top of it.

 

He even proposed a countermeasure to ward off flying insects and stay warm. He planned to light a fire under the wooden floor. To prevent the fire from spreading, he suggested digging a deep pit and placing the bonfire there.

 

Watching the completed drawing, Park Joowoo spoke.

 

『Joowoo: I know what that’s called.』

『Kiyeon: There’s a name for a house like this?』

『Joowoo: …Smoking.』

 

Due to the shocking naming, the ‘Smoked House’ was rejected. It was a house that would have been scrapped due to fire hazards anyway, but the fact that it got rejected before even being attempted was somehow both a relief and a little sad.

 

The conversation then veered off-track endlessly: ‘Actually, digging a hole in the ground and sleeping there is better’, ‘Why haven’t we improved?’, ‘Would it be cold to sleep in a cave?’. After a long detour, they decided to build a simple house on the border of the forest and the sea.

 

Choi Jeho drew a long horizontal line on the dirt ground. Then he called Kang Kiyeon to sit next to him and asked:

 

『Jeho: Can you dig here?』

『Kiyeon: How much?』

『Jeho: Enough for a head to fit.』

『Kiyeon: You’re going to sleep with your head in the wall?』

『Jeho: That way, we don’t need pillows.』

 

“That damn obsession with pillows, seriously!”

 

I completely lost it and shouted. I couldn’t handle it anymore.

 

“Hyung, the camera is rolling!”

 

“I know! I know they’ll edit it out, but still, everyone, I’m sorry!”

 

“Isn’t it better than chopping logs?”

 

“How is that better?!”

 

Regardless of my agony, Kang Kiyeon began digging into the soil without a word of complaint. Watching him, Park Joowoo offered a sharp observation.

 

『Joowoo: If we sleep with our heads in here, won’t sand fall on our faces the whole time…?』

『Kiyeon: !』

 

It was a display of intellect not seen in Choi Jeho or Kang Kiyeon. I clasped Park Joowoo’s hands.

 

“Joowoo, you’re saving the team…”

 

But Park Joowoo ignored my praise. He kept avoiding my eyes and turning his head away; I thought he was just burdened by the compliment, but…

 

『Joowoo: Let’s dig all the way through to the top so it’s easier to breathe.』

『Kiyeon: Oh, okay.』

 

…It was just a guilty conscience. Park Joowoo had even picked up a pair of holey gloves from somewhere and was digging into the dirt diligently.

 

“Is there some kind of underground energy flow on that island? Why do they all turn weird as soon as they go there?”

 

“It’s surrounded by water; something’s bound to be flowing.”

 

Choi Jeho poured oil on the fire of my anger. With perfect timing, the screen highlighted Choi Jeho, who had gone off on a walk by himself.

 

『PD: What are you going to get?』

『Jeho: Pillars. Since one side will be supported by the dirt, we only need a pillar for the other side and a foundation for the roof. Wouldn’t four be enough?』

 

So he was really planning to just slap a roof over that low dirt structure—they really only planned to sleep in there.

 

And even then, Park Joowoo and Kang Kiyeon were digging the whole thing out. If he didn’t return soon, they’d be sleeping in a right-angled triangle house.

 

Choi Jeho, walking lazily, found a sturdy and straight branch that wasn’t too thick. He stood the discarded wood up and suddenly brought his nose to it.

 

『PD: What are you doing? (Confused)』

『Jeho: Joowoo is sensitive to smells. I can’t have it smelling strange.』

 

“You guys seriously have your priorities completely messed up!”

 

In the end, I completely exploded just ten minutes into the broadcast.