Approximal Guide Vol. 5 Chapter 1

Even though drops of blood mixed with medicine were dripping from the back of my hand, Kim Moohyuk held my hand and led me.

“The medic said you should finish the IV!”

“I know my body well. Besides, are you going to speak informally in front of others too? I don’t mind. If anyone asks, I’ll just say we’re close enough to get married.”

…This crazy guy has no filter. But I was so flustered by his words that I missed the timing to argue back. Kim Moohyuk glanced back at me and then practically dragged me out of the emergency room. I heard the medic calling “Captain Kim Moohyuk!” from behind, but he didn’t look back even once.

Since we both came in an ambulance, there was no proper way to return to Garam-dong. Kim Moohyuk unhesitatingly pulled me onto a cart usually used by guides. The driver, who was used to the slender guides, glanced at the much bulkier Kim Moohyuk and asked,

“Unless there’s an event, we don’t usually give rides to espers…”

“Oh, driver. This person is a patient. We just came out of the ward.”

In the end, I had to make excuses for the silent Kim Moohyuk. The driver muttered, “Doesn’t look sick… strange…” but didn’t tell Kim Moohyuk to get off the cart. It was a relief, if anything.

As we headed inside, there were no other passengers on the cart, probably because it was late. I went to sit in a seat where two people could sit side by side and gestured for Kim Moohyuk to join me. The cart’s ceiling was a bit low, so Kim Moohyuk bent over awkwardly and sat next to me. As soon as the driver confirmed that Moohyuk was seated, he started the cart. There were many carts going from the medical ward to Garam-dong, but the one we were on also stopped by the training ground and the research building, so it seemed like it would take a while.

“If you’re tired, get some sleep. It’s bothering me that we couldn’t disinfect.”

“Disinfect? This?”

Kim Moohyuk chuckled and showed the back of his hand. The medicine mixed with blood had dried and looked messy, but his hand was clean without a single wound. It was both annoying and a relief that he recovered quickly after receiving guidance.

I felt sorry for him, suffering from an unmarked ischemia, but I was also a bit relieved. I wanted to smile, feeling thankful, but he lowered his head and buried his face in my neck.

“Hey, what are you… what are you doing…”

I whispered quietly, worried the driver might hear, but he just rubbed his nose against my neck without answering.

“Hey, Kim Moohyuk…”

As his nose kept brushing against my neck, I felt strange. Kim Moohyuk intertwined his hand with mine and kept shaking his head gently while pressing his body against mine. His bangs touched my neck, and his lips brushed against my collarbone. I shrugged my shoulders, feeling ticklish, and he made a soothing sound like comforting a child.

“Stay still. We both heard the medic say to receive guidance.”

Yeah, I heard it. But who would have thought he’d do this on the cart? Still, I couldn’t push him away when he said that. I tried to calm the tingling feeling in my lower abdomen and the blush on my cheeks, but it wasn’t easy. Kim Moohyuk kept rubbing his nose against my neck as if he didn’t care. Just when I thought his lips would touch my neck,

“Ahem!”

The driver cleared his throat and pointed to a sign on the window. It was an A4 paper notice.

No guiding in the cart! Embarrassment if caught!

Seeing the notice, I pushed Kim Moohyuk’s forehead with my palm. …Yeah, it would be really embarrassing if caught…

But Kim Moohyuk just laughed at me. Does he think it’s funny? But his carefree laughter was also comforting. I ended up laughing with him and forgot to press the stop bell until the next stop was Garam-dong, getting scolded by the driver again.

“You’re late pressing the bell because you’re fooling around on the cart!”

“…I’m sorry.”

Feeling embarrassed, I apologized to the driver, and Kim Moohyuk stared at me before bowing his head to the driver as well. Yeah, the driver must have a lot of troubles too. He’s probably an ordinary person working in the center after signing a confidentiality agreement. How embarrassing it must be to see espers and guides sticking together and making out. I understood and apologized, but I was worried that the ill-tempered Kim Moohyuk might say something to the driver. Surprisingly, he followed my lead and apologized, which was admirable. Even though Kim Moohyuk might seem rude, it was a relief that he wasn’t completely unreasonable, thanks to the etiquette education I gave him while raising him by my side since childhood.

We walked side by side through Garam-dong toward our accommodations. Each time our hands brushed lightly, I flinched, surprised by my own reaction. What’s wrong with me? Feeling ridiculous for being so self-conscious, I found myself clenching and unclenching my fists repeatedly.

We continued walking without exchanging words. I stole glances at him, but Kim Moohyuk didn’t seem to pay me any mind. I wondered what he might be thinking, but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to ask.

When we finally arrived at the accommodations and I reached out to open the front door, Kim Moohyuk extended his hand from behind me, pressing the keypad in my stead.

“I can do it myse—”

I couldn’t even finish the sentence. He flung the door open, grabbed my forearm, and pulled me inside. Then, without hesitation, he pressed me against the wall. Before I could react, he kissed me.

“Hey…!”

I called out urgently, but Kim Moohyuk simply tilted my chin upward, leaning in to lightly suck on my lips. I tried shifting my hips to free myself, but he showed no intention of letting go. His chest, as solid as the wall at my back, pressed against me, sending an inexplicable, unbearable tickle through me. It was as if the sensation was impossible to pinpoint or resolve—a kind of torment.

The absurd part was that Kim Moohyuk wasn’t aggressively taking advantage of the situation. The kiss wasn’t accompanied by guiding. It was just… a kiss. Realizing that made my face flush hotly. And it wasn’t just my face—every spot he touched seemed to burn.

Whether he noticed or not, he wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer. His thigh slipped between mine as the kiss deepened. I’d never experienced skinship without guiding before. This… this was something far more special than any of the countless instances of guiding I’d done during my military service.

“…”

A short breath escaped me. The moment I opened my mouth to speak, he slipped his tongue inside, scattering my attempt to say anything. I pressed my hand against his chest, trying to push him away, but it was futile. Kim Moohyuk held me firmly, leaving no room for escape.

“Wait, just… wait…”

Eventually, my half-plea managed to make him pull back. The motion-sensor light in the entranceway flickered off with a faint click. I couldn’t even count how many times this nonsense had played out in doorways like this.

“…Let’s at least go inside if you’re going to do this.”

“And what exactly are we doing?” Kim Moohyuk replied, his voice low and teasing.

I knew exactly what he was insinuating. Kissing. Or rather… guiding. It was supposed to be guiding. I couldn’t afford to confuse the two. But for some reason, I held my tongue, feeling that if I voiced it now, he’d laugh at me.

After making me take off my shoes, he herded me further inside, following closely behind. I paused in the hallway leading to the living room, watching him enter. Instinctively, I stepped back.

“Why are you backing away?”

Kim Moohyuk smirked, clearly amused.

Good question. Why was I backing away? But I wasn’t stupid enough to ask that out loud. The fact that I kept letting him get the upper hand was humiliating—especially since I was older. Summoning an air of bravado, I said, “I’m not backing away. I’m going to shower.”

“…What?”

He froze, staring at me like I’d just said something absurd, disbelief written across his face. His expression was so baffling that I scowled, half-annoyed, half-confused.

“Isn’t it normal to wash up after coming home? You’ve got to at least wash your hands after being outside. And we just came back from a hospital ward, of all places.”

Kim Moohyuk stared at me intensely before shaking his head with a wry smile.

“Of course.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. You first, Instructor.”

With that, he ushered me into the bathroom near the living room. Still puzzled by his reaction, I did as he said and began washing my hands. As the water ran and I lathered soap onto my hands, I realized how unusually quiet Kim Moohyuk was.

By the time I rinsed off the soap and turned off the faucet, I felt someone’s gaze. Looking up at the mirror, I saw Kim Moohyuk leaning casually against the doorway, arms crossed, watching me intently.

Caught off guard, I froze. Unsure of what to say, I shook the water off my hands and asked, “What are you staring at?”

“…”

The guy had no response. I asked again, but only then did I realize my voice was trembling from a strange tension. Still, I couldn’t help it. The dense silence between the two of us was harder to endure.

“…Why are you looking at me like that?”

At my repeated question, he uncrossed one arm that had been folded, rubbed his forehead, and walked straight into the bathroom. Then, he leaned against the sink, trapping me between him and it. Before I could even ask what he was doing, Kim Moohyuk lowered his head and pressed his cheek to mine. His breath tickled my earlobe. When I flinched my shoulders, he whispered as if telling me not to.

“Did you clean up?”

It was just a simple question, but the way it felt like something much more was the problem. I nodded silently. As his cheek slid away, the vivid sensation of his touch lingered. It made me wonder if he was so desperate for guiding that he couldn’t even wait to dry his hands before coming in here. Expanding the resonance in response, I heard him let out a short sigh. Burying his head in the crook of my neck, he wrapped an arm around my back. Then, Kim Moohyuk lifted me slightly, supporting me from under my thighs.

“Wh-What are you doing…?!”

He didn’t answer. Judging by the way his ESP waves rippled, he seemed to be in a good mood, though I had no idea why.

Kim Moohyuk carried me to the sofa and placed me on his lap, leaning in for a kiss immediately. The sensation from his lips tingled too much, and I tried to pull away, but it wasn’t easy. Kim Moohyuk didn’t seem inclined to let me go. His kisses were persistent.

“Ah, stop it. Stop…”

“Just five more minutes.”

What do you mean, “just five more minutes”? I tried to push him away, but it was futile. Kim Moohyuk swallowed my words with another kiss, continuing far beyond the five minutes he had promised. Eventually, I had to escape to the kitchen, desperate for a reason to leave.

“W-Water. I’m just getting some water…”

That pathetic muttering was the best excuse I could come up with. He tried to hold onto me as I got up, but I managed to press against his chest and break free. My face was burning, and the odd sensation of discomfort and tension in certain places made me want to cool off with cold water. But Kim Moohyuk didn’t let me off so easily. He followed me to the kitchen, snatched the cup from my hand, poured water, and drank it himself.

I stared blankly at his Adam’s apple as it bobbed. Even while finishing the glass, Kim Moohyuk kept his gaze fixed on me. Then, he pulled me close, pressing his still-damp lips against mine. I could feel the water transfer from his mouth to mine, sending chills down my spine. His fingers lightly traced my throat, as if urging me to swallow. When I did, he drew a smile with his lips, as if pleased.

“Let go.”

I tried to pull away, tilting my head back, but it wasn’t easy. The look in his eyes was so intense that it left me breathless. Something was falling from Kim Moohyuk’s gaze—something undefinable that felt like it would spell disaster if I tried to name it.

“I said, let go…!”

Kim Moohyuk grabbed my wrist and pulled me into his arms again, lifting me onto the island counter. This time, he trapped me between himself and the counter, lowering his head to kiss me indiscriminately all over my face.

…Was this normal? Was Kim Moohyuk in his right mind? I knew well how obsessive espers with a guiding fixation could act. The similarities between those behaviors and what Kim Moohyuk was doing unsettled me. But at the same time, the lack of force in his grip, the way he’d ease up if I pushed back, and his desperate but oddly tender actions softened my anxiety.

I wanted to ask why he looked at me like that, what he was thinking, but the words wouldn’t come out. At some point, I found myself wrapping my arms around his neck.

That night, the kisses didn’t stop. As the dawn deepened, I eventually gave up trying to escape his embrace.

Even though I knew all the unspoken words were piling up between us.

“So, Colonel Kim Dongjin… Hey, are you even listening to me?”

“Yes. You were saying something about guiding that Chinese guy.”

I sighed and put down my fork. Kim Moohyuk set his mug on the table, crossing his arms.

“Why do you keep bringing up Zhang Chao?”

“Is it weird to talk about an esper my guide has gotten close enough to call by name?”

He spoke nonchalantly, pushing a plate of salad toward me—a silent insistence that I eat my vegetables.

“…We’re not close,” I mumbled defensively, and his slightly relaxed gaze flicked toward me. Meeting his eyes, memories of the previous night flooded back.

All night, he seized every opportunity to kiss me until I finally threatened to retreat to my room. When I refused his request to stay in his room instead, he pulled me close, promising he wouldn’t do anything else. In the end, I ended up spending the night there. And when I woke up, there he was, casually preparing my breakfast as if nothing had happened.

I wanted to ask about what happened yesterday, if he really kissed me because we had to do contact guiding, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it as I got older and lost my courage. Anyway, while we were sitting at the same table, I mentioned that Zhang Chao had talked about Colonel Kim Dongjin, and suddenly his attitude changed.

Of course, he used to pretend not to be jealous whenever I seemed a bit too friendly with other espers, but maybe because of what happened yesterday, it didn’t seem like just jealousy over losing a friendly person, which made me embarrassed. The problem was that I was clueless in these matters and clumsy in dealing with them, which made my tone stiffen.

“Why do you keep acting like this? We’re talking about work now.”

I wanted to treat him well, putting aside my guilty conscience after realizing my feelings for him, but my face stiffened out of embarrassment. I could predict my expression turning stern, like a drill sergeant training new recruits. However, Kim Moohyuk just propped his elbows on the table and stared silently at my face.

“…Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I’m just wondering what’s on your mind, mentioning another guy after spending the night together and making me breakfast.”

I was startled by his words. I wanted to ask what he meant, but my tongue froze, and no words came out. How do people even date? At my age, feeling affection for someone and trying to act on it felt incredibly awkward and difficult. In the end, I just cleared my throat and changed the subject.

“Anyway, I thought it was important to know that Colonel Kim Dongjin is like my mentor. It’s also suspicious that the Chinese side informed us first.”

Kim Moohyuk nodded vaguely and added jam and butter to my bread. As I took a bite, I continued speaking.

“And I’m thinking of telling Kim Inhak that I’m Colonel Kang.”

“Do as you wish.”

He nodded indifferently. I expected him to ask why, but his compliant attitude seemed strange. Even though he read my expression, he showed no particular interest. Come to think of it, it had always been like this when working with him before the body change. Kim Moohyuk rarely opposed my plans unless they directly endangered me.

…No wonder I dared to look at someone twelve years younger. Even though I knew it wasn’t his fault, I kept projecting my feelings onto Kim Moohyuk, who knew nothing about them. The energy of a lifelong solo building up for over thirty years was truly insidious. It was something to sigh about.

Anyway, breakfast ended with Kim Moohyuk’s slightly sullen attitude and my awkward clumsiness. While I didn’t intend to hide my feelings for Kim Moohyuk, what had he done wrong to suddenly hear that his trusted instructor liked him?

Hiding my sigh, I got into his car and headed to Kim Inhak’s office. At the parking lot of the main building, I naturally stopped him from following me.

“Um, I’ll talk alone. You know Kim Inhak has a prickly personality and would feel left out if he found out everyone except him knew about this.”

“Why do you have so many close espers in the first place?”

…Well, I’m an adult who’s consistently had a career and social life, so of course, I could have close espers. But before I could say anything, he turned and walked away.

“Hey… No, Captain Kim! You have to come back for me later?!”

I didn’t want to take the cart! But he just left without a response. I was puzzled by his apparently twisted mood but couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason. Left alone in the hallway, I watched his departing figure before shaking my head and heading to the center director’s office.

Thinking it over, I realized I was just a sergeant, and he was a star-ranked director, so it seemed doubtful that he would agree to meet me just because I requested it. If all else failed, I thought I’d mention Kim Moohyuk’s name, but fortunately, Lieutenant Park, the director’s secretary, recognized me.

“Sergeant Kang Hajung?”

“Ah, yes. Hello, Lieutenant Park.”

“Are you here to see the director?”

I nodded, and he smiled as he guided me in. His unexpectedly friendly demeanor became clear when I saw Kim Inhak’s reaction.

“Well, well, look who it is! Sergeant Kang!”

Kim Inhak feigned exaggerated joy. Ignoring his antics, I got straight to the point.

“I have something to tell you.”

“Sure, go ahead and speak comfortably to the director.”

His kind smile made it seem like he was hiding something, but I couldn’t figure out what. Sighing, I decided it was best to just get it over with.

“I heard that you were close with Colonel Kang Hajung, who was Captain Kim Moohyuk’s instructor.”

“…Colonel Kang? Yes, indeed.”

Kim Inhak’s eyes widened in surprise at the unexpected topic. He looked at me with an expression that seemed to question why I was bringing up someone who had died before Sergeant Kang even enlisted. Feeling burdened by his gaze, I scratched my cheek and continued speaking.

“From now on, if you don’t believe what I’m about to say, you can verify it with Captain Han Byeongeun.”

That’s how I revealed to Kim Inhak that I was Kang Hajung. I quoted what Han Byeongeun had said and told him to look up related papers. Even then, he didn’t believe me, so I shared a secret only Kim Inhak and I knew.

“It was the spring of XX when Cadet Kim Inhak entered the Esper-Guide Academy as a freshman. During the cadet welcome ceremony, Kim Inhak was dressed up as a woman by his Sunbaes…”

“Stop―! Stop it!”

Kim Inhak, who had been looking at me with a pale face, shook his head in disbelief at first.

“That’s impossible! Colonel Kang didn’t look like you! You two look completely different! Colonel Kang’s nickname was ‘Kangkkokjeong’!”

Then he got angry.

“And you’re telling me this now!? Moohyuk and Byeongeun knew all along!?”

After that, he became depressed.

“Why are you telling me this now? You’ve been so heartless. Didn’t you see how sad I was for years?! You really have no heart, do you?!”

When I didn’t respond and just watched him, he finally accepted it.

“…Fine, let’s say you’re really my Sunbae. But how did all this happen? How is this even possible?!”

I cleared my throat at that. I was debating whether to talk about Ha Seonghan.

After all, considering the time Kim Inhak, Ha Seonghan, and I had spent together, I was unsure if it was better to reveal Ha Seonghan’s identity to Inhak. I chose my words carefully, thinking it might be better to inform him and seek his cooperation.

“…Ha Seonghan is involved with Accent.”

“What?! ―I figured as much. I know that too.”

But his reaction was unexpected. I looked at Kim Inhak with wide eyes. He clicked his tongue and continued.

“You have no idea how much we’ve been chasing Accent since you disappeared. Not just me, but also Kim Moohyuk… You can’t even imagine how much he suffered.”

“…”

Come to think of it, it was obvious that the center director, Kim Inhak, would know about chasing Accent. Why hadn’t I thought of that?

Kim Moohyuk seemed to have always known that Ha Seonghan was deeply involved with Accent. If he knew, it would have reached Kim Inhak’s ears. During my absence, Kim Inhak must have been the one to prevent the central department from restraining Kim Moohyuk’s rampage.

I lost my words and couldn’t help but ask.

“You knew that guy was capable of that?”

“…I didn’t not know.”

That meant he did. My head hurt. Kim Inhak added.

“Why do you think I believed so easily that you came back alive? It’s all because of Ha Seonghan.”

“…”

“Accent has been accelerating inhumane experiments for years. Of course, we couldn’t ignore it. Moohyuk was dispatched as an investigator.”

I nodded quietly. Kim Inhak sighed.

“Honestly… I couldn’t bring it up because you were so depressed after what happened to Ha Seonghan, but there were many suspicious parts. You know how ruthless Ha Seonghan was. But to die from just a stone?”

Kim Inhak was right. Like he said, I couldn’t believe that Ha Seonghan died from something so trivial, and I wandered in disbelief. That Ha Seonghan, who once caught an illegal fishing boat after submerging in the East Sea for 10 hours in just a wetsuit in the middle of winter, couldn’t have died so easily.

“I thought it was strange from the beginning, but it got even stranger when that happened to you. The central department’s movements were suspicious too.”

He was right. That day, I was detained by the central department for no reason. Kim Inhak looked at me intently and sighed.

“And Ha Seonghan… about you…”

He seemed hesitant to bring up something unclear.

“About what?”

“Never mind, let’s drop this topic… Anyway, now that you’re back, when are you two going to get imprinted?”

“Imprinted?”

I asked, narrowing my brows in confusion, and Kim Inhak snapped.

“Oh, so how long are you going to keep the strongest guy in our center, Moohyuk, single? He’s at the age to get married!”

…What kind of crazy talk is this? What does Kim Moohyuk being single have to do with me? Of course, I wouldn’t mind. But just because Kim Moohyuk is an esper and I’m the only guide that matches his level, it doesn’t mean we have to get imprinted.

Kim Inhak seemed to read my thoughts and spoke in frustration.

“Didn’t Kim Moohyuk tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“That he’s suffering from imprint ischemia aftereffects?”

I was dumbfounded and only then remembered his imprint ischemia syndrome. I hadn’t noticed because I had been guiding him closely all this time. Kim Inhak held his head and groaned.

“Oh my, what have you all been doing? So you didn’t know his condition all this time?”

His words made me anxious, and my face stiffened.

“…His ESP waves are stabilized, so I didn’t notice anything strange.”

“Of course, the waves are stabilized. The problem is that Kim Moohyuk’s organs are constantly being destroyed by the ESP waves. Thanks to his esper healing ability, he won’t die, but it’s not surprising if he coughs up blood every morning.”

I froze. I mumbled in a daze.

“Han Byeongeun didn’t say anything…”

“He’s in research now, so how would he know about the practical work in the medical ward? And you know that the medical information of an esper like Kim Moohyuk is top secret, right, Sunbae?”

Kim Inhak, now excited, started speaking informally. I was too stunned to point it out. How could I know if he was coughing up blood when he never showed any signs? I even felt a sense of betrayal. My eyes reddened with anger. Seeing me like that, Inhak sighed.

“…Of course, since he’s an esper, his condition won’t worsen. He can heal even if he’s in pain. The problem is the pain.”

Kim Inhak described Kim Moohyuk’s symptoms as the suffering of Prometheus tied to a cliff. He might be right. Like a god whose liver keeps regenerating, causing eternal pain, Kim Moohyuk couldn’t even collapse from the pain because of his self-healing body.

“…So if we get imprinted…”

I couldn’t continue, my throat choked with emotion. Kim Inhak nodded.

“Yes. If you get imprinted, the imprint ischemia syndrome will disappear. Please think positively, Sunbae. Every time I see him hiding his pain, it kills me.”

I couldn’t say anything and just stood up. Kim Inhak, realizing he had gone too far, stood up and apologized.

“I’m just so happy you’re back, and I thought Moohyuk’s pain would lessen, so I got carried away…”

“No, thank you for telling me.”

That was true. I was grateful he told me. If I hadn’t heard it from Kim Inhak, Kim Moohyuk would have hidden it until he collapsed in front of me. So it wasn’t a bad thing to find out this way. I patted Kim Inhak on the shoulder, telling him not to worry too much, and left the director’s office.

I was so shocked that I wanted to see Kim Moohyuk’s face and feel reassured. Today, I planned to tell Kim Inhak the truth, discuss Ha Seonghan, and talk about Colonel Kim Dongjin. But I couldn’t remember any of that.

I just wanted to see his face and feel reassured. With that thought, I quickly left the director’s office. As I walked down the hallway to the elevator, I saw someone standing at the end. I slowed down, eager to get there quickly.

“…Kim Moohyuk.”

He was leaning against the wall and smiled at me.

“You should address me as Captain.”

Seeing his smile, I couldn’t help but stare at him blankly. …Somewhere in my chest felt warm. How should I handle someone who has lived through such pain that others can’t endure for a day?

What I left for you wasn’t that valuable, so why did you cherish me so much? I quickened my pace and approached him.

“Did you tell him?”

He asked in a gentle tone. I didn’t nod or answer, just stared at him. Despite my persistent gaze, Moohyuk met my eyes without any sign of discomfort.

…I suddenly realized that Kim Moohyuk had never rejected anything I gave him or questioned anything I did. It didn’t quite fit to see it as just an esper’s obsession with a guide. What are you, really? I wanted to ask, but I was afraid that if I opened my mouth, all my questions would pour out and complicate our relationship. That fear was unfamiliar to me, making me feel very awkward.

Then I realized that I couldn’t confess my feelings to Kim Moohyuk in a hallway like this. Even if he didn’t feel the same way, considering the care he had shown me, it wouldn’t be right to confess empty-handed as his instructor and as someone older.

I decided to tell him my feelings and get imprinted even if he rejected me. After hearing what Kim Inhak said, I couldn’t just leave him as he was. With that resolve, the heavy feeling in my chest lightened a bit.

He would be surprised to hear my feelings, but he wouldn’t completely push me away. I was a cowardly adult, planning to make good use of Kim Moohyuk’s affection for me. Considering all that, confessing empty-handed felt too guilty for my conscience.

On the other hand, it was fortunate that he discovered my identity. Since my assets were tied to him, I could ask for them back. I had saved quite a bit of money, so it would be easy to choose a gift for him. He didn’t seem to have a car for driving around the suburbs, only a military jeep. Should I buy him a car? He probably didn’t buy one not because he couldn’t afford it, but because he didn’t have the time. I was thinking it would be nice to buy a car and go for drives together when he interrupted my thoughts.

“What are you thinking about for so long?”

Kim Moohyuk lightly scolded me. I snapped back to reality and shook my head.

“…Nothing.”

I answered in a choked voice, and he frowned slightly.

“…Were you crying?”

There was a hint of anger in his voice as he looked at me intently. I could see his jaw muscles bulging as he clenched his teeth, looking towards the director’s office. I quickly shook my head.

“It’s not that. Let’s go.”

“…What did you hear to make your face like that?”

“I told you, it’s nothing.”

I couldn’t tell him it was because of him, but fortunately, the elevator arrived just then. I quickly got in and gestured for him to follow. Kim Moohyuk, who had been standing outside with his hands in his pockets, clicked his tongue and got into the elevator.

As he got in and I tried to press the button for the first floor, he stopped my hand.

“We’re stopping by the lower floor first.”

“Why?”

Kim Moohyuk, who always spoke informally when we were alone, smiled and pulled me into his arms. I looked at him with a big question mark on my face.

“What are you doing?”

“Charging.”

“Don’t you remember getting scolded by the cart driver last time for asking for guiding in a public place?”

“I don’t.”

This guy was speaking informally again. I had to endure it since I liked him. Sighing, I hugged him and started guiding. He sighed contentedly and rested his forehead on my shoulder.

But when the elevator dinged and the doors opened, I reflexively pushed him away. I still wasn’t used to doing this in public. If I were still as big as before, it would have looked like a friendly hug between colleagues, but now it would only look like an affectionate gesture. Feeling embarrassed by that thought, I pushed him away, and Kim Moohyuk clicked his tongue in disapproval.

“I’ll do it at the dorm. Just wait a bit.”

I whispered softly, holding his hand and pulling him out of the elevator. Kim Moohyuk looked down at me and cleared his throat. His smug expression annoyed me.

“…Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Just. You seem to know how to handle me very well.”

He said, intertwining his fingers with mine. The touch of his soft skin made me shiver involuntarily. I looked around, not knowing where he was taking me. We had only gone a few floors down from the director’s office in the main building. The higher floors of the main building housed important departments, so I tried to read the signs in the hallway but couldn’t.

I was about to ask where we were going when Kim Moohyuk stopped in front of a door. I quickly checked the nameplate.

[0. MARS]

Mars? I had never heard of such a department in the main building, so I tilted my head in confusion.

Kim Moohyuk glanced down at me and opened the door without hesitation.

“Wait―.”

I was about to tell him to wait, but I froze as the door opened. The espers inside all turned to look at me simultaneously.

“…What is this…”

Kim Moohyuk gently pushed me inside. The seated espers stood up one by one and saluted me.

“Hello.”

Their sharp salutes seemed strange. They were wearing the center’s uniforms, but they looked like they were at least lieutenants.

I thought there was no reason for them to salute a sergeant like me. Then I realized they were saluting Kim Moohyuk, not me. I looked at him blankly. Sensing my gaze, Kim Moohyuk met my eyes and spoke.

“This is the unofficial esper team, Mars, Colonel.”

“What…?”

I could only respond stupidly. I didn’t understand why he was calling me Colonel in front of others. Confused, I looked around at the espers. Then I recognized a familiar face.

“Oh, you―!”

I remembered the face. That guy, isn’t he from Hallasan?! I thought I hadn’t seen his face before. I had tried to see his face through the bathroom door crack but failed. Since I hadn’t seen him, I had no memory of him. But now, seeing his face clearly, I knew he was the one who had sent me flying to Hallasan.

Because of him, I had to endure all sorts of suspicions from Kim Moohyuk. Even though I repeatedly told him I didn’t know anything, he didn’t believe me. The nightmare of that day was vividly coming back. Because of you, I almost had to hitchhike a plane from Jeju Airport!

I grabbed Kim Moohyuk’s arm and shook it vigorously, pointing at the guy.

“You, you―!”

“It’s nice to officially meet you, Colonel.”

The guy calmly responded, despite being pointed at. I felt a tingling sensation in the back of my neck. He smiled and introduced himself.

“Finder A-Class, Lieutenant Ko Seunghwan.”

…Finder? I frowned. If he was a Finder, then what was that teleportation I experienced…? It’s strictly forbidden to use Space Bombs in the military and at the Seokyeong Center, so it didn’t make sense. As I trembled with anger looking at Ko Seunghwan or Stop Seunghwan, Kim Moohyuk raised an eyebrow and smirked.

“I believe you are already acquainted with this one.”

It was the first time he used formal language with me in front of others, and I was confused. Reading the confusion on my face, Kim Moohyuk casually continued.

“Mars is an esper team formed to exclusively handle Accent. From here, Ko Seunghwan, Bang Gaeun, and Ham Jeongju, a Finder, a Shielder, and an Explosives Esper, respectively.”

The espers smiled and greeted me.

“We’ve heard a lot about you, Colonel.”

“You’re a living legend. Or rather, a legend who came back to life… Anyway.”

They all seemed to have great personalities, but I wasn’t in the mood to receive their greetings due to unresolved questions. Unsure whether to speak formally or informally, I decided to take a high-handed tone.

“I don’t understand what’s going on. And you, Lieutenant Ko, didn’t you send me flying to Hallasan recently?”

I spoke with a frown, but Ko Seunghwan just smiled. Exasperated, I frowned deeper, and Kim Moohyuk, with a hmph, looked at Ko Seunghwan and commanded.

“Stop flirting and explain properly.”

…It was a rather harsh order. But Ko Seunghwan, unfazed, continued to smile as he explained.

“The previous encounter was unexpected for me as well. For us Finders, there’s something called ‘Destiny’ as a condition of our ability.”

I finally relaxed my frown. I had heard of Destiny before. It’s an ability only A-Class and above Finders possess, triggered by a strong desire to find something. When a Finder uses their ability to find something, the more important the target is to the Finder, and the more ambiguous its definition, the harder it is to resist ‘Destiny.’

For example, if a Finder uses their ability to find a calendar, not a specific one but just any calendar, the ability will continuously scan the Finder’s surroundings. The Finder’s ESP unconsciously triggers Destiny to find the nearest calendar that the Finder needs. From that point, Destiny guides the Finder to the calendar, turning their steps towards a calendar shop during a walk.

Destiny leads the Finder to unfamiliar places. What Ko Seunghwan meant by Destiny was probably something like that. But how was that Destiny related to him sending me to Hallasan?

“I know about that. So what?”

“At the time, I had been using my ability for a long time to find what was most needed to counter Accent, whether it was an object or a person.”

Ko Seunghwan explained in a polite tone, contrary to my first impression.

“Destiny guided me. That’s why I ended up in the bathroom where you were trapped, Colonel.”

Ko Seunghwan’s explanation was simple. He used his ability to find something to counter Accent, and Destiny guided him to me. That part made sense. After all, I was the guide that Kim Moohyuk, who refused guiding, desperately needed.

“That doesn’t explain why I had to be sent to Hallasan, or why there was the smell of gunpowder from using a Space Bomb.”

I crossed my arms and questioned, and Ko Seunghwan smiled, his features delicate and fine, more like a beauty than a manly handsome like Kim Moohyuk. I had to frown constantly, afraid I’d be mesmerized if I let my guard down.

“That’s because I’m a dual-ability user. I have the ability to teleport, specifically to create Space Bombs.”

“…What?”

Space Bombs are usually inhumane items made by forcibly extracting the esper cores of rare teleportation ability users. But making them while alive?

“I can only make two Space Bombs a year, and I can’t use teleportation myself, only create Space Bombs. So, following Captain Kim’s advice, I didn’t report my ability to the military.”

“How did you hide having two ESP wave signatures?”

Ko Seunghwan immediately answered my curious question.

“I had overused my waves to create a Space Bomb just before, so the teleportation ability’s ESP wave was faint.”

That made sense. I nodded in understanding. Then I noticed the other espers looking at me with sparkling eyes. Bang Gaeun and Ham Jeongju, was it? They felt my gaze and quickly introduced themselves.

“Hello, Colonel. S-Class Shielder, Lieutenant Bang Gaeun.”

“A-Class Explosives Esper, Lieutenant Ham Jeongju.”

Lieutenant Bang was the smallest among the four espers. She seemed shorter than me, which was surprising. Despite being a female esper, she was expected to be at least 175cm tall. However, being an S-Class, her strength and power would be incomparable to an average man. Lieutenant Ham Jeongju was larger than Kim Moohyuk, nearly 2 meters tall. With a somewhat blunt expression and tanned skin, I cleared my throat and laughed.

“You look like I did before, Lieutenant Ham.”

I joked, and Kim Moohyuk suddenly frowned.

“Don’t say nonsense. There’s no comparison.”

Wow, why the sudden outburst? Well, Lieutenant Ham was indeed better looking than my old self. It wasn’t wrong, so I just nodded, and Kim Moohyuk looked at me with a thinly veiled frustration. Curious about his reaction, I turned to Kim Moohyuk and asked.

“So, have you told these people all about me?”

“There’s nothing to tell or not to tell. Accent has recently been heavily involved in body-swapping research using abilities. If you follow Accent’s trail even a little, your story will inevitably come up.”

That made sense. The factory laboratory of Hyung Sik was filled with reports and research materials about me. I suppressed a sigh and asked again.

“But this team is made up entirely of espers?”

Lieutenant Bang answered my question instead. She clasped her hands and rubbed them together, giving off an oddly sycophantic vibe. She had a neat appearance that could pass interviews or first meetings easily, but the way she smiled while rubbing her palms made her seem slightly unsettling.

“Yes, that’s correct. In fact, we kept requesting from the lieutenant for a guide. Please, get us a guide.”

At the mention of “please,” Lieutenant Bang glared at Kim Moohyuk before returning her gaze. Despite her glare, Kim Moohyuk remained nonchalant, as if he had completed his duties.

“As you can see, our team is made up entirely of espers, so we suffer from a severe lack of guiding. Even our lieutenant here is experiencing imprint ischemia symptoms, isn’t he?”

Lieutenant Bang suddenly adopted a sorrowful expression, like someone with a tragic backstory. It felt like watching a play, and I was bewildered. She seemed to have a lot more to say.

“Lieutenant Ko over there is also struggling to manage his Finder abilities properly due to a lack of guiding. Last time, he nearly woke up in a minefield because of that cursed Destiny.”

That made sense. Destiny wasn’t a particularly good ability for A-Class and above Finders. The stronger the power of Destiny, the more they acted unconsciously, finding themselves in a minefield or near enemy lines without realizing it. A well-matched guide needed to use guiding to control the Finder’s abilities.

Due to this drawback, Finders, even with high ability wave grades, often didn’t achieve S-Class overall. Lieutenant Ko was likely experiencing such inconveniences as well.

“So we kept requesting, but the lieutenant ignored us without saying to wait. But today, finally!”

Lieutenant Bang raised her arms to the sky with a thrilled expression, then looked at me with an oddly sparkling and burdensome gaze.

“Today is the historic day we get to meet you, Colonel.”

Lieutenant Bang’s flattery was relentless. Seeing her effort for the team, I figured she might be the deputy team leader. It was clear she struggled with the indifferent Kim Moohyuk, making her efforts seem even more commendable. However, becoming a pair guide and a team guide are entirely different issues. Even though I became Kim Moohyuk’s pair guide after leaving Team 12, the roles of a pair guide and a team guide are distinctly different.

The team guide’s role includes comprehensive guiding for all team members, which can make them neglect their pair esper, requiring the pair’s permission. Although Kim Moohyuk brought me here and introduced me, implying he considered recruiting me as the team guide, it’s still uncertain. Asking directly might touch on sensitive issues for espers. Lieutenant Bang seemed to understand my hesitation and stepped back appropriately.

“Of course! We’re not suggesting making history right now. Let’s go have a meal first!”

It was proper hospitality. I wondered if her previous job had been in pharmaceutical sales. Curious about Kim Moohyuk’s thoughts, I looked at him. Sensing my gaze, he came over and whispered.

“Why? Shall we go eat something different, just the two of us?”

I was bewildered by his suggestive tone, and suddenly he hugged me, making me push him away in surprise.

“Don’t hug me suddenly. You scared me.”

“Why be scared of just this? They all know.”

Know what, exactly? His bold move to kiss the side of my head was too much. Even though I tried to stop him, the other espers didn’t seem to mind at all. Lieutenant Bang opened the door quickly and respectfully gestured outside.

In the end, I had to leave the room clinging to Kim Moohyuk’s side. We left the main building and got into the jeep parked in front. I almost asked where we were going but stopped when I realized we were heading towards Ipse-dong, a commercial district.

Although Kim Moohyuk’s jeep was a five-seater, it seemed cramped for the large espers. Yet they folded their limbs and got into the back seats. The espers managed to fit, leaving enough room for Lieutenant Bang to comfortably sit. It was evident she was a well-respected superior.

Before getting into the car, Lieutenant Bang opened the passenger door for me and closed it after I got in. Her natural hospitality reminded me of a pharmaceutical sales rep, making me feel like a newly promoted officer receiving congratulatory wreaths.

The car headed straight to Ipse-dong. Seeing Kim Moohyuk drive silently made me think he had reserved a place in advance. Sure enough, the car stopped in front of a neat Korean set menu restaurant.

“…Isn’t this the place where Kim Inhak usually entertains the central department inspectors? It must be expensive.”

“Don’t worry, Colonel! Our lieutenant will cover the bill.”

Lieutenant Bang smiled reassuringly. Well, considering Kim Moohyuk’s salary, it should be fine. Still, it felt a bit awkward. Here I was, twelve years older, planning to confess my feelings, and now getting a free meal. It felt like I was losing face. How could I confess when I hadn’t done anything good for him? I had been gone for five years, returned without revealing my identity, and now I was planning to leave again. Who would accept such a confession? I wanted to pay for the meal, but my assets were still tied up with Kim Moohyuk, so it felt too embarrassing to ask for them now.

In the end, I had to settle for an awkward dinner. But the atmosphere wasn’t bad, thanks to Lieutenant Bang’s humor.

“Serial number 2X-98587, Lieutenant Bang Gaeun! I present you with a bomb shot made by an explosives esper, Colonel!”

She took all the credit, but it was actually Lieutenant Ham Jeongju who made the bomb shot. And what did an explosives esper have to do with bomb shots anyway? It was like asking a computer science major to move office computers. But Lieutenant Ham seemed skilled at making bomb shots, shaking beer bottles with a blank expression and pouring them into two glasses. It was quite a sight.

…Do they teach this at the academy these days? Just as I was about to be shocked, the bomb shot was presented to me. I couldn’t refuse a drink offered by a junior soldier, so I reached for the glass, but an arm appeared and took it away. I looked to the side in surprise to see Kim Moohyuk bringing the glass to his lips, looking down at me with a raised chin. Then he drank the entire bomb shot. I could only watch his throat move up and down, and then he said,

“Colonel can’t handle alcohol. Give him cola.”

“Hey, I can handle one drink.”

I couldn’t, but I insisted anyway. Kim Moohyuk smirked at me. Knowing I couldn’t lie convincingly, I just let it go.

Anyway, the food was delicious, and I enjoyed everything that came out. Kim Moohyuk even deboned the steamed skate and placed it on my plate.

“So, the lieutenant’s days of solitude are over.”

Ko Seunghwan said with a sly smile. Solitude? It was a bit awkward, but it was a common term used to tease espers without guides. I was about to let it go when he continued.

“You’ve been celibate all this time. You’ve faced death at least twenty times.”

I reflexively looked at him. There was a loud smack. Lieutenant Bang had hit Ko Seunghwan on the back of the head. Despite the loud sound, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Our gazes met in the air.

Facing death… It must have been worse than I imagined. But Kim Moohyuk had never mentioned how he had lived during that time. It hurt because I understood why he hid it from me. Without a word, I brought the cola to my lips and looked away from him. My cheek burned, but I didn’t look back. Instead, I smiled and said,

“Still, I’m glad you were there for him.”

I had to take another sip to finish my sentence. I could feel Lieutenant Bang looking at me, unsure of what to do, but I just picked at the skate Kim Moohyuk had prepared for me. However, I soon put down my chopsticks.

“I need to use the restroom for a moment…”

“Instructor―.”

He called out to me as if he wanted to say something, but I just stood up. I slid open the door and headed towards the entrance. A passing employee greeted me, and I smiled back before stepping outside. My mind was a mess. Not because I didn’t know Kim Moohyuk had suffered, but because I feared it might happen again.

If I confessed and, by some miracle, Kim Moohyuk felt the same and we got imprinted, I would be incredibly happy. But what if it happened again? What if one of us had to leave like this again? I would survive, drifting like a buoy in the waves, enduring each day like a predetermined punishment.

But Kim Moohyuk would be the one to sail out into the sea, knowing he might be shipwrecked and drowned. How could I let that happen? There wouldn’t be a second chance to come back from the grave. So it felt different this time. Knowing Kim Moohyuk had crossed the line of life and death waiting for me hit differently. I stood at the entrance, lost in thought, when I heard a voice.

“Kang Hajung.”

The voice was low and slightly off, like a child trying to pronounce my name. I didn’t realize it was calling me until it called again, and I turned around with wide eyes.

“Zhang Chao?”

It was Zhang Chao and the Chinese military commander I had seen before, standing at the entrance. Zhang Chao said something to the commander and approached me with a stern expression.

“They said this place was good, and here you are, Kang Hajung.”