The World of Contrasts Vol. 4 Chapter 6

Two weeks had passed since he was confined in the house guarded by a mad dog. The doctor said it would take at least four weeks to remove the cast from his broken wrist.

Jaemin stared at the familiar ceiling where the ceiling fan was spinning, lost in thought. Since he had no intention of having sex with Seol Daeyoung in this place anyway, most of his waking hours were spent thinking.

Whether it was fortunate or unfortunate, Jaemin had now completely moved past the thought of wanting to die. He realized that Seol Daeyoung, as he knew him, was merely the tip of the iceberg.

He had known him, half by choice and half by force, for over ten years. Perhaps Jaemin had harbored a great illusion about Seol Daeyoung all this time. Even if Seol Daeyoung was crazy, Jaemin thought there was some humanity in him. This wasn’t just because he was deeply in love with him.

Seol Daeyoung genuinely cared for his frail omega mother, suppressed his instincts to save a freshman from being raped, beating down his own kind, and objectively, he was someone who had spent his prime years in prison because of Jaemin.

Thus, Jaemin thought that if he sincerely asked, Daeyoung would let him go. He believed that if he said being with him was making him unhappy, Daeyoung would not be able to bear it.

“Fuck…”

Jaemin realized only too late that he had made a critical mistake. The Seol Daeyoung he knew had stopped at twenty-three. He had forgotten that just as he had lived a different life for over five years without his memory, Daeyoung must have changed during that time as well.

No, in fact, if you think about it, the signs were there from childhood. It was a contradiction and deception for a dominant alpha to talk about omega rights.

He didn’t think the Seol Daeyoung from back then was insincere. He just deceived himself as well. That he was fundamentally different from the other, stupid, pathetic beings.

And yet, that was the very epitome of a dominant alpha’s inflated ego.

The series of events Seol Daeyoung committed to make Jaemin his omega played like a slideshow in Jaemin’s mind. In the bedroom, in the car, even in his personal space where he never let anyone in, Seol Daeyoung had forced his way in with pheromones, subduing him like a dog. The memory made Jaemin’s breathing grow hot.

Seol Daeyoung, whose manifestation came much later than others, must have formed his personality like a tree adding rings each year. And Jaemin, in essence, had borne witness to his growth into a complete being.

Sometimes, even providing him with sweet nourishment.

“Ha…”

Prison must have been a fine forge for him. Jaemin would bet all his wealth that Seol Daeyoung had everyone in there under his control.

Being restricted in movement wouldn’t have been an issue for him. No, it might have been a good opportunity to test the limits of his capabilities.

Jaemin revisited the events after he reunited with him in Tokyo. He remembered how the dominant alpha, who had shed his immature appearance, patiently wrapped him in invisible ropes.

When Seol Daeyoung first learned that Jaemin had lost his memory, he must have been shocked. Even for someone who always wore a mask of composure, he must have felt like he’d been hit from behind that time.

But Seol Daeyoung turned even crises into opportunities. After their reunion, Jaemin never felt that Daeyoung was desperately clinging to him. He just found himself, without realizing it, stepping closer to him.

Seol Daeyoung declared he was happy watching Jaemin laugh like an idiot, unaware of anything. He gave up being human, embraced being a ‘dog bastard’, and put permanent shackles on him.

With just one word, “I love you.”

That damn sociopathic deceiver.

Jaemin exhaled his rough breath deeply. Watching Seol Daeyoung’s shameless behavior, the urge to kill replaced the urge to commit suicide.

Marking, psychiatric hospital, pregnancy, marriage registration. Looking back, none of it happened according to Jaemin’s will. It all meant that Seol Daeyoung had scripted and planned everything.

If Jaemin ever confronted him about how he could do such things, Daeyoung would answer shamelessly. That it was the best choice. That Jaemin should understand.

Because of the marking, he could avoid begging in front of the subordinates who had aroused him. Since it was impossible to treat him where Jang Wonjung remained, he had to be hidden in a foreign psychiatric hospital not far away.

He hadn’t even considered the possibility of pregnancy in that horrific situation, which at least spared him the tragedy of bearing the child of one of those rapists.

He didn’t know why marriage registration was necessary when already marked, but since Daeyoung couldn’t be satisfied unless things went his way, it wasn’t strange that he had bound him legally as well.

“…”

Jaemin took a long, deep breath to calm his rough breathing.

After the day Jaemin overturned the bone broth while Seol Daeyoung fed him, Daeyoung started leaving food in the room and leaving, showing his effort. He must have realized that Jaemin would have no appetite with him around.

Soon, it would be time for Daeyoung to appear again. Despite the cicadas’ screams and the scorching midday sun outside, this place was always kept at a constant temperature and humidity.

Staying in this room for too long would surely drive him crazy again, but right now, Jaemin needed time to recover. He was starting to see a way to escape from Seol Daeyoung forming in his mind.

If Jaemin gained anything during the time he lost his memory, it would probably be a tiny bit of patience. He reminded himself once again that to deal with a formidable opponent like Seol Daeyoung, he must not act rashly.

To seize his leash, he had to become him. The only correct answer was to think about what Seol Daeyoung would do in this situation.

Imagining his psychology was far more… shitty than Jaemin had thought.

Click.

As expected, the door opened, and a bland meal, seemingly prepared in some hospital, was placed on the bedside table. Daeyoung no longer handcuffed him to keep him confined. He knew, as Jaemin did, that escaping was impossible.

“How about moving your body a bit?”

Jaemin looked up at Daeyoung with only his eyes and replied.

“I’m too depressed to lift a finger.”

“If you were really depressed, you wouldn’t shower three times a day.”

“Actually, I do a lot of one-handed push-ups in the bathroom.”

Daeyoung’s brow furrowed slightly. He seemed to be gauging whether Jaemin’s words were true or not, irritated by his incessant annoying talk.

“Why, aren’t you checking the bathroom camera?”

While wrapping his bandaged wrist with plastic to keep the water out, Jaemin was acutely aware of Seol Daeyoung’s gaze every time he washed his body, feeling like bugs were crawling on him, so he tried to be mindful of the angles.

“Whether I can control myself seeing you naked, even I’m afraid of that.”

Seol Daeyoung looked at him straight. Jaemin bit the inside of his cheek while staring back at him. Was this a moment of sincerity, or was it a test?

The brief contemplation led to one conclusion. Whatever his intention, what Seol Daeyoung wanted most right now was for Jaemin to take the bait and strip in front of him.

“…”

Now Jaemin vaguely understood how Seol Daeyoung’s thought process flowed.

If he stripped to provoke him, it would be like walking straight into Seol Daeyoung’s gaping, dark maw. In the end, the situation would conclude with him writhing under Daeyoung, feeling self-loathing.

Jaemin planned to drive Daeyoung mad with temptation, but he shouldn’t act recklessly. It was hard to admit, but Jaemin knew his patience was far below that of the man in front of him.

“Thanks. For being polite.”

When Jaemin answered with a sneer, Seol Daeyoung’s eyes narrowed slightly. It was an unexpected response. If he behaved too submissively, Daeyoung would surely suspect him. Before Daeyoung could try anything else, Jaemin lifted his eyes and added:

“Now that you’re done talking, can you fuck off? Your face is making me lose my appetite.”

At the sharp retort, Daeyoung let out a short sigh. His upper body swelled significantly under his tightly stretched shirt.

“I’ve left you alone because I thought it would be like this, but it can’t go on anymore.”

“Fuck off.”

“How much longer do I have to endure you vomiting everything you eat?”

Jaemin’s eyes flashed silently at Daeyoung’s words. He knew it would come to this. The bastard. He had obviously seen what Jaemin was doing in the bathroom but pretended not to know, setting a trap for him nonchalantly, expecting him to perform a strip show in front of him.

“Get your face out of here, it makes me want to puke.”

When Jaemin spoke coldly, Daeyoung seemed to lick his lips briefly before pulling out his phone.

“Come in.”

Jaemin frowned as Daeyoung ended the brief call that was like an order. Then, someone knocked on his door.

Knock. Knock, knock.

“…”

Jaemin’s lips parted, and he involuntarily let out a short breath. How many times had he heard this knock since childhood? He could instinctively tell even before the door opened. Who Daeyoung had called for.

“…Director.”

The moment Seonho’s face came into view, Jaemin felt his eyes grow hot. The memory of seeing him in Tokyo followed suit. When he refused the suppressants Seonho kindly offered in the elevator heading to Seol Daeyoung’s lair, the look of pity in Seonho’s eyes now felt just as poignant.

He managed to resist rushing towards Seonho by pushing aside the blanket only because Seol Daeyoung was there, arms crossed and leaning against the wall, watching them intently.

Jaemin gripped the sheet tightly, his eyes wide. Meeting Seonho was part of his plan, but not like this. Wasn’t it clear as day what Seol Daeyoung’s dark intentions were in bringing him here to scrutinize him?

Seol Daeyoung was trying to find his weaknesses by any means.

“What the fuck…”

Believing Seonho would understand his feelings, Jaemin twisted his lips and spat out:

“Once the owner who fed you is gone, you stick to another dog bastard. His face makes me want to puke too.”

Since Seonho had watched over his entire youth after his manifestation, which he didn’t want to remember, Jaemin thought Seonho must understand his current feelings. And Seonho shattered his hopes by bowing his head to Jaemin.

“I’m sorry… Director.”

No. That’s not it.

Jaemin bit his lips painfully while looking at Seonho, whose neck was reddened, but his inner voice didn’t reach Seonho.

“I’m really… sorry.”

As sorrow spread in Seonho’s voice, Jaemin grew anxious. Seonho was being too honest in front of Seol Daeyoung. Unable to understand the guilt filling Seonho’s kind eyes, Jaemin wanted to shout at him.

I would have done the same if I were you. After Jaemin disappeared from the psychiatric hospital, Seol Daeyoung must have interrogated and beaten the person who handled the admission process; Seonho had no other choice. And Jang Jaemin would not have blamed Seonho for bowing to Seol Daeyoung. Don’t you know my character?

“I’m annoyed, get out.”

When Jaemin dryly spat out these words, feeling a strong urge for a cigarette, Seol Daeyoung spoke in his usual calm voice.

“From now on, Seonho will help you recover.”

Jaemin looked at him silently, but he couldn’t stop the unspoken question in his eyes, ‘What the fuck is this bastard saying?’ Daeyoung glanced at the cooling meal on the table and continued:

“If you leave food, you die. Jaemin.”

“You’re playing games.”

The moment Jaemin sneered, his eyebrows drooping, Daeyoung responded:

“Not you, Seonho.”

Bang! Seonho’s neck was instantly caught in a chokehold and he was slammed against the wall. Jaemin, who was never small, saw Seonho, much larger than him, being humiliatedly choked by someone even larger, and he kicked off the covers, jumping to his feet.

“…You fucking bastard.”

“Since I’m playing with you, I must look like I’m playing to you.”

Daeyoung’s eyes gleamed like they were filled with black ink.

“Kill that bastard, Seonho.”

Jaemin’s voice trembled. But Seonho just looked at him with a pained expression on his blood-reddened face, making no move.

“Why aren’t you doing anything! Throw him off!”

Jaemin knew well that Seonho was no match for Daeyoung. But the Seonho he knew was a man with his own sense of ‘justice.’ If he were the type to avoid a fight he knew he would lose, he wouldn’t have won medals.

However, Seonho did not resist. Like a practicing monk, he endured Seol Daeyoung’s violence. The sound of someone struggling for breath came from him.

“Eat, Jang Jaemin.”

Veins bulged on Daeyoung’s hand, and his forearm muscles stood out, indicating he wasn’t just putting on a show. Jaemin had experienced this situation once before.

It was when he beat up the young alphas in the back of the gym who were high on omega pheromones.

The only difference now was that if Seol Daeyoung’s motive then was pure chivalry, now it was to subdue his omega.

Jaemin suppressed the urge to throw the round table and sat down. With his trembling hands, he shoved food into his mouth, tasting nothing. Daeyoung, watching him, finally loosened his grip on Seonho’s neck.

“Cough…”

Jaemin tried hard not to look at Seonho, who was coughing quietly, and struggled to keep his expression in check. It was clear he shouldn’t show any agitation in front of Seol Daeyoung, who was baring his teeth like a predator sensing prey. Seol Daeyoung would surely exploit any sign of weakness.

“This is neither fun nor moving. Fuck…”

Jaemin mocked Daeyoung with a fork shaped like a cute little spoon, which was utterly incapable of stabbing anyone.

“If your wish is to see me gorging like a pig, then I’ll do it, so stop with these pointless antics.”

“Why, don’t you like Seonho serving you? It’s what he always did. Licking between your toes, Jang Jaemin.”

Seeing through Daeyoung’s intent to provoke him while insulting Seonho, Jaemin raised his eyebrows sarcastically.

“Wasn’t that what you did to me?”

“…”

Their cold and heated gazes clashed intensely in the air. Daeyoung licked his lower lip once and, instead of getting angry or agitated, he gave a short laugh.

“Well, it’s still possible now. If no one refuses.”

Bastard.

“You might not know, but I have a weak stomach. Just being in the same room with someone who betrayed me gives me the creeps.”

Though it seemed like he was talking about Seonho, he was actually speaking to Daeyoung. Jaemin thought there was no way Daeyoung didn’t understand this, and Seonho, who was breathing irregularly, would never know this fact. That was the difference between them.

“Tsk…”

Daeyoung clicked his tongue.

“Looks like there’s no chance for redemption, Seonho.”

Unfortunately, there was not a hint of pity on Daeyoung’s face when he added this. Jaemin felt an urge to rip apart Daeyoung’s sneering long lips.

“Jaemin… I’m really… really sorry.”

Seonho was now on his knees, almost begging with a tearful voice towards Jaemin.

No… there’s no need for that!

Jaemin frowned while making eye contact with Seonho, but it was futile. Seonho’s gaze was filled only with intense guilt. Was this his way of paying back for having to clean up after Jaemin, who had been hiding in another country? Unfortunately, Seonho was not the type for such retribution.

“Get out.”

Jaemin didn’t want to see Seonho begging in front of Daeyoung anymore. He had no intention of playing along with the atmosphere that Seol Daeyoung was manipulating by using Seonho. As he swallowed tasteless food and spat out briefly, Daeyoung spoke in a low voice:

“Seonho should explain exactly what he did wrong.”

At that moment, Seonho took a sharp breath. Jaemin noticed his face turning ashen, different from before.

“Jaemin is confused.”

What is this shit?

Jaemin furrowed his sharp brows. There seemed to be something between Seonho and Seol Daeyoung that he wasn’t aware of, and not knowing what it was made him feel uncomfortable.

“Seonho killed him.”

“…Who killed who, you fuck?”

The idea of Seonho killing someone was laughable even to a passing stray dog. Seonho was the one who, even when Jaemin was going around with a knife handling others, sincerely suggested not to commit murder. Jaemin, showing his disinterest in his bullshit, stirred the tasteless food again.

“Your birth mother, Seol Junkyeong.”

“…”

“On Jang Wonjung’s orders.”

Jaemin’s hand, holding the spoon, trembled slightly in the air. A pain surged as if someone had punched him hard on the left side of his chest. Then his heart began to pound, making him feel nauseous.

“How about it. Does this not fit with the Seonho you knew?”

Click. Seol Daeyoung lit his cigarette. His voice, recounting how Seol Junkyeong died engulfed in flames, one of the cruelest ways to kill someone, resonated in Jaemin’s mind, buzzing.

…So that’s how that omega died after all.

He realized too late that the drop hitting the table was a tear. It must have been because the smoke from the bastard smoking in front of a patient irritated his eyes.

Clearly, Jaemin had no interest in her death. She was diagnosed with cancer in his last memory of her, so her chances of survival were fifty-fifty anyway.

Moreover, there was definitely a flaw in Daeyoung’s words. Jaemin had never once considered Seol Junkyeong, that weak and pitiful omega, as his parent.

“Ha…”

Jaemin picked up his water glass to calm his heavy stomach. After gripping the glass, beaded with condensation, and drinking it all down, he placed it back on the table without any tremor in his hand.

“You did well, Seonho.”

Seonho, with his hands on the floor, lifted his head. It seemed like all his words were conveyed through his eyes. Director, I’m sorry. Jaemin, I’m truly sorry.

After all, every emotion was clearly written on his face. That’s why Seonho could never be a thug.

“You really… did well.”

Jaemin twisted his lips while looking at Seonho with reddened eyes. Although Seonho couldn’t read all his signals, this time he couldn’t miss it. He had seen Jang Jaemin like this many times before.

A long sigh escaped from Jaemin’s slightly parted red lips, accompanied by a husky, mocking voice.

“All those shitty omegas who go around deceiving should die.”

Jang Jaemin was in a position where he couldn’t show anger or sadness in this situation. Throughout his days of living by denying his omega nature, Seonho had always been by his side. He had witnessed countless times when Jaemin had to attack others to survive.

“Then wouldn’t the world be a bit cleaner?”

Finally, Daeyoung took a deep breath, leaning against the wall. The face of the alpha who had pushed him into a car and forced sex on him for insulting his mother showed no emotion, but you could vividly feel how pissed off he was. Jaemin’s heart thumped, thump, thump.

“…Thank you, Director.”

In Seonho’s eyes, which were biting his lips painfully, relief and sorrow spread simultaneously. It seemed like he finally realized that the crazy, loose-screwed fool was gone, and the Jang Jaemin he knew had returned.

“But the fact that you were with Jang Wonjung is something I can’t accept.”

Relief was short-lived; Seonho, bewildered, couldn’t say anything, but it was better that way. He was hopeless at deceiving others. Jaemin raised his eyes and spat out through his teeth.

“Why aren’t you leaving?”

“…”

“Get out, you make me sick, you bat-like bastard!”

What happened next wasn’t too difficult. Daeyoung exhaled a long stream of cigarette smoke as he watched Jaemin throw a tantrum by overturning his tray. Then, grabbing Seonho by the nape of his neck, he began to drag him out of the room.

Even as he left the room, Seonho kept looking back at Jaemin. In an angle where the camera couldn’t see, Jaemin moved his lips.

I’ll contact you. Wait.

✽ ✽ ✽

Daeyoung leaned back on the living room sofa, smoking slowly. This was the space where Jaemin, who had lost his memory, often spent his time. He had said he liked the view from here. Even though he saw the sky every day, it never looked the same twice. He found that very fascinating.

What did he answer back then?

It’s seductive.

That must have been it. Changing forms while the essence remains the same is like a demon, isn’t it?

Just like Jang Jaemin, now separated by just one wall.

The lighter opened again with a clear metallic sound. Daeyoung smoked one cigarette after another, staring through the large window as Jaemin used to, pondering what was going through Jang Jaemin’s mind at that moment.

People who first saw Jang Jaemin often made the mistake of being dazed by his seductive appearance, not guessing the complexity beneath. In fact, Jaemin’s mind was as intricate as his face, far from simple.

“…”

The cigarette in Daeyoung’s hand burned down quickly. When Jang Jaemin regained his memory and went on a rampage with a knife, his actions were not far from what Daeyoung had anticipated. But after that, things were slightly different.

Daeyoung deliberately gave Jang Jaemin a bit more freedom. He took off the handcuffs after a week, and he reduced the number of times he went to see him in his room. That meant Jaemin could walk out of the bedroom if he wanted to.

But Jang Jaemin, like a beast in hibernation with eyes open, did not leave the room.

He remembered when Jaemin’s threats of killing him turned into requests, and then into pleas. ‘Please’ from Jang Jaemin’s mouth. Fuck. Daeyoung licked his lower lip, feeling his mouth dry.

If it were a moment of being overwhelmed by pheromones, he might have believed it, but Jaemin was completely in his right mind. The urge to grab his hair and thrust into him from behind until he said ‘please’ hundreds of times was barely suppressed because of the faint blue light he occasionally saw in Jaemin’s eyes.

Just as the sky showing different faces doesn’t change its essence, Jang Jaemin was Jang Jaemin. From that moment, Daeyoung knew he had to watch him even more closely.

It was a scenario he had thought about tens of thousands of times in prison. Jang Jaemin was beautiful, and like most beautiful things, he had an unbearably weak spot. Showing his moment of breaking might have been what drove Jang Jaemin mad.

Feeling a dull sensation in his finger joints, Daeyoung looked down and slowly extinguished his cigarette. His knuckles were bright red from where the cigarette had burned down to the filter. Daeyoung peeled off a piece of skin with his nail, lost in thought.

When Jang Jaemin said he was unhappy being with him, he was probably sincere. Daeyoung wanted to tell him that all love comes with pain, but it was clear Jaemin wouldn’t hear it.

Bringing Seonho in front of him was not only because he couldn’t bear to see Jang Jaemin vomiting anymore but also had another purpose. He wanted to check for the spark in Jang Jaemin’s eyes, whether by intention or necessity, as he seemed to be losing his vigor.

During the seven years he lost his memory, Jang Jaemin seemed to have thoroughly learned how to kill himself. Even in situations where he would never lose his edge, Daeyoung had to revise his plans as he watched Jaemin step back with a smirk.

Daeyoung twisted his lips at the sudden déjà vu. This felt like the moment he couldn’t take his eyes off an omega in class when he was eighteen.

He had long since admitted that he fell for Jang Jaemin at first sight. It’s a clichéd expression, but that’s how it was. First love. First kiss. First emotion. First jealousy. Jang Jaemin took all his firsts.

Junkyung had said he was always a bit dull from childhood. Once, when he was young, he held her hand to watch a children’s musical. While all the other kids cried when the monster appeared, he just blinked quietly and stared, she said.

Daeyoung remembered clearly why he did that. Before the musical started, he had gone to the bathroom alone and saw the actor playing the monster, stripped of his costume, crying in the last stall.

In contrast, a fat middle-aged man who zipped up his pants with a refreshed look coming out of the same stall seemed to be a charity worker who showed free musicals to children from underprivileged families.

As a child, Daeyoung didn’t sympathize with the actor playing the monster. He simply thought the person didn’t fit the role he was playing. It was only natural that he couldn’t focus on the show.

Of course, Daeyoung didn’t tell Junkyung the truth about what he had seen. He knew that would make her face look even more worried. Her expression of ‘dullness’ was closer to ‘placidness,’ and Daeyoung didn’t want that to turn into ‘weirdness.’

Because for Junkyung, who was raising a child as a single mother, anything different could signify danger to her son’s normality.

However, Junkyung’s fragmentary judgments about her son weren’t entirely wrong. Daeyoung’s physical development had surpassed his peers early on, but his awareness of emotions was late compared to others.

He was often classified as a gentle, easy-to-handle, non-crying child, but to some, he was described as unsettling, unreadable, and cold.

When Junkyung heard this from another child’s mother, she turned red and shouted, asking how could she say such things about her good son.

“…”

Lost in thought, Daeyoung belatedly noticed his phone ringing on the table and picked it up.

“Yes.”

―It’s me.

“I know.”

―How’s Jaemin?

As a conversational partner, Shin Joohee was certainly easier than Junkyung. With her directness, Daeyoung answered succinctly.

“He’s recovering.”

―Ah. Okay…

Joohee extended the end of her words, urging him to reveal more information, but Daeyoung didn’t feel the need to say more. Shin Joohee was no longer involved with Jang Jaemin.

“Is that all?”

―Can I come over to your place?

“Why?”

Daeyoung asked genuinely curious. After a brief silence, Joohee cleared her throat shortly before speaking.

―Hmm… There are some work-related things we need to discuss.

If there was anything for them to talk about, it was only one thing: the recently deceased Jang Wonjung.

Daeyoung thought for a moment whether what Joohee really wanted was a conversation or something else, considering that she had tried to commit suicide in front of Jaemin as an apology (Daeyoung had concluded her actions were not just a show). He also considered what impact her appearance would have on Jaemin now.

“No.”

The answer came quickly without much deliberation. Unlike Seonho, Joohee was someone he had to think about. If Jang Jaemin’s feelings for Seonho, who had taken care of him since childhood, were close to unconditional, Shin Joohee, being a dominant alpha by birth, was inherently in opposition to Jaemin.

It was absurd to think that she, who had contributed significantly to creating Jaemin’s alpha trauma by fully exploiting her power as his biological mother, would now be worried about Jaemin.

“If it’s about work, let’s do it over the phone.”

With a cold tone, Daeyoung heard Joohee sigh softly.

“Is there anything I should be concerned about?”

Daeyoung asked her while slowly tapping his index finger on the arm of the sofa. That was the one thing he wanted to know. Whether the aftermath of Jang Wonjung’s death was properly dealt with or not, and whether he needed to handle the annoying task of leaving Jaemin at home.

―No. There’s nothing. I just thought you might be curious, so I called first.

Finally, a response came from Joohee. She didn’t seem to be lying. Realizing there was no reason for her to lie, Daeyoung gave a brief farewell.

“Good work.”

Just as Joohee was about to hang up, Daeyoung spoke without thinking.

“There’s one thing I’m curious about.”

―…What is it?

“What was Jaemin like when he was young?”

When he asked in a low voice, Joohee fell silent for a moment before asking back.

―When?

“Before the manifestation, when he was very young.”

He heard Joohee lighting a cigarette through the phone. Daeyoung waited quietly for her answer.

―His smiling face was angelic, lovely… and he was good.

Joohee answered with a bitter voice after exhaling a long stream of smoke.

―To the point where I was afraid I might come to love that child.

“Did you succeed?”

Daeyoung clarified his question to the silent Joohee.

“Did you succeed in not loving him?”

―…

Only the sound of faint breathing came from the phone instead of an answer. As Daeyoung was about to end the call, feeling irritation rise, Joohee’s words grabbed his attention.

―Do you know what the tragedy of dominant alphas like you and me is?

Daeyoung listened in silence, not out of expectation for her subject but out of curiosity about what profound statement might come from Shin Joohee, who had never spoken uselessly before.

―It’s that we can’t love others more than ourselves.

With Joohee’s troubled voice, the call ended. Daeyoung put his phone down on the table with a thud and pressed his temples. His eyes, shadowed, stared fixedly at one spot.

Boring.

There was no expression on Daeyoung’s face as he reflected on Joohee’s last words. She was no different in not being able to see herself objectively. Was this because she raised Jang Jaemin like that?

If Joohee found the child of the man she hated to be angelically lovable, her struggle wasn’t hard to understand. But isn’t love supposed to come with pain? Everyone clearly didn’t understand this obvious fact. If they decided not to love out of fear, then why live? They would die anyway.

In Daeyoung’s mind, which was splitting into dichotomous thoughts again, he seemed to hear Junkyung’s laughter mixed in.

“The world isn’t that simple, Daeyoung. You’re not like me; you’re smart but don’t know that.”

As Junkyung had said herself, she wasn’t very smart, but she was one of the few people Daeyoung cared about. Watching an omega, whose only asset was a body trampled by alphas, sacrifice her life for her only son was not a pleasant sight, so Daeyoung decided to love her.

The word “decided” might sound awkward, but for Daeyoung, it was literal. His mind moved first, literally. The title of being a filial son protecting his frail omega mother was the best answer to satisfy her, and because he decided to love her, he acted accordingly.

But Jang Jaemin was different. The moment he entered the classroom and saw him sitting in the back seat, his body moved before he could even think.

He wanted Jaemin to look at him. He couldn’t believe that no one in the shared space would think of tearing his clothes apart. So, he thought of him as his own.

Because I discovered you first.

Jang Jaemin shattered his self-consciousness, which thought he was completely different from those who acted like stallions in heat, enslaved by pheromones, with just one look from those black and white eyes, sitting cross-legged and glancing at him sideways.

The moment their eyes met was a fresh shock to Daeyoung. In retrospect, that was the first time Daeyoung felt his heart flutter. It was the first time his body betrayed his reason and moved.

Was it misfortune for you? That I fell in love with you.

“…”

At times like this, his mind becomes clear again. Unfortunately, Jaemin is under a misconception. Jang Jaemin loves him much more than he thinks, but due to his strong sense of self, he can’t properly recognize it.

What was pride again? What was my essence? All the certainties that Seol Daeyoung, who had lived with conviction every moment, held were meaningless in front of the existence of Jang Jaemin. And the omega he loves doesn’t realize that fact.

That’s because that’s Jang Jaemin’s essence, which he wouldn’t change even if he died. It’s also the reason why I love him so much.

Like a squirrel on a wheel, the same thoughts keep spinning in his head. It wouldn’t be hard to overwhelm Jaemin with pheromones right now, making him beg to be taken. At twenty-three, every time he met Jaemin’s eyes, that’s how it was when he first tasted his body.

Even if he muttered to himself to relax, his rationality, completely consumed by instinct whenever facing Jaemin, always ended in defeat. Daeyoung could be satisfied just with the confessions Jang Jaemin occasionally uttered with clouded eyes after succumbing to sex.

But Daeyoung’s emotions now desired something more than that. His life couldn’t go back to before the first moment he saw the omega he loved, looking at him with happiness in his eyes.

Just as Shin Joohee, who remembered Jang Jaemin’s childhood as angelic, lovely, and kind, couldn’t deny the affection she felt for him.

“…Fuck.”

His cock, tucked under his thigh, hardened. Daeyoung cursed under his breath as he felt a surge of arousal.

Suppressing the desire to cover that angelic face with thick semen was certainly not easy. The lovely omega, on the verge of conceiving his child, returned to him in the most perfect moment as if to tease him.

Fuck, he would probably drive me crazy for a lifetime.

Daeyoung rubbed his face with his dry hand and checked the time. He wasn’t planning to sit idly by while Jaemin recovered, so he had an appointment to meet someone important today.

He had planned to leave once the doctor who went to check on Jaemin’s wounds came out, but the doctor, who had entered ten minutes ago, was still inside, presumably taking all day to remove the bandages.

Without delay, he stood up and walked toward the bedroom, intending to check Jaemin’s face under the pretense of telling the doctor to hurry up.

“…”

But his steps halted abruptly due to the scent that came through the closed door. The moment he caught the faint, damp scent like rain-soaked roses, Daeyoung violently turned the doorknob.

Click.

Before he even realized the door was locked, his fist went first. Thud! The rough grain of the breaking door scratched his hand, drawing blood, but he felt nothing. He turned the locked knob, kicking the door with force to break it open.

What met his distorted gaze was Jang Jaemin lying on the bed with his pants down and the doctor, who had fallen to the floor in shock.

“…Why are you here now, honey?”

Jang Jaemin’s voice, lazy with one hand behind his head, dispersed in the air. The drool dripping from Jaemin’s exposed member and the doctor’s reddened lips clearly showed what had just happened. Blood rushed from Daeyoung’s heart to his head.

Daeyoung strode over to the doctor on the floor, fist clenched. The doctor, crawling backward like a scarecrow, opened his mouth incoherently with a trembling voice.

“He, he, he said there might be a problem with the reproductive organs… sob!”

Thud! The doctor’s face turned. Daeyoung thought about peeling the skin off the doctor’s face as he gripped his cheek hard.

“P-please, spare me, I was threatened too… gasp!”

Daeyoung hit the doctor’s face again, seeing too much enthusiasm for someone supposedly threatened. Despite seeing blood spurt out, his excitement didn’t subside; instead, it danced within him.

“My wife is quite, very sexy, isn’t she?”

Daeyoung twisted his lips while striking the crying doctor repeatedly with his thick, bear-like hand. Thud! Thud! He thought it would be better to separate the doctor’s lower jaw so he could never put anything else in his mouth besides Jaemin’s cock. Peeling the face off would come next.

“Help… cough… help me… sob!”

The doctor’s head hit the floor hard as he reached out trembling. If it hadn’t been for the rug on the floor, it would have been enough force to shatter his skull.

Daeyoung’s face slowly turned towards where the doctor’s gaze fell. On Jaemin’s index finger, with his indoor shirt unbuttoned and still exposing his cock, a medical scissor, undoubtedly belonging to the doctor, spun around.

“What are you doing, not killing him quickly?”

Jaemin asked, looking at him intently. Even in this situation, Daeyoung couldn’t believe he was satisfied that Jaemin’s cock was pointing downward.