Knock, knock— A soft rapping on the door pulled me from my thoughts.
“Evelyn, are you really not going to eat?”
Along with it came my mother’s worried voice. Considering how I had arrived at dawn without a word, stayed in bed all day without eating, it was only natural for her to be concerned.
Suppressing a sigh, I pushed myself up from the bed. When I opened the door, my mother and father were standing there, their faces filled with worry.
“Evelyn, are you okay?”
My father was the first to ask. He had likely been unable to properly tend to his work today because of me.
“…I’m sorry.”
Lowering my head in guilt, I avoided their gazes. My mother carefully pulled me into a gentle hug, patting my back.
“You’ll tell us what happened later, won’t you?”
“…Yes, I will.”
After holding me tightly once more, she finally let go and called over the maid waiting behind her. The maid was pushing a trolley laden with food.
“You might get hungry later, so we’ll leave this in your room.”
“Okay…”
The maid quickly set the food on a table and left. Meeting my mother’s eyes, I nodded.
“Get some rest.”
“Thank you.”
After seeing my parents off, I collapsed back onto the bed. The scent of food wafted through the air, but strangely, I didn’t feel hungry. Perhaps it was because my mind was too occupied.
Dwelling on what had happened yesterday wouldn’t change anything. Instead, I needed to think about what came next.
‘Caesar has awakened now, after all.’
That meant I could leave the imperial palace as I had originally planned. I could go to Summerhill and live the peaceful life I had always wanted.
‘A peaceful life, huh…’
No more lurking threats, no more exhausting political games, no more entanglements with complicated people. It would all finally be over.
I had accomplished everything I had set out to do—I had found a guide for Caesar, helped him ascend to the throne, strengthened his imperial authority, and even awakened his powers.
The noble faction hadn’t rebelled, Caesar was alive, and the empress had survived. Floria no longer had to flee, and I didn’t have to sacrifice myself.
Everything had gone perfectly.
And yet… why?
Why did the thought of all of this coming to an end feel so strangely empty?
At first, all I had wanted was a peaceful life—a warm family, a stable income, and safety.
But somewhere along the way, I had changed. I had started doing things I didn’t necessarily have to do, throwing myself into them wholeheartedly.
It was only now that I realized—I had spent most of the past few years living for Caesar.
I had wanted him to be safe. I had wanted him to be happy. Seeing Caesar, who had lost both parents and grown up without a shred of love, finally smiling… it had made me happy.
I let out a quiet, hollow laugh.
No—it wasn’t for Caesar’s sake at all.
I had only ever wanted to see him happy. For my sake.
When had my life’s purpose shifted?
Imagining a future without Caesar in it… all I felt was overwhelming uncertainty.
‘What should I do…?’
I buried my face in my hands. Every time my fingers brushed against my cheek, the wound there stung.
****
By the time the wound on my cheek had healed without a trace, I returned to the imperial palace.
It had been a week.
The first place I went was Katana’s room. My father had told me that she was worried sick since I had disappeared without a word and hadn’t contacted anyone.
Knock, knock—
I tapped lightly on the door and spoke cautiously.
“Katana. It’s me, Evelyn.”
Although it was nearly noon, Katana was so erratic in her daily routine that she might still be sleeping. I kept my voice low just in case.
However, contrary to my expectations, the door swung open immediately.
“Evelyn!”
Katana lunged at me, wrapping me in a tight embrace.
“Evelyn! Where were you?!”
I barely managed to pry her off my waist. I wondered for a moment if she was crying, but instead, she glared at me fiercely, her eyes sharp with frustration.
“Do you have any idea how much I worried?! I thought… I thought you had left for good!”
“I’m sorry, I really am.”
I soothed her while stepping into the room. After seating her at the table and calling a maid to bring her some sweet snacks, she finally started to calm down.
“So, what the hell is going on?!”
…Or maybe not.
“Are you really quitting palace life? Because of what you said before, that thing about Caesar’s powers manifesting?”
“Mm…”
She had hit the mark with unsettling accuracy.
After a brief hesitation, I decided to tell Katana everything—the truth about Caesar’s powers, the fact that I was his guide, and everything that had happened the other night.
More than for her sake, I was doing it for myself. I needed to tell at least one person if I wanted to ease even a fraction of this burden on my heart.
Katana looked utterly stunned.
“So you’re saying Caesar has an ability even greater than magic?”
“Most likely. Though he hasn’t told me exactly what it is, so I don’t know the details.”
“But then… why did he lie to you?”
“That’s what I still don’t understand.”
Katana fell into thought, then hesitated before speaking.
“Um, Evelyn. You said Caesar sometimes lost control… and that he’d been sick on occasion, right?”
“Yeah, he’s collapsed before. He’s had fevers, and… this time, he even searched for poison…”
I trailed off, feeling bitter. But Katana’s expression was… odd.
“Uh, I think I’ve heard a story like that before.”
“…What?”
“When you mentioned him being sick. Actually… a while back, Caesar once asked me to make a potion for him.”
“What?!”
Startled, I raised my voice, and Katana hesitated before continuing.
“He asked for something that would, um… make him look sick. Something that would give him a fever. He was really desperate, so I made it for him without asking too many questions, but now that I think about it…”
She glanced at me cautiously.
“Wait. When was this?”
“Let’s see… Oh! It was the year you came of age! That summer!”
I was dumbfounded. I couldn’t hide my disbelief.
The summer I turned eighteen… That was the day of my debutante ball.
The day Caesar collapsed, forcing me to abandon the event and rush to the emperor’s quarters.
“Ha…”
Had Caesar been deceiving me since then? But why?
There was only one thing Caesar could have gained from pretending to be sick that day—keeping me from attending my debutante.
But would he really go that far… just for a debutante?
Then, I suddenly recalled something from a year ago.
“Do you really have to go to the debutante…?”
Caesar had asked me that… with tears in his eyes.
So he really did it to stop me from attending? Not just last year, but the year before, too?
I had thought it was strange at the time. Crying over something like a debutante didn’t make sense.
I had assumed he was just jealous that I was coming of age before him.
But now, knowing the truth about what happened two years ago… it felt even stranger.
He was willing to make himself sick just to keep me from attending my debutante?
“That way… Evelyn won’t be able to leave me.”
The Caesar who had faked an illness to stop my debutante.
The Caesar who lost control to stop me from leaving.
Somehow… those two things felt connected.
I was so close to understanding. Just on the verge of grasping something important.
I abruptly stood up.
“Where are you going now?!”
Katana jumped up as well, grabbing my sleeve. She looked terrified, as if afraid I would disappear again.
“Don’t worry.”
I smiled, gently prying her fingers away.
“I won’t leave without saying anything this time.”
Even if I was going to leave in the end—before that, I needed to have a real conversation with Caesar.
****
Standing in front of the Emperor’s palace for the first time in a week, I took a deep breath.
It wasn’t as if I had returned with some grand resolve. I was here out of a sense of duty as the deputy lady-in-waiting, and for the people who were surely worried about me—like Katana.
I had agonized over it the entire time, but I still hadn’t reached a conclusion. Should I leave as originally planned? Or should I stay?
Besides, it wasn’t a decision I could make on my own.
So deep down, I had expected that I would end up seeing Caesar one way or another.
“Haa…”
Sighing, I made my way to Caesar’s chambers, my steps familiar from years of routine.
Yet, something about the atmosphere in the Emperor’s palace felt off.
There were fewer servants roaming the halls than usual, and the air carried a strange sense of desolation.
Am I imagining things?
I hurried toward his chambers, but as soon as I arrived, the guards standing at the door widened their eyes in shock at the sight of me.
“Deputy lady-in-waiting!”
“Ah, hello.”
“Where have you been all this time?!”
“Huh? Why? Did something happen?”
Their reaction was too unusual, so I immediately asked. One of the guards gaped at me as if I had just said something unthinkable.
“You don’t know? His Majesty has canceled all external engagements for the past week!”
“What?”
“At first, he was at least eating his meals, but lately, he hasn’t even shown his face. His chief aide keeps saying that you are needed, but he won’t explain why…”
Caesar had locked himself in his chambers? And Alvin had been looking for me?
“Where is His Majesty right now?”
“He’s in his chambers. But he ordered that no one be allowed inside…”
The guard hesitated, but I already knew.
This was because of that night.
“Move aside.”
I pushed past the guard and knocked urgently on the door.
“Your Majesty, are you in there?”
There was no response from inside.
“It’s me, Evelyn.”
At that, I thought I heard a sudden thud from within.
A bad feeling crept over me.
“I’m coming in!”
Ignoring the flustered guards behind me, I swung the door open.
Comments (0)