Kill Your X Chapter 29

“Is he moonlighting as a shaman or something?”

The inside of the house was tidy, unlike its exterior. Confirming it was indeed a shaman’s house, I saw a folding screen with unfamiliar paintings and various other artifacts as soon as I entered.

I couldn’t imagine Si Yeonho wearing such colorful clothes and shaking a bell. I must have been given the wrong address.

Feeling uneasy, I was about to leave when a room, open about a finger’s width, caught my attention. Even considering the lights were off, the gap was excessively dark. Curiosity and fear battled, and in the end, I went towards it.

“What is this…?”

I thought it was dark simply because the lights weren’t on, but I was wrong. I froze as soon as I stepped into the room at the abnormal sight.

Every surface of the room was jet black. It wasn’t that the wallpaper was originally black. What filled the originally white walls was black writing. Looking closely, I realized the dense writing was my name, “Song Gyujin,” written over and over.

My mind went blank at the traces of obsession plastered all over. As I realized what it was, my breathing became ragged. An unknown force pulled me downwards. I resisted even though I didn’t know what it was, and then someone approached from behind.

Even though I clearly felt their presence, I couldn’t react immediately. My body and mind were already beyond my control. Tears streamed down my face at the familiar yet unfamiliar spasms.

“Gasp, huh…!”

Just before I blacked out, he caught me as I fell backward.

“Be careful, Sunbae.”

At the voice I heard right before losing consciousness, I fell into an even deeper abyss.

#The Nameless Man

I’ve loved books since I was young, and in high school, I joined the library club. As I progressed through the grades, I became the head of the library club, half by my own will, half by others’. It was the result of being persuaded that the experience would look good on my school records.

Being a good student and a model student, I easily gained the trust of the teachers. The librarian was no exception. She particularly favored me and often asked me to look after the library while she was away.

‘Gyujin practically lives in the library, doesn’t he? He’s practically a resident ghost.’

Other teachers would occasionally make jokes that were close to the truth. They’d advise me to take it easy, even if I was working hard, whether it was studying or reading.

‘Yes, teacher. Thank you for your concern.’

They looked at me, always polite and respectful, with satisfaction. Unaware of the impure thoughts I harbored inside.

During CA periods, the few library club members would sit in their preferred spots in the spacious library and read. Since we were allowed to take books outside to read, there were many times when I was left alone in the library when the weather was nice. I rather enjoyed those times. Because I could enjoy my own free time.

My designated spot was in the most secluded corner, the ancient literature section, where books that could be said to have never been borrowed since the library opened were gathered. Once I confirmed that no one, including the librarian, was in the library, I would immerse myself in a secret world. It was time to reveal a secret that no one should know.

It was a completely accidental discovery. I didn’t know why adult Japanese manga featuring men together would be hidden in a high school library. I assumed someone was looking for a place to store them other than their home. After searching online, I found that it was a Japanese book published over ten years ago, so I vaguely imagined it was the work of a distant Sunbae.

On a day with particularly warm sunlight, I was once again hidden in my sanctuary, secretly enjoying my transgression. Anyone passing by would think I was just reading a thick book, but inside, I was completely engrossed in something else.

Although I had realized my sexual orientation early on in middle school, I had never imagined having a concrete relationship with another person. I had never even watched a pornographic video with my peers, so I was completely ignorant in that area. Even though it was fiction, the explicit manga, which I encountered for the first time in my life, was enough to captivate me. It was right at that moment, when I was completely absorbed in the provocative content.

“Whoa!”

By the time I sensed the instinctive danger and looked up, it was too late. For some reason, the neatly arranged books tumbled down on top of me. Just as I was about to be helplessly crushed, someone shielded me. The face I looked up at belonged to someone I had never seen before at school.

“Uh…”

He possessed a mystical appearance that immediately caught my eye. The mature aura, unusual for a high school student, added to it. He stared down at me without blinking. His expression was so indifferent that it took me a while to grasp the situation.

That he had shielded me with his body from the falling books, and that he had seen what I had hidden inside.

It happened to be a scene where two male characters were engaged in a position from behind. My face flushed crimson, and I slammed the book shut. As I moved out from under the shade he had created, he straightened up. Thud, thud. The remaining books that had been on top of him fell to the floor.

“You’re bleeding!”

I was about to make excuses for reading an adult book when I noticed something more serious. The boy’s forehead was bleeding, probably from being hit by a falling book. He reacted indifferently to my observation, as if he were used to being injured.

“The nurse’s office, let’s go to the nurse’s office quickly.”

“I’m fine.”

He brushed off the arm I had unconsciously grabbed. It was a gentle yet firm gesture.

“What are you talking about? Your head is bleeding!”

“I said I’m fine.”

Even his voice had a strange power. Normally, if someone was injured that much, they’d be making a bigger fuss. His overly indifferent reaction, combined with his unique languid air, made me doubt my own judgment. As I just stood there with my mouth open, he turned around, leaving a single remark.

“Be careful.”

I heard someone else entering the library from a distance. I grabbed him again and lowered my voice.

“Hey, what’s your name?”

I wouldn’t have been able to argue if someone accused me of being inhuman, but I didn’t ask his name because I was worried about him being injured because of me. It was more about covering up the secret I’d been exposed.

The boy stared at me for a moment before answering. Instead of waiting, I found the answer I wanted on his school uniform.

“Si Yeonho, Yeonho. That’s a pretty name. But, you know…”

Was it because I started with an inappropriate compliment that didn’t fit the situation? The boy brushed my hand away again and quickly disappeared. Judging by the color of his name tag, he was a freshman. Then he must have just gotten his uniform, but his pants were short, suggesting he was in the middle of a growth spurt.

Coming to my senses belatedly, I first put the fallen books back on the shelves. The grey dust scattered nearby told me that what had just happened wasn’t a dream.

“Si Yeonho…”

I savored the three characters engraved on the white business card. I thought it was a name that suited his soft and handsome features. He was tall, too, he must be very popular in his class.

My envy was short-lived, as realistic worries washed over me.

‘He’s not going to spread rumors about what I was looking at, is he?’

Even if the rumors spread, I could just deny them, but since it was the first time my secret had been exposed, I wasn’t thinking straight. Besides, the truth wasn’t that important when it came to gossip.

I had worked so hard to build my model student image, and I didn’t want to be followed by sordid rumors. Back then, that image was my entire life. Disappointing those around me, whether they were my parents or teachers, was unacceptable.

I didn’t know if the rumors would actually spread, but I thought I should definitely explain myself. If he had misunderstood, I would tell him that I was just looking for another book and accidentally saw it, and that I was about to tell the librarian.

However, I didn’t see Si Yeonho for a long time after that. Even when I asked freshman library club members I knew, they just said they didn’t know him well.

As I kept asking whenever I had the chance, a library club member asked a friend in another class and brought back an answer.

‘That Si Yeonho kid, he doesn’t come to school often.’

They said the number of times he had properly attended class since the start of the new semester could be counted on one hand. I was inwardly relieved. From the few bits of information I’d gathered, Si Yeonho wasn’t what you’d call a social butterfly. Since he didn’t even have any friends, he wouldn’t spread rumors as I’d feared.

I didn’t know his story, but I hoped he’d quietly transfer to another school. I wished that many times a day, trying to forget the embarrassing memory.

“Here, take this.”

Si Yeonho, who appeared after about a month, handed me an envelope while I was studying in the library. Inside, I found books. To be precise, they were similar in genre to the manga I had been secretly reading.

“Oh, my god!”

I was so surprised that I pushed the envelope away. Si Yeonho nonchalantly picked up the book that fell on the floor and handed it back to me. My face burned at the embarrassing cover.

I glared at him instead of taking the book, trying to gauge his intentions.

“Aren’t you going to take it?”

“Why would I take that?”

“I thought you liked it.”

Si Yeonho muttered. I looked around and lowered my voice. Fortunately, no one was paying attention to us.

“I think you’ve misunderstood something. Um…Yeonho.”

I said, glancing at his name tag. I forced an awkward smile, as if to say I really wasn’t interested. But he didn’t believe my excuse.

“You don’t have to take it, but it’s best to relieve your sexual urges in a timely manner.”