Kill Your X Chapter 30

“What?”

That was definitely not something students should be discussing in the school library.

“Otherwise, dangerous things will keep happening. It’s your fate, I guess.”

His gaze was directed above my head, not at me. A chill ran down my spine, not knowing what he was looking at.

Despite my fear, I was determined to talk to him. He must have misunderstood me since he’d done this.

“Okay, I understand. Can you give me your phone number?”

Si Yeonho stared at me. I swallowed hard several times, forcing a friendly smile I had mastered early on. He didn’t answer until a small twitch appeared at the corner of my mouth.

“Yeonho? Yeonho!”

Then he just walked away. I thought he went back to class when the bell rang, but a few minutes later, I looked out the window and saw Si Yeonho leisurely crossing the playground and leaving school. As if he had come to school just to give me adult magazines.

Dazed, I hid the black envelope in my bag, lest anyone see it. It’s a secret only I know that I was late for my cram school class that day because I was wandering around trying to discreetly throw away the troublesome magazines.

✽✽✽

Perhaps my worries were unfounded, because even after a few weeks, no strange rumors spread around school. Despite witnessing me doing something inappropriate and even giving me adult magazines, Si Yeonho, that junior, kept his own kind of loyalty. Even if he had no intention of spreading rumors, I wanted to clear up the misunderstanding, but it was difficult because he rarely came to school.

Si Yeonho remained a ghost-like presence among my classmates. Most of them didn’t know his phone number, let alone recognize his name. Usually, since students are assigned to schools based on their residential area, their middle schools overlap, but Si Yeonho seemed to have dropped out of nowhere.

But he’s really handsome. He has a mature aura that doesn’t match his age. I wondered how little he must attend school to have such a nonexistent presence. I looked it up and found that students have to attend at least 1/3 of the total school days to be promoted. I wondered if he even intended to continue attending school.

Having never been late or absent unless I was very sick, his boldness felt strange to me.

Did he have so much money that he didn’t need to go to school? Or was he training to be a celebrity at an agency? Even if the world had changed, a high school diploma was still the minimum requirement these days, wasn’t it? The more I thought about it, the more my personal embarrassment turned into nosiness towards others.

Time passed regardless of my troubled mind. Just as the uneasiness buried in a corner of my heart began to fade, I encountered Si Yeonho again in a completely unexpected place.

“Oh, Yeonho? You’re Si Yeonho, right?”

I had stopped by the bookstore to buy workbooks before going to cram school, and I was on my way out. I tilted my head at the side profile that passed by, and then when I saw his face, I called out to him. We were separated by a crosswalk, and unfortunately, the light was red, so I couldn’t cross right away. There were no cars on the road, but the social norms I’d been indoctrinated with since childhood held me back.

I didn’t take my eyes off him, afraid he’d disappear like the wind again. I raised my hand and waved it around to get his attention. Fortunately, Si Yeonho stood there and watched my antics.

“Yeonho!”

Finally, the crosswalk signal turned green. Not a single car passed by while I waited to cross.

“Hi. Do you remember me?”

“……”

For a moment, I wondered if I’d mistaken him for someone else. His reaction was that cold. Still, his appearance was too distinctive to mistake. Unless Si Yeonho had a twin.

“Last month, or was it the month before? Anyway, we saw each other in the school library.”

I didn’t want to say it myself, but that was our only connection.

His jet-black eyes read my name embroidered on my school uniform.

“Song Gyujin.”

“Right. By the way, I’m a year older than you. I’m a sophomore.”

“Do you need more adult magazines?”

“What?”

Taken aback by his absurd question, I grabbed his arm. I wanted to prevent him from running away, but his arm muscles were unusually firm, so it was more like he was letting me hold him. Did he not go to school and just work out? I wondered if he was pursuing a path as an athlete rather than as a celebrity.

“Let’s go somewhere and talk instead of doing this here. Or should we?”

Unlike me in my school uniform, he was wearing black pants and a black leather jacket. Even though I was older, to a stranger, we would look like brothers rather than friends.

“Are you busy? If so, can I at least get your phone number…?”

“Let’s talk.”

My face brightened at his hard-won permission. When I asked him when he last ate, he shook his head instead of answering, so I took him to a nearby fast-food burger place.

“Yeonho, what do you want to eat? I’ll buy it for you.”

“I’m not eating.”

“Don’t be shy. I’m offering to buy you something.”

When I asked again, Si Yeonho looked at me with his usual indifferent eyes and said, “The same as Sunbae.” His subtly rude attitude bothered me, but since I was the one who needed something, I pretended not to care and paid.

It was that awkward time in the afternoon before dinner, so there weren’t many people in the restaurant. I approached Si Yeonho, who had already taken a seat in the corner, with the tray.

“This is yours. I also ordered extra chicken nuggets.”

Without a word of thanks, Si Yeonho just sullenly stared at the burger. When I’d asked him earlier when he last ate, did shaking his head mean he didn’t want to eat? I felt awkward, wondering if I had dragged him here despite his subtle cues.

“Why is it so hard to see you at school? You’re a student, you know.”

I forced a gentle smile and spoke kindly, trying not to sound like I was nagging.

“I’m not a student.”

“You look like one since you’re wearing regular clothes. I don’t mean you look old, so don’t misunderstand.”

I wasn’t particularly hungry either, but since I had already ordered, I unwrapped the burger. When I urged him to eat, Si Yeonho picked up a French fry with a truly reluctant look. He munched on it without even dipping it in ketchup. I was surprised; I had never seen anyone eat French fries so joylessly.

“I don’t know what your circumstances are, but shouldn’t you try to go to school more often? I’m worried.”

“Who’s worried?”

It didn’t make sense for it to be his homeroom teacher or friends. Si Yeonho knew better than anyone that he was practically invisible at school.

“Me. I’m worried.”

“Why?”

I was at a loss for words when he asked. Si Yeonho and I weren’t particularly close, and we hadn’t talked much. We hadn’t even exchanged ten words before today.

“Well, maybe I have a crush on you?”

I regretted the words the instant they left my mouth. I hadn’t realized it, but I must have been very nervous.

“I’m kidding. I tend to be nosy with kids who have trouble adjusting to school. The teachers know that, so they always ask me to take care of someone.”

It was half true and half false. I wasn’t innately altruistic, but I diligently fulfilled the qualities society expected of a model student. Because I believed it would ultimately benefit me, even if it was bothersome.

“I was worried because I suddenly stopped seeing you in the library. That part is true.”

Let’s see what other nonsense you’ll come up with. Si Yeonho watched me with that exact attitude. I sometimes sensed something akin to murderous intent that I hadn’t seen in my peers. He definitely wasn’t an ordinary student.

“But, I’m saying this in case you misunderstood, Yeonho. About the…strange book I was reading in the library before. I swear to god, it’s not my thing, I just happened to find it…”

I rambled on and on. It was the first time I had spoken so incoherently since I learned to talk as a baby. Si Yeonho listened to my long-winded excuse without interrupting. The few French fries he’d picked at and the unwrapped burger grew cold in front of him.

“In short, it was all a misunderstanding. I don’t know why that kind of book was hidden in our school library. It might have been a prank, so I’ll tell the librarian to prevent this from happening again.”

I was surprised too, you know. My excuse only started sounding natural towards the end. I chuckled as if it was no big deal, and after a long while, Si Yeonho finally spoke. I had just taken a sip of cola.

“Sunbae.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you have anyone to fuck?”

I was so startled that I dropped the burger I was about to eat.