Even My Life Is Yours Chapter 15

“If I said I cherish Lady Sujin, would you have helped me?”

Gamyoung immediately regretted his words as soon as he uttered them. It was something he didn’t mean. Of course, he had a favorable impression of Sujin, but it was only a human affection as a colleague and friend, not romantic love. If so, he should have just said the truth. There was no need to be sarcastic like this. Gamyoung couldn’t understand why he was getting angry. This wasn’t like him.

However, seeing Hongyo smiling at Sujin while saying cryptic things made him feel strangely upset. It was none other than himself who, not long ago, wanted to introduce a good match to Hongyo, who was dejected after hearing the news of Kyungrak’s marriage.

Even then, the thought of Hongyo getting married wasn’t exactly pleasant, but he wasn’t this agitated, only somewhat disappointed.

Gamyoung couldn’t understand why he was feeling this way. He figured the excited atmosphere from drinking must have made his own feelings go wild. Gamyoung looked back at Hongyo, who was staring at him with a bewildered face. Gamyoung knew better than anyone how childish and immature his words were. But once his emotions were unleashed, even Gamyoung himself couldn’t control them.

Because he couldn’t understand what the affectionate gazes at Sujin, the gentle hand brushing her hair meant, when Hongyo claimed to be in love with Kyungrak. Even as his closest friend, he couldn’t fathom Yeo Hongyo’s heart.

The wind blew, and the lanterns swayed. From beyond the wall came the boisterous sounds of laughter and chatter. Amidst all this, Hongyo, who had been quietly making eye contact with Gamyoung, opened his mouth.

“Yes. If you had asked for my help, I would have helped you.”

Hongyo, looking away from Gamyoung, spoke while looking up at a lantern.

“You and I are in different situations. You will soon take up a government post and take a spouse, while I will continue to hunt like this and take care of my grandmother alone. We are together as friends now, but who knows what the future holds? You won’t be able to live like this once you have a wife.”

“…….”

“It seems Lady Sujin doesn’t dislike you either. Both you and Lady Sujin are good people, so you would make a perfect match for each other.”

Suddenly, a sense of déjà vu washed over him. Gamyoung felt a churning sensation in his stomach. Hongyo kept creating distance between them. He didn’t know why Hongyo was saying these things, but whenever he saw him like this, his heart grew cold. It felt like a lie that he had just hurried his steps to go see the festival with Yeo Hongyo.

Gamyoung stood up. He didn’t think he could face Hongyo with a pleasant expression in his current mood. Hongyo, seeing Gamyoung walk away without a word, spoke hurriedly in a flustered voice.

“Hey! Where are you going?”

At that voice, his footsteps stopped involuntarily, as if he couldn’t ignore Yeo Hongyo. Gamyoung stopped and looked back at Hongyo, his gaze as cold as his heart.

“What does it matter? We’ll drift apart anyway.”

˖°⛩️⋆˙️

The arrow sliced through the wind and struck the target. Landing far from the center, the arrow settled with a dismal score. Gamyoung sighed, looking at the arrow stuck at seven points. Even though he wasn’t skilled with a bow from the start, unlike some people, he wasn’t usually this bad.

Even amidst this, the thought of “that someone” whose archery skills were exceptional came to mind, tormenting him. As expected, he felt no better afterward. Even though this wasn’t the first time he had argued with Hongyo, it was the first time he felt so inexplicably frustrated without any clear reason. In truth, it wasn’t even a proper argument, but him unilaterally leaving, so Yeo Hongyo was surely bewildered. Gamyoung drew the bowstring, but ultimately let it down without releasing the arrow.

He came to the royal training grounds at this early hour to clear his head, but to think that Yeo Hongyo was still on his mind!

Why was he so weak only to that guy, wallowing in self-pity like this? No matter how much he racked his brain, he couldn’t find an answer. It was all because of his weak mental fortitude. He needed to focus on training instead of these useless thoughts.

Finally, Gamyoung nocked an arrow from his quiver and drew the bowstring. Holding the taut string, he concentrated on the target. But the arrow, upon release, still landed with a hopelessly low score.

“Six points!”

He had come at this hour intentionally, knowing others wouldn’t be around, but a sly voice called out from behind him. Gamyoung turned around to see Kyungrak standing there, as if he’d been there all along. Gamyoung hurriedly bowed in greeting.

“Your Highness, the Crown Prince.”

“Enough with that. What’s with the formality between us? It’s awkward.”

Though Kyungrak hadn’t yet undergone the coronation ceremony, having received the dragon’s blessing, he was undoubtedly the future emperor. As Gamyoung tried to bow again out of courtesy, Kyungrak raised his hand to stop him. Kyungrak slowly walked over and stood next to Gamyoung. Then, he extended his hand towards the bow Gamyoung was still holding. Gamyoung obediently handed over the bow, and Kyungrak accepted it.

Kyungrak nocked an arrow and drew the string. Without much aiming, the arrow left the string and landed squarely in the center of the target. Watching this, Gamyoung said curtly,

“You haven’t changed. Do you enjoy making your younger brother feel inadequate?”

“Don’t be so dramatic. You also need to improve quickly and become a general to assist me.”

There he goes again. Kyungrak knew that no other royal family member besides the Emperor could hold military power, yet he always said this. How ironic. As Gamyoung made a displeased face, Kyungrak burst into laughter.

“Gamyoung, when will you learn to hide your expressions? Once you become royalty, the servants will look down on you if you continue like that.”

“I only act like this with you, brother, so you needn’t worry.”

“You rascal. Let’s see how long you can keep up that talk.”

“It was you, brother, who said you weren’t the emperor yet. When you ascend to the throne, I’ll naturally watch my tongue.”

“You never miss a beat. That’s my brother for you.”

Laughing heartily, Kyungrak picked up the bow again. Once again, the arrow landed precisely in the center, the shaft vibrating from the impact.

“So, why did you return to the palace so early yesterday? I thought you’d be staying outside the capital as usual. Last night, the laughter of the people could be heard even beyond the palace walls. Why didn’t you stay out longer?”

“I had a slight cold, so I came back early.”

Kyungrak, who was drawing the bowstring once more, put down the bow at those words and looked at Gamyoung.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I should have told the royal physicians to prepare some medicinal tea.”

“No, it’s fine. I slept and felt better, so I came to the training grounds.”

Despite this, Kyungrak reached out and placed his hand on Gamyoung’s forehead.

“You certainly don’t seem to have a fever.”

“…What did I say? Brother, you treat me like a child sometimes.”

Gamyoung, replying a little belatedly, looked at Kyungrak. Kyungrak removed his hand from Gamyoung’s forehead, laughed aloud, and then replied,

“Aren’t you special to me? Even though it’s not to the same extent as our eldest brother, I was old enough to play ball when you were still a suckling babe, so it’s not unreasonable that I still see you as a child. I can still clearly picture you, barely able to walk, toddling after me every day asking to play. Oh, there was that incident too. Do you remember when you first learned swordsmanship and, wanting to show off, swung a wooden sword at me? And when you got a bit older, you kept asking me to teach you the secret to climbing over the walls because you wanted to go outside. Yes, and you even asked me to go with you because you were scared since it was your first time. If I had known you’d be wandering outside like this, I should have stopped you then. Where else would I find a younger brother who talks to me so boldly?”

Gamyoung stared silently at Kyungrak. Even if Kyungrak said this, it was he who held his small hand and roamed all over the palace when he was young. It was also Kyungrak who helped him climb over that high wall when he was a little older and curious about the world outside the palace.

“When brother becomes emperor, we won’t be able to spend time together like this, will we?”

The thought made him feel a little wistful. Gamyoung shuddered at the embarrassing emotion. Kyungrak, looking at Gamyoung like that, curved his lips into a smile as if finding him cute.

“We won’t be able to see each other as often as we do now. If I become emperor, I won’t be able to move around as freely.”

At those words, Gamyoung silently turned his gaze towards the target. He felt like he understood a little of Hongyo’s feelings, as he seemed to be distancing himself lately. He probably thought that since Kyungrak was leaving, he should too.

There were no arrows stuck in the center of the target. It was as if it reflected his troubled heart. Watching Gamyoung like this, Kyungrak asked,

“Why, are you feeling sentimental?”

When Gamyoung looked away from the target, Kyungrak was smiling playfully. Gamyoung replied,

“A little.”

Then, taking the bow back from Kyungrak, Gamyoung nocked an arrow and drew the string. However, the arrow, still falling far short of the center, flew over the target and landed in the bushes behind it. He felt sentimental towards Kyungrak, but honestly, he felt more upset with Hongyo. However, Kyungrak, who was unaware of these feelings, widened his eyes slightly, as if he hadn’t expected that answer, and then playfully ruffled Gamyoung’s hair.

“You rascal. You like your older brother that much? I can’t help it. Even if I become emperor, I’ll have to sneak out often for my younger brother.”

Kyungrak laughed heartily, seemingly in a good mood. Gamyoung didn’t bother to correct his misunderstanding. Kyungrak, watching Gamyoung, asked,

“So, what’s got you so riled up, little brother? Enough to come to the training grounds instead of playing outside on such an auspicious day? Did Hongyo not play with you?”

Since they were practically glued to each other’s side every day, it was natural for Kyungrak to ask about Hongyo. In the first place, it was Gamyoung who had said they would go see the lanterns together after the Imryong Festival, as Hongyo enjoyed looking at them. They were said to have a bond as close as sworn brothers, but they were certainly exceptional.

However, Gamyoung remained silent, as if they had actually had a fight. Kyungrak drew the bowstring, but let it down again.

“What is it? Did you two really fight?”

“Fight? No way!”

Gamyoung, having been hit where it hurt, retorted loudly. At that, Kyungrak looked at him as if dumbfounded, but seeing Gamyoung avert his eyes in embarrassment, he laughed mischievously. No matter how much he tried to act mature, at times like these, he was undeniably a child.

“So, you two do fight after all, despite being inseparable. Whatever it is, it must be your fault, Gamyoung. Apologize and make up.”

“…Why do you think it’s my fault?”

Even knowing that his response acknowledged the argument, Gamyoung stubbornly persisted. Kyungrak replied casually,

“Gamyoung, you sometimes seem to forget that you’re a member of the royal family. No matter how much you mingle with the commoners outside, you are royalty. It’s only natural that there are things you can’t mutually understand.”

Kyungrak spoke calmly to Gamyoung, who had a perplexed expression.

“It’s our duty to be tolerant of such people.”