Even My Life Is Yours Chapter 66

Hongyo had many merits. Even though she had saved his life, the fact that they had been able to remain close friends until now was partly because they got along so well, but also because each possessed the merits the other lacked.

One of those was honesty. Gamyoung liked that Hongyo was honest, and he found it fascinating that she knew how to express her own emotions. In the imperial palace, where one always had to hide expressions and conceal feelings, she was a type of person that was hard to imagine. And so, whenever Gamyoung went outside the palace to meet Hongyo, he too became able to show a bit more varied expressions than he could inside the palace.

“Gamyoung-ah. I must have missed you so much.”

The way her eyes widened hugely in surprise, as if she hadn’t realized it herself, was cute. Her face, openly expressing her honest emotions just like that, was so lovable. Thus, Gamyoung felt a surging impulse that he wouldn’t be able to bear without pulling the person right in front of him into an embrace right then and there.

His heart was pounding so hard that he could even taste the metallic tang in his mouth. His fingertips tingled from the impulse to embrace her immediately, so Gamyoung clenched his fist so tightly it hurt. Even so, afraid that his heaving breaths would give it away, he had to slowly calm his breathing as well.

But there was no helping the desire to close that distance. Even though she was this close, he wanted to reach her even nearer. He wanted to hold her hands, which had turned white from winter night training, bury her frozen, reddened cheeks in both his hands, and even swallow those lips from which cold breaths slightly escaped into the night air.

Gamyoung himself thought that he hadn’t realized he could be this greedy. If it was because she was closer than anyone outside the palace yet still out of reach, then he had to abandon the arrogance that he could bury this feeling by simply turning away from Hongyo any longer. Rather, the less he saw her, the more he wanted to seek her out, and the longer the time without her in front of his eyes, the more his heart ached.

Gamyoung had to admit that this feeling wasn’t one that would easily fade. He had completely misjudged it. If it had been a feeling that could be easily let go from the start, he would have kept denying it and trying to forget it somehow.

Gamyoung took one step closer. With that, the already small distance narrowed sharply. To the point where, if he just reached out his hand a little, he could cup that frozen, flushed face. At that suddenly much closer distance, bewilderment flickered in Hongyo’s pupils.

The air enveloping Gamyoung suddenly changed. She didn’t know exactly what it was, but Hongyo could feel that Gamyoung was different from usual right now. It wasn’t the cold, aloof Gamyoung inside the palace, nor was it the Gamyoung outside who smiled at her kindly. Precisely, it was hard to put into words, but it felt like he was holding something back…. That was when it happened.

“Come here.”

A suppressed voice leaked out, as if exhaling breath with difficulty. Her whole body was seized by it, unable to move. It was a sensation she had felt somewhere once before. As she groped through her memories for that unfamiliar yet clearly imprinted sensation in her body, she finally recalled it.

Yes, a tiger.

She couldn’t know why she thought that upon seeing Gamyoung, who had approached right up to her, but her state of mind standing before Gamyoung now had something similar to that time. Her whole body felt captured, unable to budge, and her heart was pounding. But if there was one difference from then….

“You just recovered from a cold not long ago, and you’ll catch another one.”

A calm but gentle voice whispered lowly in her ear. Following that, a thick silk overcoat with fur lining inside draped over her shoulders. The white, long fingers that meticulously tied even the waist sash had already thickened at the knuckles.

Hongyo silently gazed at Gamyoung while wearing the overcoat he had taken off for her. Beneath the lowered gaze as he tied the sash, his prominent nose bridge and facial lines now carried the bearing of a man, not a boy.

Hongyo stared at that face as if entranced, then suddenly their eyes met as Gamyoung lifted his head. The clear black pupils, distinct from the whites, were so deep in whatever thoughts they held. There had been times when she had faced Gamyoung even closer than this, but now it felt a bit different.

But she couldn’t explain exactly what that was. It was just that her throat tickled and her hair stood on end, so Hongyo couldn’t hold back and pushed Gamyoung’s shoulder away.

“Haha. It’s warm. Hahaha…. Th, thank you.”

At that, Gamyoung, who had yielded easily, tightly pressed his lips as if holding something back once more, then soon spoke.

“It’s cold, so make sure to dress properly. That’s why you keep catching colds, wandering around like that.”

It was his usual playful tone. At Gamyoung’s attitude, Hongyo inwardly thought it a relief, then deliberately laughed more to try to ease the awkwardness. In response, Gamyoung grinned back just as playfully, then suddenly let out a short “Ah” as if something had come to mind, and pulled something out from inside his bosom.

“I’m only giving this to you now. Congratulations on entering Hwayeong-gyeong.”

Hongyo looked at the silk pouch in Gamyoung’s palm. As Hongyo just stared, Gamyoung offered it again, so only then did she pick up the silk pouch.

“Can I look?”

At that, Gamyoung nodded as if he had been waiting, gazing at her with eyes full of anticipation. What on earth could it be to make him like that? Hongyo untied the silk pouch and took out the contents inside. What spilled into her palm was some kind of ornament. The first thing that caught her eye was the floral pattern engraved on the amber gem atop a long tassel. A norigae? But it was a bit shorter than a typical norigae. Then why this?

“What is this?”

“Give me your sword.”

At those words, Hongyo handed over the sword at her waist. Then Gamyoung, with a smile, said,

“Even for me, isn’t this a bit too trusting?”

“It’s a wooden sword anyway. And you wouldn’t harm me.”

Seemingly pleased by that answer, Gamyoung laughed out loud. Then he soon fiddled with the end of the hilt. Even as a wooden sword, it had a scabbard engraved with the Hwayeong-gyeong insignia, making it look similar to a real sword on the outside. Gamyoung, gripping the sword hilt, deftly attached the ornament to its end. With the ornament on the plain hilt tip, even the ordinary wooden sword took on the air of something crafted by an artisan. Seeing that, Hongyo let out a pure exclamation of admiration.

“So that’s why everyone had one hanging on their sword!”

Watching Hongyo take back the sword, Gamyoung said,

“Yeah. You’re a proper military officer now, so you should have at least one.”

Gamyoung smiled, watching Hongyo turn the sword this way and that, as he quite liked the ornament himself. He had worried she might refuse if it seemed too expensive, but her eyes sparkling made her so cute that he chuckled softly, and suddenly Hongyo gazed at him intently.

“Why.”

“Just. It’s been a while since I saw you smile.”

“…….”

“This side really is nicer to look at. Right?”

With that, she fiddled with the ornament at the sword hilt’s end.

“Thank you. Who else would give me something like this but you.”

Then she smiled brightly. Gamyoung nodded slowly, watching Hongyo smile at him.

“You know, that’s enough.”

But unlike the simple reply, his inner thoughts were complicated. This is troublesome. Just moments ago, it had been hard holding back the urge to embrace her, and he wondered how long he could keep this feeling from being discovered.

Having lived his whole life as a prince, all he had learned was to hide his true feelings and not reveal them. And Gamyoung managed to hide his inner self reasonably well from everyone except Kyungrak. But as with all things, there are exceptions.

“Hongyo-ya.”

As Gamyoung called her name, its owner lifted her head. Her pale-colored pupils, unlike his own deep black ones, revealed her inner self as it was. But he knew well that it wasn’t because they were pale that he could see all her inner self. It was simply because she was honest,

“Congratulations on first place.”

that she knew how to smile sincerely even at a single word like this,

“As a reward for first place, from now on, even if you’re not in Hwayeong-gyeong, I’ll keep you by my side wherever I go.”

“What? What kind of reward is that?”

and so his greed kept growing. Gamyoung smiled as brightly as Hongyo had earlier.

“At first, I didn’t really want this position, but now I’ve changed my mind. So you’ll have to keep helping me from now on.”

“You’re greedier than you look. At this rate, you’ll climb all the way to Grand General?”

Hongyo poked at Gamyoung’s side with the sword hilt end. At that, Gamyoung deliberately groaned in pain while annoyingly dodging nimbly. Teasing such a Hongyo, Gamyoung soon grabbed the wooden sword and carefully gripped the ornament he had gifted her.

“I just realized it myself. How greedy I am.”

“…….”

“I definitely tried to hide it to the end. If you don’t reveal it, no one can know what’s inside, right?”

But it’s not entirely my fault. Men born with the power of the dragon should rightfully take what they want.

As he unclenched his fist, the tassel on the ornament, different only in design from his own, slipped smoothly between his fingers.

“But it’s harder than I thought.”

Gamyoung lifted his head and looked straight at Hongyo. She wore a puzzled expression, as if she didn’t understand what he meant. Yet even in that, the innately perceptive Yeo Hongyo had her nerves on edge like a small animal sensing instinctive danger. Watching such a Hongyo, Gamyoung smiled playfully as usual, as if it were nothing. But the true feelings masked by that smile had a somewhat bitter edge somewhere.

“It’s cold. You go back to Hwayeong-gyeong first. I still have some things to discuss with those guys.”

Gamyoung turned away with an effortful smile. He hadn’t known that hiding his feelings would be this difficult. From the start, there hadn’t been enough greed to require hiding his inner self.

But the reason he couldn’t help but be this greedy surely had some share of responsibility on Hongyo’s part as well. It was Hongyo who had made him this way, after all.