Even My Life Is Yours Chapter 90

The office lights showed no sign of being turned off until late. Ever since Kyungrak’s visit not long ago, Gamyoung had been staying here even longer than usual. Ordinarily, he would have handed Jang Daeho over to the Ministry of Justice after finishing the interrogation at the Yukho Ttongsa, but with Kyungrak coming out like this, it would not be easy.

However, Gamyoung could not just let it end like this. If he let Jang Daeho go free again like this, there was no telling what kind of harm might be inflicted on Hongyo. He planned to pull it out by the roots this time so that he could never approach Hongyo again. But to do that, he had to oppose Kyungrak’s wishes. Disobeying an imperial order, however, could easily lead to treason. Therefore, for now, he had no choice but to keep pushing for a justification that could grant legitimacy to Jang Daeho’s punishment without disobeying the imperial order. Even if he fell out with Kyungrak in the process, it was a burden he had to bear to some extent.

For that reason, Gamyoung was preparing what was necessary for it. However, if there was one thing weighing on his mind, it was the worry of whether what he was doing right now was the result of being swayed too much by personal feelings. No matter the matter, there were those who blindly immersed themselves in it and were ultimately swallowed by it, losing even themselves. Gamyoung occasionally had doubts about whether his current state was just like that.

Looking at Jang Daeho’s ability and position alone, there was no room for doubt that he was an excellent prospect. However, if he used that power to threaten someone and put them in danger, it was meaningless no matter how good his qualities were. Unless such a person found a master capable of taming him, the threat was greater than the utility. A measly whipping that tore flesh away was merely enough to temporarily suppress that nature. Therefore, even after hearing Kyungrak’s words, Gamyoung had no intention of bending his stubbornness that he must hand him over to the Ministry of Justice to pay for his crimes.

If it were anyone else, he might have thought otherwise, but since that arrow was aimed at Hongyo, there was no other way. However, what he was doing to Jang Daeho right now was, as Kyungrak said, close to venting his anger. Even though he knew he was acting more severely than necessary, whenever he saw that face, he felt as though blood rushed to his head. Every time he recalled that Hongyo had almost lost her life because of a bastard like that, he wanted to drag Jang Daeho to the Forest of Vanishing Shadows right away and make him feel the exact same pain. He knew himself that this kind of thinking was by no means normal, but he couldn’t help it. Recalling Hongyo’s appearance that day, his heart still collapsed even now.

Therefore, even up to this hour, Gamyoung was looking at the Great Code of Won’guk, which contained the national laws of Won’guk, as if he were going to chew and swallow it. To at least confront the Emperor’s wishes, there was no choice but to base it on the law. Thus, whenever he had time, Gamyoung was thoroughly searching through not only the military laws but also the national laws.

It was then. A shadow fell outside the door. At an hour when no one but Jeonghwan would visit, Gamyoung thought the owner of that shadow would be Jeonghwan, but the height was a bit shorter than Jeonghwan’s. However, before he could even ask who it was, a voice he knew all too well was heard from outside the door.

“Director, My Lord. It is the Vice Inspector.”

No one visited here at this hour, but there was no telling if someone might be around. Hongyo raised her speech as if someone might hear. At that, instead of permission to enter from inside the room, footsteps were heard, and soon the door opened. Gamyoung, who threw the doors wide open on both sides, quickly swept his gaze across the hallway and immediately grabbed Hongyo’s wrist, pulling her in. Soon, the door closed behind Hongyo’s back.

“What were you doing instead of going into the dormitory until this hour?”

It was a tone that seemed to rebuke her at first glance, but the face looking down at her held worry that could not be hidden. Hongyo looked up at such a Gamyoung and replied,

“I was with the Inspector, My Lord.”

At that, for some unknown reason, Gamyoung’s face stiffened.

“Why? If it’s because of work, I instructed that it be allocated to a minimum for the time being.”

“It’s not that…”

Hongyo, letting her words trail off, avoided Gamyoung’s gaze.

“Because I’m anxious when I’m alone.”

“……”

“I don’t have the memory, but strangely, it feels like someone is watching me.”

She had the memory up until entering the Forest of Vanishing Shadows, but when she tried to recall what happened after that, it was blurry as if covered in fog. Nevertheless, she could not explain for what reason her neck felt chilly and her body froze just by recalling that day. Gamyoung, who lost his words for a moment, wore an expression that looked even more pained than hers.

“If it’s something like that, you should have come to find me instead. No, it would be better to take some rest this time.”

Hongyo quietly stared at Gamyoung. Gamyoung at times like this was truly so gentle that it made her feel like acting like a spoiled child. Since Gamyoung had always been by her side no matter what she did or what happened ever since they were young, it wasn’t strange to feel that way when she became this helpless. However, there was something she absolutely had to ask today.

“Jang Daeho, whom I saw in the dungeon. Did you do that?”

Hongyo, who subtly slipped her wrist out of the hand that had been holding it until now, looked up at Gamyoung. As what was held in his hand slipped away, Gamyoung glanced down, then looked at Hongyo again. She was asking a question, but her gaze looked as though she already knew the answer. Yet, if she was asking…

‘Does she want to hear an answer saying that I wasn’t the one who did it?’

Yeo Hongyo had a tender heart and a corner that wasn’t ruthless, so it was highly likely she would show mercy even to the one who pushed her into the forest. However, it must not be let go smoothly this time. Gamyoung nodded instead of the answer Hongyo wanted to hear.

“Yes. I did it. Since punishing what occurred within Hwayeong is primarily for Director Hwayeong to do.”

“I know. But to call it a punishment, that is…”

No matter how much it was an interrogation, the sight she saw that day was close to torture. Of course, they said punishments were also inflicted to draw out confessions during the interrogation process, but if that Jang Daeho looked like a rag… Over Hongyo’s head as she dropped her gaze, Gamyoung’s voice was heard.

“Since he doesn’t cooperate with the interrogation, I merely treated him accordingly.”

Since that side acted like a beast, this side merely treated him like a beast. That Jang Daeho did not cooperate with the interrogation was half true and half false. Right after being transferred to the Yukho Ttongsa, Jang Daeho obediently confessed the things he had done. The reason Gamyoung, who had been listening to that process calmly with an unwavering attitude, locked Jang Daeho in the dungeon was when he asked the reason for committing such an act.

‘Because I had to see the final match. Before that, Yeo Hongyo won once, and I won once.’

The smirking Jang Daeho said to Gamyoung, who still didn’t understand,

‘Do you know what’s amusing about that fellow? The tiny thing keeps jumping at me without fear, making me pissed off. If he had obediently offered his pouch like the other guys on the first day, it wouldn’t have come to this. The audacious thing trips me up and what he says is that he won. So, I have to deal with him.’

The sneering Jang Daeho continued his words.

‘As you know, a game is best out of three, isn’t it? Since it became a tie with me letting him off once during the Martial Arts Examination, this time I truly had to see the match. I also wanted to see him bow that stiff head of his this time. It’s truly fun to discipline those kinds of fellows once in a while.’

For just that kind of reason that didn’t even make sense… Thinking about it now, Kyungrak’s words that it was venting anger were right. Having continued the interrogation when there was nothing more to draw a confession for could not be explained by anything other than venting anger. When he fainted, they poured water to wake him, and when he applied the whip again to the place where flesh had already fallen off, he himself was not in his right mind either. However, Gamyoung still had no intention of stopping the interrogation.

“So, if by any chance you are going to tell me to stop out of pity for Jang Daeho, it is useless.”

Since Jang Daeho was merely rightfully paying for his crime. Hongyo faced Gamyoung, who was looking at her with cold eyes, and opened her mouth.

“It’s not that. Gamyoung. I am…”

She had not come here out of mere worry for Jang Daeho.

“It might be selfish, but I wish you would ultimately remain as the Gamyoung I know.”

At the unexpected answer, Gamyoung’s eyes widened slightly. When Gamyoung remained silent, Hongyo, who bowed her head, muttered,

“Whether you are a member of the Imperial Family or not doesn’t matter at all. Whatever your status is, there is no change to the fact that you are Cha Gamyoung. I also understand that you pretended not to know me here. Because if it’s you, you would have done so out of consideration for me. But the you I saw in the dungeon back then…”

“…….”

“Felt like a completely different person.”

Hongyo bit her lip, as if it were difficult to continue her words. No matter how much Jang Daeho had committed a capital crime, the appearance of Gamyoung, who acted so calmly even when a person had become in such a state, gave her goosebumps even thinking about it now. That unfamiliar feeling that seemed as though he wasn’t Gamyoung even though he had Gamyoung’s face could by no means become familiar.

Hongyo barely managed to lift her head. It was certainly a face so familiar that she could draw it even with her eyes closed, but the playful and warm gaze was nowhere to be found. Seeing that, Hongyo was intimidated in advance. Whatever Gamyoung was thinking right now, his intention looked far too obstinate.

Is it that Kyungrak is like that too, and members of the Imperial Family originally have this kind of side to them? If not, did I make Gamyoung become like this? No, if I hadn’t entered the forest in the first place that day, Gamyoung wouldn’t have had to do this kind of thing. It was the fault of neither of the two, but it seemed when the body weakened, the mind also weakened. Hongyo, who was trying to say something, couldn’t think of anything in her head as to what she should say. A difficult and unfamiliar, yet sad and at the same time fearful feeling mixed together, preventing the words from coming out.

Gamyoung just looked at such a Hongyo without a word for a while. It wasn’t that he didn’t know what Hongyo wanted to say. Since his appearance that day was unfamiliar even to himself. However, Gamyoung did not want to easily grant Hongyo’s wish. He could grant everything else, but playing tricks with Hongyo’s life could by no means be tolerated.

Therefore, making him stop here was entirely Hongyo’s part. It was a matter only Hongyo could do. Thus, Gamyoung did not easily speak Hongyo’s wish instead.

“What do you intend to do with Jang Daeho?”

“I will punish him according to national law.”

Since he pushed you to go to that forest, I intend to make sure he can never draw a bowstring again. Gamyoung did not add the last sentence, but he truly intended to do so. However, as always, Hongyo knew him best, both then and now.

“Gamyoung. If by any chance you are doing this because of me, can’t you stop here?”

Even though she couldn’t read his thoughts, it was unknown from where Hongyo had seen his true heart. Her eyes gradually turned red, and Hongyo ultimately stopped her words. A silence flowed for a while, and eventually, Hongyo, who composed her breathing, looked straight at Gamyoung.

“Because I’m scared that I might end up losing you like this.”