Even My Life Is Yours Chapter 91

“I greet Your Imperial Majesty.”

“Please ease your posture, Brother.”

Kyungrak exchanged greetings with his biological older brother, whom he hadn’t seen in a long time. Since the First Prince, the late Emperor’s eldest son, was said to have passed away before he was even born, the man standing before him now was his only older sibling. Back when they were in the imperial palace together, Inyong had been the Second Prince, but after Kyungrak ascended the throne, he received the title of Prince and left the imperial palace to attend to their father, the late Emperor.

“Is the Imin Pavilion comfortable for you to stay in?”

“Thanks to Your Majesty’s care, I am doing well.”

Inyong, who chuckled softly, seemed no different from when he was in the imperial palace. Judging by the order of birth, it would have been natural for Inyong, the Second Prince, to ascend the throne, but the major reason Kyungrak became Emperor anyway was because of this easygoing personality of his. To put it nicely, it meant he was unpretentious and lacked greed, but to put it differently, he was weak and timid. Even now that his brother had become Prince Sun, Kyungrak saw him subtly avoiding his gaze and felt that he hadn’t changed much from the days when they used to play hide-and-seek in their childhood.

However, unlike back then, Inyong now had to use honorific speech to Kyungrak. Such was the nature of being the most noble person in the world, a position where everyone had no choice but to show utmost respect. Yet, even for Kyungrak, there was someone to whom he had to show respect, and that was his father, the late Emperor.

“How is Imperial Father doing these days?”

At that, Inyong’s face immediately darkened. That the late Emperor’s health would fail was already a foregone conclusion ever since Kyungrak inherited the power through the Dragon Descent Ritual. Unlike the priestesses who could use the power as soon as it manifested, the men of the imperial family born with the dragon’s power were like vessels holding that power. Therefore, the only male of the imperial family who could fully use the power contained within the vessel was the Emperor.

Consequently, when another male of the imperial family took over the dragon’s power, the condition of the person who originally held that power was bound to deteriorate rapidly. Thus, it was customary for one of the children to ascend the throne as Emperor through the Dragon Descent Ritual after the reigning Emperor passed away, but the late Emperor had handed over the throne to Kyungrak on the grounds that he no longer had any desire to rule the country. It was a highly unusual occurrence; at the time, not to mention the princes including Kyungrak, even the officials opposed it for months, but the Emperor’s will was obstinate.

“It would be better for you to see him in person.”

Leading Kyungrak to a certain room, Inyong bowed to show his respect and then walked back the way he came. Kyungrak watched his brother for a moment before turning his head to look at the door. The wooden door, which looked no different from the door of any ordinary pavilion, seemed small and mundane for an Emperor who once ruled the nation to reside in, but this too was the late Emperor’s choice. Kyungrak stood before the door for a while, and then quietly opened it.

“Kyungrak has come to see Imperial Father.”

The reason Kyungrak made the journey all the way to the Imin Pavilion, which was quite far outside the imperial palace, was to meet the late Emperor. While his ostensible reason was to check on his father’s health out of filial duty, the truth was that he had something he wanted to ask. However, seeing his father, whose condition looked even worse than expected, Kyungrak did not feel good at all. Lying on the bed and staring only at the ceiling, entirely unaware that he had entered, not a single trace of vitality could be found in the late Emperor.

Kyungrak watched the late Emperor before pulling up a chair to sit by his side. Only then did the late Emperor barely turn his head, recognizing Kyungrak, and spoke.

“Why has the Emperor come here at this hour without even tending to state affairs?”

The sun had long since set, so it was far too late an hour to attend to state affairs. However, Kyungrak did not bother to mention that fact.

“As a son, when I hear that my parent is unwell, wouldn’t every second be urgent? Since excellent officials are by my side, you do not need to worry.”

As Kyungrak offered a subtle smile, the late Emperor, who had been staring intently at him, slowly sat up. Even that seemed difficult for him to do without Kyungrak’s support. The eyes of the late Emperor, who managed to sit on the bed with difficulty, were dim. At one time, they were eyes that shone blue whenever he wielded the dragon’s power. But now, having lost that light, they merely gazed quietly at Kyungrak.

“Yes. I knew you would come around this time. What is it that you wish to ask?”

No matter how much light they had lost, an Emperor was still an Emperor. Looking into those quiet eyes, Kyungrak slowly opened his mouth.

“I intend to receive the Grand Oracle Ritual.”

His tone was prudent and cautious. The late Emperor spoke.

“That means your mind is made up.”

Kyungrak said nothing, but his resolve was already clear from his gaze alone. The late Emperor watched him and slowly continued.

“You have always wished for the imperial authority to be stronger than it is now. Has that thought still not changed?”

At those words, Kyungrak spoke with some difficulty.

“Your son merely wishes for this country to become wealthier and more powerful.”

“A wealthy and powerful country does not necessarily require the imperial authority to be strong.”

“But the stronger the imperial authority, the easier it will be to firmly establish the nation’s foundation and expand it.”

It was a conversation without an inch of compromise.

“So, what is it that you want to ask me?”

Only then did Kyungrak ask, his face looking as if he had been waiting only for this moment.

“I heard that Imperial Father went so far as to instigate the Revolt of the Princes because you desired to become Emperor—all to fulfill the wish of unifying the entire continent under Won’guk.”

“…….”

“Yet, why did you abandon that ambition?”

In the past, he would have demanded to know who conveyed such words, sought out the one who spread them, and held them accountable, but his counterpart was now the Emperor, not just his son. Since there was nothing the Emperor could not discover if he set his mind to it, the fact that Kyungrak brought up such a matter meant he already knew the circumstances to some extent.

Staring into empty space for a moment, the late Emperor could not find his words for a long while. Kyungrak patiently waited for his father. And when the late Emperor finally spoke, his voice was heavily subdued.

“You must know as well. That Inyong was not your only older brother.”

Kyungrak nodded. The reason Inyong was not the First Prince was because there was a son born before him. Although he had passed away at a young age and Kyungrak had never seen him, he was the first child whom the late Emperor had cherished as dearly as his own life.

“The Dragon God took that child as the price for giving me the throne.”

His voice rasped like scraping metal as he spoke, as if in pain. Although a very long time had already passed, the pain of losing a child does not completely vanish with the passage of time. The void left behind, measuring exactly that much, could never be filled no matter how many other children were born. However, Kyungrak, who had never even met the First Prince, could only guess at that pain.

“If you ask for something from the Dragon God, you must pay a price. The greater the grand cause, the more precious the thing He takes away. That is why I stopped. Because after my first child, I did not want to lose anything else. Once I realized that the more I tried to possess, the more I was bound to lose, I had no choice but to stop.”

The late Emperor felt his heart wrenching even now just thinking about that time. He could not lose anything more precious due to the greed harbored by someone who lacked the capacity for it.

However, unlike the late Emperor, Kyungrak felt a bit empty. To think that the question he had harbored for so long was merely due to a desire not to lose anything precious anymore. The pain of losing a child was likely something he could not dare fathom. Yet, wasn’t the grand cause harbored for the country important as well? If creating a wealthy and powerful nation meant giving more to the people, couldn’t that also be viewed as a sacrifice rather than a price? An Emperor, after all, was supposed to see the larger forest rather than the tree right in front of him.

Yet, he had absolutely no intention of paying a price or making a sacrifice.

“Then, rather than serving Him, is it not a matter of simply commanding Him?”

At those words, the late Emperor’s dim eyes flew wide open. His eyes, widened as if he had seen something utterly terrifying, were filled with shock without him even speaking.

“What on earth do you mean by…”

“Though He is called the Dragon God, it is a relationship formed by a covenant. If He takes a price because of a contract, is it not a matter of simply establishing that contract anew?”

The late Emperor stared at Kyungrak with a dumbfounded expression.

“Since when was a covenant with the Dragon God something that could be changed so easily? By what earthly means do you intend to re-establish a covenant with the Dragon God?”

Kyungrak looked at the late Emperor and said.

“You said the dragon takes something precious as the price for granting a wish. If so, then the dragon must have at least one such thing as well. Surely, living for thousands of years, could He possibly not have even one such thing?”

At that moment, the late Emperor’s face hardened as stiff as stone.

“I do not know what you are talking about right now. Do you honestly think the Dragon God would have such a thing?”

However, a trembling tone mixed here and there within his coldly subdued voice carried a fear that could not be hidden.

‘It seems there really is something.’

This was enough. Kyungrak stood up from his seat after looking at the late Emperor. Even if he questioned him further, it didn’t seem like his father would answer. Looking at his current state, it seemed better to find out the one remaining thing he was most curious about on his own. It wasn’t an entirely satisfying conversation, but he had gained what he needed to gain. Kyungrak bowed to show his respect to the late Emperor.

“I shall take my leave now. Please preserve your imperial health.”

And just as he was turning his back, the grip on his sleeve was remarkably strong, raising the question of where such strength came from. When Kyungrak looked back, the late Emperor said, unable to even hide his look of dread.

“Even now, it is not too late. Do not provoke the Dragon God any further.”

In his fear-stricken eyes, even the intelligence that had faintly remained was completely gone. Kyungrak stared intently at his father, then soon grabbed that wrinkled hand and coldly pried it away.

“I am afraid that Imperial Mother might see you like this. Please, maintain your dignity as the late Emperor until the very end.”

Straightening his clothes, Kyungrak stepped out of the room. There, the Empress Dowager, who had brought the herbal medicine herself, was standing before the door. Kyungrak greeted his mother, whom he hadn’t seen in a long time. However, the Empress Dowager, who looked exactly like Kyungrak, merely spoke with a frosty face.

“No matter how he is now, he is a person who was once the Emperor. Next time you visit, show more respect.”

With that, she straightened her back and stepped into the room as if nothing had happened. Kyungrak, who stepped aside to give her room, soon boarded his palanquin. He then opened the window slightly and gestured. At that, the Chief Royal Secretary, who was waiting nearby, quickly brought his ear close.

“Proceed with the Grand Oracle Ritual as scheduled.”

This was two months before Hongyo entered the Forest of Vanishing Shadows.