Humanity Chapter 2.2 - First Love

A low laugh erupted from within Han Jiwan’s throat.

“I was just going to give you a kiss before I left because I didn’t have time, but you’re seducing me like this. Aren’t you being too forward? Shoving your butt right in my face.”

“You fuc….”

A curse almost slipped out. Yimyeong bit his lip hard.

“This won’t do. Let’s do it before I go.”

Shoving his thumb deep into the reasonably loosened hole, Han Jiwan stood up.

“Huh? I’ll finish quickly. Give me some gel.”

He was acting like he was about to leave.

Yimyeong shuddered, but still fumbled his hand over the sink and picked up the gel. If he refused the request out of a meaningless sense of defiance, it was obvious that Han Jiwan would even cancel his outing and stay home to torment him. It was because he was not the type to stop just because he was told not to.

After squirting a line of gel onto his back, Han Jiwan immediately pushed his fingers into the hole. He pretended to stretch it moderately with three or four fingers for a moment, then without warning, something long and thick dug deep inside.

“Heok…!”

The first penetration was so deep it felt like his breath was cut off. Yimyeong’s waist, which had been barely holding on by gripping the sink, collapsed in that moment.

“As expected, heok, you pretend you don’t, but you like it rough.”

“Mmm. Heut…. Euk, heueuk….”

After that, Han Jiwan, even sweating, focused on penetrating in silence. It seemed it was true that he did not have much time, as a series of intense thrusts aimed only at reaching orgasm continued. The grip of both hands holding his waist tight was considerable. There would be handprints again. Pain also spread where his pelvic bone hit and scraped against the marble sink. Yimyeong endured, supporting his upper body with his veiny elbows.

Jjigeok jjigeok, only the sound of the clotted gel melting and becoming slick echoed in the bathroom. Yimyeong briefly lifted his eyes. In the mirror, he saw his disheveled self and Han Jiwan, with his belt undone and only his zipper down. Han Jiwan, shaking his hips violently, and his own self, bent over the sink, groaning softly and just taking him.

Even though he was seeing it with his own eyes, it was an unreal scene that was hard to believe. Yimyeong squeezed his eyes shut and leaned his forehead on his arm.

“I’m coming inside, okay?”

The encounter ended quickly, in less than five minutes. The feeling of his insides swelling with semen along with Han Jiwan’s low groan was terrible. When he pulled out his cock, semen oozed out from the still-unclosed hole. Even after cumming a lot, as if he still had some left, Han Jiwan rubbed the remaining semen on Yimyeong’s exposed back, jerking off a final time.

“I want to ask you to clean it up with your mouth, but you’re so bad at fellatio, hyung….”

“…….”

Yimyeong, with a tired face, only took small breaths.

“And I don’t think I’ll make it on time if I get it.”

Han Jiwan checked his watch and gave up cleanly. He wiped the semen from his penis with a wet wipe and washed his hands next to the disheveled Yimyeong.

“If you keep what I put inside you until I get back, without taking it out, I’ll give you thirty million.”

I wouldn’t take that measly thirty million. Yimyeong thought to himself, so fed up that he felt a surge of anger.

“Hyung, by the way. The fact that you won’t tell me about your first time. Is it because you played around promiscuously? Like you don’t even remember who your first was.”

Yimyeong said nothing. He did not feel it was worth replying to.

“…I don’t care either way, though.”

“…….”

“I think the ones who play around well are sexy too.”

He tried not to care, but Yimyeong’s insides were secretly in turmoil. Last night he said he liked the boring type, and now he says he does not care if he is promiscuous. He had tried to deviate from his tastes, but the problem was that Han Jiwan was an omnivore.

On the sink where Han Jiwan had washed his hands and stepped away, Yimyeong picked up his toothbrush again. Finishing what he was doing was an unconscious insistence that he was fine even after being treated like this. As he squeezed toothpaste onto the toothbrush that had fallen and rolled around during the brushing, Han Jiwan abruptly stuck his face in.

“Give me a kiss to wish me well.”

Yimyeong flinched back without realizing it. No matter how much he had rinsed with water, he felt a sense of repulsion knowing what those lips had just sucked.

“…Go quickly. You said you were late.”

“Keukeuk….”

Han Jiwan, grinning, kissed the nape of his neck instead of his lips. As if he had expected this reaction from Yimyeong, he seemed pleased.

“I’ll be back.”

After Han Jiwan, who had neatly styled his hair, left, Yimyeong threw his toothbrush into the sink.

Brushing his teeth was not the problem. He had to take a whole new shower.

“Annoying bastard.”

‧₊˚

When Yimyeong came out after washing up, an alarm went off on the phone that was on the bed. Yimyeong, who approached while drying his hair, confirmed that an alarm had come.

[XX Bank 12/07 09:13
Deposit 10,000,000 won
Han Jiwan]

It was the deposit Han Jiwan had just made.

Yimyeong did not look at the amount closely and threw the phone back onto the bed.

Apart from promising to pay off his debt, Han Jiwan was paying a small amount of money by his own standards for each sexual encounter with Yimyeong. He had not calculated the exact amount, but Yimyeong knew that the amount was different each time. It was as if he was pricing the satisfaction of the sex with money.

Yimyeong thought this method was very much like him, and very vile. It was a very nasty method, possible only if one thought of the other person not as a human but as an object.

So, from a certain point on, Yimyeong stopped paying attention to the amount itself. If he looked at the amount each time and pondered the reason for the pricing, he would instead get caught up in Han Jiwan’s methods. If it was small, he would be anxious to match his employer’s preferences and intentions, and if it was large, he would be the same.

But if he thought about it carefully, whether he was satisfied with the sex or not, it had nothing to do with him. It was something that was happening with his own body, but Yimyeong drew a clear line.

He could check his bank account after he left this place. He would use it all to pay off his debts anyway.

After changing his clothes, Yimyeong went down to the first floor of the mansion through the annex stairs. This mansion had more people guarding it than its owner. Yimyeong, who did not want to be seen by others even when Han Jiwan was not around, mainly moved through the annex.

It was when he reached the glass corridor connecting the annex and the main building. Yimyeong sensed the murmur of voices and stopped silently in his tracks.

“I’ve only met Chairman Han once, and he looked more like his grandson than his son.”

“Oh, you’ve met him? I thought he never came here at all.”

“He dropped by for a moment when he came to the gallery. I saw him then.”

‘Chairman Han’ was a reference to Han Jiwan’s father.

Yimyeong quietly leaned against the corridor and crossed his arms. He did not want to disturb the people who were gathered for a break.

While waiting for them to finish their conversation, Yimyeong looked at the employees through their reflections in the glass window on the opposite side.

Although he did not usually have a chance to talk to them, Yimyeong knew the faces of the people working in this house well. Among them, a young man and another woman stood out. They were new faces who had entered this house after Yimyeong. The man was the garage manager, and he still did not know what the woman did.

The employees of this house were replaced frequently. Han Jiwan was very particular about managing his private life, so if there was anyone who caused even the slightest trouble, he would quickly let them go and fill the position with new people.

Anyway, it seemed that the existing people were sharing information about the owner of this mansion with the newcomers.

“I’ve been working here for a year, but I’ve never seen Chairman Han once. They have so little contact that at first I thought the father and son had a bad relationship. I thought he was a disowned son.”

“But it turned out to be the opposite. He had a youngest son late in life and doted on him so much that he built that art museum for him to live as he pleased. He laundered his identity with money because he didn’t want his precious son to be treated like a gangster.”

“A gangster… sir?”

The youthful face of the new garage manager was tinged with anxiety.

“It’s common. They run legitimate businesses in the open with money earned in the shadows, and collect art to launder money.”

Yimyeong, who was looking down askance with his arms crossed, frowned. It was slightly different from what he knew.

It was true that Han Jiwan’s gallery was built for the distribution of black money in the first place, and that the source of most of the money used to purchase the exhibited artworks was illegal. It was also true that he was deeply loved by his father as the youngest son born to a concubine late in life.

On the other hand, there was other information.

Han Jiwan had said that his father was not a mere gangster but an arms dealer. It was surprising that the profession of an arms dealer actually existed, but perhaps because it was a world he did not know, it did not feel real. It just made the very suspicious source of wealth, which was too much to be considered just a silver spoon, a little more understandable.

The problem was not what was true, but….

Yimyeong felt a sense of unease. If what he told me was a lie and it was just to bluff, then that would be a relief, but what if it was true? Why would he tell me, in detail, information that he even glossed over for his employees?

He just hated the idea of Han Jiwan being honest with him more.

“Don’t worry. We just have to mind our own business and do our jobs well. I’ve worked here for three years, and there’s never been any strange incidents or fights because he’s a gangster.”

“That’s a relief, but….”

“By the way, who is that person upstairs? He was really handsome. Is he a relative?”

“Don’t pay any attention to that one.”

Shh, one of them hurriedly brought a hand to their lips.

“Don’t even talk about it, and don’t be curious. It’s no good for you to know.”

“Didn’t you hear when you first came here? They told you not to mix words with him at all.”

“Yes? Yes….”

The two newcomers, a man and a woman, looked at each other with disgruntled expressions.

As expected, it was impossible for them not to talk about him. Yimyeong’s chest lightly swelled with a silent sigh and then deflated.

It felt strange to be treated as something that should not be touched, even more so than the owner of the house, Han Jiwan.

Yimyeong moistened his dry lips a little and started walking again. To stop the uncomfortable conversation, the most effective way was for the subject of the conversation to appear.

Sure enough, as soon as the gathered employees sensed Yimyeong’s presence, they glanced at him and disappeared into the small room where they stayed.

“Hoo….”

Left alone, Yimyeong plopped down at the wide dining table and let out a long sigh.

There was a time when he could not bear the thought of what they thought of him. But after staying a little longer, he came to think that it was reasonable for people to treat him as if he did not exist, and that it was better that way. There must have been more than one or two men who had stayed here in this way. It would be better if he too were remembered as one of the countless men who had passed through this place.

Yimyeong came to know by chance that Han Jiwan did not even properly remember the names of the men he had previously kept as lovers. It was perhaps natural, given that he changed men every three months on average. As easily as he took them, he did not obsess over them, and since he did not treat them as human beings, there was no way he would have any lingering attachments.

If that’s the case, then that’s a relief.

Yimyeong had a small hope. That it would be the same for him… that he would soon be forgotten once he got tired of him.

That was precisely why he was rather grateful that Han Jiwan’s lackeys treated him like an invisible man.

I just have to live like a non-existent person like this, and be forgotten in a few months.

In this way, Yimyeong rationalized the reason for staying here. While he gained freedom—the chains on his ankles were released, he was allowed a phone, and he could wander around the mansion as if it were his own home—on the contrary, he felt a sense of powerlessness as a human being. He tried to resolve the inexpressible gloom with self-rationalization.

The food set on the dining table was still warm. Picking up his chopsticks, Yimyeong focused on his meal to appease his hunger without any thought. As he was pushing food into his mouth with a blank expression, he turned on the small television in the dining room. The silence of the mansion, even with all the employees, was so chillingly 싫었다.

As soon as the screen came to life, a screen of brilliant colors poured out. The shimmering blue surface of the water filled the screen with a vivid color.

Yimyeong’s chewing jaw slowed down without him realizing it. It was the season. The Olympic season. A boisterous vitality was transmitted from beyond the screen.

Even while Yimyeong was trapped here, the outside world was spinning energetically. In that gap, Yimyeong felt a very strange feeling.

—Coming up next is the diving 10m platform semi-final, with a South Korean athlete competing. He advanced to the semi-finals with a good result of 3rd place in the preliminaries….

The commentator’s voice was heard against the backdrop of a swimming pool echoing with the sound of water and echoes. Yimyeong’s gaze was fixed on the screen. The face in the camera angle that the screen was persistently following was a face that Yimyeong also knew well.

—Athlete Kwon Seolyoung. This is his second time on the Olympic stage in his life. Will he be able to aim for a medal this time?

In an instant, the remnants of a forgotten dream came rushing back to life.

Last night, Yimyeong had dreamed of Kwon Seolyoung.

‧₊˚

A blue car with a smooth, streamlined body slid into the brightly lit garage. The doors opened like wings on either side of the low car body.

The one who emerged from it was Han Jiwan in a suit.

His appearance, which he inherited from his mother, had refined and elegant lines that were unimaginable to have been cultivated in the shadows. His tall, slender body and dewy, moist skin made him look just like a well-bred young master.

Of course, what he inherited from his mother was only his appearance. The part of him that was not satisfied until he got what he wanted, and used even people as a means to that end, was inherited from his father.

“Catch.”

Han Jiwan threw the car keys into the air without looking. Leaving the garage manager who scrambled to catch them behind, he walked towards the mansion with light steps.

His mansion in Pyeongchang-dong, nestled at the foot of Bukhansan Mountain, was not far from the gallery he owned. The two buildings, commissioned from the same architect, were like twins. Beyond the high wall where even the entrance was hard to find, a building buried like a part of the mountain, hidden by tall evergreen trees, appeared. The dense green forest was reflected in the full-length window on the front.

Han Jiwan, who came up the stairs leading from the garage, crossed the garden. The small lights embedded in the green lawn were like stars scattered on the ground. The fresh smell of wet grass seemed to further enhance the freshness of the night.

Without realizing it, Han Jiwan hummed a song softly. It was the Olympic song. These days, it was the Olympic season, so it was not difficult to hear this song just by turning on the television. Musing over the music that had been imprinted on his mind without his knowledge, he stepped on each of the stone tiles one by one.

Recently, the way back home had become very enjoyable. It was because a treasure he had recently acquired was very much to his liking. A beautiful man was rare in itself, but the man he had found this time even had scarcity value.

“You’ve returned.”

The ones who came out to greet him were the butler and a housekeeper. Han Jiwan nodded with a smiling face.

“What did that hyung do today?”

When he asked, pointing upstairs, they began to report Yimyeong’s daily routine as they had prepared.

“He came out of the bedroom an hour after you left.”

“And he had breakfast right away, but the time was a bit late, so he didn’t eat lunch. He ate the side dishes evenly, but he didn’t touch the seafood.”

Han Jiwan snatched the memo pad that the housekeeper was holding and checked the contents.

“He’s a picky eater too. How cute.”

“He might have an allergy, so it would be good to check once.”

Okay, Han Jiwan nodded in response. He strictly controlled even his employees from mixing words with his men. Even if those who looked after the lover’s daily routine were by his side all day long in Han Jiwan’s place, it was decided that all communication would go through him.

“He exercised in the gym for about an hour, and after that, he sat in that spot in the living room and watched TV straight through.”

“When did he go up?”

“It wasn’t long ago. He was sitting here watching TV almost until right before you arrived.”

“For that long? That’s unusual. What did he watch?”

Han Jiwan muttered to himself and turned on the television. Yimyeong was not the type to enjoy watching television usually. He was very curious about what he had watched.

What came out of the screen was a sports channel. It happened to be rebroadcasting the highlights of today’s Olympic events. It was natural since it was the season. Whichever channel he turned on, it was an Olympic broadcast.

Han Jiwan, who had turned off the television again, shifted his gaze to the memo.

“He ate two slices of cake?”

At the unexpected fact, Han Jiwan let out a small laugh to himself. The housekeeper nodded and added that was why he had eaten a smaller portion for dinner.

“If he likes cake that much, he should have asked me to buy some….”

Muttering, Han Jiwan crossed the living room and headed for the stairs. The employees bowed in unison.

“Good night.”

Han Jiwan brushed past them, grumbling.

“He doesn’t know how to ask. Really. He never asks for anything.”

Going up the stairs made of wood and glass railings, a long corridor that penetrated the second floor appeared. The study was right in front, and across the central courtyard was Han Jiwan’s bedroom.

The 5m-tall green bamboo planted in the courtyard boasted a vivid green light under the illumination of the 24-hour tree lights. The leaves of the bamboo rustled, sageuk sageuk, in the wind that flowed in through the slightly open window.

Han Jiwan was lost in thought. The pale moonlight shone through the sky window in the corridor ceiling. Han Jiwan’s shadow, with his back to the moonlight, was cast long in the corridor.

Is he really satisfied with just receiving money?

He had already paid Yimyeong an amount of money that he could never earn through labor in his lifetime. But to Han Jiwan’s sense, who paid tens of billions for a painting he wanted, it was still a small sum.

The men he had kept as lovers until now had shown various reactions to money. There were those who rebelled like mad dogs but soon became obedient after getting a taste of money, and there were disgusting ones who changed their attitude and acted fake, thinking of making a quick buck. The appearances they showed were diverse, but he would soon lose interest after seeing the human flock who, for the most part, volunteered to be male prostitutes.

But Yimyeong showed no reaction at all. At first, he seemed to show a variety of expressions, but now he was calm no matter what he did, as if he had attained enlightenment about the world.

Could it be that my sex is boring?

It should be more interesting than the Olympics, thinking that, Han Jiwan opened the door. The doorknob turned smoothly, and through the open gap, the scene of the room was visible.

He had filled this space with an obsessive white. So that the stains of semen and sweat would be unconditionally noticeable. The flaws that dirtied a clean space were also one of the things that Han Jiwan, with his perverted aesthetic sense, loved.

Just then, Yimyeong was lying with his back to him in the freshly laundered white bedding.

Han Jiwan approached him. He kissed his ear and whispered in a small voice.

“Hyung. Do you like cake? You ate two slices, I heard.”

At those words, Yimyeong slowly opened his eyes. Even though he knew his private life was being reported, Yimyeong rarely showed a reaction of refusal. His rebellion had been thrilling, but his obedient side was not bad either.

“I know a lot of good places. I’ll buy you some next time.”

“…Okay.”

Han Jiwan noticed that the phone was placed near Yimyeong’s head. When he picked it up, a warm heat still lingered. This meant he had put down the phone upon hearing him coming.

Pretending to be asleep, how cute….

Han Jiwan familiarly opened the phone and began his inspection. Call history, sent and received messages, internet search history, and also….

“Why did you search for so many videos of naked men?”

“…….”

“I’m getting jealous…?”

It seemed Yimyeong had been looking up Olympic broadcasts all day. Upon closer inspection, records of him watching Olympic videos on YouTube also remained.

Only then did Yimyeong slowly turn to look at Han Jiwan.

“Naked men, you say.”

“You’ve looked up a ton of videos of men in swimsuits.”

For some reason, irritation welled up, and Han Jiwan carelessly tossed the phone aside. Yimyeong replied in a calm voice.

“It’s not like that.”

“Of course it is.”

“I’ve always had a hobby of watching… diving.”

Regardless of what Yimyeong said, Han Jiwan took off his jacket, loosened his tie, and climbed on top of Yimyeong. When he held his warm cheek and kissed him forcefully, his dry lips naturally parted. Unlike his slightly dry lips, the tongue inside was always soft and moist.

“Oh, right. I’ve been told I look like Kwon Seolyoung a few times.”

“…….”

“What do you think? From your point of view.”

Han Jiwan asked, pointing to his own face. Yimyeong did not answer. Looking at his impassive face, it seemed he did not even know who Kwon Seolyoung was.

While savoring his lower lip, which he had lightly bitten, Han Jiwan lifted one of Yimyeong’s legs with his arm. When he tried to position himself between his legs, as if he had read his intention, Yimyeong spread his own legs to make a gap.

Catching sight of that, Han Jiwan held Yimyeong’s firm legs and laughed low for a moment. Yimyeong was looking up at him with a face that seemed to ask, ‘Why all of a sudden?’

“It’s nothing.”

Han Jiwan answered cleanly. He did not want to tell him to look at himself, how he was spreading his legs on his own and offering his lips indifferently, to see for himself how tamed he had become in such a short time. If he told him, he would definitely be conscious of it from the next time on.

Of course, it was probably just that he was not wasting useless energy, knowing that Han Jiwan would do it one way or another when he wanted to….

The fact that he had tamed a stiff man this much felt good. Han Jiwan’s eyes curved as he smiled.

“Hyung, I’m good at swimming too.”

“…….”

“Should we go play in the water sometime?”

Saying that, Han Jiwan slipped his hand inside Yimyeong’s clothes. The smooth surface of the elastic skin felt good. The texture of the skin, which had a subtle sheen even in the moonlight, always seemed to be slightly moist, unlike his dry lips.

He did not know if this was a characteristic that all Omegas had, or if Yimyeong was just like that, but he loved it like crazy. Han Jiwan spread his hand wide and rolled it around Yimyeong’s chest. The texture of the good quality muscle was different from fat and was enjoyable to knead.

“Do you like swimming too, hyung?”

“No, I don’t.”

Yimyeong frowned.

“I’ve never done it.”

“Why?”

“I hate changing clothes in front of others.”

It was a satisfactory answer. Han Jiwan’s lips curved up in satisfaction.

“I see. It was because you were afraid of this getting found out.”

“…Eut….”

Han Jiwan abruptly slipped his hand inside his underwear and slid his finger across the tightly closed perineum. The usually dry crevice would start to secrete its own fluid with just a little caressing. After getting him aroused, if he just pushed a finger in slightly, it would quickly become wet.

“So soft.”

“…….”

“Are all Omegas like this?”

Yimyeong, who had sealed his lips, remained silent. Well, he seemed to have never interacted with other Omegas or Alphas in his life. It was perhaps natural for him to be ignorant despite being one himself.

“Fuck…. I don’t even know if there’s anything that can fit in here. If you can’t put anything in, why is it there.”

Han Jiwan grumbled as he pushed his thumb firmly into the narrow gap.

“Aheuk….”

Yimyeong’s firm body tensed up in an instant, with strength going all the way to his toes. The fact that this was proof of his inexperience in this area made him happy, but also anxious. He was burning up with the impulse to dig in right away, rummage around, and leave his mark even if it meant causing injury.

“Ah, eu… ha, stop, just, touching me.”

“I can only sleep if I touch you here.”

“Eut, it’s… bigger than before.”

He thought it seemed a little bigger. Yimyeong could not bring himself to say it and closed his mouth. But Han Jiwan, guessing the words he had left unsaid, laughed cheerfully.

“That’s right. You’re doing well, hyung.”

Han Jiwan kissed Yimyeong’s cheek and lay down long beside him. He did not remove the hand that was groping him below, concentrating only on the sensation at his fingertips.

“Mmm….”

Right next to him, Yimyeong, viewed up close, was frowning his handsome eyebrows as if uncomfortable. It was a look of suppressing the gentle, stinging stimulation that would not lead to orgasm.

“Ah….”

At first, he could not even insert a single knuckle of his finger in here. When he pushed in something with bone joints instead of a tongue, he was in great pain.

But now, about one finger went in with ease. When his body was relaxed after sex, he would accept up to two. He still gasped for breath with tension just by burying one whole finger, but it was much better than at the beginning when his whole body would tense up and tremble as if skewered on a stick with just a few centimeters inserted.

Of course, he had tried various methods. He felt like he would get sick from holding it in before even inserting anything, so he had once gone out with a device that could expand the inside inserted. When he forced in the small device slathered with a lot of gel, Yimyeong, despite his disgust, could not take it out himself out of fear of the pain.

The problem was what came next. Han Jiwan, who had returned from his outing, was reported by his employees that Yimyeong had gone up and down the stairs awkwardly like an injured person and had even eaten his meals standing up. When he removed the device from under him, who was groaning with a low fever, there was even a little blood. Seeing Yimyeong faint at the same time, Han Jiwan eventually gave up on expanding it with a device.

It was an incredibly tricky hole that required an insane amount of effort. It was annoying, but Han Jiwan had patience.

Still, the inside was definitely stretching little by little. It was progress, if you could call it that.

Han Jiwan closed his eyes and concentrated on widening the soft, moist inside. After inserting one finger without much difficulty, he attempted a second. It seemed to go in up to one knuckle, but the moment he buried it a little deeper, the sternocleidomastoid muscle stood out clearly on Yimyeong’s neck.

“Ah…!”

The pressure of the inner walls, which tightened around his fingers in a flash of pain as Yimyeong’s face contorted with a low scream of pain.

Just from the sensation transmitted through his fingers, Han Jiwan abruptly became erect. He was insanely aroused imagining the feeling of putting his own member inside this narrow space.

“Fuck… I want to put it in.”

“Ah, no. Eut… Ha, don’t. It’ll tear. Ple, ase….”

Yimyeong begged, panting. His reddened eyes were colored with pain and fear.

Han Jiwan was seized by the impulse to make him cry.

Even though he acted dull like an emotionally castrated person, if he dug into this weakness below, he would easily be shaken, and would also submit. He liked that very much. At the same time, he understood why Yimyeong had treasured this secret like his life. Once people knew about this, there would be an overflow of men who wanted to bring him to his knees….

“I, get it. I won’t do it. But relax.”

Han Jiwan barely managed to say, holding back his short, ragged breaths from excitement. The inside, buried with two fingers, was already soaked with a slick fluid.

When he pressed firmly on the slimy mucous membrane, Yimyeong let out a groan that seemed to scrape his vocal cords. Relax, Han Jiwan muttered, and waiting for the moment the inner walls loosened, he rotated his fingers inside. As if scooping out the inside. Yimyeong’s eyelashes trembled. Disregarding that reaction, Han Jiwan increased the speed of his jabbing fingers.

“Endure it.”

And then Han Jiwan thrusted so violently that his entire upper and lower arm was covered in muscles and veins. Unrefined breaths poured out of Yimyeong’s mouth. It seemed he had lost his breathing rhythm. His wandering hand touched Han Jiwan’s chest and fell away.

“Euut, euk…, heok.”

The groan that scraped his vocal cords and the ragged breathing from fear were very pleasant to hear. As he fucked him with his fingers as if penetrating him, the love juice eventually splattered and soaked even his palm.

“You’re fucking sensitive. Are you pretending to be scared to turn me on, or what.”

“Heok, heu… Ah, ah!”

“Even though you’re dripping like this….”

Han Jiwan muttered a low curse and grabbed his own penis with his other hand. Imagining that the pressure he felt on the hand he was currently fingering was enveloping his own penis, he quickly reached his peak with just a few strokes.

“Heok, heok….”

“Heueut, eu… euk…. Haah….”

When he opened his eyes, Yimyeong was staring at the ceiling with a dazed face from his orgasm. Seeing the physiological tears welling up in his eyes, Han Jiwan lowered his head. When he licked the tears with the tip of his tongue, he tasted the salty body fluid.

It was said that Alphas and Omegas each had a distinctive scent that they could recognize. It was said that the scent was strong not only in sweat but also in body fluids, saliva, and even blood.

Han Jiwan abruptly pulled out his wet fingers.

“Aeuk….”

Yimyeong groaned, curling his body into a ball. He had an expression that said his lower parts were stinging to death.

Han Jiwan raised his soaked fingers and smelled the scent of the love juice. If he expected something to be there, it seemed like there was a special scent, but….

It was too faint. In fact, the smell of the hand soap on his hand felt stronger.

Tsk, clicking his tongue, Han Jiwan swept his hair back with his wet fingers.

“Want to shower together?”

Then he forcibly grabbed Yimyeong’s wrist and pulled him up. Yimyeong was led by Han Jiwan with a face of resignation. As he got up from the bed and placed both feet on the floor, he momentarily gritted his teeth and frowned. It must be because his lower parts, rubbed by the strong friction, were stinging.

Even in that state, as if he was displeased at being held by a hand slick with love juice, Yimyeong tried to pull his wrist away. Han Jiwan deliberately squeezed his wrist tighter and went one step further.

“Why. I’ll wash you down there too.”

At those words, Yimyeong’s face momentarily showed displeasure. Seeing that reaction, Han Jiwan smiled with a face that could not hide his joy.

The pretense of being calm was just a pretense. Within Yimyeong’s heart, there were still emotions he did not reveal to him.

It did not matter what kind of emotion it was. Every time he discovered it, Han Jiwan felt an indescribable pleasure.

‧₊˚

When left alone at home, Yimyeong would sit in front of the television. He liked being able to see the person who had decorated a page of his past in this way.

Fortunately, just by turning on the television, he could see the highlight scenes of the games several times a day. This was especially true for events where a Korean athlete performed well. This year, everyone was saying that an upset had occurred in diving. It was because a world-class athlete had emerged from South Korea, which had been a barren land for diving.

The person of that upset was none other than….

Kwon Seolyoung.

Every time he faced him on the screen, the bitter memory of his first love lingered in his mouth. The roughness of his tongue was probably not a misconception. Yimyeong swept his mouth once for no reason. The taste of the beer that had already gone flat and lost its fizz was just like his current feelings.

On the other hand, the TV Yimyeong was staring at was vibrant, as if it were a different world.

A man with a sharp impression appeared on the large television screen.

—Athlete Kwon Seolyoung, his turn is approaching soon. He is preparing now.

The calm voices of the casters, hiding their excitement, continued.

The diving athlete of South Korean nationality, this being his second Olympic appearance. He was just wetting his body with water. Yimyeong looked at the man’s body with a fresh perspective. It was a strange experience to be able to see the body of his first love in this way. Water droplets splashed on the natural and artistic muscles sculpted by sports, creating an impressive picture.

The athlete seemed a little nervous. His cold-featured face was staring at one place, not even noticing the camera that was persistently following him. At the diving board he had to climb.

Looking at that straight side profile, Yimyeong felt a pain as if his heart was being stabbed.

Strange. It definitely ended a long time ago.

Yimyeong calmly swept his palm over his heart area. For him, the memory of his first love was closer to a knife that stabbed his heart unexpectedly rather than something sweet and tingly. Even when he was head over heels in love, he had felt pain more often than excitement.

There was a time when he had existed in the same space as the man on TV. It was a time when he was given the good fortune to watch him up close with the qualification of being a high school classmate. But as is often the case with classmates with an ambiguous relationship, they completely lost contact after graduation.

The crush was definitely over, he believed he was free.

But even now, after a long time, the physical dull pain in his heart remained. Perhaps all first loves that end as a crush are usually like this.

Yimyeong wanted to believe so.

The after-effects of love left some scars on Yimyeong. The throbbing of his heart when he saw his first love’s face might have been something he had been trained for since those days.

He thinks that if his opponent had not been famous, he would not have had to look back and remember like this. But unfortunately, Yimyeong had chosen the wrong opponent. Kwon Seolyoung was already receiving a lot of attention for his looks. In the future, the face he loved would appear unexpectedly not only on TV, but also in magazines he flipped through meaninglessly, and on bus advertisements. Digging into Yimyeong’s daily life so he could not even run away.

Yimyeong looked at the screen with a blank expression. The lukewarm beer he had unconsciously brought to his mouth again tasted terrible.

His first love stood on the precarious edge of the diving board. The whistle blew amidst the tension. The body, supported only by the tips of his toes, sprang up elastically.

Yimyeong did not take his eyes off his first love’s form, which seemed to be flying through the air. The image of him diving in high school overlapped with the television screen.

It was beautiful. From the body diving into the water as if being sucked in, to the tens of thousands of foam bubbles that sparkled like a mermaid’s tail and then disappeared, leaving a residue.

—Second attempt, a little disappointing, but he settles for 4th place. What do you think? Do you see a possibility of a medal?

—Yes, he’s still maintaining a high rank. He did very well. Athlete Kwon Seolyoung! You can do better. If you just do as well as you are now without getting nervous, you’ll be fine.

Kwon Seolyoung, who came out of the water, showed no major change in his expression even after checking his score. Some might call him a poker face, but Yimyeong, who had observed him up close for a long time, could tell that Kwon Seolyoung was happy.

His cold cheeks, wet with water, were slightly flushed with faint excitement. He was secretly happy about the fact that he could catch that.

However, Yimyeong’s face, which had relaxed with a little joy, quickly hardened.

‘Oh, right. I’ve been told I look like Kwon Seolyoung a few times.’

‘…….’

‘What do you think? From your point of view.’

Han Jiwan’s voice cut in unexpectedly.

Yimyeong, who was concentrating on the television, soon admitted an unpleasant fact. Han Jiwan did somehow resemble Kwon Seolyoung. The reason he had not realized it sooner was because they had no commonalities other than their impression. Especially their personality, their way of speaking, their gestures, and even the muscles they used for their expressions were completely different. It was as if two completely different people had been sculpted from similar materials.

But there were many overlapping elements that made up their faces, such as their cold impression when they were expressionless, their long, cool eyes that looked as if they were drawn with a brush, and their white skin.

After realizing that, he could not erase the nagging feeling at all.

Was it because one was a fresh memory and the other was a misfortune no different from being bitten by a mad dog?

It was unsettling. It felt like his brain was unconsciously trying to put the two people with similar faces into the same category. Yimyeong crushed the beer can flat in his hand and shook off the useless thoughts.

Waaaaah! Cheers erupted from the screen.

—It’s confirmed for a bronze medal! A bronze medal!

—It was a very close match until the very end, but athlete Kwon Seolyoung, you did really well!

Even at the moment his medal was confirmed, Kwon Seolyoung’s face did not flush with joy. He smiled calmly with his eyes slightly curved into a crescent moon and his lips gently lifted.

Even if his smiling face reminded him of someone, just confirming that the smile he had liked was unchanged made him feel better.

Rubbing his heart where the dull pain lingered again, Yimyeong thought that it might not be so bad to be tied to the past like this.

Although in this situation, he was a problematic being who might find it impossible to share love with someone for the rest of his life….

‘I too have loved,’ Yimyeong felt that fact was precious. It had ended as just a crush, and there were no special memories, but that was why he felt a sense of relief.

Because it felt like the only ordinary thing Yimyeong could acquire.