Dirty Sweet Baby Chapter 18

For the next four days, a precarious atmosphere continued. Although neither of them showed it, a taut tension had developed between Cha Moogyul and Baek Heeheon. Like the calm before a storm. An underlying anxiety that it might explode at any moment was present. The more it was so, the more Heeheon had no choice but to be on edge, conscious of him and mindful of his actions.

Afternoon. On that day, the sun did not shine even though the sky had cleared. Heeheon, who was looking at the scenery outside the window as if by habit, blinked his eyes slowly. Beyond the ridge, dark, black clouds were covering the sun.

Ah.

It is the beginning of the rainy season.

It seemed as if a few drops of fine rain were falling, but then the momentum picked up and the rain began to fall fiercely. In an instant, a downpour of heavy rain continuously beat against the window, playing a solemn classic. Heeheon, who was leaning his shoulder against the window and listening to the sound of the rain, fell into deep contemplation.

<You said you were sorry. Hyung.>

<You said you regretted it.>

<You said you were trying, in your own way.>

<Then try harder. Because I’m at my limit.>

‘…Trying, you say.’

Trying. Yes, trying….

Although it was pouring rain outside, Baek Heeheon’s expression was as dry as a desert. It was as gritty as if he were chewing on sand. The emotion that had been swelling up like a balloon without end gradually stagnated.

‘That’s right. I should be the one to try harder. That would be the right thing to do.’

Heeheon’s arms hung limply. The light in his eyes was broken. Baek Heeheon had taken the wrong path from the very beginning. It was an impossible struggle from the start.

‘To be confident that I could escape from Cha Moogyul. To feel relieved just because I became a guide, just because I came to the special district. Like a fool.’

So what if five years have passed.

What did he expect would have changed?

‘In the end, it’s just that the disaster I turned away from has come back to me in its entirety.’

Cha Moogyul. His mother. Guiding.

If he had known that this would be the result of running away, then he would have made a different choice the moment he first met him.

<I’m sorry. For not being able to act like a hyung and only putting you in a bad mood.>

<The way I avoided you and was shy when I was young… I don’t think I did the right thing either.>

He should have given up on everything from the start, emptied his chest, carved out his heart, and just properly played the part of Cha Moogyul’s brother. If he had done that, he would have been treated as a proper hyung, his mother would have been happy without any worries, and Cha Moogyul too… everyone would have enjoyed a trouble-free daily life.

‘Frustrating Baek Heeheon. To reach this easy conclusion only now. You’re so fucking stupid.’

He knew it from before.

That Baek Heeheon was the one in the wrong, and that Baek Heeheon was the one who needed to change.

Even though he knew it better than anyone, he took no action and let the situation fester until now. He did not try to get close to Cha Moogyul and curry favor, nor did he stick to him and offer friendly advice or teachings.

‘If I had at least smiled at Cha Moogyul once or twice, would something have changed?’

Whether it would have or not, there is no way to turn back time now. There is no use in regretting it.

In any case, the day when this short intersection comes to an end will arrive soon. The day when Cha Moogyul leaves Baek Heeheon behind and climbs to a much higher peak. After he, who had been distant from the first meeting until now, leaves for a place much farther away, then at that time….

Really….

‘Ha…. When on earth is that time going to be?’

He did not know.

It was just bleak.

He no longer had any confidence in how long he could endure. He could no longer resist him.

Beep, beep, beep.

How long had he been like that. The pager went off while he was aimlessly passing the time. Startled, Heeheon bumped his forehead against the window. To have to do the guiding, now, of all times, in this incredibly troubled moment.

‘I’m fucked, really.’

Heeheon dragged his body like a machine, went to check the pager, and put on his combat uniform with controlled movements. Being fucked was being fucked, but he still had to do what he had to do.

After finishing his preparations, Heeheon went down the stairs to the living room. He was planning to tie his combat boots tightly at the entrance and cross over to the annex. He would have done so if he had not heard a voice calling him from the middle of the living room.

“Baek Heeheon.”

A languid, deep voice tempted Heeheon.

Startled, he turned around and saw Cha Moogyul sitting on the sofa with his legs crossed. On the sofa table, an opened bottle of single malt whiskey and a glass were placed.

“What, you….”

Heeheon, unable to hide his bewilderment, checked Cha Moogyul’s current coordinates with his goggles. There was no need to even look; his location was displayed in the living room, not the training ground. Heeheon hesitated and approached him.

“Why are you here. What about the guiding.”

“What do you mean. It’s just as you see.”

“Huh?”

“The basic training course is over.”

Cha Moogyul extended a cool hand into the air. His long fingers beckoned, pointing at the glass. Then, a blue esper ability encircled the glass and slowly lifted it into the air. It was an advanced application that could only be done if one could not only gather and release energy but also control and manipulate it.

The glass that had flown up into the air was drawn into Cha Moogyul’s hand as if it were being sucked in. He did not spill a single drop of the liquor. To be able to showcase such a masterful display of esper ability would require quite a long period of training, but Cha Moogyul was, as expected, Cha Moogyul.

“So, you could say, this is a toast.”

“……”

“Have a drink. You too, hyung.”

Cha Moogyul flicked his fingertips in the opposite direction. A glass that was placed upside down on the edge of the sofa table floated up with a swoosh, and the whiskey bottle tilted on its own, pouring the golden alcohol with a slosh slosh. Heeheon refused the glass. This was not the time to be drinking.

“I’m not drinking.”

“Can’t you drink?”

“No, how can I do the guiding after drinking.”

With the pager having gone off, where was the leisure to be doing this.

There were established regulations and procedures. Besides, once he started to ignore the principles, things would get out of control later on. Heeheon tried to stop him.

“…What about the guiding?”

“We have to do it. After I finish this glass.”

Cha Moogyul’s lips curved into an arc ostentatiously.

“Don’t just stand there, come here. Sit.”

“It’s fine. I’ll wait here.”

“I said come here.”

Cha Moogyul’s neat fingertips twitched slightly. At that, Heeheon’s back was pushed by a blue force and he was dragged toward the sofa. Just like the glass had been drawn into his grasp a moment ago, this time, Baek Heeheon fell into his arms.

“Hey, ugh!”

Cha Moogyul caught the falling Heeheon. He held the glass in one hand and wrapped his other arm around Heeheon’s waist.

“……”

His irises, like the dark of a moonless night, faintly reflected the light. A bewitching smile was drawn on his soft lips. Heeheon’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. He did not know why that bastard was the only one looking so alluring in this situation.

“Cha Moogyul… are you drunk?”

“Not at all.”

“Don’t use your esper ability on people….”

“Why. Did I trouble hyung too much?”

His hand naturally moved upward. His four fingers touched his shoulder, and his thumb traced Heeheon’s nape as if scratching it. The way he was smiling like a classic handsome man from a black and white film was somehow creepy. His muscles were stiff. He had to shake off Cha Moogyul’s hand right now, but his body would not move, as if it were frozen.

“You seem to be trembling a little……. Are you surprised?”

“……”

“My fault again, I suppose.”

Heeheon clenched his fists tightly. He put strength into the tips of his toes and tried to straighten his body as much as possible. It felt like the world was spinning. Everything was being sucked into Cha Moogyul as the center. He was like a black hole. He was being swallowed.

Cha Moogyul let out a languid, pleasant laugh. His hand, which had been lingering around his nape, slowly touched the inner part of his nape.

“Hmm…. I’m contemplating.”

Heeheon turned his head.

“About what. Just get your hand off….”

“I’m thinking of making things clear soon.”

Making things clear, what…?

“But hyung. Why don’t you look at me when I’m talking?”

“……”

“You’re not going to look?”

“…Hurry up and finish your glass and get up. We have to do the guiding.”

“Guiding…. Yes, we have to. The guiding.”

His clenched molars ached.

Heeheon, even while gritting his teeth, tried to sit on the sofa nonchalantly. He did not even dare to avoid the hand that had pushed aside his collar without warning and dug into his nape; it was that terrifying.

Why is the air so cool when it is summer. Heeheon could not escape from the uncontrollable flow. Cha Moogyul’s presence was overwhelmingly huge. He felt as if he were being crushed by him.

“Ugh….”

“Stop flinching.”

“……”

“Does it tickle?”

He could hear him laughing as if he found it amusing. It seemed he was watching his reaction, tracing his neckline with his fingertips, as if to tease him.

This would not do. A surge of anxiety rose, the feeling that if he left Cha Moogyul like this, something uncontrollable would happen.

Heeheon, unable to suppress his wavering heart, hardened his expression. He needed to be firm, even if he had to fake it. Heeheon confronted him with fierce eyes that he had painstakingly created and criticized him.

“Don’t mess around, Cha Moogyul.”

“What?”

“I said don’t play these kinds of games. You’re my younger brother.”

“Haha, what younger brother.”

A chill ran down his spine at the movement of his fingers climbing up his neck. His large hand, which had ostentatiously brushed against his earlobe, tapped Heeheon’s deathly pale earlobe.

“Since when was I your younger brother. Do you count a younger brother with no blood relation as a sibling?”