To You, Who Will Die Alone in Paradise Chapter 71

I felt nauseous as the image of Herma’s mangled corpse resurfaced. Sarphana stopped talking when Dandeleon, his face pale, waved a hand.

“Why blood… Ah, it has a healing effect, doesn’t it?”

Dandeleon remembered the monster that had been imprisoned in the basement of Céleste Domaine. He had seen it heal its wounds by drinking his blood, so it was a natural conclusion. However, Sarphana scoffed.

“Do you think I would beg the daughter of Surha for blood just to heal a mere wound? It is for power, of course.”

“Does drinking blood make you stronger?”

“…You truly know nothing. There is much I must teach you.”

Sarphana let out a short sigh.

“There are three bloodlines between you and Zarmash, so between your mother and Zarmash, there were only two. Do you understand this much?”

“Well… more or less.”

He had thought earlier that ‘bloodline’ seemed to refer to generations. If he thought of it that way, ‘Zarmash’ seemed to be something like his mother’s grandfather, but considering the various contexts, it also felt like a concept larger than that.

“Zarmash is the pinnacle of evolution. The power of the Lazar comes from Zarmash’s blood. The purer Zarmash’s blood, the higher the stage one can ascend to.”

Sarphana was still terrible at explaining. But what was different from before was that Dandeleon’s mind was working faster. Despite the unfamiliar concepts and the unhelpful teacher, Dandeleon cleverly deduced a conclusion.

“So, you’re saying that monsters… no, Lazars, have more evolved and less evolved individuals? The closer to Zarmash, the more evolved they are, and the more they evolve, the stronger they become… and that power can also be obtained by consuming blood?”

“That is a very crude explanation, but it is not wrong.”

If we’re talking about crude explanations, Sarphana’s is much worse. Dandeleon pouted with a displeased expression. Still, he now understood Sarphana’s words to some extent. Simply put, his mother had been a pushover back in her homeland too.

“Even a strong Lazar doesn’t have an infinite supply of blood, right?”

“Of course not! Do you not think that is why I kept such a fiery watch over her?”

Sarphana said, grinding her teeth. Grit.

“That child was smaller than me and lacked much of my strength. And yet, she would go around giving her blood to just anyone and even collapsed once. What was I supposed to do, hmm? Answer me. Should I have let her manage her own affairs?”

“If it was that bad, I suppose…”

Dandeleon stopped mid-sentence. It had only been a few minutes since he had screamed and shouted, asking why they were all so selfish. Back then, both Kellewen and Sarphana had been nothing but irritating, but now, it felt a little different.

“…I understand what you’re trying to say.”

Sarphana had genuinely cared for his mother. He could tell just by seeing her reminisce. Her metallic, cold voice would soften slightly only when she said ‘that child,’ and even when she was angry, an affection she couldn’t hide was revealed. That must have been why she came all this way to find his mother.

Even though his mother, Apsara, was already dead and gone from this world.

“Dandeleon.”

It was the first time Sarphana had called him by his name. Feeling strange, Dandeleon deliberately avoided her gaze. When he lowered his head, his reflection appeared on the water’s surface. It was a strange expression, neither smiling nor crying.

“I… have regretted it for a very long time. When Apsara said she wanted to see the continent of the elves, I should not have sent her alone. I told myself it was because I sent that weak child alone that things ended up like this.”

He thought she would say more, but the silence stretched on. In the water’s reflection, Sarphana was also looking somewhere other than at Dandeleon. After a long while, she spoke.

“I do not want to lose family ever again.”

Her voice was calm and dry. For that reason, it felt as if she were suppressing her emotions. Dandeleon thought about how to reply, but no good ideas came to mind.

Looking back at the beach, he saw Kellewen. He was still sitting in the same spot where he and Dandeleon had talked, looking in their direction. Seeing that single-minded gaze made his chest feel tight.

He truly understood Sarphana’s words. Just as she couldn’t leave his mother alone, Kellewen couldn’t leave Dandeleon alone. He understood that feeling. He wasn’t angry because he disliked it.

‘I was, just…’

He hated the reality that he had lived, but as payment, Kellewen had to die. After performing the unprecedented miracle of resurrecting dozens of times, a price was of course necessary, but if that price was Kellewen’s life, it was a different story.

‘I don’t want you to die.’

Why didn’t Kellewen understand that? If he couldn’t bear Dandeleon’s death, then it was the same for Dandeleon.

Does he think he can’t live without me, but I can live without him? That was a truly selfish thought.

‘I want to save Kellen, too.’

His wavering thoughts gradually settled into place. A desire that had been simmering deep in his heart took shape and hardened. The more he thought, the more one thing became clear.

He wanted Kellewen. He didn’t want him to die. He wanted to save him.

If he no longer had to die, then the new life he had been given must, of course, be spent with Kellewen.

If there was no way at all, this would be nothing more than a child throwing a tantrum. But while listening to Sarphana, Dandeleon had just thought of an idea.

It was still just a hypothesis, and he didn’t even know if it was possible. The probability of failure was high, but even if it succeeded, it was uncertain whether Kellewen would happily accept it. Perhaps he would rather close his eyes quietly in the place he was born than survive by such means.

“Sarphana.”

“Speak.”

But now, Dandeleon had made up his mind.

“I have something to ask you.”

Even if it was a cruel thing to do to Kellewen, even if he didn’t want it, and even if he failed and lost him forever.

If there is no other way, then I will.

Kellewen blinked his eyes open. His vision was still blurry. The sound of the waves also seemed faint, as if heard from a great distance.

He raised a hand to rub his eyes, then simply gave up. His limbs felt heavy and his senses were dull. He was so tired that he just wanted to lie down and fall asleep. But Kellewen endured with all his might. He felt that if he closed his eyes now, he might not be able to open them again.

‘I don’t think I can make it to Yggdrasil after all.’

Kellewen thought, breathing with difficulty.

He had told Dandeleon he had to go back to offer his magic to the Guardian Tree, but that was nothing more than wishful thinking. His already poor physical condition was deteriorating by the moment, and now, every second was a struggle. The moment Dandeleon left this place, Kellewen’s time would likely end as well.

‘Leon, where are you…’

He was not afraid of death. He was only afraid of letting Dandeleon see him die. Kellewen wanted Dandeleon to leave the continent without any lingering attachments. He wanted him to forget all the hard things he had experienced here and return happily to where he originally belonged.

For that to happen, Kellewen could not remain a burden on his conscience. That was why he had said the insincere words about repaying his debt to Yggdrasil. It was far better for Dandeleon to feel betrayed by him than to worry about Kellewen being left behind alone.

‘There’s not much time left.’

But Dandeleon, who had left in anger, did not return, no matter how long he waited.

He knew Dandeleon wasn’t the type to leave without a farewell. He was probably calming his anger and organizing his thoughts. If it were up to him, he would want to give him plenty of time to think, but…

‘He’ll be here any moment now.’

There were a few abilities that had improved significantly through his countless regressions. His sense of gauging time was one of them.

Where the memories piled up layer by layer from repeated actions overlapped with the experience of being carelessly thrown into the crevices of time, an ability similar to foresight had blossomed. Kellewen could now predict almost perfectly what would happen within a few minutes.

Tuella Deum’s body would have been discovered quickly. If the Benoit royal palace had immediately sent the tragic news to the elven forest, and if another Tuella Deum had been on standby near the Benoit royal palace, they would have started their pursuit as soon as they heard the news.

Calculating in this way led to the conclusion that they had only about thirty minutes left. They really had to move now.

Kellewen forced his stiff body to stand. If they delayed any longer, things would get troublesome, so he planned to urge Dandeleon to leave, even by force.

But the moment he stood, his head spun and he felt a wave of dizziness. Kellewen staggered and ended up misstepping. Just as his legs gave out and he was about to pitch forward.

“Kellen!”

Along with Dandeleon’s scream, Kellewen’s falling body stopped.

Kellewen had assumed it was Sarphana who caught him. But when he came to his senses, Dandeleon was standing right in front of him, gripping his shoulders. He supported Kellewen’s weight with no trouble at all and asked.

“Are you okay?”

There was not even a hint of strain in his voice. That steadfastness moved Kellewen more than he could have imagined. He bit his lip as he looked at Dandeleon.

It had always been Kellewen’s role to catch Dandeleon when he fell. But this time, Dandeleon had caught the falling Kellewen. Kellewen recalled the Dandeleon of the past. He vividly remembered the boy who couldn’t walk for long and would often whine for a break, the arms and legs that broke so easily, and the way he would gasp for breath before finally spitting out handfuls of blood.

Dandeleon was recovering. He hadn’t even left for the land of the Lazars yet, but he was already so different from before. It also meant that Yggdrasil’s purifying power had diminished that much, but to Kellewen now, none of that mattered. He was just purely happy to see a healthier Dandeleon.

“Kellen?”

“Ah… I am fine. My foot just slipped.”

Kellewen straightened his posture, feigning nonchalance with a smile. He asked in a deliberately bright voice.

“Have you made your decision?”

“Yes, I’m going to leave.”

Dandeleon replied.

His heart sank. It was the answer Kellewen had so desperately wanted, and yet. He laughed inwardly at his own selfish attitude, mocking himself.

He felt he finally understood, though it was truly late. The reason Dandeleon had been so obsessed with having someone to witness his death. With their parting imminent, Kellewen, unlike before, felt fear.

How lonely would it be, the death he would face alone after Dandeleon left? If he held his hand until the very end, if he whispered that he was not alone, he felt he could die happy. The thought of dying forlornly on this empty beach filled him with terror.

“That was a good decision, Leon.”

But instead of revealing his fear, Kellewen pulled Dandeleon into an embrace and whispered tenderly.

He had witnessed Dandeleon’s death dozens of times. He did not want to inflict such a horrific memory on Dandeleon. Even if it was just a single death, he could not show it to him.

So, instead of saying he was scared, Kellewen kissed Dandeleon’s forehead. Hoping that the path ahead of him would be a happy one.

“Leon?”

But Dandeleon gently pushed Kellewen away.

“There’s one last thing I want to do.”

“What is it?”

Kellewen expressed his curiosity at Dandeleon’s words. As long as it wasn’t something that would take a long time, he was willing to grant him anything.

The violet eyes slowly scanned Kellewen’s face. As if this moment were the last, as if trying to remember every little detail. The anxiety flickering in his gaze was so pitiful that Kellewen deliberately put on an even brighter smile.

“Will you close your eyes?”

Dandeleon finally said with a resolute expression. Kellewen willingly closed his eyes. The fear that Dandeleon might leave just like that and the contradictory desire for him to leave quickly coexisted within him.

“Kellen, do you trust me?”

Dandeleon whispered, moving even closer to him. Kellewen answered.

“Yes.”

At that moment, something plunged deep into Kellewen’s stomach.

Stab.

“……?!”