Weren’t You the One Who Was Dying? – Chapter 34

Author: Asternkm

I was about to bring up the seal, but I closed my mouth. It wasn’t just that the mood didn’t feel right.

I also thought that returning it with my own hands might only stir up trouble for no reason.

“……I just came to check if your shoulder was really better. But seriously, why do you sleep so poorly? You don’t even lie down properly.”

“Mind your own business.”

“You always say that. I’m saying this because I care. When you’re tired, no illness heals properly.”

Ehit, who looked like he was about to say “mind your business” again, stopped.

Doubt filled his face, like he was about to say something. I waited a little, feeling tense, but he only looked at me with that cold, chilly gaze.

Since he didn’t open his mouth in the end, I just stood up.

“Don’t you know the saying that sleep is the best medicine? Wounds heal faster when you sleep well.”

I wasn’t saying it just because I had nothing else to say. Every time I saw him, his complexion never seemed to improve, so as a healer, I was honestly worried.

For an ordinary person, I might’ve just thought he was tired and moved on. But knowing Ehit’s ending from the original story, I couldn’t ignore even small signs.

Right now, he looked arrogant, like he owned the whole world—but in the end, he was born with a short life.

Sometimes I hated how cold and arrogant he was toward me, but when I thought about that, my feelings softened a little.

Even toward that prickly look he was giving me right now.

“I’ll just leave the ointment.”

I took out the ointment I’d prepared, placed it in front of Ehit, and turned around.

I was hurrying to leave the study when I heard a voice behind me say, “Wait.”

‘Should I pretend I didn’t hear and just leave?’

But my neck wasn’t stiff enough to ignore someone calling me, so I stopped.

Soft light streamed in through the window of the study. The man, standing with his back to the light, walked up to me and put something in my hand.

It was the ointment I’d just placed on the table.

Why was he giving this back?

As I looked down at it briefly and raised my eyes, Ehit spoke.

“I’ll be honest. You and I are engaged.”

I know that already.

“But I’ve never once thought that we would actually get married.”

Oh, that’s great to hear.

That was what I wanted to say—but his face as he said it was too still to take it happily.

It was just distant. Not arrogant, not mocking, not looking down on me.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, don’t have romantic expectations, and don’t expect this kind of goodwill from me.”

“I’ve never expected that.”

Hearing my answer, Ehit crossed his arms and looked at me quietly.

“That’s hard to believe, considering how much you’ve already shown me.”

“Me?”

“Are you saying you haven’t?”

I thought it over, but nothing came to mind.

“Yes.”

“So you’re pretending you don’t know again.”

“I really didn’t do anything. If anything, weren’t you the one with romantic expectations?”

What did I do, exactly?

I felt unfairly accused and a bit annoyed, so I shot back without thinking.

“What?”

“Earlier, your eyes were shaking a lot. We were so close that I saw it without meaning to.”

I pressed my lips together and handed him the ointment again. When he didn’t look like he’d take it, I just shoved it into his shirt pocket.

“I’m leaving.”

I said goodbye, but Ehit only kept looking at me. Until a moment ago, he’d seemed detached from everything, but now he was silent again, like something had broken.

‘What is it now?’

I should just hurry home. Talking about romance when real life is this harsh is ridiculous…….

As I turned away, Ehit grabbed me again.

“Is there nothing you’re hiding from me? Really?”

“What?”

“Are you hiding anything—from me?”

“…….”

A few seconds passed.

Every time he asked like this, his unfriendly eyes grew colder, and his voice turned icy, like handcuffs. That coldness numbed my thoughts.

In the short time where I should’ve been thinking fast and answering calmly, all I did was blink three times.

Lying takes acting skill. Maybe my calm always ran out in front of his gaze—I couldn’t easily say a shameless “of course not.”

It was strange. A few days ago, in the carriage at the Diela Palace, I’d answered right away. Why was it harder today?

“……When it comes to you, I want to do my best too.”

In the end, my answer wasn’t a clear yes.

Ehit might’ve noticed that I avoided answering directly.

But at least from my side, it wasn’t just a polite, empty response.

Ehit’s expression stiffened slightly.

“That had better be true.”

“What?”

“I hate liars,” he said. “Very much.”

Ehit picked up the neatly placed jacket in the corner of the study and put it on.

“I’ll be leaving Bellachen for a while starting tomorrow. We’ll talk about the rest after that.”

And with that, he left the study without even looking back, as if he had something urgent to do.

****

The waves of the night sea were calm. The fleet moved forward along a path lit by stars.

On the night the ten-day expedition ended, a small victory party was held on the ship.

After clinking glasses a few times, Ehit stepped out onto the deck to feel the night wind. Beyond the glass, with faint bubbles rising, the black sea spread out as if it might swallow him whole.

Bellachen wasn’t far now. After sleeping and waking to daylight, the port would probably come into view.

Once he arrived, he’d handle the work left unfinished during the expedition and make a few changes to the study’s layout. Archers had sent brief reports about the estate by telegram, but there were still things to deal with.

After finishing those, he’d finally lie down in bed with his tired body.

‘Sleep is the best medicine. Get some proper rest.’

At the voice that surfaced without warning, Ehit clenched his teeth.

It was like something had been planted in his mind—the more tired he got, the more her words came back to bother him.

Ehit shook his head once and raised his glass.

I need to think about something else.

He lifted a hand and touched his shoulder. The pain from the injury in Regen was almost gone.

Still, if Dapflen saw it, she’d probably scold him for not taking proper care of it—without knowing that this was his version of “doing his best.”

“Hah.”

Ehit let out a low, hollow laugh and drank deeply.

Again. He was thinking about that woman again.

This time, not just her voice, but even her slightly sulky, dissatisfied expression came to mind.

“Am I losing my mind from exhaustion?”

From inside the ship, loud voices and laughter echoed. It seemed Dellers had made some kind of joke.

People burst into laughter, and Mendel and Belize were practically holding their stomachs. Only Ariel, who rarely laughed, quietly emptied his glass.

A short exchange followed between Dellers and Ariel. Dellers looked a bit flustered by what Ariel said.

When Dellers responded with a forced relaxed expression, Ariel shot him a sideways glance.

The look on Dellers Bright’s face was different from how he looked in front of Ehit. Ariel was his superior too, but it felt like he’d peeled off one more layer of his mask around him.

Then what about in front of Dapflen?

Just as his behavior differed between himself and Ariel, it would surely differ with Dapflen too. Mendel had emphasized again and again how close the two were.

And the same would go the other way. Dapflen would be different with others as well.

Ehit believed he was good at seeing through people, but Dapflen’s inner thoughts were strangely hard to read.

It felt like she wore a mask in front of him that she didn’t wear for others. She seemed honest, yet sometimes lied—and seemed troubled by those lies herself.

Did she show her true, unmasked self to someone else? Had she ever honestly told anyone, in her own words, what condition her body was in?

At least, not to Ehit.

Irritation rose for no clear reason. Ehit pressed his temple.

Meanwhile, inside the ship, drunken chatter filled the air.

“The major should really talk less.”

“I haven’t even said half of what I wanted to, sir.”

“I should ask the colonel to introduce someone who can make you quiet.”

“You seem to be joking less tonight.”

“Too kind.”

While briefly talking with Dellers amid the noise, Ariel noticed that he was paying quiet attention to something.

Ariel followed the direction Dellers suddenly glanced toward.

‘Colonel Cloyden?’