Weren’t You the One Who Was Dying? Chapter 98

“Right, of course.”

“To be honest, at first I thought we only brought her home to reassure Mother. But now, she’s already become someone who could never be replaced.”

“Shh. You’ll wake Dapflen.”

Beneath my closed eyelids, my eyes trembled violently.

If I understood correctly…

Did that mean I… wasn’t originally a member of the Aileta family?

That my brothers and parents weren’t my biological family either?

There had been times when things felt strange.

I had wondered why only my eyes were lighter than everyone else’s.

There were times when I wondered why I was the only one who didn’t know things the rest of the family seemed to take for granted.

When I was young, I sometimes couldn’t understand the sadness in Father’s eyes whenever he looked at me.

At moments like those, I felt as though I stood one step apart from the Aileta family all by myself.

But those were things I had gradually forgotten as I grew older.

And now it felt as though I had suddenly learned a truth that everyone in the family had hidden.

Combined with the confusion that had followed me all day, it left me even more lost.

Part of me wanted to open my eyes and ask, “Is that true?”

Another part wanted to confirm it.

“Then… I was never really part of the Aileta family?”

But in the end, all I could do was keep my eyes closed and pretend to be asleep.

What else could I possibly do right now?

It was obvious why they had hidden it for over twenty years.

As the carriage rattled over the road, I simply lay there, breathing quietly as though I were fast asleep.

Even when my brothers handed me over to Ehit,

even when he carried me into the mansion in his arms,

I kept my eyes tightly shut and continued acting like a drunk person.

“Dapflen.”

After laying me down in my dimly lit room, illuminated only by a small lamp, Ehit sat beside my bed and looked at me quietly before calling my name.

It didn’t seem like he expected an answer.

He had simply wanted to say my name.

He squeezed my hand once before letting go.

Even amid the turmoil left behind by what I had heard from my brothers, that touch felt painfully clear.

Ehit sat there watching me for a long while before finally leaving the room.

Only after he was gone did I slowly open my eyes and stare blankly at the ceiling.

The calm before the storm.

Until this afternoon, I thought that night two days ago had been exactly that.

The shock of hearing about Jaymon yesterday and coming down with a fever.

The confusion from hearing those terrible rumors about Aileta today.

To me, those things had felt like a great storm arriving after a quiet night.

I thought that was the storm.

But apparently, it wasn’t.

The greatest storm is not the day when cold winds like that begin to blow.

It is the day that comes afterward.

After all those cold winds.

The day I finally say those words.

The day I personally tell Ehit that we should break off our engagement.

The day I bring everything to an end.

That was the true storm.

And I knew that day was not far away.

I had been handed a reason that would make deciding it far too easy.

“…”

What was truly important to me?

Closing my eyes for a moment, I thought about everything that would happen to Ehit.

The little time he had left.

The terrible things that might happen if Aileta remained entangled with Cloyden.

When his time finally came to an end,

I wanted him to leave carrying only gentle and beautiful memories.

But I had no confidence that I could give him that.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t control every variable.

In the end, something might happen that would make Cloyden want to take everything from Aileta.

Something that painful.

Ehit had told me he liked me.

But his feelings were probably still shallow.

If things continued like this, a pain far heavier than those feelings might crush him and leave him full of regret.

If I left while his feelings were still light,

then perhaps he would only suffer for a few days.

I quietly let out a breath with my eyes closed.

I clenched my own hand tightly.

Holding on to the lingering warmth Ehit had left behind in it.

 

 

****

 

 

 

“Ehit, want to go eat?”

It was a holiday.

Late in the morning, I went to Ehit’s room and asked.

The sky outside was brilliantly blue.

A perfect day to go out.

“I’m surprised you’re the one suggesting that first.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Think back to my first day in this mansion. I even wanted to watch you eat.”

“I thought perhaps you had lost interest, considering how little we’ve eaten together these past few days.”

“Haha, sorry about that. Come on, let’s go!”

Though Ehit spoke in a slightly teasing way, he didn’t seem unhappy about going out to eat with me.

He followed me.

We went together to the restaurant where I had once eaten with Dellus.

Back then, I had spent the entire meal thinking about Ehit.

Ehit would probably like this.

I should come here with him someday.

That was why I had brought him today.

“What happened that day?”

“That day?”

“The day you went drinking with your brothers. Well, drinking quite a few glasses.”

“Ah.”

A lot had happened.

But telling Ehit about it now would accomplish nothing except complaining.

And I had no right to complain anymore.

Not when I was preparing to say what I intended to say.

“I was just excited because I hadn’t seen my brothers in a long time. I drank a little more than I should have.”

“You should have invited me too.”

“If you had come, you wouldn’t have survived the atmosphere.”

“I suppose that’s true.”

Ehit nodded as if admitting it and chuckled.

After eating at the lovely restaurant, we walked along the beach.

The sunlight danced across the water.

A street performer was playing the trumpet by the shore.

We sat on a nearby rock and watched together.

“So we finally get to watch a performance together.”

“I’m sorry about canceling that day.”

“It’s fine. There will be another chance.”

Instead of answering, I simply smiled.

At first, Ehit had seemed somewhat distant after several days apart.

But as the day went on, that stiffness gradually melted away.

The gentle smile he had shown me on the day we confessed our feelings returned to his face.

“Do you usually like things like this?”

“Like what?”

“Performances.”

“Of course. They make you happy.”

Ehit slowly nodded before turning his eyes back toward the performance.

“I’ll remember that.”

“Hm?”

“It’s nothing. Keep watching.”

Time is relative.

Days like this always seem to pass more quickly than others.

We had gone out at midday, but before I knew it, the sun was already setting.

“It’s getting cold. We should head back.”

We returned to the mansion by carriage.

Despite all the conversations we had shared that day, I remained unusually quiet during the ride.

“You can sleep if you want.”

Ehit seemed to think I was tired.

The carriage arrived at the mansion.

The garden was illuminated by lantern light in the night.

As I stepped down, Ehit held out his hand to help me.

“If you’d like, we could spend a little more time in the study. Or you can simply rest if you’re tired.”

He spoke while we walked.

But I couldn’t readily agree to either option.

An awkward smile slipped onto my face.

Apparently it looked strange enough that Ehit stopped walking.

“Ehit, there’s something I need to tell you.”

He looked at me questioningly.

“Let’s talk inside.”

“No. I’ll say it here.”

I took a step back.

If we went inside,

if I felt that warmth,

if I sat across from you there,

I didn’t think I’d be able to say it.

It was better now.

Here.

With the cold wind filling the space between us.

“…”

I had said I wanted to talk.

But the words refused to come out.

I didn’t want to make him wait.

The longer I dragged this out, the worse it would be for him.

I parted my lips as though to speak, only to close them again.

Seeing me hesitate, Ehit stepped closer.

The kindness in his eyes made me dislike myself a little more for what I was about to do.

“If it’s difficult, you don’t have to say it now. Tell me when you’re ready.”

“It’s not as though I’m going anywhere.”

He added the last part jokingly.

I tightened my clenched hands.

So tightly that my nails dug into my palms, though I barely noticed.

I looked at him.

And finally spoke.

They were words that had once seemed so easy.

At first, I had thought that once I was ready, I would say them immediately.

That saying them would feel like a relief.

“I think… we should break off the engagement.”

Yet why did those words hurt so much now?

The moment he heard them, Ehit’s expression froze.

Forcing a smile, he took both of my hands.

“Dapflen, I told you. I hate jokes like that.”

“I’m not joking.”

Even after hearing my answer, he seemed unwilling to believe me.

He gave a short laugh and held my hands more tightly, as though trying to comfort me.

“Did I do something wrong? I’ll fix it.”

“No. Nothing like that. I just want to end this relationship.”

My voice trembled slightly.

The faint smile on Ehit’s face began to disappear.

“It really sounds… like you mean it.”

“I do. Because I mean it.”

The warmth in his eyes faded.

Yet he still refused to let go of my hands.

As though releasing them would truly end everything.

A long silence followed.

“You know the conditions for breaking an engagement. And the compensation that comes with it. Are you saying you’re prepared to bear all of that?”

“I know. But none of that matters. Because anyway…”

My throat felt dry.

I swallowed and continued.

“The engagement itself…”

I forced myself to finish.

“…was invalid from the very beginning.”