Formless Chapter 17

Gangwoo’s eyes, looking down at the small face, curved gently. He bent his waist slightly and met Heewoon’s eyes.

“Just quit after this month. It’s more than 2 weeks left, so that’s fine, right?”

Heewoon nodded slightly. He thought inwardly, That means he intends to play with me for two weeks or more. The thought that this life would continue for quite a long time felt like his neck was being strangled.

“The… card…”

“Sunbae should keep it. Use it if you need it.”

“…”

Heewoon’s lips parted slightly.

If he was afraid of being entangled by money, he should have offered the card back to Seo Gangwoo. However, Heewoon nodded.

If I return something he gave me, Seo Gangwoo won’t leave me alone. I just won’t use it. Heewoon thought, as if speaking to someone.

“What are you going to eat for lunch?”

Gangwoo asked normally, straightening his back. Following him as he started walking again, Heewoon vaguely mumbled, “Cafeteria food.”

“Cafeteria food… I see. It’s better than scraps of bread.”

He muttered, “See you tomorrow,” and headed toward the parking lot. Heewoon awkwardly raised his hand to wave at Gangwoo, then turned around and headed towards the central library.

He had packed rice balls to eat in the evening. He decided to eat those for lunch. He thought he would eat snacks during the tutoring session in the evening.

But there were no snacks at the 8:30 PM tutoring session that day. It seemed the student, who had been displeased seeing Heewoon eat a lot of snacks, had mentioned it to his mother.

Heewoon glanced at the already empty glass of grape juice, then checked the clock. 9:45 PM. There was still some time left. There would probably be snacks during the 11:00 PM class, he thought. His stomach rumbled again.

“Ahem. Did you finish solving it?”

He cleared his throat, subtly covering his stomach, and adjusted his grip on the ballpoint pen.

“Yes.”

“Right. Since this is the spot for the complement, an adjective must come here…”

“Ah. I know.”

The student cut off Heewoon’s words. The eyes under the round glasses glanced at Heewoon’s arm covering his stomach. The student looked directly at Heewoon and said,

“Teacher. I told you to eat dinner before coming. I can’t concentrate because of the gurgling sound.”

Seeing the malicious enjoyment floating on the sullen face, Heewoon was speechless. His face flushed bright red.

The rectangular card deep inside his wallet came to mind.

🧸

The exams were over. However, this didn’t mean Heewoon could rest comfortably. Since the middle and high school midterms were next week, he had to create 100 practice problems for each school. He could still only sleep 3 to 4 hours a day.

One morning, Heewoon asked his mother.

“Should we get our passports made?”

“Huh?”

“No. It’s good to have them made just in case. We might be able to go on a trip…”

Heewoon drank water, turning his gaze away from his mother.

“What if those people say something because we made passports?”

Mother is easily frightened. It seems he inherited that personality from her completely.

He couldn’t return the card Seo Gangwoo gave him, nor could he use it.

Sometimes, when he was too tired and struggling, he registered the card’s existence. I’m going through all this hardship, so I can use Seo Gangwoo’s money, right? It’s like compensation for the suffering. Even as he tried to convince himself, countless questions filled his mind.

What if he asks me to pay it back later? Loan sharks sometimes want to kill Heewoon but cannot, but Seo Gangwoo would be perfectly capable of following through.

Even if that wasn’t the case, what if he loses interest in him overnight and asks for the card back? He doesn’t have a job immediately, so how would he pay off the debt, and how would he cover living expenses?

He was also afraid that Gangwoo had given him the card when there was absolutely no reason to do so. It couldn’t be for hush money, as Seo Gangwoo was already controlling him sufficiently even now.

‘Just because. It’s a bit annoying.’

That statement was hopelessly inadequate as a reason.

There was another fear.

Let’s imagine quitting all the tutoring sessions as Seo Gangwoo said and living by using the card. He would be able to sleep much more than now, he wouldn’t have to bow down to students younger than himself, and he would have time to prepare for employment during his free hours.

Then…

What if, when this life ends, he isn’t entirely happy?

Gangwoo giving Heewoon the card drove Heewoon into yet another fear.

Heewoon gazed at his mother’s face. Worry filled the eyes of his mother, whose appearance had changed significantly over the past few years. What she wanted was clear: safety.

Heewoon said gently,

“They won’t say anything about making a passport. And how would they know, Mom?”

“…Is that so. Then should we make them?”

“Yes. Let’s pay off the debt quickly and go on a trip.”

His mother, who had been staring at Heewoon, nodded her head.

The passport came out in less than a week. Holding the small, green notebook-like thing made him feel a little more at ease.

So, he kept it in his bag and sometimes took it out and fiddled with it.

After the students’ midterms were over, he gained a little leisure time. However, the tension and anxiety only grew. This was because the period Seo Gangwoo had mentioned was approaching.

“Does it feel good?”

Gangwoo, who had Heewoon sitting between his legs and was hugging him from behind, whispered into his ear while rubbing Heewoon’s penis.

“Heeut… Eugh…”

Heewoon lifted his chin and moaned. When his soft hair touched under Gangwoo’s chin, Gangwoo naturally kissed the top of his head.

“Huh? Tell me. I asked if it feels good.”

Gangwoo hurried him, digging at the sensitive tip of the glans with his fingernail. Heewoon shivered violently as if struck by lightning. Yet, the hand did not stop.

“Hwaah! Gangwoo… stop, euugh, stop…!”

Gangwoo looked down from behind at Heewoon, who was twisting his body and bracing his knees. His toes, pushing against the bedsheet in distress, were pink. Staring at the twitching toes, Gangwoo slowly licked up behind Heewoon’s ear.

Heewoon’s hair, shaking his head side to side, tickled Gangwoo’s chin. The scent of the same shampoo Gangwoo used scattered into the air. Heewoon’s original sweet-smelling shampoo wasn’t bad, but Gangwoo preferred the current smell. To be more precise, he liked the refreshing scent that wafted after Heewoon came out of his bathroom having washed up following intense sex, instead of the cheap scent Heewoon brought with him.

When the bathroom door opened and Heewoon emerged amidst the familiar scent and hazy steam, his hair was always wet. It seemed he was in a rush and didn’t properly dry the moisture. When Heewoon’s lips moved, water dripping from his hair, Gangwoo’s lower abdomen would often tighten again.

It was the same today.

He couldn’t ask if he could leave, but instead just vaguely trailed off, saying, “Gangwoo…” Watching Woo Heewoon, a sudden spite surged up, making him grab his arm and pull him close.

Gangwoo strongly squeezed and stroked the smooth penis. Below the bed, Heewoon’s wet clothes and underwear lay scattered, having been hastily put on without even properly wiping his body.

“I’m helping you out since you couldn’t come earlier.”

When he whispered, pretending to be affectionate, Heewoon shook his head.

“Haaut… I, I don’t want it…”

“You don’t want it? Understood.”

Gangwoo, raising one eyebrow, took his hand away from the penis, which was oozing pre-cum.

Heewoon gasped for breath. Gangwoo calmly stroked his chest, which was rapidly rising and falling. The hand, which had been plainly patting the center of his chest, soon naturally moved to the side.

Seo Gangwoo pressed his cheek against Heewoon’s, fiddling with the small nipple as if it were his own. Staring intently and lightly flicking the nipple with his finger, he said,

“It looks a little swollen.”

The sound of his light laughter suggested he liked it.

Heewoon stared intently at his own erect penis. His nose stung. He bit hard on the inside of his cheek and forced out a calm voice.

“Let go of me.”

“Why. Going to the bathroom to relieve yourself?”

The whisper was tinged with amusement.

Gangwoo, with the corners of his mouth upturned, nipped at Heewoon’s earlobe and said,

“Huh? Are you going to do this?”

The large hand lightly stroked Heewoon’s penis.

“Eugh… Don’t…”

“Keep your hands still.”

Gangwoo’s voice was full of enjoyment. Meanwhile, Heewoon, who was struggling and groaning to push away Gangwoo’s hand, which was only gripping the shaft, was driven to madness by distress.

Seo Gangwoo grabbed both of Heewoon’s wrists and pulled them to his chest, fixing them there. With his other hand, he quickly moved Heewoon’s penis.

Having his penis touched by someone else’s hand was a greater pleasure than expected. He wanted to push away, but his hips moved involuntarily.

A little more. Just a little more. Heewoon squeezed his eyes shut. His slender waist and pelvis moved back and forth as if having intercourse. Gangwoo’s gaze, which had been gently biting Heewoon’s earlobe, landed there. His brow gradually furrowed.

“Aah—!”

Heewoon screamed. This was because Gangwoo had suddenly strongly squeezed his penis.

“Sunbae.”

Tears that had already gathered plop, fell onto Gangwoo’s thigh. Gangwoo leaned his head next to Heewoon’s and asked,

“Have you tried using this?”

“Heeu… What?”

Heewoon turned his head and stared blankly at Gangwoo.

“I asked if you’ve had sex.”

Gangwoo casually poked the half-shrunken penis, which was numb from pain. Heewoon was about to speak, but Gangwoo wrinkled his brow and cut him off.

“Forget it. What does it matter. But it would be better not to do it in the future.”

“…”

“I just imagined it for a moment, and it made me feel unpleasant.”

Heewoon’s lips moved.

Until when?

That question caught in his throat.

“It shriveled up.”

Gangwoo leaned down and muttered, fiddling with Heewoon’s penis. He glanced at Heewoon’s face.

“Mmm.” Gangwoo made a sound in his throat, then grabbed Heewoon’s waist and gently moved him to the side. Heewoon sat still without even thinking about covering his naked lower body.

Gangwoo lifted Heewoon’s head. “A face that looks like it’s about to cry,” Gangwoo muttered, gently rubbing beneath Heewoon’s eyes. He looked at him intently, then smiled slightly.

“Are you going to cry again just because I squeezed you painfully?”

His voice was playful yet extremely gentle.

“…I won’t cry.”

Gangwoo smiled and stroked Heewoon’s head. He reached his hand between Heewoon’s legs again.

“Don’t feel too bad. I’ll take care of this part affectionately for you.”