Formless

Author: nicotine

Heewoon stared up at Gangwoo.

Seeing that Hyukjin being hit, he had been afraid at the thought that he might be hit like that too. But it seemed he needed to shift the direction of his thoughts slightly. As was the case in the car earlier too. Seo Gangwoo was handling him extremely gently.

Of course, the problem was that ‘gently’ was according to Seo Gangwoo’s standards.

“I said, sleep.”

A large hand thump, covered his eyes. As Heewoon blinked in surprise, a soft voice said, “Don’t blink, close your eyes.” Heewoon closed his eyes. The hand, which had rested on his eyes for a long time, brushed past his hair and patted his back.

Since the fluorescent light was bright, Heewoon tossed and turned, completely burying his face in Gangwoo’s chest. The hand that had stopped briefly patted his back again. Heewoon quickly fell asleep. And he vaguely thought,

What if he hits me for actually falling asleep.

Heewoon opened his eyes at some point. His eyes were stinging, and as he was rubbing them, his head was stroked.

“You still have 10 minutes.”

He looked up and saw Gangwoo wearing an affectionate expression. “10 minutes,” Heewoon muttered, rubbing his cheek against Gangwoo’s shoulder. It was due to not being fully awake yet.

“Are you cold?”

“Yes.”

Gangwoo pulled up the blanket covering below his waist and held Heewoon’s body slightly closer, leaving no gap. Heewoon blinked languidly. Looking down at the clear face, Gangwoo smiled faintly.

“Even this isn’t bad.”

To Gangwoo’s self-talk-like comment, Heewoon pretended to react with, “Hmm.” Gangwoo removed the strands of hair clinging messily to Heewoon’s forehead and stroked his head.

10 minutes later, as Heewoon looked at the clock and tried to get up, Gangwoo playfully pulled him into a sudden hug. He pressed a kiss on the head of Heewoon, who had collapsed sideways onto the bed again, and Gangwoo muttered,

“I wish you wouldn’t leave.”

“I don’t want to go either.”

Heewoon was unusually exhausted today. That was why the words burst out. It was also due to the soft and cozy air lingering around them.

“Is that so? Then don’t go.”

Gangwoo said indifferently.

“…Then I’ll be fired.”

Sadness was contained in Heewoon’s voice. If even one more student quits, there will be a hole in the money he has to pay next month. He needed to find one more student quickly. First, he should take the midterms and then look for one. Should he ask the kids about group tutoring? Excluding the ones who would feel bad—Jiyeon or Seunghyeon…

Gangwoo, who had been staring at Heewoon, lifted himself off the bed. Heewoon followed Gangwoo with his eyes as he fetched the wallet placed on the desk.

Gangwoo sat down on the edge of the bed, so Heewoon also sat up.

“Here.”

Heewoon stared blankly at the card Gangwoo took out of his wallet. When Heewoon looked at him inquisitively, Gangwoo smiled broadly.

“You can buy a thousand of the snacks sunbae likes.”

‘Snack’ probably referred to macarons. Seo Gangwoo’s polite language was truly worse than not using it at all.

When Heewoon just kept looking at the card, Gangwoo gently unfolded Heewoon’s hand and placed the card on it.

“…This, for me to use?”

Gangwoo nodded at Heewoon’s question. Heewoon looked back and forth between the card and Gangwoo, then cautiously opened his mouth.

“Um… thank you, but I can’t afford to pay it back.”

“Who asked you to pay it back?”

Heewoon gazed at Gangwoo’s composed expression. Even if he tried to figure out if Gangwoo was teasing him or had some other hidden motive, he couldn’t read anything from Seo Gangwoo’s face.

“…Why?”

“Just because. It’s a bit annoying. So quit everything you’re doing now.”

Gangwoo rubbed Heewoon’s cheek with his thumb. Although his complexion had improved slightly after sleeping, Heewoon stared blankly at Gangwoo with still hollow eyes.

There is no such thing as a free lunch in the world. If he used Seo Gangwoo’s money, he would become even more deeply entangled than now.

So, he shook his head.

“You don’t want to?”

The well-shaped eyebrows furrowed.

Heewoon, slightly scared, replied, “Yes,” and then got up. It seemed better to put some distance between himself and Seo Gangwoo.

“Why? Is it because your pride is hurt?”

“No.”

No such thing as pride remained.

Watching Heewoon pick up the bag placed on the floor, Gangwoo twisted the corner of his mouth.

“That wasn’t a suggestion earlier. I told you to do it. Quit everything within this week.”

“Understood?”

With his eyes locked with Gangwoo’s, Heewoon fiddled with the bag he was wearing.

Money is truly frightening. No matter how much money Seo Gangwoo had, there was no guarantee that he wouldn’t demand the received money back later. Heewoon had clearly seen how cruel and ugly people entangled in money could become.

This was similar to the rationale for not asking Seo Gangwoo anything. To quietly wait until he loses interest in him without getting further entangled. So that when that time comes, he can disappear cleanly.

It wouldn’t take long.

Heewoon, who thought of it like an incantation, opened his mouth.

“No.”

And immediately fled the bedroom as if escaping.

His heart pounded wildly, fearing that Gangwoo might chase after him. Perhaps he had committed such an act because Seo Gangwoo had been remarkably gentle today.

It wasn’t until he left the mansion that he realized he was tightly clutching the card in his hand. Heewoon chuckled mirthlessly while looking at the card.

Just then, his cell phone vibrated.

[What are you going to do about tomorrow?]

His heart suddenly sank at the message.

🧸

The next day, Heewoon cautiously entered the lecture hall. Perhaps because he had arrived a little early, Gangwoo hadn’t come yet. Heewoon hoped that Gangwoo wouldn’t come to school today, if possible.

10 minutes before the lecture started. Heewoon scanned the half-filled classroom and took a book out of his bag. Today’s class would proceed by only taking questions instead of giving a lecture.

Heewoon opened the page he had folded. He read the parts marked with highlighter again, organizing his questions. Perhaps because he had slept in short intervals, he was able to study until dawn yesterday.

Just then, Gangwoo naturally sat down next to him.

“Hello, sunbae.”

Heewoon was startled and glanced at Gangwoo, then mumbled, “Uh-huh.”

“Aren’t you going to return my greeting?”

“Ah… hello.”

Heewoon couldn’t look at Gangwoo or the book, awkwardly staring into the air. Gangwoo tilted his head and peered into Heewoon’s face.

“I thought your guts had spilled out.”

“…”

Heewoon moved his lips but lowered his eyes. The fact that many eyes were watching helped somewhat.

“Did you eat breakfast?”

“Yes.”

Heewoon kept his gaze on the corner of the book he had folded. He wished the professor would come in quickly.

“I think sunbae is a little dense.”

A small, self-talk-like voice was heard from the side. Heewoon gripped his fist under the desk, focusing his attention.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to look elsewhere before you understand?”

Heewoon finally turned his head quickly. Meeting his eyes, Gangwoo said in a gentle voice,

“It’s basic to face each other when having a conversation. Right?”

“Yes.”

When Heewoon nodded a couple of times, the corners of Gangwoo’s mouth curled up slightly.

“What did you eat for breakfast?”

Gangwoo asked, resting his chin in his hand.

“I ate ramen.”

Gangwoo, who was staring intently at Heewoon, firmly pressed a finger right below Heewoon’s collarbone. Heewoon widened his eyes and lowered his head.

“Did you want to show off what you ate?”

“Ah. No…”

There was ramen broth splattered on the spot where the straight finger had passed. As the flustered Heewoon fiddled with the stain left on his white T-shirt, Gangwoo chuckled.

“Do you like ramen more than rice?”

“Just because it’s convenient.”

Seo Gangwoo, who was frowning, straightened his posture as the professor entered.

🧸

“I can’t have lunch with you today. You can manage to eat well by yourself, right?”

Gangwoo said as they walked out together after the lecture. His tone suggested that Heewoon was like a child and that he was taking care of such a Heewoon.

“Oh.”

Since it was his last semester of senior year, Seo Gangwoo sometimes only had morning classes. Seeing him go somewhere after having lunch suggested he wasn’t idle. The thought that this might be to kill or threaten someone sent shivers down his spine, often making his whole body stiffen.

“The tutoring.”

“Huh?”

“Did you tell them you’re quitting?”

It was just as they were leaving the department building. Heewoon fixed his gaze on the cloudy sky and swallowed dryly. As his answer was delayed, Gangwoo turned his head.

“No, not yet.”

For now, that was what came out.

“Not yet?”

His heart sank at the repeated question, and Heewoon spoke defensively. The students have their midterms soon, some are at a crucial time, and quitting abruptly feels inconsiderate…

Seo Gangwoo said nothing. The tap-tap sound of their footsteps hastened Heewoon’s heartbeat. Heewoon felt ridiculous himself. How could he refuse to listen to Seo Gangwoo when he was this scared by just this much?

Gangwoo stopped abruptly.

“Sunbae.”

“Huh?”

Heewoon looked up at Gangwoo, tense. Gangwoo, with a blank face, fiddled with the area above his eyebrow with his thumb.

“I have something I’m thinking about right now… There are two options.”

“…”

Gangwoo’s hand slowly rested on Heewoon’s shoulder. He lightly grasped the shoulder, then stroked it gently downward from the neck, as if patting it.

“Whether to make sunbae listen to my words very well.”

His thumb gently pressed Heewoon’s neck. His Adam’s apple twitched. Gangwoo’s gaze brushed past Heewoon’s neck and rested on his face again.

“Or to go easy on him and treat him affectionately.”

“…”

Heewoon’s complexion turned pale. “What do you think?” Gangwoo whispered, tilting his head.