Formless Chapter 50

It was scary. It was the first time he had drunk such strong liquor by the bottle, and the first time he had gotten drunk so quickly. A dull ache spread across his chest, perhaps because he had forced himself to swallow it, or perhaps because his heart was beating so fast. Heewoon clutched his chest.

“I, I can’t drink it.”

A small voice came from the prone Heewoon. Hearing the sound of approaching slippers, Heewoon lowered his head completely and trembled.

“Aack—.”

Suddenly, his hair was grabbed and his head was pulled up. Gangwoo’s face, which he was forced to meet, was expressionless. Heewoon cried pitifully, but he spoke indifferently, as if unimpressed.

“Clench your teeth.”

“Uuuh….”

Fear filled Heewoon’s eyes to the brim. Confirming that his cheeks tensed from biting down hard, Gangwoo struck his cheek hard with his palm. It made a threatening sound, not like it was from the palm of a hand.

“Uuuh……!”

Since he was clenching his teeth, a suppressed sound echoed from inside his mouth. Heewoon fell to the side, unable to come to his senses. Gangwoo, who was staring at the twitching Heewoon, said.

“Sit up straight.”

Even with his head ringing, Heewoon heard that chilling voice. Heewoon fumbled with his hands and got up. His entire vision was swaying.

“I’m going to hit the other side.”

“Yes, yes, yes….”

Heewoon realized in that moment that being slapped on the cheek a while ago was no different than being caressed.

Watching Heewoon answer while trembling, Gangwoo clicked his tongue. You have to close your mouth properly. Gangwoo tapped Heewoon’s chin, which was wet with tears and alcohol.

Only then did Heewoon clench his teeth tightly and squeeze his eyes shut. His tense face trembled as if in a seizure. Gangwoo raised his other hand and struck his narrow cheek.

“Huuu….”

This time, Heewoon did not fall to the side but only swayed, bracing himself with his hands. His head was spinning badly, and he could not tell if the nausea was from being hit or from the alcohol. Either way, it terrified Heewoon.

“Lift your head.”

Heewoon lifted his head, breathing heavily. His eyes were squeezed shut and his teeth were clenched tightly.

He thought he would be slapped hard on the cheek again, but a hand touched under his chin quite gently. Heewoon hesitated a few times before opening his eyes.

“Hiccup…!”

Heewoon’s shoulders flinched as his eyes met Gangwoo’s. Gangwoo, who was fidgeting with his tightly clenched jaw, pressed his lower lip and made a sound, ah.

Gangwoo’s finger dug between the slightly parted lips of his frightened eyes. Not knowing what he was trying to do, Heewoon could not take his eyes off Gangwoo.

The finger pressed against his teeth, touched the flesh inside his cheek, and then slipped out. The thought occurred to him that it was to find a tooth to pull.

“Gang…hiccup, woo. Hiccup….”

Gangwoo looked at the hiccupping Heewoon, then glanced down at the floor below the bed. It was soaked with alcohol. It had spilled from the bottle he had dropped when he was hit on the cheek the first time. The white bedsheet was also soaked with alcohol. Watching the alcohol now dripping in droplets, drip, drip, Gangwoo picked up the new bottle on the table.

“Drink again.”

Gangwoo opened the cap and held it out to Heewoon. Heewoon’s hand trembled as he took the bottle.

Heewoon lifted the heavy bottle and slowly brought it to his lips. Tilting the bottle was terrifying. The slowly tilting liquor seeped between his lips. The strong scent wafted up. His head was spinning. It might have been because he had been slapped on the cheek.

Seo Gangwoo was standing right in front of the bed, looking down at him. If he did not drink, he would slap his cheek again. It was dreadful to be hit on his still-stinging cheek again. Heewoon squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed the alcohol.

He managed to down about three mouthfuls. After that, he could not swallow anymore.

The pain in his chest that had started earlier grew worse. His vision blurred chaotically. He was scared.

“Huuup…huuu….”

Gangwoo stared down at Heewoon, who was trembling, just holding the bottle to his lips without being able to swallow. Both his cheeks were bright red, and a reddish hue had risen on his white chest. As he watched quietly, Heewoon lowered the bottle.

“I, I can’t drink it.”

Gangwoo lightly slapped Heewoon’s cheek. A smack sound was heard.

“Huuuuk….”

Heewoon, with his eyes closed, sobbed. He was fidgeting with the bottle but could not bring it to his lips.

“It’s the alcohol you like. So why can’t you drink it.”

At Gangwoo’s words, Heewoon burst into tears.

“If I drink more, I, I think I’ll die.”

Heewoon, crying with his shoulders shaking, looked at Gangwoo and pointed to his chest.

“Ga, Gangwoo. It hurts here….”

My head is also so dizzy, and I don’t think I can see well. Just once, please let me off just this once. What if I really die.

Gangwoo, who had been watching Heewoon for a long moment, snatched the bottle from him.

“If you act like a spoiled child, do I have to let you off?”

“Tha, that’s not it, it really hurts here…huuup….”

Heewoon squeezed his eyes shut at the cold liquid trickling down his face. Gangwoo was pouring the alcohol over Heewoon’s head.

The amber liquid soaked his hair, passed his forehead, and flowed down beside his nose. Only when the alcohol touched his slightly parted lips did Heewoon clamp his mouth shut. A larger amount gradually covered his face.

“Uuup…huuu….”

Feeling suffocated, he took a slight breath through his nose, and a little alcohol went in. It stung so much. His skin seemed to sting too.

The alcohol continued to flow from his face down his body. The liquid soaking his feverish body felt relatively cold.

“It’s a big problem that you’ve only gotten better at feigning sickness while watching my mood.”

“N, no…cough, huuup….”

“And I’m a pushover for wanting to let you off every time I see it.”

Gangwoo muttered lowly as he poured out the last drop over his head. He tossed the bottle carelessly onto the bed. Heewoon, his face drenched, sobbed without being able to open his eyes. The smell of alcohol seemed to make him even more drunk.

“Cough. Gangwoo….”

Heewoon flailed his hands in the air. Looking at those hands, Gangwoo caressed Heewoon’s cheek. The coldly wet cheek was wiped a little inside his palm. Looking at his drooping eyelashes, he lightly swept over his eyelids, and Heewoon opened his eyes with difficulty.

Hiccupping while looking into Gangwoo’s unreadable eyes, Heewoon placed his hand on the back of Gangwoo’s hand.

“I, I’m dizzy. I’m cold. Gangwoo.”

Looking like a drowned rat, Heewoon desperately pressed his cheek against Gangwoo’s hand and spoke pitifully. Watching him rub his cheek against his palm, Gangwoo twisted his lips.

“Were you like this yesterday too?”

“Gangwoo….”

Heewoon was so disoriented that he only mumbled. Even so, he held onto Gangwoo’s hand tightly.

“Tell me, Woo Heewoon. Were you like this with those bastards too? Huh?”

Gangwoo grabbed Heewoon’s face tightly. Heewoon’s hand, which was holding the back of Gangwoo’s hand, also tensed.

“Uuuk, I don’t know what you’re talking about….”

Gangwoo’s darkly clouded pupils stared intently at Heewoon’s face. The grip did not weaken, so Heewoon’s face gradually contorted.

“I feel like I’m going crazy. My anger flares up to the top of my head and then subsides…. The thought of you being like this in front of other bastards makes me angry again.”

“Uuuh…i, it hurts….”

It felt like his jawbone would be crushed. Heewoon held Gangwoo’s hand with both of his, not knowing what to do. Looking at the face contorted in pain, Gangwoo slowly released his hand. Heewoon clutched his aching jaw and let out a moan.

“What am I going to do with you.”

Heewoon lifted his head. Meeting the gaze that flashed with something cold and sharp, Heewoon suddenly turned pale. He swayed and threw his arms around Gangwoo’s waist.

“……”

Gangwoo looked down at the head of Heewoon, who had pressed his cheek against his waist. The robe quickly became damp because of Heewoon, who was wet from head to toe.

“Don’t hit me, Gangwoo. I… i, it hurts so much right now.”

His tightly shut eyes were hot. Heewoon suddenly became aware. Aware of himself not begging Gangwoo not to kill him. As if he was certain that Seo Gangwoo, who killed people so easily, would not kill him.

However, one fact was also certain. Seo Gangwoo would not kill him, but he could hurt him.

Still, no words came from Gangwoo. Heewoon sank into fear. Being unable to control his body and his vision being dizzy were scary, but the scariest thing was Gangwoo.

His white back trembled pitifully. His eyes followed the alcohol dripping from his hair down his back, and then Gangwoo opened his mouth.

“What should I do?”

“…Just let me off….”

Heewoon flinched, lifted his head, and said cautiously.

“I want to kill all the bastards who were with you. Should I still let you off?”

Heewoon nodded, his eyes locked with Gangwoo’s. Gangwoo, who had frowned for a moment, said accusingly.

“Woo Heewoon, you’re mean.”

However, Heewoon noticed that Gangwoo liked his answer. It was because he brushed away the hair that was stuck messily to his wet forehead. Tears streamed down the cheeks of Heewoon, whose eyes were cast down. Gangwoo watched it intently and said.

“Lately, I get turned on just by seeing you cry, sunbae.”

Heewoon’s lips parted.

“I don’t know if it’s because something’s wrong with my head, or if everyone gets turned on like that when they see your crying face.”

“……”

The eyelashes of Heewoon, whose eyes were closed, were wet. Gangwoo gently swept over them with his fingertip.

“You tell me, sunbae. Are other people like that too?”

“…I, I don’t know. I don’t cry in front of other people.”

Gangwoo watched in silence for a moment as the trembling eyelashes went up and the wet pupils were revealed. He pressed gently on the corners of Heewoon’s eyes and asked.

“You don’t cry in front of others, but you only cry in front of me?”

His words were slow, as if savoring them for himself.

“Yeah.”

Meeting the eyes that looked up blankly, Gangwoo raised the corners of his mouth crookedly. Yes, that’s a relief.

“Other bastards will make fun of you if a grown adult cries.”

“Uh-huh.”

“But I dote on you even when you cry at the drop of a hat.”

“That’s right….”

Heewoon nodded his head in agreement. Looking at his glistening, wet eyes, Gangwoo laughed like a sigh.

“Hand.”